AN: Sadly I don't own them... :(
You're perfect the way you are
He never liked fat people. It was probably because of his father. But the reason didn't really matter that much anymore. The real problem was that now he hated his body, loathed it, found it disgusting. Even though he worked out and ate healthy it was never good enough. It could always be even better and he knew it.
But he was also a doctor and he knew all the consequences that forcing oneself to throw up could have. And yet, here he was. In front of the toilet, dry heaving. All the food he had eaten during the day (and it wasn't much) was gone now.
Disgusted he flush the toilet and just like that, all the evidence is gone. But he can still hear the sounds that he made while puking his guts out, can still feel the acid sensation in his throat. He breathes slowly and calms himself down. He did it! He really did it!
He had never thought of himself as a bulimic. Sure, when he was younger he had put his fingers in his throat once or twice, but he never, ever saw himself as a bulimic. He wasn't sick, he was a doctor for God's sake! Eating disorders belonged to 16-year old girls with low self-esteem. And he was Dr. Perry Cox and he did not, did NOT have an eating disorder!
And so the weeks go on. JD still trying to get that hug, Jordan showing up now and then to screw with him (both literally and figuratively) and idiot patients coding on him.
He makes himself vomit at least once a day. And he isn't losing control. He doesn't have a problem. Really doesn't, actually he's feeling better than he has for a long time. He has control over his body and that makes him feel great. He's thinner, much thinner but that doesn't bother him.
The only thing is that nobody seems to notice that something is different. And though he denies it, even to himself, he would like someone, anyone, to acknowledge the fact that he isn't alright, that he isn't the invincible Dr. Cox that everyone thinks he is. Is that too much to ask?
AN: I am quite happy with this one. It started out as a longer fic first, but i decided to cut it short. And who knows, maybe I'll write a sequel someday...
Please REVIEW!!! (And please be nice...)
Again, I'm Swedish so if my English is bad please tell me!