Disclaimer: Don't own them and sadly never will, I just like to make them dance every now and then.

Warning: This fic contains language and innuendo not suitable for children.

Authoresses note. One of my New Years resolutions was to complete and post least one story. I never said anything about it being a good one.

Bee looked around in confusion. He was standing in a long hallway in front of a door that said, Isabelle's Unattended. This wasn't right. Less than thirty seconds ago he had been waiting outside the school for Sam to appear and now he was…somewhere else. He looked down the hall again. The door in front of him seemed to be his only option. Finally his curiosity got the better of him and he opened the door. When he stepped inside he was surprised to see two Ironhides, three Sams, two Jazzs and another version of himself all sitting in a circle, along with Ratchet and Captain Will Lennox.

"Looks like we have a new arrival." Ratchet said as the others looked towards the door.

"Hey there Bee." Jazz #1 said patting the empty seat next to him. "Why doncha sit and visit with us awhile?"

"What is this place?" Bee ask.

"Well Bee it goes a little somethin like this." Jazz #1 began. "There's this femme, her name is Isabelle and she likes to write about us."

"Yeah Jazz I'm aware of that." Bee interrupted. "Why are we here?"

"I'm gettin to that if you'll just give me an Astrosecond. Like I was sayin, our girl likes to write but she has a little problem finishing what she starts."

"That's one way of puttin it Jazz." Ironhide #2 snorted.

"Anyway." Jazz #1 said glaring at Ironhide. "We're not completely sure what this place is. Near as we can guess, after so long of her not workin with ya, ya kinda go inta stasis."

"You mean death by boredom." Sam #3 grunted.

"Look just who's tellin this thing me or y'all?"

"Ok Jazz I think I get why we're here." Bee said glancing around the room. "But my question is how do we get out?"

"Well the Doc came up with the theory that once she finishes the story you're in your free."

"So it's a waiting game." Lennox added. "Sitting here waiting for the little lady to decide she wants to take us out to play again."

"Huh as long as we've been here Lennox," Ironhide #1 said. "I'll double flush my exhaust and off-line if she ever gets back around to us."

"How many times do I have to tell you Hide?" Lennox grumbled as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "It's shit twice and die. If your gonna use human slang you could at least use it right."

"I don't know what you complaining about Hide." Sam #1 said. "You're bored. Waaah Big freakin deal. I'm happy to be here. She hasn't worked on you in a while. Who cares? You wouldn't believe the things she was trying to do with my story. I got two words for ya big guy Barricade and a ball gag."

"I can see that" Sam #2 said casually. "You seem like the type that would end up with a rough trick like Cade."

"Says the guy being ridden like Seabiscut in the third." Sam #1 snapped. "You honestly think no one knows what was going on before you two got here? You walked in here that first day like you had a roll of quarters jammed up your ass."

Sam #2 opened his mouth to retort but was cut off.

"He's right you know." Bee #1 chuckled. "You did walk funny."

Everyone was so engrossed with watching the two Sam's argue that no one noticed the door opening again. Standing in the doorway, in a pair of loose fitting lounge pants and a t-shirt that had 'I'm not mean you're just a pussy' written across the front, was the authoress herself looking very unhappy. Jazz #2 was the first to notice.

"Miss Izzy?" He said in disbelief. "What are you doin here?"

"Well I was trying to go back to sleep, but y'all are making such a god awful racket I can't." She said glaring at the offending group. "So I thought I'd come up here and we could have a lil' chat." The group grew silent as she made her way to its center. "Now lookit' I'm tired. I've been up since Ass O'clock this morning and I wanna go back to sleep so let's settle this so y'all can shut up already."

"Why doncha have a seat?" Jazz #2 said offering her his hand.

"Thank you Jazz." Wincing a little, she settled herself in Jazz's palm. Ratchet noticed and stepped forward.

"Are you injured?" He ask even as he was running a scan on her.

"Nothing major, just a paint ball bruise." She pulled up her shirt a little so he could see the uppermost part of the nasty red and purple welt. "I've been keeping ice on it. Now what can I do to get the rest of you to shut up?"

"Well you see Ma'm." Lennox began politely. "We've been stuck up here an awful long time and I guess it's making some of us a little crazy."

"Did I write you boys stupid or something?"

"I'm sorry what?"

"Just what I said Lennox, did I write you boys stupid?" With a disgusted look she rubbed her hands over her face. "Look did it ever occur to any of you Einstines that if you could be here then you could go anywhere?" Nothing but blank faces stared back at her. "Oh my God you have to be the dumbest bunch of slack jawed morons ever created. No offence Jazz." She patted the hand that held her.

"None taken."

"If you have been stuck in here that's your own stupidity. There's whole big world up here." She taped the side of her head. "And you guys are pretty much free to go where ever you want in it."

"So you mean we don't have to stay in here till you finish our story?" Bee #2 ask.

"Nope Bee your free to roam as you please. You can go back to your own story or go play in another one. All I ask is please try not to create anymore plot bunnies. I've got my hands full with the ones I've got now."

"You mean to tell me I've been sitting up here on my aft for no good reason?" Ironhide #2 growled as his cannons whirled to life. "Women I should blast you straight in to space for this."

"Keep it up." She said as a frightening smile played across her lips. "You keep givin me shit and I'll load your sorry aft up and turn you in to Megatron's personal little pleasure puppet."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Keep pushing me, I'm sure the rest of the Herd would be more than happy to help think up all kinds of kinky things for you and Megs to do to pass the time." She looked around the room again. "Now is there anything else I can do for you or can I go back to bed now?"

"You go on now." Jazz #1 said as he lowered his hand. "I think we can figure it out from here."

"I swear to God." She mumbled as she slid to the floor. "Buncha dumbass guys makin me come all the way up here after spending the whole flippin morning getting shot at just so I can tell them stuff they should already know. I should get a medal for all the male stupidity I put up with in my life." She didn't even look back at them as she marched out the door.

After she was gone the group stood there staring dumbly at each other.

"Soooo." Sam #3 said slowly "Anyone wanna play poker?"