DISCLAIMER: I do not own The 'Angel Beats!' Series, it's characters, setting, story lines or plot. I only own OC Characters found in this Fan Fiction.

SUMMARY: All alone in a world he couldn't understand. He wanted a way out. Hoping that the light would shine his way, despite his actions in the distant past. One option would be given to him. One Shot, OC Centric, 1st Person Perspective

Complied Thoughts: Realization

I'm Stuck...

I have absolutely no idea where I am; What I am doing here. The only information I could possibly gather is that I'm in a school of sorts. There are other students and teachers present in this school, but it doesn't feel right. I can feel it right in my chest, that none of this should be happening. Yet I decide to go with the flow, listening in class, chatting with others, taking the test.

But what do I get in the end...

Do I obtain something for doing these...

Is there even a point in doing this...

Nothing feels right in this world, but everyone present here acts as if nothings wrong. Maybe it's because thats how they are. Although who am I to say that, I judge people to quickly, almost all the time. That's probably a flaw in itself, but also a valuable strength that I possess. If it weren't for that I probably wouldn't be thinking this way at all.

The only thing that feels off here is that nobody goes home, or that's what I think. When the time usually hits six pm people start to vanish from the premise, but I don't. I've always wondered if I'm special or a mistake. I followed literally everything to the book, yet I don't join my classmates to another place I'm unaware of.

I didn't like that fact. Slowly but surely my knowledge widened, of where I am and what I'm doing here. I don't know much but all I can possibly infer is that I died some time ago; I winded up here for some amounted reason. When I think of it logically, all of this wouldn't make any sense, however if you think of this from a religious stand point, then it would make sense.

I've studied religion only because my school required such in my previous life. The religion we took up was along the lines of Christianity and catholicism. In this religion there is such thing as an after life. That said after life consists of Heaven, Purgatory and Hell. Thinking about it, I obviously didn't wind up in heaven.

If I did, I would probably be in a peaceful, worry free environment, but that isn't the case. The fact that I think this way, means I didn't wind up in heaven. Purgatory doesn't sound like a far stretch for me to wind up in. I mean it is a place for souls to be in for repenting for their sins. At the same given time they will become worthy of going to heaven, after a period of time. I could be in that process right now.

Hell, I don't think so. If I did wind up in such a place, I would be in limbo. Limbo is a sort of purgatory except unqualified of entering to heaven. I wouldn't be any other circle of hell, because if I was. I would be suffering and dying on repeat.

That's what I think and if my thought is right, I should be in in limbo or purgatory. This means I have a fifty percent chance of meeting the being resonsible, god. That's right god, that ever so benevolent being that allows hie very beloved creation to stray away from him. To me that wouldn't make sense at, but who am I to judge an Omnipotent being such as god. I have no right to judge, but I do have the right to ask.

I have only one objective now and it's a very peculiar gamble. A gamble that change the change my destiny.

I will meet god.

I may have deciphered the being responsible, but I never really thought of how... how I could meet this being. I know that being is supposedly all – present. Only in spirit never in form.

Wait...

A being such as god could chose to be in physical of spiritual form whenever he wishes. That means he could be among one of these persons.

A teacher?

A student?

What could he possibly be? What form have you taken upon? Where could he be possibly hiding? I should keep trying, but I get the feeling that I should give up as well. I mean how do you find a being that a human can't see nor touch. God... How do I meet you? I have so many questions to ask, since I ain't entitled to judging you.

Tsk! This isn't doing me any good. I have to find a solid way in meeting god. Or else I'll get nowhere, here there or anywhere!

...

I will meet god, no matter what!

…

First, I have to make a thorough search of all my options, make a run down as it were. If I think about my first option would be praying. Yes, praying the spiritual link between god and his creation. We, humans, communicate with god though our hearts. This is what I was told in my previous life. I'm not sure whether that be the truth and all, but I must consider everything.

My second option then would be, corporal and spiritual works of mercy. If I can some how have god aknowledge me for the good deeds I have done. God may then have an audience with me. However this option will exercise my ability to be earnest in true. If I mess it up with such an intention, it will fail indefinitely.

