Grumbling, complaining, sneering and ugly faces, Theresa got all of it as she woke the kids for school, and almost all of it from her daughter. Justin was a bit slow on the uptake, but he slid out of bed slowly and made his way to the bathroom to shower and primp for school. Max was behind him, squirting toothpaste into his mouth and then brushing his teeth with his toothbrush before returning to look for clothes without a shower. Alex was the slowest. By time she reached the bathroom, Justin was clean and dressed and reviewing his homework and Harper was just getting out of the shower. At breakfast, the wonderful breakfast Theresa created was devoured without a word. It was just there one minute and gone the next. She was scared to put her hand out in fear she lost a finger. At least Justin said thank-you and gave her hug and Harper accidentally called her "mom." Max just did his morning stuff and swallow, and Alex had a piece of toast. Just how did that girl eat so little and yet still look healthy?
"Kids, you're going to be late for school!" Jerry checked his watch as he rushed to have his sandwich place open by eleven.
"We're coming… we're coming…"
"Hurry up, you're going to be late!" Jerry tapped his watch and turned on the lights in the shop after turning off the alarm.
"Wait a second…" Justin checked his watch. "We have plenty of time! It's Saturday!!!"
"What?!!!"
"Saturday?" Jerry looked at his watch. "Oh…" He tapped it as his wife looked disgustedly hostile at him. "Heh, I guess I forgot to set the day when I changed it for Daylights Savings Time." He chuckled innocently as everyone groaned in unison. Max wanted to watch the morning cartoons and Alex wanted to return to bed. She only got so far as something crashed into the shop. Out the corner of her eye, something seemed to fall from the ceiling. Justin had just moved out of the way of it otherwise he would have been crushed under it. There was a short brief scream from this falling entity as he looked over to the figure on the floor at his feet. Whoever this figure was, he was a man of unknown origin.
"There's no hole up there." Jerry looked at his roof then to the guy wearing the blue jeans and black sweatshirt writhing in pain on the floor of his sandwich shop. He and Justin reached down to help the guy up by the arms and help him to a chair. Theresa brought over a plastic cup of water for their mysterious guest.
"My back, my back…" Their guest whined bent over in pain. "That was not supposed to happen… I'm going to have to fix that."
"Yeah…" Jerry handed his guest the water from his wife. "I guess you're going to have to, Mr….."
"Cassidy…" Their guest looked up with a painful grin and shook Jerry's hand as the family watched. "William Cassidy." He sipped the water and looked around the sandwich shop. "Wow… I can't believe I'm actually here…" He stood and walked around the place getting a look at the walls and fixtures. Though hunched over a bit in pain, he walked around in a circle admiring ordinary things like the magazine racks and newspaper box by the front entrance and the benches under the window. This man was studying and analyzing every bit of their shop as if he was from another planet. From the spiral staircase to their upstairs home to the posters on the wall, he seemed in some type of awe of their home and surroundings. Jerry and his family were nervously perturbed as this stranger skipped jostling his back up the stairs to their side exit then straightening his back a bit as he returned down the other side of the landing down near Alex with a big grin to be meeting her.
"I just got to say…" Cassidy spoke to her. "You are a much more lovely lady in person."
"Thank you…" Alex reacted nervously awkward. Was this guy hitting on her? She looked to her father for protection. "Dad???"
"Excuse me…" Jerry came over to protect his daughter. "Who are you again?"
"William Cassidy…" Their guest came round to look at Harper and look her over then turn to Theresa and take her hand. "My lady… I wish I had roses to give you."
"Oh…" Theresa shined to have someone treat her with graciousness. "Jerry, Mr. Cassidy is our guest."
"Yes, well…" Jerry looked over William shook hands with Justin and mussed Max's hair as if he was their uncle. He might have acted harmless and aloof to them but his sudden arrival as well as his seeming wonder of him and his family as if they were celebrities made them uncomfortable. "Mr. Cassidy…" Jerry reacted as protector. "Can we help you?"
"I just wanted to meet you all." William confessed with a big grin across his face. "I'm a big fan of you guys."
