Lyrical Melodrama Story Contest

Name of Story: Sober

Pen Name: Corinne 22

Song story is inspired by: Sober

Artist: Tool

Category: Newbie

Main pairing: Bella and Edward

POV: Bella and Edward

*******

There's a shadow just behind me,
shrouding every step I take,
making every promise empty,
pointing every finger at me.
Waiting like a stalking butler
who upon the finger rests.
Murder now the pattern must we,
just because the son has come?
Jesus, won't you fucking whistle
something but the past and done?
Jesus, wont you fucking whistle
something but the past endured?

Why can't we not be sober?
I Just want to start this over.
And why can't we drink forever?
I just want to start this over.

I am just a worthless liar.
I am just an imbecile.
I will only complicate you.
Trust in me and fall as well.
I will find a center in you.
I will chew it up and leave,
I will work to elevate you
just enough to bring you down

Mother Mary won't you whisper
something but what's past and done.
Mother Mary won't you whisper
something but what's past and done.

Why can't we not be sober?
I Just want to start this over.
Ah, why can't we sleep forever?
I just want to start this over.

I am just a worthless liar.
I am just an imbecile.
I will only complicate you.
Trust in me and fall as well.
I will find a center in you.
I will chew it up and leave,
Trust me, trust me, trust me,
trust me, and trust me

Why can't we not be sober?
Just want to start this over.
Why can't we sleep forever?
Just want to start this over.

I want what I want, I want what
I want, I want what I want, I want
what I want

Disclaimer: SM owns all character and Tool owns the song, along with my soul :) lol

Go to: www(dot)thewriterscoffeeshop(dot)com for all other entries please :)

Edward POV

***

I'm not a great person. Hell, maybe I'm not even a good person. I don't donate money. I don't contribute to society. I just do my own thing and sit on my ass. I don't even know if I can be considered as a good son or a good brother anymore. I just know what I feel. And, what I feel right now is pretty fucking great.

The walls seem to pulse with my heartbeat. Which, I had to admit, was not going at it's normal rate. But that was normal. I had popped a few xanax pills about two hours, maybe three hours ago. Who really cares about the logistics of time. I followed it with a couple of shots of vodka an hour ago. Maybe it's not so smart to mix the two. But, I don't care. Whatever gets my head to shut up. Whatever makes the world float away or seem better, I'll do it.

My parents make decent money. We never go without anything we need. But, I don't need their money to support my habit anymore. I get it all for free. The nice Chief Swan helps me out with that. If Bella only knew what her father's dark side could do. I guess we all have a dark side, though. Deep secrets. Something that we don't want anyone to know.

He was in for a rude awakening the day I walked in on him, though. I was in the right place at the right time. He was doing the right thing at the wrong time. That was the beginning of the bribery and, therefore, my needs being met with no complaint.

It was always random things. Whatever he could find from a drug bust and stash away. You'd be surprised how many people in a small town like Forks do drugs. I guess we all share the common need to get away from this town. To get away from boredom. Most of them just do it at night or for recreation. I, on the other hand, lived for it. I think if it wasn't for my ability to drown into the fuzzy effects of the drugs then I would've been gone a long time ago. I'm just biding my time until I can leave. I can quit whenever I'm able to leave this town. It's no big deal.

If it wasn't for that lucky day of seeing Chief Swan bent over a table, snorting up coke while having a bloody man laying at his feet, then I wouldn't be in my pleasant inebriated state. I didn't question him on the hows or the whys. I just took it upon myself to hold that information and use it to my advantage. He didn't want his daughter finding out about it and I couldn't blame him. The thought of daddy dearest, the only person that she has to hold on to, being a coke head? Yeah, that wouldn't go over too well.

Bella was the quiet type. The kind of girl that seemed like a goody two shoes. The kind who would never speak an unkind word or even know what coke was it if was right underneath her nose. The kind of person who was the complete opposite of me.

I was still in love with her, though.

