Title: Cat Shadows (1/?)
Author: Prospero Hibiki
Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, UPN, Fox and WB Network. In no way are these aforementioned characters being used for my own personal profit, and this is not meant as an infringement of the copyright owned by any of the above entitys.
Rating: R (to be on the safe side)
Timeline: Immediately following the Season 2 episode "Halloween"
Spoilers: So far anything through "Halloween" is fair game...maybe more later.
Classification: Alternate Universe, anything else will become obvious as time passes.
Summary: Xander's possession during his sophomore year of high school did more to screw up his life than even he had thought at the time. Could what he'd considered his greatest failing be turned into an ability he could use, or would it ruin his second chance at happiness?
Author's Comments: After kicking this story around in my head for several months I've decided that I'd like to post the prologue to see if anyone thinks it has promise. That's actually pretty much it. I'll probably continue to write it even if people hate it, but comments from people who don't are always appreciated. Besides I kind of feel like actually posting things for a while instead of purely lurking.
xXx
Prologue: Good Lives
November 1st, 1997
I had nightmares about it for months afterwards. The loss of control that resulted from being possessed was worse than anything my parents had ever done to me. Which in and of itself is saying a lot. What's worse though was what that animal did while in my body. It was horrible. To think that I almost did that to Buffy. All the time and effort I'd spent since meeting her training my body so that I wouldn't be a liability was turned against me in one fell swoop. The others didn't notice just how much the incident changed me. I'd been planning on surprising them all with my fledgling muscles and martial arts skills, but I just couldn't continue with it afterwards. Tanaka-sensei called and called to try and get me to come back to the dojo, but I just didn't have the heart anymore. I'd tried to learn so that I'd be able to help people, but instead I almost...
It didn't happen though. That's the difference between almost and, well not almost I guess. But it was close. I swore to on Jesse's grave that I'd help Buffy against the vampires and the other things that go bump in the night. That's how I said it too. Because I think he knew then that I'd fallen for her pretty hard. Literally and figuratively I guess. Yeah that whole skateboard thing is permanently etched into my mind.
Anyway, moving on, after the whole Master thing and Buffy's death and miraculous recovery from said death a few minutes later I was pretty shaken up. I mean Buffy died. Capital D died even. If I hadn't been there we all would have joined her too. Which kind of got me thinking. I'd been an idiot about things after the whole hyena thing. I mean it'd be even more my fault if everyone died when I could have saved them if I'd only been a little more skilled as opposed to my losing control of my body. So I sucked it up and went back to the dojo. Ate a lot of crow too. Things went back to normal too. Kinda. Sorta.
I wasn't exactly Mr. Kung Fu: The Legend Continues so I started to check things out of the school library, which was strangely open during the summer. Not school stuff though. No, I might have changed, but not that much. Much reading was done over the summer partly just to get out of the house so I didn't have to deal with the drunken slobs who are nominally my guardians, but mostly I did it because I wanted to help Buffy out once she got back from her summer vacation with her dad. I mean sure I spent a lot of time with Wills but she has a life other than me, where as I really...don't. Besides there's only so much time a person can spend working out, so research it was.
Which is how I found it. It being the book on animalistic possession that we 'confiscated' from that zookeeper's office that night. I guess Giles thought it wasn't a problem anymore since the ritual was so complex, even if it had been completed accidentally. Whatever the reason was G-man obviously didn't read it all that closely if he did at all because I found out one night about three weeks after school started. Found out what? Not much really. Just that being possessed like I had been had made me more susceptible to possession than I was before.
Needless to say I wasn't happy. I'd already had a rather interesting time with the local foreign exchange student/life sucking Incan mummy girl. Not fun. So finding this out while already bummed was just adding another brick to a load that was over the capacity of Xander-shaped beings everywhere.
I don't know why I didn't tell the others about it though. I mean it's a pretty big thing that I kept secret. I guess I figured that I could take care of the problem on my own. I mean, the solution to everything was right there in the book. So there weren't any worries about being at risk forever. It's just that I didn't like what the solution was. Possession. Not the full fledged possession that the hyena spirit had of me, but a more controlled version. Still having experienced it once, did I really want to go through that again willingly?
