I do not own Gundam Wing. All I own is a computer and a banana.
Duo looked into the vast obilivion that was space, or maybe it wasn't.
He wasn't sure anymore.
It happened slowly, when he didn't know it was coming, it usually happened in his sleep. But, now it was happening when he was awake.
Images that were not of his own doing, but yet were, flooding his consciousness.
He was cursed with them for eternity, but, it only seemed to happen to him...
Why?
Because he was Shinigmi?
It that why the death pictures showed him the morbidly beautiful images.
He could sometimes smell it, smell the flesh being ripped open, blood spilling over the burning skin.
It made him sick, but...
But
The worst part of the whole thing was, he craved it, needed more, in an unquenchable way.
He was c
r
a
c
k
i
n
g
*^*
Deathscyth swerved and moved, entrapped in a dance of titans.
Duo loved battle
He needed it.
Probably more than the Perfect soldier.
He would go more insane than he already was without it.
But...yet, this battle, dance as it were. Didn't have the intimacy Duo needed.
He couldn't hear the cries of horror, anguish, of pain. He couldn't quite smell the burn, the blood, he knew was there. He needed to coat his hands in the blood, brush his fingertips lightly over the carnage he caused.
A wounded soldier is so beautiful....so beautiful.
His eye twitched as the mobiledolls were getting easily destroyed.
How utterly dissatisfying.
He wanted carnage!
They were like caged animals.
He wanted a challenge, so the screams would be more satisfying.
He loved it when the other soldiers hurt him. Shot him, burned him, cut him, whatever. Its was like a fetish...
Images flashed before his now glazing eyes.
Eyes rolled back into the skull.
Stomachs hanging open, innards hanging out.
Bruised covered necks.
Charred corpses splayed about the field.
He was back in reality.
Feeling queasy in the stomach.
Yelling a battle cry he launched himself into the Dolls with a fierce vigour.
Using the more barbaric approach of hacking the suits in half right at the cockpit.
Sparks shot out of the broken giants, wires waving in the air in a last salute to the young boy that brought them crashing down.
The man inside probably had a wife named Laura, and a dog named Sparky, his daughter had probably made him promise to come back home for her birthday.
Duo could hear the others voices, they were telling him to come back, the bomb was already ticking.
It would take care of the rest of them, and him if he didn't get out of there now.
The mecha bent its knees and shot up into the sky, just as the base below exploded, or was it imploded?
Hmmm
When he was finished that thought, they were already in the hangar.
How did that happen? We were just above the base....'
Okay, maybe he was a little crazier than he let on in the first place. He pressed the buttton to open the hatch, only to be berated by his team mates.
What the fuck did you think you were doing Maxwell?! the enraged Chinese boy shouted.
Hiiro looked at him more coldly than usual. You, could have _fucked_ everthing up. stating a fact. You knew it was just seconds before that place blew and you were still attacking. Hiiro glared, turned around and walked away. Trowa met his gaze with a cool stare, then did the same as Hiiro. Wufei looked at him in fury. He marched up to him, looked him up and down, then without a word stalked away. Quatre. Quatre just looked at him in disappointment, shook his head then turned away.
He was alone again.
But there anger was completely understandable, but that fact didn't stop the slow hurt that crept up the base of his neck.
But Hiiro had toughened him up from emotional pain such as this.
He was Hiiros fuck buddy, but Hiiro never let him come to his bed.
He was ashamed of him, of his dirty little secret.
Maybe it was Relena, she said jump, he said how high.
When anybody was around, he wouldn't touch him, and Duo wasn't allowed to touch him either.
It was just the way it was.
When he was musing, his feet had decided to take him to the pool, he was already knee deep in water.
What th-- but he was cut off by his own sharp intake of breath.
The images were back, but this time, what scared him the most, was they were of him.
Him hang from a rope, a note taped to his chest.
Him face down in a pool.
Him lying there, with a gun in his hand and black blood circling around his head.
Him slashed with vertical and horizontal cuts knife in hand.
Him broken on a side walk.
Him lying frozen in the snow.
Him in bed, pills and vodka bottles littered around him.
He opened his eyes, and took in a big gulp of air, problem was, he was at the bottem of the pool.
He sat still, moderatly comfortable with the water swimming in his lungs. He slowly swam to the top.
This was wrong, his body wasn't reacting right.
When he came to the surface, he made sure to spit out the water in slow even streams, then took a fresh breath of air.
How long had he been down there?
10 minutes?
10 seconds?
3 years?
He submerged himself under again, it was perfectly silent under the water, perfectly.
The water would absorb his horror, it would.
He screamed.
*^*
Duo felt his left eye twitch as he entered the house, soping wet.
Then he was in his bathroom, looking at his reflection, hearing the muffled murmering voices of his companions through the vent.
Sad indigo eyes glared back at him.
What?
I didn't say anything
Why are you looking at me like that?
Like what?
Like.....THAT?
Because you worthless.
Who are you?
What you are.
What does that mean?
His reflection grinned devilishly at him.
You think you're going crazy, ne?
I know I am.
