Update 6/1/2019: There is now a companion piece to this, "Helping Luna Lovegood," up on my profile. Check it out if you like this!

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, I do, however, own orfles and porrisnuffs...

Kissing Luna Lovegood

Luna Lovegood was happy to be plowing her way through the crowded corridors of the Hogwarts Express, lugging her heavy trunk behind her. She didn't notice the whispers and stares her fuzzy lime green toe socks were attracting, nor did she care that people were sticking their legs out to try and trip her, so glad was she to be returning to school.

She was heading to the back of the train, hoping to find an empty compartment or people who would be willing to talk to her, when she heard someone call, "Luna?"

She recognized the unsure voice of Neville Longbottom almost immediately, but decided to act as though she did not know this.

"Neville?" she said, turning slowly, letting a grin stretch across her face. He hurried up to her, clearly out of breath, but managed to return the smile.

They walked down to the end of the train without saying anything else. Neville didn't mind the silence between them. Even though it made the jeers and taunts of the other students more audible, it was a peaceful quiet, and it meant he wasn't struggling to keep up with Luna's quirky comments.

Having finally noticed a compartment devoid of people, Neville tapped Luna's shoulder and nodded toward it. He stood back to let her through, then followed her in. It was easy to see why it hadn't been claimed-magical graffiti had been scrawled all over:

Hufflepuffs are full of fluff

Slytherin kicks (Gryffindor) ass!

Ravenclaw is for losers

Gryffindors have no balls

Neville pulled out his wand to try and erase it, but Luna stopped him. "Leave it," she whispered. "I'll bet it's part of the Bully Conspiracy!"

Neville looked at her blankly, taking the seat across from her. "Er, the what?"

"The Bully Conspiracy. It's basically a group of people trying to infiltrate and destroy the social standings of Hogwarts using intimidation," she explained. "Eventually, they will take over the entire school, and no one will have the guts to stop them…Daddy wrote a long article about it. I'm sure I have a copy around here somewhere, if you'd like to read it…"

"No, thanks," he said hastily. "It sounds fascinating, though."

Luna beamed at him. "You're the first person to say that, you know." Her face fell. "Everyone else laughed at me, and I can't understand why, it is a very important social issue that everyone should be aware of, don't you think?"

"Oh, yes," Neville agreed, though he, too, thought the idea of a Bully Conspiracy was quite absurd.

"Hmmm, I suppose we should move our trunks in case other people want to sit with us," Luna said suddenly.

Neville opened his mouth to say that he didn't want other people to sit with them, but somehow stopped the words just in time. Instead, he said, "Good idea."

Together, they hoisted the two trunks onto the luggage rack, but not without incident: Neville dropped one on his foot, and Luna swung the other at an orfle (an invisible creature known to paint your toenails when you aren't looking, she later told him) and ended up hitting him on the back of the head, resulting in a large lump.

After they had finally completed the task, Neville slumped over with a grunt of pain.

"Oh, I am sorry, Neville, but you wouldn't want an orfle to get you, trust me," Luna assured him, patting his arm.

He stiffened at her touch, but hoped she wouldn't notice.

"Oh no!" Luna exclaimed. "Don't tell me there's a porrisnuff in here, too!"

"Porri-huh?" Neville asked, looking around nervously.

"Porrisnuffs! You know, those animals with an icy touch that only humans can feel!" Luna said excitedly.

"Let me guess, they're invisible, too?" Neville said.

"Of course they are." Luna lowered her voice. "Just imagine the chaos that would ensue if people could see them!"

The next hour was spent arguing whether Ravenclaw or Gryffindor was better ("Intelligence is the key to success," Luna insisted, while Neville maintained that "those who are brave are the ones who are remembered") and eating the sweets they purchased from the trolley.

Looking back, Neville thought it was probably under the influence of so much sugar that he felt compelled to ask Luna if she had ever been kissed.

Luna looked rather surprised. "No," she said finally, "but this boy Robbie Nichols tried to, once. I was five."

"Oh," Neville said, feeling stupid. "That's cool, I guess."

"Was there some reason you wanted to know?" Luna was genuinely curious.

Neville knew he couldn't tell her the real reason behind his inquiry. "Erm, no."

Luna wasn't letting him off the hook that easily. "Wait!" she cried. "I know why you asked me!"

"You do?" Neville said anxiously.

"You're trying to see if you're psychic!" Luna said triumphantly. "Well, aren't you?"

"No," Neville said truthfully, then realized he should have just said yes.

"Well, is it because you want to find all the girls who haven't been kissed and murder them all?" Luna said hopefully.

Neville shook his head, both to answer Luna's question and to make himself stop staring at her lips.

"Okay, then someone is paying you to find out who hasn't been kissed? Nah, I don't like that idea as much…"

Neville had stopped listening, too busy watching her mouth and wondering why he was put in Gryffindor if he was such a coward.

You're not a coward, boy, the Sorting Hat had told him, though you do lack confidence in yourself. The day you stop being a coward is the day you stop calling yourself a coward.

Neville forced himself to listen to Luna again, but this time, for the first time in his life, he felt worthy of being called a Gryffindor.

"…or you could be inventing a sort of spell that simulates a kiss and you want me to be a tester!" Luna was still rattling off her theories.

"Or maybe you-" Luna was unable to finish her sentence due to the fact that Neville had leaned over and, without warning, kissed her.

Neville closed his eyes and waited to see if she would pull away. She did, after a moment, but did not seem abashed.

"Or maybe I just really wanted to kiss you," Neville said breathlessly.

Luna looked thoughtful. "So that's what kissing feels like? Bit awkward, isn't it? It seems rather overrated, if you ask me."

Neville chuckled weakly, unable to believe that he had finally had the courage to kiss her and she had gone and decided it was overrated.

"Maybe it just takes some getting used to," Neville suggested.

Luna's smile was shy, for once. "Maybe," she said softly, taking his hand and squeezing it. "We'll just have to wait and see."

Ahhhhh, Luna is so much fun to write! Review? The orfles and porrisnuffs will get you if you don't!