"Fan?" Justin spoke and folded his arms before his chest nervously. "You mean… you've been like… watching us?"
Theresa, Alex and Harper shrieked disgustedly and gathered together behind the counter.
"Not like that!!!" William tried to explain. "I mean… well, I guess I can tell you guys the truth; I mean, you guys are wizards, right?"
"Wiz… Wizards?" Jerry reacted shocked and looked toward his family. "You know about that?" He grabbed William by the sweatshirt ready to hit him. "I want you and your hidden cameras out of here in one minute or else I'm going to…"
"It's not like that at all, Jerry…" William calmly tugged his sweatshirt out of Jerry's fist and smoothed it without fear. "Let's see, how can I explain this…. Have you ever watched a TV show and wished you could get into it to meet the characters or warn them of things going on or just be a part of their adventures?"
"No…"
"Heck, yeah…" Max spoke up. "I was watching this one movie where this guy was stealing the Declaration of Independence, and I…"
"Max…" Jerry hushed him and turned to William. "What are you saying?"
"Where I come from…" William checked out and studied the chairs and tables. "You guys are a TV show, and I'm now in it."
"The Adventures of Max!" Max started grinning then struck a heroic pose. "I was right!!!" He was a victim of his own far-fetched delusions. "I knew it all along!!"
"Not exactly…" William calmly let Max down. "It's called Wizards of Waverly Place…" He next turned to the girls. "And it's on Disney Channel so you ladies have got nothing to worry about."
"We're a TV show?" Justin scoffed. "I don't believe that for one… I'm the star right?" He grinned a bit as his ego went up a notch.
"Justin, buddy…" Their twenty-seven-year old guest wandered over to him holding his back and placed his hand on Justin's shoulder. "I'm afraid you're just the foil to the real star."
"Me?" Alex lit up with a big grin spanning across her face. "Me? I'm the star? Oh my god!!!" She came rushing out giddily happy to William to hear more. "Please tell me you brought some DVDs with you? Do I have websites? Have I got a fan club?!!"
"Wait! Wait!" Harper came rushing out and approached William on his left side. "Please tell me I'm not the comic relief! Please tell me I'm not the comic relief!!!"
"Wait a second!" Jerry calmed Theresa down first and then came over to confront William. "We're a TV show? I refuse to believe that. There's nothing you can do or say to make me believe that Disney Channel is controlling the lives of my family!"
"I believe it!" Alex was grinning. "Who plays me? Am I dating Robert Pattinson? If not, who am I dating?"
"Oh, come on, Jerry…" William stepped into a booth and sat on top of it instead of in it. "Almost everything that happens in your life is centered around Alex. How can you explain that?"
"Because she's always at the center of everything!"
"How about the fact that you guys do so little business and still get by?"
"I'm a very good businessman!!" Jerry insisted.
"Forget about that…" Alex interrupted. "How many fans do I have? Millions? Take me back with you!" She came up behind William and grabbed and held on to him excitedly. Jerry unpeeled her arms and pulled her off.
"How about that fact that no one swears and uses profanity in your life?" William pointed out.
"We don't use those sort of words here." Theresa came over. "So, in this TV series, I'm played by who? Salma Hayek? Penelope Cruz?"
"You, my lovely lady…" William came down off the booth and kissed her hand. "Are played by a very lovely actress named Maria Canals Barrera previously known from Mexican soap operas." He moved toward Max. "You are played by a young actor named Jake T. Austin only previously known from commercials." He turned to Jerry. "Jerry, the actor playing you is David DeLuise, the son of a very famous movie comedy actor, Dom DeLuise." William approached Harper. "Your actress counterpart is Jennifer Stone, a young beautiful unknown with a few more curls in her hair." Harper awed a bit as her spirits began soaring. She grinned and clapped her hands like a little girl.
"And Justin," William continued. "The actor playing you is named David Henrie. He's starred in several prior Disney series before getting to play you, and it's interesting to note that he's also a very popular teen heartthrob among young girls."
"Really?" Justin's eyebrow went up a bit interested.
