Winter Knight
By Spunky0ne
(For Ashesofthefirststar ;) who requested a story in which Ichigo pursues Byakuya. Enjoy!)
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BYAKUYA!
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On the night of his cousin's wedding to Kuchiki Tetsuya, Ichigo accidentally witnesses a private moment by Byakuya at Hisana's grave. Haunted by what he learns, Ichigo begins to look at Byakuya in a new way. But will he be able to shatter the barrier the stubborn noble keeps between the outer world and his badly broken heart? This story is yaoi and includes mpreg. Main pairing is Ichigo/Byakuya and also includes Kurushimi/Tetsuya, Aderia/Ogano and Rukia/Renji…Kurushimi, Aderia and any other Shima family appear courtesy of Shima-Taicho31.)
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Chapter 1: Secret in the Garden
Festive colored lights decorated the hedges and wrapped around the tall kido lamps that lit Kuchiki manor gardens. In the garden's center, rows of handsomely dressed guests watched as Byakuya's slender, blue-eyed cousin spoke his vows of marriage to the taller, more rakishly handsome Shima family leader. Shima Kurushimi's turquoise eyes sparked with joy as he added his own promises, and the two bowed their heads for the final blessing.
In the gathering in front of them, Byakuya looked up through unusually happy grey eyes, his lips almost smiling as he caught Tetsuya's gaze for a moment.
Be happy, Tetsuya. This is all that I have ever wanted for you. The one who I could save. You will be safer at Shima Adobe. You and your children. I was happy to have you close to me for this long, but I know this is what is best for both of us.
There are some things I just cannot protect anyone from.
He realized suddenly that Ichigo, who stood as Kurushimi's best man, was staring back at him with a questioning expression. Byakuya quickly reined in the emotion on his face and lowered his eyes. He felt that Ichigo continued to steal glances at him, but reasoned inwardly that the only way to escape the man's eyes was not to look back at them.
Ever since he came to me when I was dying…ever since he took up my task and protected Soul Society when I could not, I have felt something distressing. I feel my heart beat faster and a flush on my face. I have had that reaction before and I know that it is dangerous.
Loving someone is dangerous, so I will not let myself fall in love.
His eyes seemed to blur until the ones in front of him changed so that he was looking at Hisana and himself, dressed in beautiful clothing and taking their own vows. Hisana's sweet face smiled and she trembled as the two were invited to kiss. But as their lips touched, he felt a hard jolt in his chest and the image changed to him standing alone at her grave, holding a blue hell butterfly in his palm.
I will never again take that chance with the life of someone I love.
I will love no one.
"Ladies and gentleman," the aged head Kuchiki elder said, turning the marrying couple to face their guests, "I present to you for the first time, Shimas Kurushimi and Tetsuya!"
The applause for the newly married couple seemed to bring him out of his haze and he managed a smile as the two passed by, exiting into the next section of the gardens, where feasting and dancing areas had been set up. The elders and Byakuya followed, and were trailed by the rest of the guests.
Kuri took his place, to Tetsuya's left, first pulling out Tetsuya's chair and waiting while he sat down, then taking his own seat. Ichigo sat down beside him, and Kuri's mother and sister joined them, along with a few of the Shima elders. On Tetsuya's side, Rukia sat down beside Tetsuya, with Byakuya, Renji and Tetsuya's adoptive father, mother and two sisters at the head table.
Byakuya was grateful for the speeches and toasts that followed, allowing him to sit quietly, except during his own remarks. But speaking in front of people wasn't something that bothered him greatly. He had become very good at seeming at ease, even if he felt less so, inside.
"Tetsuya," he said, facing his smiling cousin, "you have grown immeasurably since that day we met, amidst the raid of Itamigiri. I have watched you emerge from the frail, shaking body of a prisoner, to the strong, beautiful visage that is an example of what a noble son should be. I wish you every happiness as you and Shima Kurushimi embark on this adventure together. I know that you will bring pride and honor to their name, just as you have done with ours."
Enthusiastic applause rose up as the bride and groom joined their guests in the toast. Byakuya sipped at his champagne, then leaned towards the bridal couple.
"I do hope that you will not encourage Tetsuya to drink very much. He is…"
"…sensitive to alcohol. I know," Kuri assured him, squeezing Tetsuya hand.
"I am not drinking alcohol anyway," Tetsuya added, his sapphire eyes twinkling, "We haven't told anyone, but we found out this morning that…that we are going to have a baby!"
Byakuya inhaled in surprise, then gave Kuri a disapproving look before meeting Tetsuya's more hopeful gaze approvingly.