She had become friends with my sister, Alice, her freshman year of high school. They were also complete opposites, so it never made much sense to me. Alice was, basically, her only friend though. She was over at my house often. I loved knowing that I was in the same area as her but it also caused me great pain to know what I could never do. A reminder of what I could never have. She was too pure, too kind. I would mess that up in a heartbeat. I didn't want to drag her down with me into my depression and drugs. I loved her enough to stay away. To harbor all of the pain and keep it to myself so she would never have to feel it for herself.

As I laid on the floor, staring up at the ceiling, I was very aware of the fact that this wonderful person was in the next room. Divided by only a wall. I could hear their giggling and murmurs of their voices. I wondered what it was that could bring that sweet sound of her laughter to surface. I wondered if I could ever be the one to give that to her. But then I quickly remembered that I couldn't. I needed to stay away.

My breath came out in a huge huff into the silence of the room. I needed to be more fucked up. I couldn't handle things anymore lately. It made it even worse knowing that she was only feet away. My chest ached and I yearned for her. I'm sure that if she knew what kind of thoughts about her ran through my head then she wouldn't ever step foot in this house again. She wouldn't sit across from me in the lunchroom at school. She wouldn't try to make me talk to her by saying hello every day with her beautiful timid smile in our biology class.

I used to be able to chase thoughts of her away. But now they seeped through, no matter how many drugs I took. No matter what it was that I polluted into my system.

I decided I should take another xanax, hoping that it would help me chase thoughts of her face away. The face that I could never hold. The face that I could never kiss. The face that I could never make smile or giggle like Alice could.

My feet felt sluggish, my hands already feeling numb, as I sorted through my hidden stash of goodies for the pill bottle. I had to squint through my blurry eyesight and half opened eyelids. I was numb and already tired but thoughts would not stop coming through. Visions of my wishes flashing through my mind. Like a playback of a movie about things to always torture me.

The lid was a pain in the ass to try to open. Damn child lock bullshit. I had to use all concentration just to open the damn thing. I became vaguely aware of my hands shaking as I placed the bottle back into my little spot. The place that has become my own personal heaven. I wasn't religious at all. I didn't believe in a God. If there was a God, then why would he put me through this hell and mock me. But, if there was such a thing as heaven, then I'm sure that what I now held in my hand was the way to get there.

The pill fit so nicely placed against my tongue. I let it soften up a bit before I crushed it in between my teeth, reveling in the bitter taste that I knew so well. Many people hated this taste. I loved it because I knew what it meant it could bring.

I dragged my feet over to my bed and fell backwards with a solid thud. My arms were laid out across the emptiness of my bed, my legs were limp and felt heavy against the mattress. I blinked my eyes slowly a few times before I closed them. I could hear her laughter coming through the wall again. My head just inches away from the wall that she was probably leaning against. I let the heavy feeling take me over as I heard her laugh one more time and imagined her laughing as we laid in this bed together.

I take back the thought of drugs as my heaven. That would surely be my heaven.

Bella POV

***

Alice always knew how to make me laugh. We were best friends after all, so she knew every little thing about me. Well, almost. She knew everything, except for my growing feelings about her brother. If she knew anything about that then she would kill me. She always complained about him. She was upset about how withdrawn he had become and believed that he was taking drugs. When I would ask why she thought this, her reply would always be, "Bella, I'm not stupid.". Which was always followed by an eye roll and a look.

I don't know, he was a little odd. His eyes did seem red sometimes and had dark circles under them. But that kind of made me want to talk to him even more. The man I was starting to believe that I love needed my help. But I had no way of knowing how to do it. I would look up signs of drug use on the internet and try to find out the facts. I have spent way too many hours looking.

But facts only got me so far when I couldn't even talk to him. All that I could cleverly come up with was a greeting of hello, but my mind froze on any other words. I wanted to talk to him, to hold him. I wanted him to know that he wasn't alone. I wanted to be able to tell him how I have felt for years in the most eloquent words that would make him crumble and accept me. But he was always so distant. So far away that I could never touch him. He never let anyone in so why would I be the chosen one? I was just a little girl, with no life, who knew of nothing.

