Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I don't believe that Wally is really dead. To me if they had a season three (like they should), he'd come back somehow… But had to write something after season 2 ended. Enjoy the one shot and don't forget to review :)
Nightwing was observing the city of Bludhaven below his feet. A chilly breeze accompanied the darkness of the night. The coverage of the sky remained thick with clouds and a front of cold that seemed to cling to the buildings, creating them into ice sculptors that towered up to the aimless heavens, remaining unreached. The stillness was caught beneath his eyes and rested on his lips. The single, shrouding, solitary space between the lone hero and any other became vast and unheard of for some time now.
The calming presence of discord weighed heavily on his heart. The attachment of grief and regret found its way into the man's chest, yet hasn't established an escape route and being held in so tightly, he didn't know if it ever would.
The atmosphere was sliced with a few unheard footsteps on the concrete, placed upon the rooftop. The shadow made its company known when it stood beside the unmoving, frozen vigilante. No indication was spared. No remote feeling was cast. A minor tension set in, denying the unknowing sound that ran stories beneath the two.
"I'm worried about you." The voice was leveled and concerned. A breeze of uncertainty swayed between them.
"Bruce… What are you doing here?"
"It's been a month." His son's voice was raw and lacked any form of being consoled. "You haven't been attending any of your classes. Nightwing dropped off radar for some time now. Isn't it about time that you faced this?"
His stare hardened. This city had become his safe haven away from Gotham, The Hall, or any other place his attendance used to fill. He was just gone, like he knew he had to be. "You don't understand. I can't…"
"Find the words, you know that they are there," Bruce replied firmly.
Nightwing took a glance at the man cloaked in his hero attire. A hollow breath that he kept hidden was released. Explanation due to the velocity of kinetic energy unknowingly depleting his friend's life, replayed mockingly in his head in Bart's voice and he had to just stand there with the rest, having no choice but to wait for the tornado to end. "Wally's death could have been prevented… I was a terrible leader. I put everyone's lives in jeopardy… I- I should have done more. I could have done more."
Batman gave an understanding nod. "Dick, I know, but remember, staying calm-"
Something inside him snapped. "How can I be calm?! Wally is dead! Dead!And Artemis is still falling apart!" His voice echoed out into the open space between the heroes and the rest of the world. Dick hasn't spoken in a while, except for the repeated words muttered under his breath of failure. His fist clenched. He still felt the sting of the multiple times he smashed a wall out of frustration. His volume dropped. "I don't know what to do anymore… I don't know how much more I can handle…"
That lost feeling was known and forever burned into Bruce's memory. He has lived it many times. "Wally died a hero. It was his choice. I know it's hard but-"
"Died a hero?" he repeated in a whisper. "What does that even mean anymore? I told you before at the Watchtower… I just need a break."
"This isn't a break. It's running away. You need to deal with it."
"Bruce, he was my best friend… You know me by now… this is how I deal with things."
"You think dealing with matters means covering them up and walking away. They don't fade like that. The problems come back the moment they find a weakness. Wearing that mask conceals your identity, not your problems. Wally wouldn't have-"
"Don't tell me what Wally would have wanted! You weren't there! Wally and I got into a huge argument after Mount Justice was blown to pieces!" His hand slammed roughly against his own chest. "I did that! I caused it! Me! It was my screwed up plan!" His sheltered eyes were torn away. "We may have made up, but I can't take back what I did to him…"
"And what was that?" he asked, lowering his head.
He felt a hand placed supportively on his shoulder, giving him room to speak the words that remained locked away for those thirty days. "I was the one that asked Artemis to become a hero again and Wally to become Kid Flash just once more to help save earth. I thought it was the right thing to do… I didn't know that it really would be the last time for the both of them… It's all my fault." His head shook, releasing his guilt. "I should have been the one to go undercover, not her…"
"You need to stop blaming this whole event on yourself. Artemis wanted to help because she was better suited for the job. You were needed to lead the team. And you know that Wally went in aware of what was at stake. That's what being a hero is about."
"I used to be naïve enough to believe that being a hero was about saving lives… not about losing them. When I was Robin the only matter that held my attention was being on the front lines with you and the team. After that virtual reality test gone wrong, I knew that wasn't what I wanted anymore… Wally actually knew Robin, but unlike the rest of the team, he knew Dick Grayson. I put all this time into being a hero and it wasn't to lose more people." As he spoke, the wind carried his sorrows into the air, left to linger for a brief moment before being whisked away.
"That's why mourning is something that needs to be done, to relieve the pain. We both know that."
