To say that Yugi was confused when Joey called him at noon on a Saturday would be an understatement. Joey was rarely conscious at noon on Saturdays, let alone awake enough to call!
Nonetheless, Joey called, and so Yugi, dutiful friend that he was, answered. He didn't even get out so much as a "Hello Joey, how are you?" before his friend was off like a rocket.
"Yuge! I need your help on a bit of a...project I got going. Ya in?"
"What project, Joey? Why are you even awake at this hour? It's Saturday!" Yugi demanded.
"Today's my day to hang out with Serenity," Joey hastily explained, "So anyway, we're at the park, right? And you'll never guess who I saw over by the monkey bars. Moneybags, here with his kid brother! So I got to thinkin', maybe I could use this opportunity to shake him up a bit! But it was too good not to share, an' I wanna remember the look on his face, and Serenity refuses to help me record it, so I need you to help me out, man!"
"No, Joey," Yugi sighed, "Absolutely not. I won't do it. Not to Kaiba. That's just asking for trouble."
"Whaaaaaat?" Joey whined, "Come on, Yuge, it'll be funny! I wont hurt him, I promise, just freak him out a little! Pleeeeeaaaase~?"
Yugi could just see the expression on Joey's face: big eyes, slight pout, the whole puppy face deal. Even his mental conjuration was hard to resist.
"Alright," Yugi sighed in defeat, pinching the bridge of his nose, "But if you bring on Kaiba's wrath, I'm not helping you."
"YES!" Joey crowed loudly, forcing Yugi to hold the phone away from his ear, "Thanks Yuge! You're the best!"
When Yugi found Joey, the blond was sitting on a park bench, bickering with his sister and glancing over his shoulder at the nearby playground. Following Joey's gaze, Yugi could see Kaiba, imposing figure that he was, standing near the jungle gym, intently watching his little brother swing from bar to bar.
"Yugi!" Joey called, lighting up as he spotted his friend.
Yugi gave a small wave and trotted over. Serenity looked up at Yugi, frowning.
"Yugi, tell Joey that his plan is a bad idea!" she insisted, "He won't listen to me!"
"Relax," Joey assured her her hastily while shoving a small camera into Yugi's hands, "It'll be fine. Just a bit of harmless fun! So here's the plan, Yuge. It's real simple. I'm gonna run over there, tackle ol' Moneybags, and then run off, lickety-split! And you're gonna be the pal who catches it all on tape!"
Joey rubbed his palms together.
"And if it's really good, we could put it online, or worse, blackmail Kaiba with it, and make a mint!"
"I thought you said you weren't going to hurt him," Yugi frowned.
"He won't get hurt," Joey said with a flippant wave, "There's tonsa grass and that rubbery stuff. May hurt his pride, though."
The devilish grin Yugi was a little to accustomed to seeing crossed his face. Without another word, the blond took off running towards the unsuspecting CEO.
Before Joey had so much as laid a finger on Kaiba's pristine white coat, the taller man had whirled around and knocked Joey back into the dirt.
"What do you think you're doing, Wheeler?" the brunet growled.
Joey sat in the dirt for a minute, stunned that his plan had failed. By now, Mokuba's attention had been drawn over to his brother.
"Hi Joey!" he called from the top bar of the jungle gym, "What are you doing here?"
"Yes, Wheeler, care to explain what the hell you're doing?" Kaiba snapped.
"Aw, I was just messin' with ya," Joey replied, picking himself up and brushing the dirt and grass from his backside.
"Come again?" the taller man asked, raising an eyebrow, "You think this is funny, mutt? You do know I could have you arrested for assault, right?"
"See, that's exactly why I like messin' with ya," Joey chuckled easily, tucking his hands into his pockets, "You're so uptight. Sometimes ya need to be reminded that you're just as human as the rest of us."
Kaiba was taken aback by Joey's easygoing demeanor in the face of his threats. He wasn't used to people shrugging of his power so easily. And yet, at the same time, he was kind of thankful for it. Whenever he clashed with Joey, the blond fought back, instead of rolling over to his every command like most of his pathetic associates. Which was why, despite all of the obstacles he set in place, he let Joey participate in his tournaments. He could have easily kicked the second-rate duelist out of Battle City, but the blond provided a sort of...entertainment. He couldn't help but think that, in a weird sort of way, he enjoyed his clashes with...why was Joey's face so close to his?!
While Kaiba was caught in his musings, Joey had decided to abandon his first plan of shaking up the unflappable CEO for a new one. He didn't know what possessed him to do it, but suddenly, he figured that kissing the other man would be the ultimate in shock, something that he could do quickly and walk away from, leaving the other stunned.
Yet again, Kaiba was not so easily caught off guard. In the blink of an eye, he had stepped to the side and Joey, who had been up on tip-toe to reach Kaiba's face, fell over once again, this time on his face.
"What the hell were you thinking, mutt?" Kaiba demanded, raising an eyebrow.
Joey jumped up, bits of grass and rubbery things sticking to his skin and clothes, face burning red, mortified that he had been foiled a second time.
"I was- I just- Aw, forget it!" the blond cried, turning to leave with what dignity he had left.
In one quick motion, Kaiba caught Joey's retreating wrist and yanked the blond back, pulling his face close with his other hand and pressing their lips together roughly. Joey let out something close to a squeal as he realized what was happening. Kaiba released him with a confident smirk.
"Nice try, Wheeler, but no one takes me by surprise," he gloated, turning and walking away, "Let's go, Mokuba."
Mokuba snickered at Joey's stunned expression, jumping down from the jungle gym to run off after his brother.
Meanwhile, over on the park bench, Yugi realized that the camera was still on. Hurriedly, he ended the recording, figuring that Joey wouldn't want this to escape into the world.
"I hope he learned his lesson about these schemes of his," Yugi murmured as Joey stood there, still dazed.
"I don't think he ever will," Serenity sighed.
A shadow moved across the pair of them.
"So you were in on this too, were you, Yugi?" Kaiba's voice asked from behind.
Yugi turned quickly, dropping the camera in his surprise.
"Hmm...I'll take this," the brunet picked up the small recording device with something akin to an amused smirk on his face, "You can let Wheeler know I have it."