HAPPY HOLIDAYS WORLD, FROM NORTHERN CANADA!
It's cold. And yeah, this story is going to be overly cliché but then again, everything about the holidays is.
T'was the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring…..
except for a certain red headed evil boy genius, who was hurriedly working in his lab. He had a plan so evil, so original, that he would go down in history as the most dastardly and masterful boy genius ever! He laughed as he welded two pieces of metal together, sparks flying past him.
Chase Young sat on his throne, tossing a hacky sack back and forth that Jack Spicer had left there the last time he stayed. The evil dragon overlord was slightly bored, and a bit disappointed in himself. In his mind, he had not met his evil quota lately. To tell the truth, Chase had actually been slacking off. He didn't know why, but he didn't feel particularly evil. After taking time to reflect on his past experiences, he realized that his only real opponents lately were a group of dysfunctional kids, a magical fruit, and a 1500 year old powerless witch. He remembered the days where his evil talents were put to good use, where there was always a challenge, and he would go about the lands and wreak havoc on the small towns. The evil overlord sighed and tossed the hacky sack for his jungle cats to play with.
"I'm so bored!" he complained out loud, which was something Chase didn't do often. "If only somehow, something would just come along and cure my boredom!"
And as if some divine force had heard the dragon lord's cries, Jack Spicer, wearing a red coat and a Santa hat, burst into the room.
"CHASE, BABY! Have I ever got a plan for you."
The man sighed. "That….was not exactly what I meant."
"I have come up with the most evil, dastardly plan ever conceived by human mind!"
"Why are you wearing that ridiculous outfit, Spicer?"
"Here, put this on and come outside." The youth tossed a pair of elf shoes and an elf hat over to Chase.
"What makes you think I'm going to wear this?"
But the redhead didn't hear him. He was already out the door. Chase sighed and threw the hat and shoes on the ground, following Jack outside. There, perched on the entrance to Chase's mountainside palace, was an expertly welded together sleigh, with eight mechanical flying robots with antlers on. Jack sat in the driver's seat, holding onto reigns.
"Oh please no…"
"WE ARE GOING TO STEAL CHRISTMAS!"
Chase turned around and walked back into his palace. The albino ran after him.
"Heyheyhey wait!"
"Leave me alone, Spicer!"
"Come on, I need an evil partner!"
"Find someone else! That is not something I'm doing!"
Jack stepped in front of Chase. The man stopped and glared at him. Jack closed his eyes, and then opened them again, as wide as he could, tears welling up in the corners. He stuck out his bottom lip and quivered it a little.
"Don't…even…..try that with me…." The overlord bit his lip. Jack just stood there, more tears welling up.
"There is no way you are getting me in that sleigh, worm!"
"…"
"No!"
"…"
"…."
Chase sighed as he sat in the passenger side of the sleigh, with an elf hat on. Jack smiled, holding the reigns in both hands. He stood up and cleared his throat.
"ON DASHER ON DANCER ON PRANCER AND…."
"Oh just damn well take off, insect!"
The boy shook the reigns, and the robots took of a lighting fast speed. Jack was pushed back and fell over the seat. Chase laughed as he held onto his hat, his boredom quickly forgotten.
Over the mountains they flew, until they reached their first destination. Hannibal Roy Bean's place. They landed on the roof, quite noisily. Chase sighed.
"Spicer, Hannibal would have to be deaf or dead to have not heard us."
"Chase shhhh. You'll wake him!"
The pale boy grabbed a giant bag from the back of the sleigh, and a rope. Chase looked at the two things curiously.
"Are we going to kidnap Hannibal or something?"
Jack sighed "No, Chase. You see, this is why I am the evil mastermind and you are an elf."
The overlord's eye twitched slightly. Jack tied the rope around his waist and threw the sack over his shoulder.
"Alright, you hold this end of the rope and keep it steady." He said as he pranced over to the chimney sticking out of the roof. Chase planted his feet firmly on the roof, and Jack leaped down the chimney, his tiny frame fitting easily. The dragon lord held the rope, and heard the boy whisper loudly up to him.
"Okay, now let a little rope out slowly."
Chase smiled a wicked smile, and let go of the rope completely. He heard a girly scream and a THUNK!" He walked over to the chimney and shouted down.