Alice was going on about how a guy that she had a crush on named Jasper. She was throwing on slutty outfits and dry humping the air, pretending like she was slapping his imaginary ass. I continued to laugh at her immature antics, trying to hide the fact that I wished I was somewhere else right now. Another room over, maybe.

"And then he'd be like, 'Oh yes, Alice, you tap my ass so well! Don't ever stop!'. And then I would just give it to him so hard that he would never think of anyone else ever again and he would be my sex slave for life," she said while finally flopping on the bed in a fit of laughter.

I pushed her off the bed with my feet as she continued to laugh on the floor.

"I think you have way too many hormones raging through you. I need to go get you spayed."

"Ugh. When it comes to Jasper, yes. That man does so many things to my insides that it's not even funny," she said as her head popped up onto the mattress.

"Glad I can't relate," I replied while pushing harder into the wall.

She crossed her arms and laid her chin on them. Her eyes seemed to stare harder onto my face.

"I don't know, Bella. It's kind of fun getting all excited about someone. Trying to be close to him, trying to get him to notice you, the whole thrill of the chase. Don't tell me you've never felt that way before."

"Yeah, but what about the heartbreak? What about how you feel when you notice that he doesn't want you back? How exciting does it feel then?" I asked while curling my knees up to my chest.

Alice reached across her bed and nudged my foot with one of her hands. "Are you sure you're not speaking from personal experience?"

I quickly looked away from her stare and laid down on my side, propping my head up with my hand.

"No," I said while picking at a string on her blanket. "I'm just saying. I mean, not everything is a happy ending and a fairytale."

She gave a hard look at my face for a moment before she sighed and pushed herself up to stand.

"Ok," she said in a much more chipper voice. She was obviously trying to change the subject. "What outfit should I wear tomorrow for school to dazzle the poor man?"

She started to wiggle her eyebrows while grabbing her boobs to give herself cleavage. I couldn't help but laugh at her some more. She was crazy but I loved her.

I continued to giggle at her attempts of putting together the "must make Jasper fall to his knees" outfit. I tried not to remember who was on the other side of the wall that my back was pushing against so hard. I tried not to think of the green eyes that belonged to that person.

I tried, but I failed.

Edward POV

***

I woke up to the dimming light, the sun already setting. I must have slept through the whole day, again. I'm surprised my parents didn't wake me up this time. My dad normally kicked my butt out of bed if I wasn't awake by noon. I could see the disappointment growing behind his eyes every day. I knew what I put him through, but I wasn't willing to stop it. He didn't understand the pain I felt. He had his happy little life of social events and fake little smiles with handshakes. I wanted none of that.

He had visions of me becoming a doctor, just like him. Follow the family destiny. But his hopes were crushed with every report card that had come home. I think he had officially given up on me. I had already given up on me too, so it came as no surprise. I had to admit that it hurt a little to see his admiration of Alice and then quick hopelessness of mine. But, what can I do?

I strained to hear any signs of Bella, but no murmur of her voice came through the walls. I worried that she decided to already leave and I wouldn't get to see her face today. Maybe I shouldn't have taken so much xanax last night. Then I would have been able to wake up in enough time to see her leave. To hide behind my curtains and sneak a peek out of my bedroom window of her hopping into Chief Swan's vehicle.

I pushed my heavy limbs off of my bed and dragged my feet to the bathroom to take the longest piss of my life. Dad's money let me have the luxury of my own bathroom in my bedroom. I resented the man, but it didn't mean I couldn't enjoy the luxuries of his money.

I walked downstairs, firmly holding on to the railing for support. My legs still felt heavy and my mind a bit out of it. My body and mind moved in slow motion, at least that's the way it felt to me.

Smells of food drifted up to me, making me nauseous and hungry at the same time. I haven't eaten in probably three days, but I didn't feel as hungry as I should.

