Day One.

Culture.

"Man, I fucking love Britain!"

"So I've noticed. We have to continue our mission though."

"But we haven't been in that huge Ferris wheel yet!"

"We really don't have time for that! The London Eye goes about two kilometres a day!"

"Pff. You're overreacting."

"You can walk in an out of it while it's spinning."

"Still overreacting."

"It takes ten minutes before you've finally reached the height of a ten year-old."

"Okay, that might be a bit slow.."

"Besides, you've already spent our food money on souvenirs!"

"Pff. Who needs food anyway? Besides, we can eat at the hotel."

"Yes, until they find out A.J. Schnitzel is actually a fat German guy with an unfortunate last name and too large back pockets! Something that you, obviously, are not, no matter how many times you claim to be one/forty-seventh German!"

"You have to admit I totally had that girl whipped when I used my awesome 'fat German dude' impersonation."

"All you did was use an accent!"

"Allen, my boy, you are too naïve. I was the German dude at that moment. And they believed us, didn't they?"

"Well, yes. Though I have to admit they were pretty bloody stupid for believing I was your son and that you had miraculously lost sixty kilos – and forty years, - grew red hair and lost an eye."

"True. But we had a nice day, right?"

"We went to the Imperial War museum."

"Yeah! That was so awesome!"

"We got kicked out because you felt the need to break into a tank and throw brownies at kids, yelling 'Run! It's the Germans!'"

"Ah, yeah. Good times."

"Sure, I like being hit by electricity, but don't you think it's a bit strange that you, being a German guy – as believe by English authorities, - mocks his own internationality?"

"They'll never know."

"Sure they won't."

"But don't you think it'll be a pretty damn good idea to-"

"Bloody Hell, Lavi! No, it would not be very practical for us to go skinny dipping in the Thames!"

"How did you know that?"

"Lavi, I've known you for a few years."

"So?"

"...It was a wild guess."

"Too bad though. That would've been fun."

"Might have been, though you still have all those scones sloshing around in your stomach."

"Yeah... those things did not go well with ketchup..."

"...And when were you planning to lose that 'awesome' top hat?"

"Oh, never! I'll keep it with me forever! It's so soft, and it has the national flag and everything!"

"Even the Asian tourists didn't buy one of those!"

"Well, they were too young to understand how ace this hat is! It's almost made of testosterone!"

"That must be why those girls are looking at you right now."

"Ooh! Where?"

"Not because you look demented; no, they think you're foxy."

"It sounds so much better when you say it!"

"Because of the poorly hidden sarcasm?"

"No, because you're British!"

"Should've seen that coming."

"Pretty much."

"Oh well, onto the mission then!"

"Wait! I've only seen so little!"

"Not my problem. You can always return to London, you know?"

"True, but wouldn't it be so much easier to see everything now?"

"Perhaps. I prioritize the mission, though."

"But there hasn't been any akuma yet, right?"

"True."

"So, then we have nothing to worry about, right?"

"Not exactly, but-"

"So then we can calmly take off all our clothes – except for our sexy manpanties – and dive, right?"

"What? No!"

"Sure we can!"

"Mission, Lavi! Mission!"

"But-"

"No, I will not help you break into the House of Parliament to check if people wear wigs."

"Oh, then-"

"No, I will not go with you to Westminster Abbey to laugh at dead people."

"This is starting to get really scary."

"Naturally. Now, let's start with the mission, shall we?"

"Sure thing, sweetums."

"Will we be able to take the train?"

"You know what would be really fun?"

"...No. Do you prefer the underground?"

"Walking!"

"...I prefer the train, though."

"But when we're walking, we can totally check out the surroundings!"

"...We don't have any money, do we?"

"Nope."

"At all?"

"Nope. AJ's money's gone too."

"This time it's neither mine, nor my appetite's fault."

"I blame it on the nay-sayers."

"Do I want to know?"

"Europeans."

"You do know we don't actually say 'nay', do you?"

"Of course, Brit, my dear. I was talking about the Western countries, where people actually do."

"Do they?"

"Yah."

"What?"

"It's the opposite of 'nay'."

"Mission. Walk. Western languages. Got it?"

"In that order?"

"Correction: Walk. Mission. That's it. No talk about Western languages."

"Sure thing, sugar. What should we talk about then?"

"How about not?"

"Not what?"

"Talking."

"But then that would be all quiet!"

"My point exactly."

"But then- Hey, wait! I wasn't done talking!"

"I thought we agreed about the quiet thing."

"Alleeeeen!"

--+

Wait. Where did all the culture go? o.o

I actually went skinny dipping in the Thames once.

It was bloody cold. We got arrested. ^^"