"Was that enough rope?!"
The albino rubbed his backside, coughing up a bit of soot.
"Actually, Chase, that was a little too much rope…"
"Oh, whoops. My bad." He shouted back sarcastically.
Through some sort of miracle, Hannibal slept soundly in his bed through all the commotion. There was a torn sock hung up by the fire place, a half burnt tree set up and decorated in the corner, and a few crudely wrapped presents underneath of it. Jack sleuthed around, grabbing every Christmas related thing around the room, and shoving them into the sack, including the tree. He snickered evilly. It was his most original plan ever!
Chase sighed and leaned against the edge of the chimney. His hat was lopsided. There was a bell on the end. He flicked it. It bobbed back and forth, jingling slightly. He smiled. Then a shout from the chimney distracted him.
"Okay, I stole Hannibal's Christmas! I'm going to throw it up to you!"
The man looked down, and soon a light brown bag was thrown up at him. He caught it with ease, and threw it in the back of the sleigh. A few moments later, Santa Jack flew up with his heli pack. Chase snarled at him.
"Why the hell didn't you use that bloody contraption to go down the chimney in the first place?!"
Jack thought for a moment. "Be…cause…..That wasn't part of my master plan!"
"Of course it wasn't, because that would make sense!"
"ALL OF MY MASTER PLAN MAKES SENSE!"
"NONE OF IT MAKES SENSE, YOU INSECT!"
"You're just jealous because you didn't think of it first."
Chase's head hurt from the stupidity. He shut his mouth and sat back down in the sleigh. Jack stood up and shook the reigns, jetting off into the air.
They landed on their next destination. Chase didn't recognize it.
"Whose house is this?"
"It's Wuya's house!"
"Wuya has her own house?"
"Yeah."
The dragon lord looked around. He could have sworn Wuya was still leeching off of him for shelter and resources.
"I really need to start taking tabs on who is living in my house. Maybe I could start charging rent."
"CHASE FOCUS!" He said giving the other end of the rope tied around his waist to the overlord. Chase growled.
"Just use your damn contraption, Spicer!"
"But that isn't part of the plan, Chase!"
Jack made it safely down the chimney this time. Repeating what his did in the last house, the grabbed everything Christmas-y and shoved it in the sack. Wuya was fast asleep in her bed, dreaming of sugar plums. All of her enemies choking on sugar plums. Jack was about to leave when he spotted something out of the corner of his eye. A Christmas bear. Wrapped in Wuya's arms.
So the redhead snuck over to the bed quietly, and tried positioning his hands just right to pull the bear away. But before he could, Wuya adjusted and quickly wrapped her arm around Jack's arm. His eyes widened and he struggled to get away. But even in her sleep, the old witch was still much stronger than the scrawny weakling that was Jack Spicer.
"Crap….Crap….Crap…." He whispered to himself. But he was stuck. Jack desperately reached to his other wrist, and clicked a button on his wristwatch.
Chase blew a chunk of hair out of his face. Stealing. It was sort of evil. And stealing Christmas, of all things. A time that was to be joyous and full of wonderment for all. And when his enemies woke up in the morning, they would wander around their households aimlessly, wondering where their beautiful holiday went. He smiled.
"I guess it is sort of evil…"
Chase heard a beeping coming from the sleigh. He raised an eyebrow and walked over to it.
"What the…."
"Chase!" Came through Jack's voice.
"What is it, worm."
"I need your help! Get down here!"
The man shook his head. "Can't you do anything right…."
Chas jumped down the chimney with ease. He saw Jack struggling.
"Chase! Help! She has me, and she is crazy strong!"
The overlord rolled his eyes and walked over to the bed, lifting the witch's arm with ease. Jack, who had been pulling with all his strength, tumbled backwards, with the teddy bear in his grasp, knocking over an end table and a lamp. Wuya shuffled a bit in her bed and curled up to her pillow.
"How is she still asleep!?" Chase wondered aloud. Jack shoved the teddy bear in his sack and walked over to the chimney. The man walked over and grabbed him, pulling Jack and the Christmas bag up the chimney with him.
Jack dusted the soot off of him and cleared his throat.
"Well, good job, Chase the elf."
"Don't call me that."