"And Alex…" William turned to the young female star about to burst to hear about her counterpart. "You are played by a young comedienne named Selena Gomez who has just launched what is going to be a very big singing and acting career. Your face is on magazines, books, bed sheets, toys…"
"Tell me more…" Alex was loving it.
"And you've been connected to the Jonas Brothers and the actor that plays your brother."
"Ewwwww….." Alex and Justin recoiled from that news.
"What about me?" Harper realized she was not getting Justin in either world.
"You've got to stop this right now." Jerry faced William. "I refuse to believe that Disney Channel is controlling our lives."
"I don't look at it like that." William replied. "I think of it as the Disney writers writing and transcribing events that have already happened in your lives and then having the actors recreating them. Jerry, they get a lot of stuff wrong. They've badly skewered the facts on wizards, ghosts, vampires, werewolves and mummies. They don't show what it really takes to learn magic. The discipline, the meditation, the channeling of the powers of the mind… All they show is you having the kids memorize spells. What kind of nonsense is that? My god, Jerry, why would a Wizard need a spell to walk up a wall when all he has to do is levitate? There's no such place as a Ghost World, and yet, Alex and Harper visit it?" He gestured as if he wanted an explanation. Behind William, Justin, Alex, Harper and Max looked nervous and confused as if they were hiding something.
"Uh, dad…" Max spoke.
"Quiet, Max…" Jerry hushed him. "So… tell me what else they got wrong?"
"What's the deal with this one wizard per family rule?" William wandered forward as Theresa tried to have the restaurant ready in time to open. "I mean, if Justin decided to play the piano, why shouldn't Alex or Max get to play? It's the same principle! If all the kids marry non-wizards, what should happen to the family Wizard? What if you and Theresa have another kid after the Wizard contest? You do it all again after that kid grows up?"
"Uh, Mr. Russo?" Harper recalled Ghost World.
"Just a minute, Harper…" Jerry quieted her.
"Wait," Theresa turned from setting up the tables. "I'm having another kid?"
"Not really…" William told her the sandwich fixings for the shop. "Can I get a Club sandwich to go?" He asked and continued his debate. "Why aren't the kids learning about the deities or extra-dimensional beings to add to the power and precision of their spells?" William paced a bit as he revealed his real-world knowledge of how white magic worked. "I mean… magic isn't a power… it's a skill that anyone can learn – even Harper!"
"I can?" The cute brunette lit up.
"It doesn't work like that here." Jerry pointed out.
"Why not?" William continued. "Some people might have more psychic potential to magic than other people, but you don't just learn magic by spewing forth words! It doesn't work that way! And another thing… Justin has been the victim of sheer mental, physical and psychological abuse from Alex. Why hasn't he just hauled off and belted her just once?"
Alex did a double take, looked to Justin one and twice again and placed Harper between herself and her brother.
"And another thing…" William continued his tirade. "Alex has been in trouble in school so many times; why hasn't she been tossed out of school and sent to military school? And Max… he used to be just a bit distracted, but now he's so brain dead that he basically should be sent to a school for special kids."
"Wait a second…" Max felt he'd been insulted. "Did he call me stupid?"
"No, he said you're a special kid." Justin translated as Max thought it over then cheered himself into believing he'd been complimented.
"I don't like the kids hitting each other." Jerry declared. "I don't allow it."
"But, Jerry," William looked at him. "How do you know? How do you know? Another thing, Alex…" William turned to the young lady as if she were his own daughter. "The New York City school system has a zero-tolerance rule for bullies and kids who threaten their classmates. You might want to remind Gigi of that the next time she opens her mouth, and Harper…" William turned to Jerry again. "Why did you let Harper move in knowing full well the infatuation she has on Justin? Who knows what those two are doing when you're not watching?"
Harper started grinning with love to Justin; Justin retaliated by moving to stand on the other side of his sister in between him and Harper.
"I know full well of everything that goes on in my home." Jerry testified.
"Jerry, how well do you know what's going on if Alex can still manage to keep using magic behind your back?" He looked to Jerry as his new best friend. "You don't have at least one spell for Justin to strip of her magic for at least a week? A month?"
Jerry and Justin started looking at Alex.
