"Wake up, sleepy head!" The voice was muffled and far away. Karkat tried to remember if he'd heard it before, but it remained unknown to him.
"Ughh..." Karkat grumbled. Who was the dumb shit talking to him this time? This had better be good.
"Well... actually, don't wake up! Because you're asleep now..." the voice rambled on. "So if you woke up... you'd leave..."
Karkat forced open his eyes to the sight of two green orbs staring back at him. They were very close- he could see his surprised reflection quite clearly in them.
"GAH! Jade!" He quickly rolled away from her and sprung up. He glared at the human girl, "Don't you know what personal space is, or is that concept unknown to humans?!"
"Yeah, it's like the space around someone where they don't feel comfortable for others to go..." Jade grinned.
"Well, you were just in mine!" The young troll glared. "Who said you could do that?!"
"Oh, loosen up, Karkat!" She giggled and skipped over to a demented looking tree. "I'm soooo glad you're here!"
"Where the hell are we!? And why is it so fucking dandy that I'm here?" He looked around. The room was large and filled with old, dusty, human things. An old man stood in the corner, staring blankly ahead.
"Are we in your 'house', or whatever humans call it?" Karkat made a face. The whole place was covered in decorations of all sorts. Red and green and white. Maybe this was some kind of human... ceremony. "Who is that strange man in the corner? Is that your human lusus?"
"Yes, and yes!" Jade responded as she put more decorations on a tree that was standing near a wall of the room. "We're in a dream bubble, if you haven't already figured that out. My grandpa and I are celebrating Christmas!"
"Christ... mas?" He tried the word out aloud. "What kind of dipshit human ceremony is 'Christ-mas'?"
Jade stopped and glanced at Karkat. She sometimes forgot about the cultural differences between humans and trolls. "It's a human celebration on the 25th of December," she explained. "We put up a big tree, decorate it, and eat lots of cookies! And we get each other presents and sing songs!"
Jade sat down next to the tree and picked up a present. "See? This one is from Santa Claus."
Karkat frowned. "Who the fuck is Santas Claus? Why is he giving you presents?" He walked over to get a closer look at the present. It was a box shape, covered in green wrapping and a red ribbon. He sat down and took it from her. Sure enough, the tag read, 'To Jade, From Santa Claus'.
She smiled. "Santa Claus is the jolly old man who brings everyone presents on Christmas. He comes in the middle of the night on his sleigh, which is pulled by flying reindeer! He comes in through the chimney and drops off the presents under the tree. Then he eats the cookies that people leave out for him and goes off to
the next house!"
Karkat stared at her in disbelief. "Are you telling me that some strange man
shoves his fat load down your chimney, leaves gifts for you, and then eats your
cookies!? Isn't that fucking ILLEGAL AND CRAZY!? Who would even fucking believe
that!?"
Jade giggled. "It's just a legend we tell the 'human grubs'." She added finger quotations around the alien words. "The presents are all bought by family or friends!"
"Wait, so this Santa fucker takes credit for buying all the gifts too?! He sounds like an asshole; this holiday is weird!"
Jade just rolled her eyes and sighed. "Try to be more culturally sensitive, Karkat.
Plus, that's not JUST what Christmas is about!"
He leaned back and eyed the human girl as she smiled down at the wrapped present. "Oh, really? Please enlighten me as to what this ridiculous celebration is about, then. I'd LOVE to know."
"Okay, since you asked," she said happily, ignoring his sarcasm.
Karkat groaned and rolled his eyes.
"Christmas is about family and spending time with the people you care about! Or, at least, that's what I learned from TV shows... It's only ever been me and Gramps for Christmas here..."
Karkat watched as a tinge of sadness made its way into Jade's expression. He suddenly realized why she was so happy to see him there. She'd been all alone on this island for the first 13 years of her life, with only that creepy stuffed corpse. He didn't care about this stupid human holiday, but it seemed like it mattered to her. And she'd never actually experienced one surrounded by the people she loves.
Karkat suddenly stood up, determined to do something about this. Jade stared up at him from the ground. "Karkat...? Karkat?!" She watched in surprise as he clutched his head and pulled on his hair frustratedly.
"HOW DO I WAKE UP!?" He yelled. "WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP!"
"Karkat, what the fuck?" Jade picked herself off of the floor. "What're you doing?"
"ARRGHHHHHH! WAKE THE FUCK UP, YOU NOOKSUCKER!"
"Karka-"
"I NEED-"
"KARKAT!"
"-TO WAKE-"
"KARKAT!"
"-UP!"
"OH MY GOSH, SHUT UP!" Before Jade could think twice, she had slapped him across the face. She watched as he fell to the floor. "KARKAT, I'M SORRY! I meant to smack some sense into you, but- ...Karkat?"
He was gone; her slap had done the trick. Jade sighed and wandered back to the tree she and Dave had made together all that time ago. Now she was alone for yet another Christmas. She wished John and Davesprite would take a nap, so she would have at least them for company…
She approached the Kringlefucker tree, pondering the pile of presents sitting underneath. She had even made sure to get a present for everyone, just in case they showed up.
Jade picked up the small, black radio and sat down by the tree. She turned it on to a Christmas station and started singing. However hard she tried to stay in the Christmas spirit, she couldn't help herself from feeling lonely. She sighed and tried to swallow down the horrible feeling in her throat.
Jade tried concentrating on the Christmas carols instead.
'Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way...'She sang half heartedly. 'Oh what... fun... it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh... Jingle-HOLY SHIT!"
Right before her eyes, people began to materialize on the floor. Dave, Rose, Kanaya, Terezi, and, last of all, Karkat.
"Hello, Jade." Rose smiled as she and Kanaya approached.
"Greetings, Jade human." Kanaya said. "We were told there was some kind of... party?"
She just stared at all of them in disbelief. She quickly stood up, tears of happiness leaking from her eyes. "IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!" She exclaimed.
"Yo, Harley." Dave snatched the radio from her hands. "I'll pick some sweet tunes for us."
"And I'll help." Terezi grinned. She and Dave scuttled away and began playing with the radio stations.
"They'll pick something that'll make my brain fucking rot, I just know it," Karkat complained.
Jade giggled and sat down by Karkat. "I don't mind!" She scooted closer to him. "Karkat, did you do this for me?"
He crossed his arms and looked away. "Maybe, what does it matter!? You said
Christmas is for being with people you care about, so... I just thought it was
appropriate, ya know..."
"...Thank you..."
He felt something soft against his cheek and he involuntarily placed his hand in the same place. He watched as Jade retracted from the kiss, grinning at him.
Her eyes suddenly widened. "That means you're my Christmas present!" Jade began clapping. "I need a bow!" Spotting the red bow on the present from Santa Claus, she snatched it up and plopped it on Karkat's head.
"Hey, who said you could do that?!" He yelled. "And that is the cheesiest thing I've ever fucking heard in my life!"
Jade just laughed and began to sing along to the shitty Christmas themed rap station playing on the radio.
Karkat tried to keep a small smile off his face as he watched her dance to the tunes. "Merry fucking Christmas, Jade."
"Merry Christmas, Karkat!" This was all she ever wanted in a Christmas. It didn't matter to her that this was all in a dream bubble; spending this time with her friends meant the world to her.