A/N: I have always wanted to write a TMNT fanfic. They are my absolute favorite American cartoon show, and I'm currently rewatching the 2003 series. I always thought I'd start with Donatello, who is my favorite turtle, but this idea popped into my head and I thought it was so perfect, I had to write it down. So, here it is. Enjoy!
Chapter 1: Babysitting, the Mutant Way
The sounds of a baby had not been heard in the Lair for many years. Grown and on the cusp of adulthood, the closest any of the turtles had come to making such noise was Michelangelo's scream of fright. Yet on this summer afternoon the Lair was full of gurgling, bubbling laughter that was the trademark of a young infant. For Master Splinter, it was a trip down memory lane.
The Joneses were two hours away from a business party, celebrating the opening of the newly created O'Neil Tech. The turtles were already well-aware of the importance of tonight's party, if their trip to the future had anything to say about it. So they had immediately agreed to watch over and take care of the Jones' eleven-month-old daughter, Agatha "Aggie" Jones, for the rest of the day. The Joneses were due to be out till late at night, which meant close to seven hours of babysitting time for the mutants.
This also meant absolutely nothing sharp, heavy, dangerous, or perishable could be left lying around, including weapons. As one could imagine, the turtles didn't sit too well with such a notion. With four pairs of mutant eyes available to watch her every move, they argued, it seemed unlikely any trouble would happen. Yet Master Splinter seemed determined to not take any chances, and with Donnie's help, as well as much debating, arguing, and (in Mikey's case) whining, the Lair was soon baby-proofed to a tolerant level.
"I really appreciate this, guys. There wasn't anybody better we could think of."
April Jones, dressed in a beautiful deep-red evening gown, wore a smile as warm as her presence as she gave Aggie to an eagerly waiting Michelangelo, who accepted her with surprising gentleness. He smiled at April. "No problem, dudette! It's our absolute pleasure!" He tickled Aggie's belly with one thick finger and smiled widely at the joyful squeal it elicited.
April picked up the duffel bag that had been set down by her husband. "Here's all her supplies. You'll find a list inside telling you what to do in case of anything. Food, towels, her favorite toys…they're all there. Our phone numbers are on the back, don't hesitate to call if anything happens. No business party is going to get in the way of my Aggie."
"I am sure it will all be fine, Ms. O'Neil," Master Splinter chuckled. Despite the fact the Joneses had been married for more than a year, Splinter had yet to adjust to April's new title. "You need not worry. We will take good care of your daughter."
Raphael walked over and took the duffel back when April offered it. He suppressed a grunt. "Man, what kinda toys d'ya got in here? Cement blocks?"
"Aww, what's the matter, Raphie? April can lug around a bag full of baby stuff but you wimp out? Guess all that weight lifting never cut it." Mikey laughed and moved his tickling to Aggie's feet. Aggie giggled and clapped her hands, as if in agreement.
"Shaddup. If you think it's so easy, you can take it," Raphael growled, hefting the bag over his shoulder.
"Nu-uh, dude! I got baby-holding privileges. And we all know which turtle Aggie likes best." Mikey shifted Aggie so that she was facing him and stared her straight in the eye. "Huh? Who's your favorite uncle turtle, Aggie?" he asked, pointing obviously to himself. "Huh? C'mon, who's your favorite?"
Aggie's face split into a grin, showing two teeth. "Waff!" she said proudly.
As Mikey's face slackened into shock, his three brothers laughed heartily. "Not the answer you were expectin', eh, Mikey?" Raphael grinned smugly.
"I don't think it was the answer any of us were expecting," Leonardo teased.
From besides the Battleshell, Donatello hid a grin, pretending to straighten his coat. As the co-founder of O'Neil Tech and the inventor of most of its patented objects, it was agreed he would make a very brief appearance at the party for business purposes. By some great fortune, the party was a masquerade, and Donnie felt no need to bring a fedora.
"Shut up! She probably just got our masks confused or something." Mikey held Aggie protectively, as if Raphael might drop his load and snatch her from his grip.
Raphael just chuckled and made his way to the kitchen.