Halloween took that decision out of my hands. Well not really, but it did emphasize why going through the ritual was important. Where as everyone else had their experiences fade away, my memories of life as a soldier stuck around afterwards. Again I kept it to myself for a couple of reasons. The first was simply because if I mentioned it I'd also probably have to mention why I though they were sticking around. The second reason was kind of selfish. Because of the memories of that night I, Xander Harris, became a lean, mean, ass-kicking machine. Anyway though, I stepped up my research into what type of animal spirit I wanted to possess me.
It was Willow who found the inspiration for my final decision though. I'd been leaning towards a tiger because of their size and power, but something just didn't seem right about it. So when she found an old Watcher's diary that talked about a South American Slayer and her tame black panther, I just knew that that is what I wanted to bond with.
So here I am. Sitting inside a small utility shed in the zoo. I figure if anything goes wrong this will make it back to the gang. I really hope this works though. I don't want to put anyone else in danger, especially not the girl I...especially not Buffy. As soon as I finish writing this I'm going to start the ritual to call the spirit into me. Wish me luck. Because I sure as Hellmouth going to need it. Though if anyone is reading this then it's already too late and the whole wishing me luck thing would be sort of pointless. Still...
-Xander Harris
xXx
The final words of the ritual hang in the air for a few seconds, and nothing happens. It's really kind of disappointing. Just as I'm about to stand up a loud rushing starts to sound around me. It takes a few minutes for me to recognize it, but when I do I'm kind of shocked. It's me, or rather it's my voice chanting the ritual over and over again, sort of like the way people sing 'Row, Row, Row, Your Boat' where each person starts after the previous person finishes the first line. It's pretty damned impressive really. The circle of blood on the floor is running together towards the center, and now I can see why I wasn't positioned there. The blood is starting to form the outline of a cat around the tooth I managed to get from the biology lab. It takes a few minutes but eventually all of the blood is part of the drawing which is now moving. I remain very still as the drawing seems to notice me. It stalks towards me, something that seems quite surreal since the drawing is only two dimensional, and takes a tentative sniff at my foot.
Oh hell, it just jumped onto me. The drawing made out of blood just jumped off of the ground and is crawling over my skin. It feels really weird too. All fluid and warm. I could make any number of really lewd comparisons there if I had anything to compare it to. Well if I had anything to compare it to, and if I weren't scared out of my wits at the moment. Yeah the whole fear thing is kind of affecting my ability to make bad jokes about...well whatever is happening. My entire body is squirming, and looking at my hands it's pretty obvious why. Whatever is going on has made it so that designs are almost rippling over my skin. Lines are getting traced out over and over on my skin before fading into it so the process can begin anew. Freaky. Especially if these things are going to stick around. This certainly wasn't what I was expecting when it said bonding ritual. Still I guess that's what this is. I was expecting something more, I don't know, painful. Which is of course when the pain shoots through my right shoulder, dropping me to the ground completely.
After a few minutes the pain has gone down enough for me to speak, or rather rant. "Fucking Hell! I just had to think that, didn't I?" Pushing my way back to my hands and knees, I get a good look at my arms which, despite my earlier worries, seem completely devoid of mystical tattoos. Definitely of the good, because I think people would have a hard time accepting a dramatic increase my amount of body art. Hmmm, I wonder if Buffy would like a guy with a tattoo? Because I could do that, I could be tattoo guy. Well, maybe not tattoo guy per say, but definitely guy with tattoo.
Sitting back down I grab the book that had the bonding ritual written in it. Well the laminated photo copies of said ritual since I didn't want to risk anything happening to the original if anything went wrong. "Okay, I'm assuming everything worked out alright so the next thing I need to do is to attempt 'to summon my beast'." Nodding my head I focus on the words I needed to say to concentrate my internal energies on drawing out my inner animal. From what the book said, by consciously summoning it when needed I was making it more likely that the spirit wasn't going to take control. Of course I wasn't going to get the really cool extra strength, speed, or agility that I had when the hyena had me, but I figure the whole control thing was so much better. I'm sure Principle Flutie would agree with me.