My final option would definitely be questioning. No, not that kind of questioning. What I mean is questioning the very existence of this world. I would have to judge and crtic every detail of this very world. If I can alter such a world through a device or command, it would help immensely. This way god would question me, on why I am doing such a thing?

This is it, I have thought of every way possible in creating an audience with such a being. Now all I have to do is act. Act upon the options I have thought of. These may not be full proof, but I want an answer. An answer to my infinite gallery of questions.

I've told myself that I would implement every single plan into play. I must attempt to shatter such glass with my own hands. There will be an ending result, no matter how pretty or ugly the other side of the painting may be. A conclusion must be presented!

...

One... Two... and... Three...

…

So far I have only come up with three possible and rational options available to my said disposal. Now, I must make haste of all my options. The first option I must make priority of is prayer. Prayer is a praying the spiritual link between god and his creation. We, humans, communicate with god though our hearts. Clenching my hands together I pray. Hoping I could take the easy way out of this death despairing limbo of a purgatory.

'

Dear Lord, do answer my be-conning call.

I your humble yet arrogant creation call upon you.

I have been made in your image, with a chance.

A small but tiny chance at conversing in person.

I do wish to meet with...

Make contact...

Do please give me the honor...

I beg of such, if you had must bring me to such a realm.

Then there must be a purpose to my underlying existence.

You have killed me and...

I have killed others.

However in keeping me in such a place...

There had must be a reason.

What am I?

What of me?

Why chose me?

I cannot find another being such as I in this predating realm.

So I ask thee once more, Why?

If you find it in the bottom of your benevolent heart to answer me.

Please do...

I your humble yet arrogant servant call upon you...

My creator...

God.

'

I looked at the dazzling sunset presented to me. I have finished praying; not expecting to get answer just yet. What I expect to come in the near precedent to be signs. Signs of a suggestive reply from the one being. That one being that I wish to meet. That one being that I wish to question. All of it's doing to it's own creation. With that out of the way my next task would be Works of mercy, physical and spiritual.

I would not wish to do my second option for these people have no life. The persons that I observe in this lifeless realm. They have no life. I believe that each person... NO... each being and entity here, are stereotypes of human beings! I wish to say nothing more, for it would disgrace myself and the race of humans.

I have already done my final option. Judging and crticing this blasphemous of a world. Now all I need to do is wait. By waiting I will be given my my sign. God's answer to my prayer of nonsense.

I've been waiting for some sort of sign from a supreme being. Yet, I have not been given such privileged nor honor to receive such. Waiting in the classrooms, fields, stairways, everything. This being has yet to answer my foolish yet truthful prayer. There are stories of this being... that he would not answer all.

I know this for a fact for I have prayed to him once when I live my days on earth. And when I prayed... I have given... absolutely nothing. That being has yet to answer me.. Talking like this may appear to others, that I believe that I am on a higher position, but... I can't help it. Due to my human nature and past life, I continue to act as such.

…

It is obviously nothing to be proud of, because it only brought about hatred in each person's heart. I have only made enemies and zero allies to begin with. I don't deserve an answer from god, but what I do deserve is a pathway to god. If the almighty had created such a realm, there must be some sort of clue.

Yes I admit to failure... I admit it to the fullest!

Now with that out of the way, I have absolutely zero clues at my hand. I have already failed in my attempt to reach god...

So...

Now what?

With absolutely no hope of returning, or any hope at all. What one art should I do. I can walk around the same endless scenery of school life. I can make fake chit chat with unfeeling or stereo typed persons in this unforgiving realm. I can take tests; decide to ace them or not.

As of now, I am at a knife's edge...

If this keeps up, I might just go insane...

I do truly wish to leave this hellhole of a realm or world. Whoever had such a blatant mind to create such? What is because they were truly; genuinely bored that you know they decided to create this.

I sigh at such. That would be truly low of them. High ranked beings who are superior in every right, I have no right in my mind to judge such.

I had kept my head down, standing on this barren rooftop, there was absolutely nothing to do.

I can't even die...

If I could have a light perhaps, then that would enchant my life.

The wind breezed right though me, thought my hair and cloths. It simply felt refreshing. I turned around only to be surprised.

Right in front of me was a chair, shining in all it's glory, on it's own producing light.

Did that wooden chair just sparkle a ray of light?