Donatello snickered, breaking his composure at last. "Then again, we all have to wonder exactly what it is about Raph that Aggie would find so endearing, especially over Mikey here."
"Shut up, ya sh—!"
"Raphael!"
"—shellhead." Raphael poked his head into the doorway to the kitchen. "Sorry, Sensei."
Ever since Aggie had been born, Master Splinter had made it his business to censor the casual-mouthed turtle on a daily basis, in the event Aggie ever made an appearance. This had been the cause of some amusement as of late to his brothers, who on occasion took advantage of Raphael's recent inability to curse.
Casey poked his head from inside the Battleshell. "Yo, April, we gotta go!" he called. At that, Donnie removed himself from his stance and climbed into the driver's seat.
"Oh, my God. Okay. Thank you all so much again." April dashed to Mikey and Aggie to give her daughter one last peck on the head. "Oh, you be a good girl for Mommy's friends, okay, Aggie? Mommy'll be back soon." She ran to join her husband, turning back to give one last wave. "Wish us luck, guys!"
"Good luck!" the remaining turtles chorused, all waving in turn.
"Don't forget to park somewhere inconspicuous!" Leo called.
"Come on, Leo, who do you think you're talking to?" Donnie grinned.
"The shellhead who's pretending to wear his head as a mask," Leo retorted.
Donnie saluted and started the car.
"We'll be back around eleven, eleven-thirty. Bye!"
The Battleshell roared to life. Far from being frightened, Aggie screamed in delight and clapped her hands at the noise. The front door opened as Donnie drove towards it and into the sewers beyond. With a final thud of metal, he three were gone.
As soon as the door closed, Mikey grinned, swinging Aggie around in both arms. "Yahoo! Now we can have some real fun!"
Aggie squealed and kicked her feet in the air. Laughing, Mikey took off around the lair, holding her with her limbs splayed out. Together, they ran up the stairs and across the walkways.
"Bbbbbrrrrrrr, Kkkscchhhh, Aggie Thunderbolt II, you are cleared for takeoff. Nnnnyaowwwwww!"
"Be gentle with her, Michelangelo," Master Splinter admonished, following Michelangelo's every move with watchful eyes. "A child is a fragile thing, not one to be swung around as your nunchakus."
"I'll take care of it, Master Splinter," Raphael said as he came into the living room. A scowl deepened into his face as Mikey's raucous laughter rang out once again, and he set off for the stairs at a quick pace. Soon after he disappeared to the second level Splinter heard his trademark growl and Mikey's subsequent yelp of fear, and the walkway began to rattle with their running footsteps. All the while, Aggie was squealing in laughter.
Master Splinter shook his head, turning instead to his eldest son, who had taken a spot on the floor to meditate. He struggled to keep back a smile as he saw Leonardo's shoulders tense with every shout or scream. His eyes caught a loose pebble on the floor, and silently he picked it up. With a sharp flick of his wrist, he sent the projectile speeding towards his son's head.
Master Splinter's eyebrows furrowed at the small cry of pain that followed. "What the—?" Leonardo whirled around, eyes narrowed to catch the culprit (no doubt prepared for Mikey), but widened them in horror and confusion as they fell instead upon his teacher.
Master Splinter rose from his position and walked over to his son, who unfolded himself from his lotus position and sat more casually, shoulders slumped and head angled downwards. He looked quite depressed.
Splinter smiled, despite himself. "Perhaps meditation would be better achieved in a better-suited environment, my son. The dojo would be less irritating," he suggested gently, placing a paw on Leonardo's shoulder.
Leo shifted so that he faced his master. "That's actually the point, Sensei. I'm trying to increase my awareness in an environment full of noise. Outside, there are tons of distractions, and I've been training myself to be able to think normally under any circumstance." He sighed. "Normally, I can relax my mind without a problem, but for some reason I'm having trouble today."
Master Splinter chuckled knowingly. "You miss the obvious, my son." When Leonardo looked at him in confusion, he continued. "What has changed today from your usual meditative environment?"
Leo frowned. "Aggie, but I didn't think she was that distracting…"
"You would be surprised just how annoying a child's crying can be," Splinter grumbled, settling down besides his son.