Bella's voice drifted up to me as I reached half way down the stairs. My hand grasped the stair rail harder and I stopped to brace myself to see her. The thoughts of having to be around her sobered me up slightly more.

I heard the angelic sound of her laughter echo off the walls of the hallway and briefly smiled to myself.

"Excuse me."

I was snapped out of my thoughts as I heard Bella's voice a lot closer then I expected. She was standing two steps below me, looking at her feet as I blocked her way to go upstairs.

I quickly moved to the right, giving her room as I pressed my back to the wall. Her eyes briefly flashed to mine as she gave me a tiny smile and then made her way up to Alice's room. I wanted to reach my hand out and stop her. The energy I felt between us was palpable. I wondered if she felt it too. Or if I was the only sick fuck who was pining away.

But, it didn't matter. I needed to keep reminding myself that I could never act out on these feelings. Time was making it harder, not easier. Whoever it was that said time heals all wounds was full of shit. Just a lie concocted to make poor saps believe it would all get better. Unfortunatley, I wasn't one of those lucky poor saps. I felt the pain every day.

Without thinking I ran back upstairs to my room and went for my secret stash. As I reached in for the bottle of xanax my hands were shaking again. But for a totally different reason then why it was last night.

I instantly chewed it and swallowed. I stood for a moment, clutching the bottle in my wavering hand and decided on taking another before I replaced the cap. Just for precaution, since I knew that Bella still being here meant that she would be staying for dinner.

Bella POV

***

I sat across from Edward at the Cullen dinner table. Everything was so fancy and perfectly placed on the table. Designer dishes, expensive cloth table cover and fresh cut flowers in the middle of the table.

A big difference from my dinners at home. Most of the nights I sat alone at our bare kitchen table, doing my homework, while my dad, Charlie sat in front of the television. We had a quiet kind of relationship, which was fine by me, but sometimes I wished for something more. Like how Carlisle would openly talk to us during the meal or ask his kids about their day. I wanted that kind of interest in me from my own father.

I ate in small bites as I took glances at Edward through my eyelashes. He was staring down at his plate, pushing his food around with the tip of his fork. Every now and then it would make a little scrapping noise against the fine china and would send shivers up my spine.

"Edward, could you please refrain from doing that?" Carlisle asked in a stern voice while almost glaring at his son.

I was shocked by Carlisle's reaction. I had never seen him being even remotely rude to either one of his children.

I noticed Edward's shoulders stiffen and his jaw become tense. He jabbed a piece of his steak on the fork and shoved it in his mouth as he continued to stare at his plate, never looking up at Carlisle. My fingers twitched around my napkin as I fought the need to reach over the table and touch his hand out of comfort. My own jaw clenched as I tried not to speak in his defense. I was feeling very protective of him and it bothered me that I couldn't do anything about it.

Carlisle chose to ignore his son as he clapped his hands together and said, "So, who's up for some dessert? We picked up some really good cake on the way home from the benefit we just went to. The caterer that was there suggested the place."

Everybody else agreed, nodding their heads as they spoke of their approval.

I stared at Edward as he pushed his plate away and quietly excused himself to go back up to his room. I watched as he practically ran up the stairs, his head down and shoulders hunched.

***

Charlie told me that I could spend the night with Alice again. If I couldn't read him well enough to know that he truly did love me then I would have questioned it by the amount of time that he allowed me to stay over here. I wondered what he did on his time off when I wasn't at home. I need to do something special for him soon. Show him a life that existed beyond that couch of his and show him how much I care. I worried that he worked too much. His eyes were red sometimes, from his lack of sleep, I supposed. I'm sure looking at all of those files at work didn't seem to help either.

I didn't see Edward for the rest of the night.

Alice and I went back to her bedroom to get ready for bed after we helped her parents clean up all of the dishes. I took the side of the bed against the wall, as usual. Alice thought that it made me feel more secure or safe to be closed in like that. I just really wanted to be two feet closer to where I knew Edward was sleeping.