The light continued to shine upon the chair... No the chair was producing it's own light... But how on earth would that be possible? According to science, only a star or a source of energy can produce such. A chair wouldn't have any of that!

Why?

How is this possible?

Wait... Take a different perspective of the situation... Yes, if I do that, I can come to a reasonable conclusion that will satisfy me.

Now, let's see where this would be possible. Obviously we would have to take science or any form of rationality out of the picture. Throw it in the trashcan and lock it up; that way I won't be disturbed. Think...

Think...

What can be one possibility that allows this chair to break all forms of phenomena.

Think...

Think...

Think...

That's it, this can only mean one thing and one thing only. This is a work of god himself. Religion or any ancient written scripture will speak of god's greatness. This being has the ability to do as it pleases. Yes, how could I forgot such a trivial fact? The ever potent, almighty and benevolent being that created the very world; realm that I have and am residing in.

Does this mean that my very prayer, that one attempt of forging a connection with one I truly wish to speak to... has been finally answered... in the form of a sign? If so this means my plan can be executed to the fullest. I must make haste; there is absolutely no time to lose. Even though that very aspect seems to have no affect on me.

Residing or being subjected to this realm hath made me come to a realization of day. That every thing is possible, no matter how impossible one must set his dreams. It will come to light, one of these fading days.

Haha... even I make myself laugh now. I had never expected this to happen, but I am grateful as to date. It would seem that god would truly wish to meet me in person. In his holy chamber for his subjects. There is no greater honor that I could accept today.

If it so be his will, to meet with such, so it will be done.

That chair was only the tip of the ice-burg. As time passed various objects suddenly moved on their own such as a basketball. It was completely docile; lying on the wooden court, yet as I approached it. It rolled away from me.

That's right, the most absurd thing occurred.

A basketball, non-living object, moved on it's own accord.

Hahaha...

I shake my heads towards such a gesture or action. If I allow myself to swayed by such, who knows what could possibly happen to my own being.

I venture into various acts of making contact with the one.

God...

Yes, that chair, basketball, pencil and various objects that either spew light from nowhere or move freely. Must certainly be signs or responses to my selfish request in an attempt to make an audience with him.

I continually walk around this empty world, realm of nothingness, place of fakes. Each person continues to do the same boring actions my fellow humans have been doing for an eternity. To top it off these person existing in this realm expect me.

Are completely fake.

They aren't genuine.

I make my final round to the last classroom, that I haven't even bothered to check. I open the sliding door and take a few steps inside. I turn my head left and right. I only see the usual.

Chairs...

Tables...

Cubbyholes...

Ceiling Fans...

Lights...

Windows...

You name it, it's all here. You could even win an 'Eye Spy!' type of a game in this exact location. I sigh and decide that this venture was for naught. Slowly I walk towards the screen door of this very classroom. Step by step I get closer to my objective.

Until...

A flash of light?

Everlasting darkness?

Something was bluing my vision...

I can't see anything, this immense power and aura is be-wielding me. Standing in front of this chalkboard, a light is captivating me. Nobody else is in the premise, then may I assume that this is only for my eyes only?

What could this be?

I glance upon the blurried sight fo a table. Slowly but surely, the lioght began to fade, which allows be to see crystal clear. I rub my eyes. Only for a moment. Lifting one hand from my eye, I could see a small enclosed container siting aloff the table.

A disk?

This is quite the discovery! I mean... finally I can get some sort of flying answer out of this realm. It's been quite a long time; finally I have been gifted with an answer.

What for?

I may actually be happy for once. This is really sanctifying to me, I mean for decades, centuries, I have waited in this realm. I know. I know. This is quite out of character for me. My reactions, speech have all differed due to this one act of joy. I've been longing of joy ever since the beginning. Maybe that's how I ended up in this precautions realm.

I take a stroll with the disk in hand, passing by the same old scenery but with a different outlook towards it. Not animosity neither joy, just subtle neutralness. Hehe, I've never felt this way in such a long time.

I took my time to enter the library. Taking a closer look around this normal library, strolling around for one working computer or desktop.

Now, let's see the contents of this disk

Author's Note: Review, Follow or Favorite if you please. To be continued with another One Shot Story.