Millions of people have tried out, including celebrities and normal civilians who have dreams to win this show. We decided to crush everyone's dreams and chose 26 famous people you may or may not know. However, before we start, I would quite enjoy showing you some of these audition tapes.
First tape – Jared Leto of 30 Seconds to Mars
Jared: "My name is Jared fucking Leto, and I like chilling on the grass and random places. I think I should be allowed into the Big Brother House, because I am Jared Leto. Enough said."
*Turns off camera*
Second tape – Logan Henderson, James Maslow, Carlos Pena, & Kendall Schmidt of Big Time Rush
Kendall: Hey, we kinda just got bored, so decided to make an audition tape for Big Brother.
Logan: We thought it would be funny to have Big Time Rush on Big Brother, ahah, see what I did there?
Carlos: Yes, Logan. They see what you did here. But I kinda do want to be on the show! So don't fuck this up!
James: We like the show and pie, so let us all in! THERE! WERE DONE! I'M TURNING OFF THE CAMERA NOW!
Kendall: But, I love you!
Logan: BABY COME BACK, YOU CAN BLAME IT ALL ON ME! I WAS WRONG, AND I JUST CANT LIVE WITHOUT YOU!
Carlos: No, we're going to get in, so were done. Remember, pie, music, and the show!
*James turns off camera*
Third tape – Amy Lee, Terry Balsamo, Tim McCord, Will Hunt, and Troy McLawhorn of Evanescence
Amy: Hello-
*Camera drops on the floor*
Tim: Good going Amy! A fucked up camera will definitely get us in.
Terry: And why are we doing this again?
Will: Because it would be fun to live in a house with many other strangers.
Amy: Aww c'mon guys, it would be a ton of fun!
*Amy picks up camera and places on counter*
Amy: Let's try this again; hello! I'm Amy. I like making music and painting, and I think I should be allowed in the Big Brother House because I love the show and I think it would be so cool to live there.
Terry: I'm Terry. I like music and playing my guitar. And I think I should not be allowed in the Big Brother House because you never know if someone there is a pedophile.
Will: I'm Will. I like music, and I agree with Terry on this one.
Amy: *Groans*
Troy: I'm Troy. I also agree with Terry and Will.
Tim: And I'm Chuck Norris, and you're watching Disney channel.
Amy: *sighs and turns off camera*
Fourth tape – Rebecca Black
Rebecca: So, since I have no friends, I decided to make this video. Big Brother seems pretty cool. I mean, everyone knows my hit song "Friday"! If I did get into the Big Brother House, I would sing it all the time! And everybody would love me!
*Starts obnoxiously singing when mother walks into the room*
Mom: SHUT THE HELL UP AND TURN THAT CAMERA OFF! JESUS! IT'S TUESDAY!
Rebecca: BUT!
*Mom turns off camera*
Fifth tape – Britney Spears
Britney: Well since I'm so famous and talented with auto-tune, I think I am the right choice to be allowed into the Big Brother House. I mean, just listen to me sing.
*Starts singing horribly*
"I-I-I wanna ta-a-ake you awa-a-ay take you from the hunger games."
*Hesitates*
Britney: No wait, that was a parody of my song about some sort of a thing called The Hunger Games. Well, buh-bye!
*Turns off camera*
Sixth tape – Obama and Sarah Palin
Obama: Hello America, I have decided to try out for Big Brother with my good friend Sarah Palin
Sarah: Hello everybody! My name is Sarah Palin, and I love America!
Obama: Yeah, that's nice, so anyway, the show better take me, you don't have to take Sarah, but if you do not choose the President, I will have the Secret Service on your ass! That is all
Sarah: Even of you don't choose me, I still love America! I will always love America! GOD BLESS AMERICA, LAND THAT I LOVE!
Obama: SHUT UP!
*Sarah starts to cry*
Obama: Good *gets up, steps over Sarah on the floor, and turns off camera*
Seventh tape – Justin Bieber
Justin: *Flips hair* Hey there. I'm Justin Bieber, and I love my fans. I think I should be allowed into the Big Brother House so I can get my fans to watch the show and the shows rating will sky rocket. Doesn't everyone just love me and the Beliebers?
Mom: JUSTIN! COME IN HERE AND TRY ON THIS DRESS I GOT FOR YOU!
Justin: *Groans* BUT MOM! I'm a lesbian, why can't you see that?
Mom: *Barges in room* Young lady turn off that camera right now.
Justin: But mo-
Mom: *Turns off camera*
Eighth tape – Ke$ha
Ke$ha: I'm fucking Ke$ha. Let me into the Big Brother house, or I will find you and shove glitter down your throat. LOVE YOU! Mwah! Later!
*Walks away from camera*
Ke$ha: Girl, where's my beer?
*runs back and turns off camera*
Ninth tape – Lindsey Lohan
Lindsey: Well, I think I should be allowed into the Big Brother House because I would love another one million dollars. Also because I'm Lindsey Lohan, and I get anything I want, and that means all you losers out there should bring me alcohol; right now.
*Starts chugging beer and turns off camera*
Tenth tape – Destery Moore and Nathan Owens
Destery: SUP WHORES! Yeah, were gonna do this shit! Big Brother is Nathan's life, because he likes men.
Nathan: MMH HMM! DAMN STRAIGHT!
Destery: So, in the name of Transformers, put us on Big Brother, if not, that's okay, because we get more views on our YouTube videos than you do on your show!
Nathan: OHHH BURNN!
Destery: Nathan, shut up.
Nathan: But Destery, I love you.
Destery: I love you too, that's why I'm doing this gay ass video. Jesus, if we make it, I'm going to rape a rubber duck!
Nathan: pssh we will so make it! I'll go get a rubber duck!
*Nathan walks away from camera*
Destery: I was joking you whore! Get back here!
Destery: *turns off camera and runs after Nathan*
We wanted to show you all of the videos, but the other ones were what we would like to call, too disturbing for human eyes. And some of them were just too boring, and we care for the entertainment of our viewers. We will announce who officially made it next week! Some of those winners could be from this list, or others that we couldn't show, because people are disgusting! Well, that's it for this week folks.