I closed my eyes from the darkness of the room, feeling Alice's shallow breathing on one side and hearing the small thump of music coming from Edward's room on the other side. I turned to face the wall and placed my palm against it before I drifted off to sleep.

***

Alice and I drove to school in her car, with Edward leaving right behind us in his. My eyes kept darting to the side mirror of the car, continuously checking to see if he was ok. I couldn't explain why I kept wanting to be sure of his safety. I just knew that it kept growing. Maybe it was the sad, lost look in his eyes. Maybe it was the way that it seemed that nobody understood him. It was becoming harder to fight off.

We parked at the school, Edward parking to the right of us, as usual. I opened the car door right as Edward started to extend his and we almost slammed the doors into each other. I quickly jerked mine back, pinning myself against the car.

"I'm sorry!" I blurted out.

He stood, holding the corner of his car door and stared into my eyes. He rarely looked up at me, let alone straight into my eyes. I was frozen, lost in the intense gaze of his and the pain that I could see written behind the piercing green. We stood, lost in the passing minutes, looking at each other, until Alice came over to my side. Him with a look of wonder and confusion. Me with complete amazement at his actions.

"Are you going to let the poor woman through, Edward? Jesus, you would think you don't have any manners. You have her pinned up against my car, you idiot."

I cringed at her harsh words as I studied Edward's face. His eyes swiftly went away from mine as he shut his door, gave me a small nod of his head and quietly walked away. I watched his retreating back as he kept his head down towards the ground and walked to the school.

"You didn't have to be so rude, Alice," I nearly hissed at her as I continued to watch him walk away.

She grabbed my arm and moved me from the car, shutting the door behind me. "Well, that was just rude. Just because he walks around acting weird and being a druggie, that doesn't give him the right to be that way to you."

"He didn't do anything," I sighed out as I pushed past her and walked towards school.

"Ok, ok...I don't know why you're defending him, but whatever. I mean, seriously, he's got some fucking problems," she replied as she ran up to my side.

My head whipped around to hers and without thinking I blurted out, "God Alice, lay the fuck off of him."

Her feet paused on the pavement as she stared at me with wide eyes. I turned away from her and continued to walk to my first class.

We walked in silence, the morning already causing an uncomfortable feeling between us. We had never fought before, but I found myself actually wanting to hit her for once. I was tired of her attitude towards her own brother. It still made me feel sad that we had a small fight, but enough was enough.

We sat together in first period in continued silence, instead of our normal banter and joking around. We gave each other a small smile as we parted after class, but no words were spoken.

The next three classes I had by myself and I found my thoughts coming back to Edward, no matter how hard I tried to concentrate on the teacher's droning voices. He made my palms sweat, my head feel fuzzy and my heart feel so lost. I was becoming angry at myself for having a man that I have rarely spoken to, affect me this much. But I felt like we had a connection somehow. He was nothing like me, but I felt a pull to be wherever he was.

Lunch came and Alice and I sat next to each other, yet still not really speaking to one another. Part of me wanted to apologize so that we could be better, but I didn't really feel sorry. I felt that if I apologized then, in a way, it would be like betraying Edward.

She was mostly turned to the other side, talking to Jasper for the whole lunch period. It hurt, but it also gave me time to periodically glance acroos the table at Edward, without having to worry about getting caught.

I tore off little pieces of my PBJ sandwich as I tried to read a book. With every little bite that I took, I also stole another glance at Edward. At one point, I caught his eyes staring at my hands tearing off another small chunk of bread. My movements stopped and his eyes met mine. The corner of his mouth lifted up, giving me a crooked, half way smile. I couldn't stop the huge smile that formed across my lips. His spread into a bigger smile and I looked back down at my book, feeling unsure of myself and what to do. I tried not to show how my breathing accelerated and how my fingers shook a little as I turned the pages. I could feel that he was still staring at me as I pretended to read the words written in my book.

The bell rang shortly after, saving me from whatever embarrassment I could put myself in. I looked away from my book to give one last look at Edward, but he was already gone.

