This work is purely fictional, created by myself. All credit to LucasArts for Star Wars. This is for entertainment purposes.
Remain focused, control your emotions.
Anakin remembers the advice Obi-Wan repeatedly gave him throughout his years of training and companionship. He was a wise mentor, but Anakin continuously felt undermined by his authority, frustrated by his limitations in not being able to show the potential he possesses.
Anakin approaches the large granite doors of the Jedi Temple on Coruscant. He was in the bowels of the temple, where the Jedi Council unite and grant deserving young padawans the positions they have a right to, and deny that for the reckless and unprepared. The doors open, revealing a large circular room, mostly blanketed in darkness but with a small circle dimly illuminated in the centre of the room. In his full padawan robes, Anakin walks to the centre and sits, cross-legged as he waits for the beginning of the test, eager to have the annoying braid of padawan hair dangling over his shoulder finally removed.
Anakin was in a serene state of mind, completely clear and focused, but somewhat hesitant as the unknown approaches. Out of the darkness, a soft, gentle tap was heard. The small stature of Master Yoda is revealed, using his walking-stick to slowly confront the padawan. Anakin felt Yoda in his usual wise state of mind. Not condescending, but informative.
"Begin, your trial will. Your own path, this will take you. Urge you to find comfort in and prepare for the unknown, I do. You have potential Young Skywalker, learn to control it, you must."
With that, the small master turned around and returned the way he came. Feeling it to be appropriate, Anakin took out his lightsaber and placed it on the floor in front of him. Since the confrontation with Count Dooku, Anakin had felt a slight disconnection with the force. He wasn't able to control it as well as previously. His senses were slightly blurred, his lightsaber felt less refined, and the nightmares, more frequent.
Anakin closed his eyes and heard the familiar voice of his dear Padme.
"I love you."
His mind is taken to another place, disconnected from his body. Anakin remembers his exchange with the beautiful senator shortly before they were to be executed.
"I truly, deeply love you, and before we die I want you to know."
The raw emotion of that kiss is something that he will never forget. But living a lie? Living a romance that must always be kept a secret? That is something Anakin cannot live with. It makes him angry. Every night, Anakin has a disturbed sleep, fearing for what will happen to his beautiful new wife.
Focus Anakin, you must control your emotions.
Anakin attempts to clear his mind, focus on that which makes him happy without the close connections forbidden by the Jedi. His mind races back to that pod race. Anakin was one with the pod. He built that. He raced it. He won. The euphoria of knowing that he will finally be able to leave that dustball and realise his dream was one of the best moments of Anakin's life. Anakin remembers the joy of telling his mother that he will finally be something more. He wanted to make her proud.
His mother.
Whenever Anakin is reminded of his mother, he only sees her dying in his arms. The blood on her hands and face as he savoured those final moments. The love he felt. For that brief moment, Anakin was not a padawan. He was a son, coming back to save his mother and tell her how much he loved her. But then she was gone.
In his nightmares, Anakin sees himself slaying those tusken raiders. The women, the children. The shrieks that let out as his sabre sliced through them. That was rage. He remembers lying to himself, that they deserved it.
Focus Anakin, your mind is a mess.
Without knowing it, Anakin was actually hovering in the trial room. Constantly swerving around, rotating and uncontrollably hitting the walls as his senses are blurred, all whilst remaining in that cross-legged position, head down and eyes closed. The lightsaber had long disappeared.
Anakin attempts to clear his mind, focus on the force and that which brings him closer to the jedi he so eagerly wants to be. Anakin clears his mind and shifts his focus to the state of being he is in. His movement is slowed and controlled, remaining somewhat in the centre of the room, but still not completely still.
You cannot change the past, you must learn to live with it.
At his most mentally prime, Anakin feels ready. He feels worthy. He has conquered his memories.
All of a sudden, an unknown vision appears in his mind. It is one he has not seen or lived before. He is slowly exploring an ancient cave, deep in the midst of a distant planet. Lightsaber drawn, Anakin edges through the unknown. He is looking for something, but what that is he is unsure of. Anakin notices he still has the right arm that Count Dooku severed on Geonosis. Out of the walls of the cave, a hooded jedi attacks. The blood red sabre is only just defended against by the familiar guardian blue of Anakin's.
"Who are you?!" Anakin demands.
Not a word.
The figure retracts his blade and swiftly returns to the shadows.
"Reveal yourself!" Anakin shouts.
Continuing, Anakin picks up the pace. After turning a corner, Anakin sees a slender, elegant individual run off into the distance. Perplexed, Anakin chases the being, lightsaber still drawn. Two blaster shots are fired from behind him. Easily deflecting them into the walls of the cave, Anakin sees no one who could have shot them.
The hooded figure steps out from the shadows and stops Anakin in his path. With the red sabre hanging loosely towards the ground, the figure maintains its silence.
"Who are you?" Anakin repeats.
The dark figure draws his sabre to a more aggressive position.
This is only a vision, this is not real. Anakin is forgetting the trial.
The jedi attacks the padawan. Anakin is unprepared, he barely manages to protect himself from the powerful strikes of the dark jedi. Sabers locking, Anakin is face to hood with the attacker. For a brief moment, Anakin releases one hand from his saber to force back the robe of the mysterious jedi and reveal their identity.
Me?
The hood reveals none other than himself, but he seems different. Darker. His eyes are red, and the light Anakin was so used to seeing was all but gone. The lock is released and the darkness returns to the shadow, replacing his robes.
Rather than continuing through the cave, Anakin stops where he is, deactivating his weapon. He once saw Master Qui-Gon meditate, to clear his mind and focus on that which needs to be. The padawan decided to do the same.
Control your emotions. Focus.
Anakin found peace with himself. Rather than following misplaced desires, he realigned his senses, thinking back to his training. His mind returned to the temple. Fully conscious and aware of his place, Anakin found stability, hovering perfectly still in the centre of the room, sabre perfectly placed in front. This was maintained as his focus was perfectly astute. There were no temptations, no suffering. Anakin was in harmony with the force.
He was no longer a user of the force. Anakin was a channel to it.
Yoda once again approached, shortly followed by his Master Obi-Wan. Staying in the state of well-being with the force, Anakin lowered himself to the ground and stood up. Picking up his saber, he felt closer with the force, and more connected to his tool. He felt control over it.
"Well done Anakin, you've found peace and clarity within yourself." Congratulated Obi-Wan.
"Agreed. Learned not to dwell on the past, you have. One of us, you are." Master Yoda continued.
Anakin felt humble. There was much less of his impatience and greed, he felt. A certain enlightenment had been placed on the young Padawan.
Anakin's saber flew to the outstretched hand of his master. Once activated, Kenobi placed the saber ever so slightly above Anakin's shoulder, the buzz ringing in his ears. With a swift movement, the braid was severed and fell to the floor. An enormous relief had swept over Anakin. He felt liberated. The saber deactivated and Obi-Wan handed it back to Anakin.
"Anakin, you are no longer my apprentice. You are my brother."