"Were we really that bad?" Leo asked with a wry grin.
"You have no idea. I missed an entire month of meditation once before I learned how to quiet you. All four of you had different methods of being comforted." Master Splinter laughed nostalgically. "And you, who are inexperienced with being around a child, are much more susceptible to the noises a child makes. As it is, I would suggest you take a break from meditating today and instead try to enjoy the rest of the evening."
"I see your point." Leo sighed, then got up for the remote. "Might as well see if there's anything good on."
Master Splinter's eyes widened on the seventh channel Leo flicked through. "Ooh, stop it here, my son! They appear to be having a marathon of Brother of my Brother."
Leo groaned inwardly as his father settled into a rare night of seven hours straight of stories.
One hour later…
"Open the hangar, here comes the plaaaaaaaane!"
Aggie laughed loudly at Michelangelo's high pitched voice, and at the opportunity, the ninja turtle slipped the spoonful of baby food into her mouth. Nearly half managed to stay; the rest dribbled down her chin. Unperturbed, Mikey caught the greenish mush with the spoon and returned it to her mouth. "Nice try, little dude, but you ain't getting out of eating your greens so easily," he grinned.
From behind him, Raphael leaned casually against the doorframe, watching with disbelieving eyes.
"Adorable, isn't it?"
Raph gave Leo an acknowledging nod as he approached. "Who'd think that Mikey knew so much about kids?" he muttered, not taking his eyes off Michelangelo.
Leonardo chuckled. "Think about how well he takes care of Klunk," he reminded. "If any of us know how to care for a child, it's Mikey."
"A kitten ain't the same as a kid, Leo."
"Even so…"
Mikey scraped the last of the baby food out of the jar and managed to get Aggie to swallow at least most of it. Unhooking her disposable bib, he wadded up and threw the stained cloth over his shoulder into the trash bin behind him. "Bath time!" he said brightly, picking Aggie up. He laid her gently across his shoulder and patted her back.
Leo furrowed his eye ridges. "Maybe he got some tips from Sensei or something…"
"Or maybe I'm just a naturally good parent!" Mikey turned around, acknowledging the pair at last. A smile spread across his beak as Aggie gave a rather impressive belch, and he held her out at arm's length. "That's my girl!" he beamed.
"She ain't yours, Mikey," Raph growled.
"Shh, she might develop niece issues," Mikey whispered worriedly, holding Aggie close.
"Aside from the ones she already has from bein' around you all day?" Raph snorted.
"Excuse me?!" Mikey squawked. Putting Aggie on one hip, he pulled a pouting look. "I take offense to that." He marched past the pair in a huff, snout pointed straight up in the air, ignoring the raised eye-ridges his brothers were giving him.
Raph scoffed. "Drama queen," he muttered under his breath.
Two hours later…
"Y'know, a kid's giggles sounds cute up t'the point where it starts ta annoy ya," Raphael said quietly.
Leo cast a subtle glance at his brother. Though Raph's voice had been even and calm, Leo had easily detected the danger beneath the tone. Sure enough, the second-eldest brother was sitting hunched in the armchair, one fist to his temple and his other three fingers drumming steadily against the chair arm.
"I think she might be ready for bed, Mikey," Leo called lightly.
No answer, except for another loud squeal of happiness.
Leo sent a worried look at the front door. "I hope Donnie's okay. He was supposed to make only a brief appearance at the party…"
"Not to worry, Leonardo," Master Splinter called from the couch. The TV was muted during a commercial, and the aged rat took the time to hold up his shell cell. "Your brother texted me about twenty minutes ago. He said the ruse of a mechanical mask was far more believable than he had thought, and he had become caught up in some conversations discussing the mechanics of a movable mask."
"Typical," Raphael grumbled.
"Well, as long as he's not in trouble." Leo yawned, then got up and looked around the corner, where Mikey and Aggie were playing with a few of her baby toys. To his amazement, neither looked the slightest bit worn down.
How Mikey manages to generate that much energy is beyond me. If Donnie looked into it, he might find some way to hook him up to power our TV or something.