"I don't want to mourn… not for Wally." The words he spoke were crushing his heart, shredding his psyche. It didn't need to be this way.
"The method you've decided on, to handle this, it isn't right." Batman held sternness to his carefully chosen words. "It's disrespectful to his memory, to his family."
"Do you think it'd be any easier if it was Tim that died? Wally was like a brother to me too… You know how hard it was to deal with Jason's death. Sometimes I feel like being 'Robin' is a curse… We take up the mantle and disguise our past with a life that would make those we lost proud, or so we think, but in reality it's suffocating. I've made mistakes, let civilians die, gotten myself captured more times than I could count, I ran away, I've been so close to death that I could almost taste it, but nothing compares to what I'm feeling right now."
"Then maybe you need a more permanent break. You should take some time to really understand if this is what you want, to be Nightwing." They were no longer facing each other. He noticed the slight hunch in Dick's shoulders.
"… Bruce, I already know in my heart that I needed Robin and now I need Nightwing. I discovered that after I left the manor and fled to Jump. It's just that… Wally was part of Robin. This break is just a needed timeout of being me. I don't know if you understand… because no matter what you've always found some sanctity in being Batman… We're different people, but I know now that you never come to me without some advice… What would you do?"
He circled his way to face Nightwing once more. Bruce pulled down his own mask. "Come to terms with yourself, with Wally. Be there for Artemis and the rest of your friends. It's not about ignoring phone calls or blending in with the shadows to stop crime for an extended period of time. Not when you know that you've lost someone."
The younger hero's hands loosely removed his own mask, revealing the torment buried deep within his blue eyes. "It's only been a month, Bruce… I know from experience that I can move on from death, but I was young. I may be in college right now and running away like some child, but I can't even bring myself to look at the gravesite Artemis and Wally's family set up for him… I feel hollow and confused, broken. We as heroes fight every day, every moment of our lives to save the innocent… but just because we wear these masks, it doesn't make us any less innocent than those that we save."
"The difference is, we have the ability and the heart to save mankind. With or without superpowers, we know this is what we want. Our role is just that. Wally was no different. Being Kid Flash, he knew and believed that too."
He clenched his fist, words being spilled in controlled anger. "But he retired. He wanted to stop. He was done and I dragged him back…" His eyes were forced away as tears threatened to fall.
"He agreed because he knew that you, his best friend, needed him."
"Some friend I am…"
"Richard, look at me." His hands were brought down onto his son's shoulders, forcibly turning him so they were face to face. "You don't have to pretend that you're alright. You don't have to lock any feelings inside. And you definitely don't have to run away. All you need right now is closure as Dick Grayson. I know that you don't always want me over your shoulder or telling you what to do… but right now I'm speaking as your father. Take a good look at what you're doing, who you are. Go to his gravesite, mourn, cry, scream, I don't care. Just let these feelings out before they bottle up and tear you apart. Stop being Nightwing and be a human being." His voice was almost pleading yet laced with strictness, knowing the plague of blame. "Robin, Nightwing, they may be part of you, but don't let them consume you completely. Reality isn't kind to us. It's staring death in the face every day. Just don't let that fear take over your heart."
A tear slipped down the side of his cheek as his head fell forward, leaning against Bruce's chest. He wanted nothing more but this to be all a nightmare. The desire to wake up stormed his brain. His need to open his eyes settled on reality. His voice was hardly audible. "…Okay."
It stood in front of him. A grave marked by chiseled letters on hard stone. Wally West. November 11, 1994- June 20, 2016. He was only twenty one. They had a two year age difference, but now the one looking down at the rock would outgrow the other.
It was raining as it should be, only a few drops here and there, enough to dampen the soil. Old flowers remain close to the words, wilting away as time passed.
Dick felt almost uncomfortable being outside of his uniform. He wore sunglasses to cover his eyes out of habit. On many occasions, before Wally knew his identity, he would try to snatch them off his face. But Robin was wise to Kid Flash's game and always ducked or tripped his speeding friend before he got the chance. The acrobat would always win. It only took eighteen months before the team was even formed for him to expose his identity to his friend, holding a level of trust between them where his secret would be kept… right to the grave.
His hand slowly removed the frames, freely revealing his unreadable eyes. "Wally…" His voice was shaky. His fist abruptly tightened around the glasses. He ruthlessly slammed them onto the dirt, letting a yell of frustration crack the silent graveyard. His breathing was rapid as his fingers became coverage for his weakening eyesight.
A soft voice broke the air. "Are you alright?"
