I'm not usually overly fond of song-fics, but this has been floating around in my mind the last few days. So here it is. This is based on Missy Higgins song Where I Stood, so you should listen to that while you read, or at least read the lyrics. I had to delete the lyrics out of the story cause it's a violation of the rules of . Everywhere there is a line across the page is where there should be a section of song lyrics. Sorry this is so confusing now!

-Morrigan

I own nothing recognizable, all credit goes to JK Rowling and Missy Higgins.

"Lyra please don't do this," Theo begged.

I sighed, closing my old school trunk and turning around to sit on it. I didn't meet his eyes.

"I have to. I can't live this life anymore."

"Our life! You have responsibilities! You can't just walk away!" he shouted.

Theo never shouted. I closed my eyes against the tears.

"You don't know what it's been like for me all these years. I can't keep living in a world where I'm hated solely based on who my parents are."

"So you're just going to run away?"

"I have to."

Theo sighed and sat next to me on the trunk. "You're not your mother, Lyra."

I closed my eyes. "I know."

"Then what is this about? After all these years."

"I just…I just have to go. Something is telling me that I have to give you a shot at a better life."

He clenched his jaw. "My life is perfect with you in it."

I smiled sadly. "We both know that's not true. It will be easier for both of you with me gone."

"Theo, we've been together most of our lives. I don't know who I am without you anymore," I said, choking back the tears.

"That's bullshit, Lyra. Loads of people marry their school sweethearts," he said, rolling his eyes.

I touch my hand to his cheek. "But how many of those people have been through what we have?"

"No one could ever replace you."

I smiled. "Whoever dares to try, she'll love you more than I ever could."

"I can't bare the thought of you with anyone else," he breathed.

"I'm don't like the idea of you with another woman either, but I know that I should."

"I have to go now," I said, standing up and motioning for him to do the same.

"Do you feel like our love is wrong?" he asked suddenly. I could see in his eyes that he had wanted to ask for a while.

"I don't think love is black and white," I say, levitating my trunk and following it into the hall. "I think there is a lot of grey. I don't want to go, Theo, but I should."

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to," he said. "How many times have I told you that?"

I stopped in before our front door. "I'm torn between doing what's best for all of us and what will hurt the least."

"Don't go," he begged.

"I have to," I said again, reaching for his hand. "You won't be sad for long."

"I'm never going to get over you," he mumbled and I smiled.

"Yes you will. And she will be wonderful."

"You're the mother of my child, no one could be more wonderful than you are," he insisted.

"I won't be far," I said. "I'll be in Cardiff for a while until I have a more permanent plan. You know how to reach me."

"So that's it then?" he demanded, angry again. "You're just going to abandon our daughter like your mum abandoned you?"

I pull my hand away from his. "This isn't like that. Bellatrix went to Azkaban. I'll still be around if and when Vega needs me."

He shook his head. "Do I mean nothing to you at all?"

"You mean more to me than I could ever express. You were there for me in the worst moments of my life; you showed me how to trust myself after the war. You taught me that I was more than my last name."

"You're being selfish. We need you. I need you."

"No," I said, touching his face again. "I was always the one who needed you. Now I need to find myself. I have to do this."

I reached up on my tiptoes and kissed him softly on the lips one last time. Quickly, before I changed my mind, I turned and grab the door handle.

"I love you," I whisper as I walked through the door.