Three fourths of the way through my chant, which thankfully is much shorter than I'd feared it was going to be, I feel a tingling coming from my shoulder which rises to a crescendo right as I finish, only to be replaced by a rushing sensation spreading rapidly from there across the rest of my body. I only have a second to notice it but I see the lines shooting across my skin once more until they're different.
I blink. Twice. I look again at my hands, picking one of them up off of the ground to be sure. Yeah. That's mine. Though I really wasn't expecting this. My hand, well, isn't. Isn't my hand, I mean. It's apparently my paw. My black, furry paw. Paws really since my other hand seems to be one too. It occurs to me that I probably have a lot of things that better belong on a cat. Which is kind of freaking me out. I mean, total wiggage here. "Rawr!" Oh my God, I just growled. I can't even speak! Scrambling around is a lot harder too. For one thing I'm not used to having to go about on all fours. For another I seem to be trapped inside my clothes. Quickly I read what I'm supposed to do to get back to being fully bipedal. Only I can't quite focus on the page. It seems I'm farsighted now as a cat. Still with some effort I manage to find out that I just need to calm down and picture being human in order to return myself to normal. Or at least return to being Xander again.
So I need to think of being human. I guess I can do that. I mean I have had almost seventeen years of experience at it. The problem is though that it's kind of hard to picture myself as human. I mean I don't really see myself much. Really I could have been a cat the whole time if it weren't for the whole talking thing. I mean I'm pretty comfortable now. I don't really need to be human do I? It's not like my parents would notice one way or another. Hell, most of the time I don't think they even know I exist except when they need me to make a run to the store for beer. I mean, my parents are practically the town joke. It's gotten so bad that the liquor store clerks sell to me even though I'm underage. I guess it'd be cool if I wanted to drink, but I don't. Ever.
God, I can't believe there's so little that makes me want to be human. I mean, apart from the gang, I really don't like my life. So I try to focus on them. Willow, of course, I've known the longest. She's practically my sister despite the fact that she wants more from me. And for a moment I thought I could give it to her too. But seeing Buffy when she came back just slammed it home. The final nail in the coffin to use an appropriately Hellmouthy metaphor. Though we don't exactly nail coffins shut anymore, do we? Yeah, I've fallen hard for the petite Slayer. I still remember the way she looked when I first saw her. The way the sun hit her hair, and the sway of her hips as she walked towards the school.
A smile comes to my face as I picture all of the time I've spent with her in one form or another over the past year. Even that dance at the beginning of the school year. Well, maybe especially that dance in the beginning of the school year. Rolling over onto my back I groan aloud and throw my arm over my face. I'm just pathetic. I'm crazy about a girl who only notices I exist when she needs to make her vampire boyfriend jealous. Well that and when I'm being hunted down by a life sucking mummy.
I blink after a moment of being depressed.
I have arms again. Which is definitely of the good. I mean not having arms would have really sucked, and not in the classic Sunnyhell "I'm a vampire" kind of way. So having arms is good.
Standing up once more I do a quick check of my body. Nothing that wasn't there before. No little reminders of this quaint little ritual. Well, except for the fact that I'm naked having kicked my clothes off while a cat.
It hits me kind of suddenly. I can now turn into a cat. I mean...wow. I'm not completely defenseless anymore. I've become a major player on the Hellmouth instantly. Grabbing my clothes I hurriedly put them on before removing all traces of my presence in the shed. Not that there's much left except the four candles that I'd lit since the blood circle and the tooth are gone. That of course reminds me about the empty pint of blood I'd lifted from the blood drive. I don't exactly want to leave it behind. Especially since it's my blood. Getting it was a real pain in the ass. Arm too I guess. Probably just another example of typical Sunnyhell blindness that no one noticed a package of blood go missing.
Looking around one last time that I haven't forgotten anything I absently nod to myself and leave through the door. Still I can't help but show a feral grin as I stalk off into the night. This is my time. Darkness is my home now. The vampires and the demons in my town will regret ever coming here. They have something new to fear in the shadows.
They just don't know it.
Yet.