The next class was Biology and we were lab partners, randomly placed together by our teacher. I walked into class, trying not to look up at him. I fixated my eyes on the floor and nearly stumbled over the leg of my chair as I tried to sit down next to him. I placed my books on the lab table and flipped the pages of my biology book open, trying to find something to do. Our teacher wasn't in the class yet and I didn't know what else to do with myself, besides sitting awkwardly, staring at the black board.

I wanted Edward to know that I didn't share the same opinions about him as his sister did. I didn't want him to think that I was another asshole who couldn't understand him. Another person who seemed to think that he was a waste of time or a weirdo.

"I'm sorry about what Alice said," I whispered out to the front of the room and then instantly cringed.

I looked down at my hands folded across the table. Maybe he didn't hear me, that's a good thing. Another minute passed as I picked at my fingernails in silence.

"It's fine, I'm used to it," he softly replied, making my shoulders jump a little. "I should be the one saying sorry to you."

I tilted my head to him, trying to hid part of my face with my hair. His eyes seemed red again, almost glassy. Like he had been crying, but different. He had a piece of paper between his hands and was shredding it into small pieces, making designs on the table with them.

I watched his fingers as he shredded more paper. "No, really, you didn't do anything wrong. Alice was just being a bitch, I guess." I was shocked by my own words. I never would have thought I would ever call Alice a bitch.

He shrugged his shoulders and pushed his index finger on the table as he moved around a few more pieces of paper. I continued to watch his fingers shift around, making a shape of a face. Eyes slowly forming, followed by a nose.

We sat quietly, both staring at his hands. I didn't know what else to say, so I watched him, waiting for any words of response to what I had said. His long fingers continued to move, pressing the pads of them down to form a mouth and then shredding smaller pieces to place eyelashes above the eyes.

All of the sudden his hands stopped and I thought he was going to finally say something. Instead, his hand dropped the piece of paper and forcefully pressed down on the table. His other hand moved and clutched on to the edge of his chair, his tight fist making his knuckles pure white. I noticed little gasping noises and looked over at him, confused. His throat was contracting, making horrible choking sounds as he struggled for air.

"Edward," I cried out, frozen in shock. "What's wrong?"

My eyes instantly scanned over him, looking for any signs of what could be wrong as he kept attempting to breathe. His body was tense, his back straight as he kept a forceful grip on the edge of his chair. His other hand started to smack down on the table, making a loud banging sound echo off the walls of the classroom. The other kids in the class stopped talking and started to look over at us in confusion.

Edward started convulsing, his arms shaking wildly and his body jerking as he made a dry heaving sound. He hit the back of his chair and it fell to the ground with a loud crash. His head bounced off of the floor, making a sickeningly hollow sound. I could hear people gasping as I flew to the ground and grabbed his trembling hands. He looked in my eyes, his mouth hanging open as he tried to speak. His eyes were pleading with me, looking almost apologetic.

Tears were streaming down my face as I tried to hold his hands down, vainly hoping that it would somehow stop all of this. That it could make it all go away, make him better. My hands flew up to his cheeks, holding his head as it shook between my palms. My tears fell on his shirt as I cried out to him and asked what I could do to help. I would do anything to make it go away. His eyes started to roll back in his head, after giving me one last look of help. The beautiful green of his eyes were almost completely hidden under his eyelids as he continued to writhe underneath me.

I became vaguely aware of someone's hands jerking me backwards. The chatter of everyone's voices in the background, a distant annoying hum. The only sounds coming through were Edward's choking and my own sobbing as I repeated his name over and over.

AN

**

So, yeah, tough times are ahead :)

I promised a shout out for my muse to Alice's obsession over Jasper. Because this chick is probably more in love with Jasper then his own girlfriend. haha

Allysue(also Allysue08)...that was for you, babe :)

This chap is shorter then I wanted (5.5k) but it is where I wanted to leave it at. Other chapters will be longer.