"I am happy for you, watashi no itoko," he said quietly, "Although, it would have been more proper to make the baby after your wedding, I know that you and your husband will be discreet about the details, so as not to dishonor anyone."
"Of course, Byakurai," Kuri laughed softly, "I would never dishonor my lovely Tetsu-hana."
"I imagine that his mother and sister scolded him enough so that I do not need to," Byakuya said, a touch of amusement reaching his eyes.
"They scolded him for almost an hour!" Tetsuya whispered, "But then, they were happy for us too."
"There is every reason for celebration," Byakuya replied, "You have wanted to have a child for a long time."
"I wasn't sure I would ever love someone again, after what happened to Naoki," Tetsuya confessed, holding Kuri's hand more tightly, "but I feel very safe with Kuri-kuri-sama. Our baby will be safe with him too."
"Tetsu-hana, I told you not to use honorifics, once we were married," Kuri complained, "I hated it even when we were dating."
"S-sorry, Kuri-kuri," Tetsuya apologized, blushing, "I have to get used to it."
"Take your time," Kuri said, kissing his cheek, "We have the rest of our lives together now, my love."
Byakuya turned his attention back to the toasts, then relaxed slightly as the wedding dinner was served. He ate sparingly, receiving congratulations for the fortuitous match with the Shima leader and fielding occasional questions about the happy couple. He motioned for the servers to remove his plate, then remained in his seat and watching silently as the dancing began.
"Byakuya?"
The noble looked up questioningly as Ichigo approached him.
"Hey, I was, um, wondering if you would like to dance," Ichigo invited him.
"You…wish to dance with me?" Byakuya asked, giving him a surprised look.
"Yeah, I'd like to, if that's okay."
Byakuya bit his lip gently, glancing at several of the Kuchiki elders who stood nearby.
"My apologies," he said softly, lowering his eyes, "It would be considered scandalous if I was seen dancing as you and your more youthful friends do. I do not mean to offend you, of course."
He was surprised all over again by the ginger-haired man's next words.
"Well, what if we just dance a nice, safe waltz? No one would get upset about that, would they?"
Lost for words, Byakuya had no choice but to move along with Ichigo as the younger man took hold of his hand and guided him towards the dance floor. He turned back and smiled at Byakuya.
"Do you lead or follow?" he whispered.
"You invited me," Byakuya answered, "This means that you will lead."
"Okay by me," Ichigo chuckled, taking up the appropriate position as the music played.
Byakuya swallowed hard, keeping his eyes slightly unfocused to avoid direct contact with Ichigo's strangely intent brown eyes. His heart skittered strangely in his chest and he felt sweat breaking out on his forehead. He moved readily with Ichigo's direction, but could barely enjoy the experience, given the odd way he was feeling and how it felt to be so close to someone who was affecting him so strongly.
"You're really good at this," Ichigo said appreciatively.
"As leader, I am required to be," Byakuya explained, "I was given extensive training from a very young age."
"Really?" Ichigo asked, his smile sending a feeling of warmth through Byakuya's insides and setting off loud alarm bells in his mind, "I just…"
"You have probably never danced a proper waltz before today, and only learned because Rukia scolded you that a clan heir should know some proper dances."
"How'd you know that?" Ichigo laughed, "Were you listening in on us or something?"
He bit his lip and chuckled again at the offended look the noble gave him.
"Don't be mad," he said amiably, "I was kidding you."
"Ah, I see," Byakuya said, forcing his feet to stop as the song ended, "Ichigo, I have something I must do. Thank you for the dance. Please enjoy the rest of the evening."
"But…" Ichigo began, his eyes blinking in surprise and his face wearing a stymied look as Byakuya flash stepped away, "What the heck?"
He looked around as he made his way past Kuri and Tetsuya, who were dancing slowly together, their eyes closed and wearing blissful expressions. He left the dance floor, dodging several of his friends' requests to dance and scanning the area around the tables, and over by the koi pond.
Why'd he take off like that? He's been acting kinda strangely tonight, like something's bothering him. Not like he'd admit something like that to me, but maybe I should go and check on him.
If I can figure out where the guy went…
He looked around again, then closed his eyes and pictured the noble in his mind. He felt a slight tugging in his mind that seemed to radiate from somewhere beyond the garden's back gate.
I know the barn and the family cemetery are out in that direction.
He slipped out the gate and stood quietly for a moment on the moonlit trail, considering.
He might get pissed at me for following him, but I just have such a weird feeling that I should do it anyway.
He sighed inwardly, knowing it was impulsive, but unable to ignore his instincts. Turning left, he headed in the direction of the barn.
Maybe he wanted to visit the horses. They're nice to be around…calm and friendly.