Crazy people have much more fun, don't you think?
Its all a matter of opinion.
*^*
Hiiro silenced them with a motion of his hand.
What is that?
Its probebly Duo, the baka. Wufei mumbled.
No, Quatre straned to hear. Listen, theres someone else.
They were silence, only to be rewarded with they disturbing conversation.
Why are you looking at me like that? Duo.
Like what? The lower more sultry voice of Duo.
Like..... THAT?
Because you're worthless.
Who are you?
What you are.
What does that mean.
A pregnant pause.
You think you're going crazy, ne?
I know I am.
Crazy people have much more fun, don't you think?
Its a matter of opinion
Then silence.
What the fuck was that? Wufei exclamed.
I.... think he was talking to himself......but, that......was way to creepy, it was like...... he was haveing a conversation like you would with a stranger. Quatre murmered, looking shaken.
YOU STUPID FUCK! From upstairs.
Next thing they knew Duo was storming down the stairs, mumbling obsanitys.
He didn't even seem to see then as he cut through the dinning room, and in to the living room where they were seated.
....stupid fucker, telling me I'm crazy...... DOESNT HE THINK I WOULD HAVE KNOWN ABOUT IT...ARRGG!! Duo started pacing back and forth.
The piolets looked at each other.
Duo... Quatre said cautiously.
But he didn't seem to hear.
He sat down on the floor and put his chin in his hand.
*^*
Crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy......'
Why did this person in his head deside to talk to him now?!
Well, on some level the person was him......or, maybe it wasn't.
When he came too, he was sitting cross legged, on the floor, the guys were giving him looks he couldn't place.
Oh god what had he done?
He blinked owlishly at them.
Uh, hey guys.... whats up? He prayed to Shinigami that it worked.
They looked at him increduously.
No dice....crap.
Maxwell, what the fuck were you doing up there?! The outraged Chang.
Did they hear him talking? Oh Shinigami....
....I don't know what you're talking about. And he did something that he though he would never do to them.
He gave them a steely glare.
You know damn well what we're talking about, now, tell us please, what was the conversation you were having with yourself. Because were drawing blanks here, so help us out. How can you be sarcastic and talk in monotone at the same time? However its done, Hiiro managed it.
Fuck you Yuy. The simple three words that I have dreamed of saying to his face. Yeah, thats right, Fuck you!
Ha!
I got up from the floor, and pivited on my heel.
I walked calmly out of the room.
Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn!
He marched up into is room, kneeled by his bed and prayed.
Dear, God, Kami, Buddha, who's ever up there please, please make all this go away. I don't want these pictures anymore. The last part was sobbed out.
*^*
I really think its to much stress. Trowa voiced out.
Yes, he's been acting odd all month.
Yeah, it must be all the stress.
Weak baka, cracks under a little pressure.
Stress, that must be it.
*^*
He hated him.
But yet was falling in love.
Hiiro...his name, the hero of the people...he wished he would be his hero. Save him.
More pictures flashed.
You know what you have to do to keep the pictures under control'
No.
Yyeesssss' the voice hissed.
Duo got up and walked to the bathroom, he was about an inche away from self mutilation.
Oh God.
He opened the cabinit, and pulled out a bottle of tylonal. He walked out of his room and down the heavely carpited stairs. There was a mahogany door just down the hall, that was where the bar was.
He was usually the only one that used it.....it showed how weak he was. Dependent on worldly matters for help.
He blinked.
The door was right infront of him. He turned the handle, it seemed as if night had crept up on him, the moonlight spilled into -out of?- the room.
Duo sauntered over to the bar, and grabbed a bottle of vodka.
He chuckled.
He was a whore.
He took seven pills in his hand, popped open the vodka lid, and downed both.
Arg his throat stung.
Would this put him in a coma? Or maybe kill him?
Well it looked like he was going to find out.
He was starting to feel the effects, so he walked to the door, opened it and started on his way back to his room.
Was it just him or was the hallway alot longer coming back then it was before.
Yeah....it was him.
Hoe boy. he mumbled
He stumbled to the stairs, then crawled the rest of the way up, both pills and vodka stuck firmly in hand.
He made it.
He was in the bathroom, in the tub.
I'm.....getting so.....tired...of this. he slurred.
The pills dropped out of is hand, scattering in all directions, like white spiders they were.
He wearily lifted the bottle to his lips and took a half hearted swig.
He turned the cold water on with his foot.
Why wasn't he dying?
Because you half wit, you do this all the time, your getting a higher tolerance.'
Ahh, fuck you......you drug induced......um........thi...ing.
He tilted his head back, letting his braid be submerged in freezing cold water.
He shivered.
The water was up to his neck.
Over flooding.
He didn't want to ruin Quatre's nice house.
It took three tries but, he turned the water off with his toes...which were now turning red from the cold.
He giggled.
Okay! How was the first chapter? Do you like it? Please review! *Eats reviews* Flame if you like....but I will only point and laugh. If you have any suggestions, please tell me! P.S. I fixed some of the things. Not much but some of it.
Thanks!
M-Ann