"Don't listen to him, dad!" Alex didn't like the looks. "He thinks we're a TV series on Discovery Channel!!"
"Disney Channel." William corrected her.
"What's the difference?!!" Alex snapped and paused a minute. "Tell me more about this Selena Gomez, what else has she done?"
"She also played Mikayla on Hanna Montana."
"That explains so much…"
"Hannah Montana is also a TV series?" Justin didn't know what to think.
"So are Zack and Cody…" William turned to pay for his drink and sandwich from Theresa and turned round to leave. "You know those twins you met on the ship. Their best friend is played by Ashley Tisdale!"
"I love her!!!" Harper reacted excitedly.
"Hold it! Hold it!" Jerry stopped the kids from swarming William with questions. "There are countless alternate dimensions. We may be a TV series in one, but we not a TV series in all of them." He turned to William. "This David Deluise... He's a big international heart-throb, isn't he?"
"Oh yeah…" William unconvincingly lied to spare his feelings. "He's right up there with Hugh Jackman, Nicolas Cage and George Clooney."
"Yes!!!"
"Look, Jerry…" William checked his watch. "I'd love to talk to you more about this, but I've still got to put together a plan for Colonel Hogan to outwit the Nazis, help Gilligan and the Skipper build a raft, check with Jack, Sawyer and Locke on the island, hang out with Zack and Cody then get to my date with Marilyn Munster." He sipped his drink. "I hope I didn't upset you much."
"No, not really…" Jerry tried to think. "…but you've given me a lot to think about."
"You're going to be seeing me a lot around here." William shook Jerry's hand. "Next time I come by, I'll bring DVDs of the stuff Alex did you never discovered."
"I'm really interested in seeing them." Jerry shook William's hand and looked to Alex. The young lady made a face to show she was offended. She glared at William as he headed out of the shop.
"Justin, come with me to the lair later." Jerry called his son. "I've got a spell for you to learn."
"Way ahead of you." Justin grinned happier than he was before. Somewhere beyond the shop in the direction of where William had headed, there was a loud sound of chamber doors opening up. It sounded like the vault on an immense room. The clanging of metal on metal, the sound of air moving from one area to another and then the same door being closed by hydraulics.
"What was that?" Max asked out loud.
"The gates of hell?" Harper asked, but she was very much wrong. Beyond the realm of her universe, William Cassidy strided through steam and fog from numerous coolers pumping freezing cold water into the walls to cool several thousands of computer diodes linked to several computer banks in his facility. His drink and sandwich had vanished from one world to another. He stepped up a few steps into the larger chamber of what used to be the recreation room of a textile company now turned into a computer research agency. He stepped behind a large computer console with several screens. One screen showed what the Russos were doing now while several others were scanning and downloading and comparing scenes of their TV series to create profiles of their characters and perfect their physical appearances.
"How did it work?" His buddy, Jerold, asked.
"I can't believe how well the matrix got their characters down, and the shop…" William was checking the holographic configuration within the holo-chamber. "It was incredible. Every nuance, every detail… We only got a few seasons downloaded. Wait till we get all of them downloaded, it will make their characters even more sharper." Once the holo-chamber had scanned the entire series downloaded and extrapolated into perfect sync, he was going to start posing new situations for the Russos to encounter plus correcting the errors in the Disney continuity based on his own ideas and reflections.
"I also got The Benny Hill Show, all of the CSI's and Bones downloaded…" Jerold checked the status of the DVDs being scanned into interactive holo-chamber simulations. "My wife is going to love meeting a holographic Sealy Booth in person."
"I can't wait to date Katherine Willows."
"Look what else I can do…" Jerold linked up some photo-shopping technology to adjust the simulation of Alex Russo to play with the configuration of her physical dimensions and accentuate her womanly curves into exaggerated proportions. She looked like she was smuggling honeydew melons!
"She's gonna explode!!!"
"Yeah, that's really funny." William reacted disgusted. He did not think of Alex in that way and did not want to. "Remind me to put a security protocol in the system so guys like you can't do that." From somewhere in the holo-chamber, Alex was screaming her head off!
END