A/N: A stupid one-shot badfic I wrote while waiting for inspiration on my fifth Marauder story! Done in the style of the dreaded Mary-Sue fanfic, it is so bad, it is bad. Sorry if you also wanted bad spelling/grammar, I can't write like that, because it physically pains me. There will be lots of awkward-sounding sentences and redundancies, though. Ignore A/Ns in the middle of the story as being serious. Enjoy.

And yes, I am quite aware that werewolves don't have yellow eyes normally.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Harry Potter, much as I wish I did...

Hi! My name is Serenity Sapphire Starr, but I hate my name, so I just go by Ren. I have long, golden hair that flows down to my back like a liquid-gold waterfall. There is also a scar on my cheek that I really really hate. I have yellow eyes like limpid tears, something people always comment on, since no normal person has eyes that color.

The thing is, I'm not a normal person. My father, a very influential wizard (I'm a pureblood) offended the werewolf Fenrir Greyback (Yeah, the one that bit Remus!) and one night, when I was one, he bit me. I never even had the chance to be a normal child. I've been a werewolf for as long as I can remember. I'm fourteen now, but I never went to school before because I was really scared of being rejected by any friends I might have made. Mom home-schooled me instead, and I was really good at everything.

I was really nervous, because today was my first day at Hogwarts. I woke up early, brushed my hair and put a ribbon in it, and picked out my outfit. I put on a soft blue top with sequins on it and designer with embroidered flowers. I pulled on my black ballet flats and put on a little concealer. (My eyes still had dark circles underneath them from last night's full moon.) I also put on sparky eye shadow, even though I don't normally I then skipped happily down to breakfast.

"Good morning, mom!" I chirped as I sat down.

"Good morning, darling!" My mom cooed as she put a plate of food in front of me. I began to wolf it down (get it?) quickly. When I was done, we went to the train station.

Platform 9 3/4 was crowded with students. Mom kissed me goodbye (my dad left us after I was bitten) and I set off to look for a compartment. My midnight black owl, Midnight, hooted softly at me as I chose an empty compartment and sat down.

Sirius POV

I pushed James, snorting at him. "You idiot, everyone knows that the Weird Sisters are way better than Celestina Warbeck!"

"Are you kidding?" James gushed as we made our way to our usual compartment. "The only better looking girl in this world-no, this galaxy, than Celestina Warbeck is Lily Evans!"

"Here we go again," Remus grumped, rolling his yellow eyes. He looked like crap, still beat up from the full moon the night before.

"Did you know that we're going to get married and have two kids, Harry James and Hannah Lily?" James continued. I sighed. James had had a crush on Lily Evans since the day he first saw her. Me, on the other hand, not so much. I'd kissed lots of girls at Hogwarts, but none of them was exactly my type. Remus and Peter never kissed anyone, Remus because he was afraid of rejection, and Peter because he wasn't very attractive.

I pulled open the door to the compartment that we usually sat in, only to find the most beautiful girl in the world was already sitting there. She was slender, with curves in all the right places and long legs. Her blond hair flowed down her back like a shimmering waterfall. There was an ugly scar on her cheek, but it didn't diminish her beauty for a second. She looked at us with yellow eyes like limpid tears. I realized right then that she was a werewolf like Remus. Huh.

"Well, hello," I said smoothly, sitting next to her and smoothing my hair. "I'm Sirius, Sirius Black. Who are you?"

The girl blushed prettily, looking down. "Serenity Starr, but you can call me Ren," she whispered. She held out a slender hand and I took it, holding on for a moment longer than necessary, relishing the softness of her skin.

"Hi Ren, I'm James Potter," James said as he sat next to me. He ruffled his hair, making her laugh. Her laugh sounded like the chiming of a bell.

"Remus Lupin," Remus said quietly as he sat across from me. His eyes lingered on hers and she gasped softly.

"You're a werewolf, aren't you?" she whispered. Remus nodded.

"Yeah, I am. But so are you, aren't you?" he asked. She nodded, looking down.

"I can leave, if you want," she murmured.

"Please don't," I begged. "We don't mind, I mean, we've been friends with Moony for ages now and never wanted to leave-"

"Except when he keeps telling us to study," James joked, and we all laughed. "We used to have another friend, Peter, but he got stuck in a chimney using Floo powder and died last week." (I hate you, Peter! Go die in a chimney!)

"Oh, that's so awful!" Ren gasped. She looked like she was about to cry.

"Oh, it's alright, Ren," I soothed. "He wasn't a very good friend anyway."

"Oh," Ren shrugged. "Okay, then."

"Anyway, we're working on becoming Animagi to help Remus with his transformations," James smirked. "We haven't gotten it yet, but we're pretty close!"

We spent the rest of the train ride laughing and joking, and I could tell we would be great friends. I hoped it would turn into something more, though. Ren was perfect for me, and I for her.

When the train stopped in Hogsmeade, Ren had to leave to go with the first years.

"Bye, Artemis!" I murmured.

"Artemis?" she inquired.

"Yeah, it's your new Marauders nickname!" I gushed. "See you at the feast?"

"Sure," she leaned forward and kissed me briefly on the cheek before disappearing into the crowd. I stood there, dumbfounded, staring after her.

A/N: Okay, I think my writer's block is gone now! Yes! Not a very good badfic, but who cares? I was bored. I might post more of these to alleiviate my boredom... you know, more examples of Mary Sues? Ahh, whatever. I have better things to do with my time. But whatever. I need to get back to my real story. This was a great cure for writer's block, though!

Until next time,

-Dndchk