Life of Lies
we first met when we were only seventeen
and you looked like something out of a dream
your long golden curls and those bright mischievous eyes
every time you looked at me my heart filled with butterflies
and I thought everything was just as it seemed
so confused by all of my family's tragedies
so many heartaches, burdens, responsibilities
and then we shared those brief but so sweet couple of months together
we shared our secret ambitions, got to know each other so much better
I thought that it was all fate, you were my escape, my true soul mate
so I shared all of my thoughts, my heart, and my soul
never realizing how quickly I was losing control
I was so infatuated that I just couldn't see
the darkness lurking in both you and me
I was blind, kept denying the future, kept sending you letters
fooled myself into thinking you could make everything better
all those nights spent making plans and intellectual conversations
and my heart and body were filled with a million new sensations
so I refused to see the truth that was right there in front of me
still thought you were an angel sent from heaven to set me free
so I can't blame you entirely for this tragedy
I let you corrupt me, I let you control me
kept making excuses to justify giving in to your temptation
our plans to make a brave new world of our own creation
falling deeper into lust with every conversation
into obsession and denial
because talking to you taught me the meaning of passion
and made me feel so wild
and so I didn't realize what we were planning until it was too late
did you ever really care or could you always feel nothing but hate?
I have to believe that there was once some good in you
that in the end you felt remorse because I found it so hard to hate you
I have to believe there was some truth in your lies
that it wasn't all just a cruel and clever disguise
and now we're both old and gray, our lives fading away
but I did what I could to make the world a better place
while you lived nothing but a life of sin and disgrace
but you still haunt my dreams, I can still see your beloved face
and now my end is coming, soon I'll be nothing but a memory
will all my secrets die with me or will anyone ever see
the truth that's there's no such thing as perfect, not even for great men like me
and I hope that someday they can forgive me
see both the light and the darkness within me
let them know the truth and see the struggle inside my heart
always warring with my conscience as my heart was torn apart