"I can't do this without you," Keith says to the empty pilot's seat, his voice breaking. He knows he won't get a response, but the silence that follows is deafening. He's never felt more alone. He doesn't feel anything from the Black Lion: she responds to him, lets him in, but there's no connection. The other paladins aren't there either: they're in healing pods, courtesy of his miserable attempt at leadership.
He leans against the base of the seat, hugging his knees in towards his chest. "I can't lead this team. I can't, Shiro, I… I need you," he gasps. He digs his nails into his palms as hard as he can, but it doesn't stop the tears.
His crying isn't loud but it's steady and relentless, and he's still huddled at the base of the seat when he hears Allura's voice echo in the hangar.
"Shiro, where are you?" Her voice is shaky as she speaks to the air; she sounds as lost as he feels. "Why can't I find you? I-" She pauses when she peers into the maw of the Black Lion. "Keith?"
He meets her eyes but he doesn't know how to respond, so he doesn't. He's too tired to even feel embarrassed, and he can see tears glistening in her eyes as well. They fall as she tells him, "Keith, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I- I still can't find him."
He can't find words, so he just manages a slight nod. She sits down next to him, letting her weight fall against him. She tips her head back. "I feel so useless," she tells him. "I have these abilities, this magic, and yet I still…"
He shakes his head and puts a hand on her shoulder. "You're doing your best," he says.
Despite everything, her lips form the barest of smiles. "That's something he would say."
He knows she doesn't mean to but her words send a fresh wave of longing coursing through his body. A sob escapes him, bereft. She wraps her arms around him and he holds onto her tightly, desperately seeking the reassurance and affection Shiro can't provide.
"I miss him," Keith says, his voice fragile and small.
"I know," she says, and she shifts, pressing her forehead against his. "We'll find him," she promises. "We have to."
He's not sure where the impulse comes from, but he's desperate for warmth, a distraction, anything to alleviate the constant ache. He closes the short distance and presses his lips to hers.
Adrift and hurting, she's in need of the same thing. She kisses him back.
It's an awkward kiss - clumsy, frantic, and devoid of romance. It's not what they should be doing, especially while Shiro's missing and the Galra are still out there and the other paladins are in cryopods, healing from grievous injuries. But it's what they both need right now, just a few minutes to feel something other than grief or anxiety or loneliness.
She parts her lips and lets him in. He explores her mouth, searching for solace. She kisses back fiercely with all the force of her pent up frustration.
Allura takes the lead and Keith's all too happy to let her. She needs to feel like she has control over something, and he just wants to submit. She tastes of salt, either from her tears or his own. It's far from sweet. His hands tangle in her hair; her nails rake at his back.
It's not entirely loveless – there is love between friends – but it's fuelled by heartache rather than passion. This isn't how it's supposed to be.
It feels wrong, but it gets their hearts racing in all the right ways, and everything hurts just a little bit less. They break for air and they pretend, for just a moment, that they aren't drowning in his absence.