In my story Aria and Ezra broke up and Hanna never got back together with Caleb. Please comment on how I could improve my writing.
Girls just want to have fun
Aria and Hanna each swallowed back another shot of tequila. The corrosive liquid burned down their oesophagus's .An 80's rock song hummed from the bar's overhead radio .They had decided to put the fake IDs Ali had gotten them two years ago to good use ,and blew off the school's valentine's day dance in favour of a college bar a little bit outside Rosewood.
Hanna looked around the bar; it was almost empty besides a bunch of college guys watching a football game. Hanna turned back to Aria. '' You know I'm so glad we came here tonight. This is so much better than some stupid valentine's dance, right?''
Aria hiccupped ''Totally'' She nodded.' That dance would have sucked anyways. Everybody dancing and hugging and in love…..WHY DID HE DUMP ME!?''She erupted, her face as sad as a scolded puppy.
Hanna rolled her eyes. ''Seriously Aria when are you going to move on from that vest wearing man child? He's not even that cute. I mean it's creepy, are you obsessed with him or something?''
Aria lowered her eyes and shook her head ''No' 'she started'' I just love him so much and he keeps finding reasons to dump me. Am I ugly or something?''
''No you're so pretty'' Hanna responded ''although sometimes the way you dress makes me wonder whether or not you're related to Jenna or if your house is lacking in light bulbs''
Aria looked like she was about to cry.'' I'm being serous, what's wrong with me? ''Aria reached over and grabbed another shot from the tray resting on Hanna's side of the table. Aria began to talk before she was done swallowing ''You know what; I don't even care about Ezra. Right now he's probably reading Shakespeare and writing sappy poetry about his love of sweater vests by and open fire' 'Aria pointed to Hanna ''that's his idea of fun. Lame right?''
Hanna nodded and tried to conceal her smile .A drunk Aria was a bi-polar Aria, one second she'd be all happy, then depressed, then angry ''Pretty lame ''
''I cannot believe I choose Ezra Fitz , Jerry Springer's dream guest over Jason Dilaurentis .Jason is so beautiful and perfect and sweet. He's like Brad Pitt and Heaven combined. 'Aria croaked.
Hanna knew exactly what Aria was talking about ''Yeah he's sexy if he wasn't Spencer's brother I would totally….'' Hanna stared off into space .Aria grabbed a Peanut from the bowl and threw it at Hanna.
''Stop thinking about him .If he's going to be anybody's future boyfriend he's going to be mine ''.Aria said.
''Okay he's all yours ''Hanna threw her hands up in surrender. 'So ...is Jason a good kisser?''
''Who? Jason? ''Hanna nodded and Aria blushed and shrugged. 'I don't remember, I guess''
A devilish smile appeared across Hanna's face ''If you don't remember then must not of been very good''
Aria pursed her lips ''No it was good''
''Then show me ''Hanna suggested with a smirk.
Aria chuckled and ran her hands through her raven hair ''I can't kiss you you're a girl''
''What, so you'll make out with your teacher but you won't kiss me? ''Hanna faked hurt. ''Come on Aria t's only demonstrating. Show me how he kissed you and I'll decide whether or not he's a good kisser''
''What kind of science lab do you work in? ''Aria stared at Hanna for a moment, thinking of her suggestion. They were best friends and it would be funny to kiss. What the Hell? 'Okay' ' both girls giggled and leaned in, they touched lips, Hanna's lips tasted like vodka and lime. They pulled away after pregnant second' 'It was kind of like that'' Aria confirmed.
Hanna smiled and tugged on Aria's arm ''Good. Come on lets go to the bathroom .I need to fix my lipstick ''Hanna pushed through the restroom doors. Inside a man at the urinal quickly zipped up his pants and hurried out the door without washing his hands.
''Oh don't be shy. Hanna's seen plenty of those things before ''Aria giggled.
Hanna's mouth dropped open ''I have not seen plenty. You've seen way more than me''
''I have never seen a single penis in my life ''Aria slurred. 'I am a virgin''
What a liar! 'You are not a virgin, you did it with Mr Fitz''
''Ezra' 'Aria corrected. 'And I don't even like him anymore so that totally doesn't count ''
''It so counts ''Hanna focused on the mirror as she applied her lipstick ''Come on lets go''
After two more hours and eight more drinks, Aria and Hanna left the bar and staggered down the streets of Rosewood until they got home.
Early next morning Aria woke up with a pounding headache, make up all over the pillow, and a new message on her phone. Aria opened the message.
I guess you really have a thing for blondes –A
With the message was a picture. It was of her and Hanna kissing in a bar booth. Aria rubbed her eyes. What the hell happened last night?
Thanks for reading. Please review.
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