A really short piece that looks at the aftermath of what I think happened at the end of book 48. I actually wrote this a few weeks back but didn't like how it sounded. Was bored earlier today so I tinkered with it some more. I think it's decent now =)
The usual copyright BS. I don't own Animorphs and I ain't makin any money off this.
~The Last Ronin~
"So what if you can see, the dark inside of me, no one will ever change this animal I have become."
~Three Days Grace, Animal I Have Become
I fly back to camp in a daze. I feel empty, hollowed out - like someone has scooped out my insides. Or maybe I just left them in a puddle of vomit back in that alley.
The gravity of what I've done weighs me down and I crash to the ground. My bones shatter with the impact, but I don't feel it. I don't feel anything.
People come running, yelling my name I think. But I barely hear them. I demorph because I need to; not because I want to. I just want to die.
Hands on me, shaking me. Shouting, screaming, crying. I can't be here. I begin to walk. Someone grabs me and I pull away. They begin to follow. I begin to run. Maybe if I'm fast enough I can escape this emptiness. Maybe I can escape myself.
They let me go. Except him of course, he follows me. Tears start rolling down my cheeks. He's keeping an eye out for me like he once promised he always would. A small part of me is glad. He's the only person I really want to see right now. The rest of me, however, is terrified. What if he knows? What if he hates me for what I've done?
I stop, gasping for breath. My legs shake violently and I sit before they give out on me. Suddenly something infinitely worse grips my mind. If he hates me...how will I...? Please no. Anything else I can bear, but not that.
Oh God! Surely he'll know, he'll see! I have to get out of here! I can't let him know!
I start to get up but a pair of arms encircle me tightly.
He doesn't say anything; just holds me while I cry.
How has it come to this? How did I become this cold, this cruel? I can't do this anymore. I can't live like this...with this...I...
What have I become? When this war started I was a barely teenage girl who loved shopping and gymnastics and spending time with my friends and family. Now though...I'm not even sure I'm human anymore. I hadn't needed to accept the Crayak's offer for that to be true.
"Please...someone help me," I cry silently. But it's too late. Not even Tobias' love can save me. Nothing can.
I'm already a monster.