He paused as he reached the family cemetery and found the gate open.
Oh, I see. He's visiting Hisana's grave.
He froze at the gate, thinking, then he started to turn away. But, as he did, the feeling of something being wrong came back in full force, knocking away at his common sense, which continued to warn him that Byakuya wouldn't appreciate the intrusion.
I know from Rukia that he visits her every day, in the morning. I wonder if he's doing this tonight for some reason. It could be as simple as him not having time because of the wedding. Or maybe, Tetsuya's leaving is hard for him.
What should I do?
He loosed a soft sigh and slipped into the cemetery, concealing himself behind a tall hedge and using the trees as cover. He stole closer to where he sensed Byakuya's reiatsu, finally stopping as he reached the place where the noble knelt at his wife's graveside. Ichigo quieted his breathing carefully, watching Byakuya's comely profile and listening as he began to speak.
"Tetsuya will be leaving tonight for Shima Adobe," he said softly, in a voice very different than the more distant sounding one he used with everyone else, "This is for the best. We have been lucky over the past years that he was never targeted by them. Or…of he was, then the measures we took to protect him were adequate. Rukia will be leaving as well, as soon as he marriage to Abarai Renji is finalized. I know that you asked me to see to her safety personally, but she and Renji are in love, and both are powerful. And with them leaving the manor, they are not likely to gain the attention of the elders, who mostly just objected to me adopting Rukia into the family. Her marriage will end that situation and leave them with little reason to harm her."
Ichigo stiffened.
He's worried about Tetsuya and Rukia being harmed?
Why?
"I hope you do not think that I am faltering in my commitment to protect your sister. It is just that she is actually safer being away from here. I will still see Renji and Rukia in taicho's meetings and on some occasions. They are still family…just…not living here anymore."
Byakuya went silent for a time, staring at his wife's grave marker and wearing a solemn expression. When he broke his silence again, Ichigo nearly startled, then he froze as Byakuya frowned and looked around before turning his attention back to his wife's grave.
"About your other wishes for me, I am sorry to disappoint you. I know you were distressed that I would be alone after your passing. I do not enjoy such solitude, however, I cannot endanger someone else. I know I could not accept a loveless marriage of state, and I will not endanger someone I decided to love, but that offended the elders again. I will not have a repeat of what happened with you."
What happened with Hisana?
I thought that she died from disease, because her immune system was weakened by the rough years she spent in Inuzuri. Byakuya's making it sound like that wasn't all there was to it. I wonder what he means? Did someone try to hurt Hisana?
His breath caught and his heart started to pound in reaction at Byakuya's next words.
"I will not lead another person I love into death. I could never forgive myself. I already chastise myself every day, because of what they did to you."
The elders did something to Hisana?
Rukia was really clear on what Byakuya told her about her sister, and she never mentioned the elders being involved in any way in her death. It sounds like Byakuya is keeping this to himself. But why? If he knows they did something, why would he let them get away with it? Is it because he's worried about Tetsuya and Rukia? He was happy they were getting married and leaving for their new homes. Is that why?
I really don't like the sound of this, but…what can I do? If Byakuya wanted to do something, he would. Maybe I should leave this alone.
He waited silently as Byakuya gave an agonized sigh and put his face in his hands for a moment.
"Why did you have to ask me to just accept things? I wanted justice for you. I know you were ill and you might not have survived anyway, but they had no right to take away the time we had left! I know you did not want me to confront them and begin a family war over you, but this is destroying me inside. Every time I stand in front of them, I know that some of them are responsible for this, and that they are pleased with what they did. Hisana, I may have respected your wishes and kept the peace, but there is no peace in me now. And even though I know you wanted me to go on, I cannot look at anyone else with the intent of loving them. I could not bear another loss like this. Better to spend the rest of my life alone and never have the family we dreamed of. Those dreams would only end in disaster."
Byakuya loosed a longer, deeper sigh and came to his feet. Ichigo waited until the noble's head was bowed, then he fled the gardens, returning to the gardens, where the dancing and revelry continued. He grabbed Orihime's hand and pulled her into a dance, watching out of the corner of his eye as Byakuya entered through the back gate and returned to his table, where he was met by several of the family elders.
By the look on Byakuya's face, I wonder if they're pressuring him to accept an arranged marriage. Man, that's something I really hate about the clans. Sometimes their rules make no sense at all. No wonder Byakuya's miserable.
But…maybe he doesn't have to go on being miserable. I mean, although the elders didn't approve of Hisana, they wouldn't have an objection to me. And maybe we could figure out together exactly who hurt Hisana and caused her to die.
I wonder.
What should I do?