"I've been better…" He felt her walk past as his eyes drilled into the ground, not wanting to chance the meet of her face. Flowers were placed next to the old. The solemn background now flourished into a pristine gesture, just by a splash of vibrant color mixed with the dismal grey.
She looked at him, her gaze being his comfort. Her eyes cast a heartfelt, welcoming revisit to the past. "You haven't been around for a while. I was getting a little worried."
"I know. I'm sorry, I just…" He trailed, losing his momentum of thought. "Artemis, I wanted to apologize for…" His voice fell flat as he felt her warm hand touch his face.
"Please, don't. Wally and I, we knew what we were up against… It doesn't make everything alright, but…" Her eyes closed, not having the desire to continue. The blonde knew that a month had passed, but the pain was ripened every time her gaze came upon a photograph. Becoming Tigress was her escape route, however even that had a faulty refuge.
"It never does, does it?" His hand took hers and lowered it, releasing her fingers. "We know but for some reason our uniforms make us feel almost invincible. Then there comes a time like this when we realize that reality has a crushing blow. This lifestyle doesn't get easier… I understand why you retired and I once contemplated the very idea, but it wasn't right for me. Now I… just don't know."
Sentiments always dangled insecurely on her lips, but she knew those words wouldn't shield them forever. "Don't blame yourself, Dick. We wanted to help. It's just heartbreaking to fully see and feel the price of being a hero." The sense of a hand that gripped onto her heart, she could no longer feel its presence. That didn't mean that the existence was forever gone, he was just no longer by her side.
"It makes me wonder if it was all worth it in the end… but then I remember how many people we've spared from this feeling and it gets a little better."
"I know…" The feeling of losing half your soul was enough to shed a never ending stream of despair mixed with tears of a shattered heart. Her voice filled with gratitude as she looked below, to the memorial stone. "Thank you."
He kept his stare forward as her voice reaching his ears. "For what?"
"For coming here and for being Wally's best friend. He used to love talking about the days when you and him would run around as Robin and Kid Flash, getting in and out of trouble…" A small smile formed before fading to a frown. "I know that he was furious about me taking my bow and arrow off the shelf. He was afraid that I would find comfort in its security again. But I couldn't… not until he was by my side, there to catch me when I fell. That's when I felt that Artemis was more than just a girl under her homemade mask, wanting to be a hero." She fought the urge as her eyes began to water. "I used to tease him and act superior around him because I had that crush on him." Her voice broke as she faced him again. "Then after being with him for five years…and now…" She couldn't fight the tug any longer and gave into her emotions.
He wrapped her in a needed hug, for the both of them. "I know… same here."
She pulled away after a few moments and wiped her eyes with her palm. "I should get going. You should smile. Wally wouldn't want you to be so upset." Artemis turned away from him. Her footsteps faded, leaving marks in the soft dirt as the only sign that she had been there at all.
Dick stood there for what seemed an eternity, not uttering a single syllable. His thoughts raced. His arms lay weakly by his side. His mouth remained dry as his eyelids lowered. His voice barely broke a distinct decibel.
"Wally… you used to be like an older brother to me. I never had one before, being an only child and then having younger siblings added to the family. I've decided that I still want to be a hero. I think you'd ridicule me if I said that I couldn't anymore… I want to say that I'd take your place in an instant, that I would have stopped you if I could, but knowing you… You'd lightly shove me and say that I was the one being overwhelmed by a choice that you knew you had to make… I'll still apologize… but not because I'm taking the blame, or for you becoming Kid Flash again. No…" He paused, fighting the resistance to sew his mouth shut once more. "I'm sorry for taking Artemis away from you. It was selfish. I didn't even ask you how you felt. And now I permanently took you from her. She's alone. She'll move on though. Her heart is strong and you always have a place in there… I'm sorry for all of those ridiculous arguments we got into… but most importantly… I'm sorry that I didn't come here sooner to give you my word that I will always be there for her and your family. I can't think of anything more that an older brother would want… but I know… you wouldn't request it to be the opposite… I still can't understand why or how it all went wrong. The planet was saved. I should be happy, moving on, but instead I'm stuck. If you were here beside me right now, I know you'd slap me upside the head for this but… that's what best friends are for, to knock some sense into you."
The rain had stopped without his notice and the clouds broke apart. Small rays of sunlight poked holes through, creating a thin coating of light. Dick lowered his hand to the grave. The tips of his fingers ran past the name never meant to be there. His voice was somber. "Goodbye, Wally. I'll miss you, but… you know how it goes… it's what we do."
As his own shadow began to form, he closed his eyes, letting out a heavy burden as he stood up. "In the end though… I don't want to believe it had to be this way."