Three days after Elsa returned to Arendelle, Anna knocked on her door. Elsa's first reaction was to ignore it as always. She stared at her side of the door and imagined Anna at every age standing outside knocking away begging to build a snowman, or play dolls, or ride bikes, or just sit and talk, anything just to be able to see Elsa's face. But that time was over now, Anna knew, Anna was safe, the magic was under control as long as Elsa replaced all her fear with love.
"It's open," Elsa called from her chaise in front of the fireplace.
She shuffled through paperwork she'd brought from her office, edicts, and would-be laws, and several drafts of her letters of apology to nearly every person who was at her coronation party. The pile exploded however when Anna burst in and landed practically on top of Elsa.
"No! No work tonight," Anna ordered, gently shoving what was left of the papers onto the floor.
"Excuse me?"
"You're not doing any official things tonight. For right now you're not the queen," Anna said.
"I'm always the queen," Elsa said, bending down to straighten the mess on her floor.
"Well tonight you're a queen who has nothing to do," Anna said.
"And why is that?"
"Because we're having a sleepover?"
Elsa's face deadpanned. She stopped shuffling her papers and looked back at Anna's bright and face with a raised eyebrow.
"A sleepover? Anna we've slept in the same castle our entire lives. Every night is a 'sleepover'," Elsa said.
Anna shook her head and dragged Elsa to her feet by her arm. She pulled over to the bed and sat down cross-legged, gestured for her sister to do the same, and then took Elsa's hands.
"No, a real proper sleepover. We haven't had one since we shared a room. Don't you remember how we'd secretly stay up late and sneak out?" Anna giggled.
"I remember you sitting on me until I woke up," Elsa said, "Among other things…"
The silver streak was no longer in Anna's hair but the ghost of it was always there to Elsa. With her eyes closed she could remember that night in vivid, awful detail that she wished she could forget. She remembered exactly how small Anna's shaking body felt against her own as she held her. She could hear the whimpers Anna made. She could see the split second look of betrayal on Anna's face before she passed out. Somehow the magic that preceded the pain didn't survive in her memory.
"We're gonna have fun. You owe me Elsa," Anna said, "Thirteen years of fun. Starting right now."
Elsa smiled
They made hot chocolate. They had a pillow fight. Elsa told Anna about all the places in the castle that were haunted no matter how much Anna insisted Elsa was lying. Elsa coaxed out of a blushing Anna what exactly nature of her relationship with the ice harvester was. Anna even tried on a few of Elsa's gowns.
"Can you do the magic?" Anna asked.
And that was finally where Elsa paused at one in the morning. Anna's face was innocent and light but Elsa's heart turned to lead and her stomach turned to knotted rope. She saw again her sister at age five crying and shaking and unconscious as if it was before her eyes. Elsa got up and walked over to the balcony. She opened the doors and stepped out.
"Elsa?" Anna called behind her, following her out. "Did I say something?"
"You used to ask me that all the time…" Elsa said. She looked out at the fjord, glassy in the night shining the moonlight right back into the sky making the stars hard to spot. There was a haze of firelight coming from the town below dissipating into the backdrop of the mountains.
"Elsa…"
And Anna understood. She wrapped her arms around Elsa's middle and hugged her from behind. She felt Anna's head burying into her back and could feel a patch of humidity that must be Anna's breath against her body.
"I know you're still scared. But I told you, you don't have to be anymore," Anna's muffled voice said from behind her. "I saw you thaw the winter, the powers are under control. You haven't worn your gloves in days. And I'm okay/"
Elsa agreed but at the same time didn't. The powers hadn't flared, but that didn't mean they wouldn't. The trolls told her the powers would grow but never told her when that stopped. And in her most secret nightmares Elsa still feared one day being consumed by it. A mortal body could only keep so much magic at bay. She was a vessel for a growing fire. One day it would demand more space and Elsa would break.
"How did you thaw the fjord?" Anna asked. She stood up on her tiptoes to rest her chin on Elsa's shoulder.
"I thought about love," Elsa said, "Olaf said love would thaw a frozen heart. I figured it could thaw the fjord too. So I pictured the thing I loved most."
"And what was that? What did you see?" Anna asked truly curious. Elsa smiled wide. Didn't she guess by now?
"Your face."
Anna released her grip and stepped back from Elsa's shoulder. Next thing Elsa knew she was being attacked from the side by Anna who gripped her tighter than Elsa would have thought possible. She finagled herself enough room to turn and hug Anna back properly. Her arms closed over her sister's smaller form and she rested her chin atop Anna's strawberry blonde head. She felt fingers clutching in the fabric of her dressing gown.
"I love you," Anna whispered into her chest.
Elsa smiled and kissed the top of Anna's head.
"I love you too."
They stayed that way for a while. Anna seemed comfortable nuzzled into Elsa and she wasn't about to disturb her, though her legs were starting to go numb from the pressure of both standing and supporting Anna's weight.
"Whenever you get scared or stressed," Anna said, pulling away and whipping her nose with her sleeve, "Just think of my face."
"It's my strongest memory."
Anna hugged her again, but released quickly. She pulled Elsa's hands from their grip around her torso and led her back inside.
"Did you ever think of opening the door?" Anna asked. Her tone became light again, even in the heavy subject matter. Elsa sensed that was her way of avoiding bursting into tears.
"I always thought of opening the door. But…I could be your friend…or your protector. Never both. But always your sister."
Anna's eyes were glassy as they stared right into Elsa's. She refused to look away no matter how much it felt like burning, watching Anna watch her. She owed Anna this much at least.
"It hurt you too, then. It did hurt you. I knew it did," Anna said. She was barely containing her voice as it jumped in octaves, fighting itself.
"I think it hurt me more," Elsa admitted.
"How?"
"Because I'm the one who had to choose to keep it closed."
Elsa's voice was beginning to break in the same way. A layer of frosted covered her fingertips involuntarily. She lifted her hand, turning it in front of her examining it as a tear finally came out. Anna's hands came over her hands and the frost quickly melted.
"I guess love is a closed door sometimes," Anna mumbled.
"Huh?"
"Nothing, just something I was….never mind."
The mood slowly lightened when Elsa finally puffed a pocket of frosty air in Anna's direction. The frost clung to her hair and Anna shook her head, sending the droplets flying. Elsa then cupped the air and inches above her hand a snowball formed.
"I might graduate to ice sculptures next," Elsa said looking at the perfectly formed snowball.
"I don't know Elsie, your snowmen leave something to be desired. Olaf isn't exactly put together," Anna laughed.
Elsa rolled her eyes and tossed the snowball right in Anna's face and then laughed as she scrambled to clear her head of snow. Anna's next move was to dive at Elsa, knocking her on the bed. Anna bounced on top of her and take a pillow to her head. Elsa laughed, covering her face in preparation for the assault.
They weren't sure exactly when they fell asleep. But all Elsa knew was that she woke up just after dawn to an apricot sky with Anna sprawled out sideways on the bed, stomach down, with her head pillowed on Elsa's own stomach, both their hands touching as if they'd fallen sleeping holding them.
Elsa blinked slowly and sluggishly watching Anna's head rise and fall with every breath she took. She smiled, allowing herself to drift back to sleep.