"Let us be off to our next destination!"
The last place the duo was to rob was the Xiaolin Temple.
"Are you sure about this Spicer? I mean, the Xiaolin Temple is heavily guarded, and as dysfunctional and weak as they are, they are still more powerful than the last two idiots we robbed."
"Oh, Chase. I am completely prepared! I have thought this out thoroughly! There should be no doubts about my great plan!"
"Oh, of course. How could I doubt any of YOUR plans, Spicer? They always turn out so well."
"Exactly!"
"Like releasing spiders that almost devoured the world…."
Jack glanced back, handing Chase the rope once again. "For your information, that wasn't a plan. That was a mistake."
"I didn't know there was a difference between mistakes and your plans."
"Chase, shhhhh. You are an elf. You need to act merry."
The man snarled.
Jack shimmied down the chimney and landed silently. He had to be very careful this time. He snuck around, grabbing all the presents, and 5 stockings reading "Kimiko, Clay, Raimundo, Omi, and Dojo"
Then he stared at the massive tree. It was bigger than the other two. Too big to stuff in his sack. So this time he threw the sack up to his elf helper, and then went back for the tree. But the tree was bigger than him and Jack stumbled backwards, grunting. A couple ornaments fell to the ground and smashed. Jack winced, hoping no one had heard him.
But someone had heard him. Omi had woken up to grab a glass of water, when he heard the smashing. He sleepily walked over to where the tree was. Jack froze behind the tree.
"S…Santa?" The sleepy little boy whispered. Jack coughed, deepening his voice. It didn't go very deep.
"Uh….y..yeah! Santa. That's me! Ho ho ho and all that."
"Why are you taking the tree?"
"I….uh….the lights…are…busted. I was going to take it back to my…magical shop in the North Pole and fix it."
Omi looked over. "I don't think they are broken, Santa. I think they are just unplugged."
"Hey, if you argue with Santa, you don't get presents. Now go back to bed cheeseball."
Omi yawned. "Alrighty Santa. Merry Christmas. I love you."
Jack shuddered. "Yeah…uh…you too."
Omi walked back out of the room. Jack breathed.
"That was too close…."
When Jack got back to the roof, Chase was leaning against the sleigh.
"Wow. That took you long enough."
They both flew off, with three sacks full of Christmas cheer and happiness in the back of their sleigh.
They landed at the open mouth of Chase's palace. The sun was just coming up over the horizon. Jack stood on top of the sacks, looking down over the mountain.
"It's Christmas morning! Everyone will be waking up, and realizing that their holiday is ruined by none other than JACK SPICER, EVIL BOY GENIUS!"
"Ahem…."
"….and his little elfy helper!"
Chase groaned. Jack laughed.
"Doesn't it feel so good to do something so evil, Chase? Everyone is going to be so disappointed."
"Or, everyone will realize that material possessions isn't what makes Christmas, but the happiness and joy of spending time with loved ones, and this whole heist will only bring everyone closer together for a wonderful holidays…."
The redhead looked backwards. "Chase, everyone knows Christmas is about presents. Jeez."
"What are we going to do with all this crap?"
"We should decorate your palace with it."
"I swear, worm, I will push you off this cliff."
"OH waitwaitwait I hear something!"
The two evil doers listened. There was some sort of noise. Jack couldn't see, but Chase's dragon eyes allowed him to see The Xiaolin warriors, Wuya, and Hannibal all headed this way. Chase grinned and jumped up beside Jack.
"Hey, what are you…"
"HEY!" the man shouted as loud as he could. "I FOUND YOUR STUFF. SPICER STOLE IT!"
"WHAT?!" Jack jumped up. Chase laughed and jumped down off the sleigh. All of their enemies quickly landed, and the albino panicked.
"Jack Spicer, you jerk!" Kimiko pointed. "That's our stuff!"
Wuya snarled. "Let's beat the snot out of him!"
Jack screamed a girly little scream as he was viciously attacked by all his enemies.
Chase Young laughed, and grabbed the Santa hat that had fallen off the redhead and landed on the ground. He put it on his head, grabbed a candy cane off the sleigh, and walked back into his palace.
"Merry Christmas, Spicer!" He shouted back and shut the door to his place.
Happy Holidays Everyone! 3