The leader of the turtles was then struck with a sudden image of Mikey playing video games, only instead of wires connecting from the game station to the wall, they were stuck all over his body.
Immediately he shook the image away. Guess that's my cue for bed, or at least to stop watching soap operas, he told himself.
"Mikey, it's 10:30. I think she should be getting to bed now."
"That might be a problem, Your Honor," Mikey admitted.
The baby looked as jovial as the hour she arrived, with no sign that she was ready for rest. Leo kept back a groan. The night seemed farther from ending than ever. He certainly wouldn't be able to sleep with Aggie's laughter echoing through the Lair.
"Can't you do something about it?" Leo pleaded.
Mikey set down the blocks he was holding, and leaned forward to pick up Aggie, getting to his feet with his trademark smile plastered on his beak. "No problemo, El Capitan! I have a solution!"
"Good." Leo sighed, then yawned again. "I need to get some rest."
Mikey laughed. "Aww, Papa Leo needs some shut-eye from the baby time. It's okay Leo, new parents always wear out easily early on."
"Please never call me that again," Leo muttered. "I don't think I'm ready to start thinking about that just yet."
"Don't worry, Leo. I'm sure some day, if the Turtle gods are extremely favorable towards us, you'll make a great dad!" Mikey patted his brother's shoulder as he walked past him.
"Now that's a scary thought," Raph commented.
"Shut up," Leo retorted.
Michelangelo carried Aggie across the Lair, away from the others, to the quietest part of their home, bouncing the baby in his hold all the way. "They say this kinda stuff is supposed to help babies go to sleep, but they must not have tried it themselves, 'cause you are not getting anywhere close to tired," Mikey grumbled.
He set her down in her makeshift crib Donnie had built a couple months before. Mikey had taken the liberty to decorate it in every manner he thought appropriate, with pictures, hanging toys, and even a few stuffed animals, donated from his own childhood, to line her bedding.
Aggie immediately began to explore her new residency. Not yet able to walk, she settled for crawling the length and breadth of the crib, examining every nook and cranny as if to ensure Donnie had performed satisfactorily. Finally, she reached for the edge and pulled herself into a standing position, grinning toothily (or gummily) at Mikey.
"Ya like it, huh, little dudette? That's good, cause Donnie spent a whole lot of time on that just for you," Mikey smiled.
Aggie cooed in agreement.
Mikey drew up his favorite sitting chair (the one he always used when reading comics) and settled in next to his niece. "Well, since the usual methods for getting you to sleep aren't working, I have one last trick up my sleeves—I mean, wrist guards. Y'see, Aggie, I was like you when I was a little kid! I always wanted to play. In fact, I still do." He sniggered. "Gets on Raph's nerves a lot. Well, I try, anyways. Heh." He returned his attention to Aggie. "But, Master Splinter had a secret. Whenever it was bedtime and I wouldn't go to sleep, Master Splinter would take me up to my room and sit there with me, just like I'm doing now! And then he'd tell me a story."
Mikey smiled nostalgically. "Man, his stories were the greatest! Awesome battles of the ninja of Japan, myths of the gods and ancient beings, even stories about turtles! Well, those last ones were actually more for teaching me a lesson if I did anything wrong. Especially that one with the bunny…Anyways, every time he told me a story, I couldn't wait to go to bed, cause then I'd always have the most amazing dreams ever!"
Mikey stared Aggie straight in the eye, who was still gripping the side of the crib tightly as she wobbled where she stood, her grin as wide as ever. "So that's exactly what I'm going to do! I'm going to give you the best and most awesome dreams you ever had!"
Mikey shifted into a more comfortable position. "You might want to get comfortable. This story could take a while…"
As if in response, Aggie fell back on her rump with a fwump, staring up at Mikey expectantly.
"Okey dokey, little dudette. Here we go…"
Disclaimer: I won't get fancy with my TMNT disclaimers, unless y'all want me to. That's for my Yugioh fanfics. At least for now.
Yup, you guessed it. No matter how much I wish I did, I don't own TMNT.