a/n: not exactly turned out the way I wanted but enjoy! also thanks so much who reviewed and loved my previous fic!
Now listen, here. There isn't any space in the shit draining mass of goo otherwise known as Levi's brain that thinks of anything remotely suicidal. In fact, he hates thinking of it. Why settle for the unknown which is most probably devoid of anything existential because duh death is death, and it sucks.
Plus, even if he jokes on hanging himself to die, he most certainly does not mean it literally. Screw people and their obliviousness to detect one's sarcasm.
So, he thinks that the world is playing one nasty joke on him when he hears the screeching of tires and the strong odor of burnt rubber as he turns his head to find a rather speeding vehicle about to hit him by a few meters, and he blacks out.
The raven-haired man just stepped out from a nearby coffee shop, an order of plain black coffee in hand, to start the humorless and dull day when he realizes that he forgot to bring with him his messenger bag full of his paperwork which he still hasn't worked on yet. He still hasn't eaten breakfast yet, hoping that he would be able to catch up on their office's snack bar that provides sandwiches and anything edible.
Sighing to himself, he turned back to the café and hurried over there whilst wishing that if it hadn't been for that energizing sip of coffee he would've killed himself – no intention there of course – over some stupid files for his stupid ass boring line of work.
"Curse Erwin and his cheap budget." He mutters under his breath.
The crowded street is not helping him either, as he weaves through the faceless bodies of people whom he does not really take the time to take into account. Just as he reentered the café, he went straight towards the counter not bothering lining up.
"Is there anything I could do for you?" the current barista asks. He noticed she wasn't present when he was just in the coffee shop a few minutes ago.
She was wearing the shop's regulatory uniform, albeit it looks oversized on her considering that her fellow employees were almost a foot taller than her which is a good thing because it means that she's shorter than him by a few inches. She has those bright amber eyes to which Levi couldn't decipher whether she actually has the sun in her eyes or he just took too much time on his phone, but it greatly complements her copper hair.
He finds himself staring at her when her voice cuts him from his reverie.
"Are you okay sir?"
She has her eyes looking up at him, expectantly, as if he's seen her grow another head, but he shakes his head and forces himself to remember what he came here for. "I – I'm fine."
Levi hears someone cough in annoyance from behind but ignores it. Rude.
"I left my bag here a while ago." he says, hoping that no one else but the employees took it so that they can keep it for the owner to come back to. She looks at him confused for a few seconds before lighting up in remembrance, and Levi bites the inside of his cheek. He almost finds her cute. Almost.
"Oh, is it that black messenger bag?" she asks.
"Yes." He replies, patience wavering. He's wasting too much time here and his coffee is growing colder by the minute.
"I'll get it from the back, then."
She smiles at him and turns away, stopping a bit to tell her fellow employee to take her place. The dude replaced her by the counter and looks at him with an annoying and knowing grin, and Levi steps aside for the line behind him.
Levi checks his watch and mutters incoherent profanities, finding the time to be a quarter past 8. Shit, he's late.
He takes a full swig of his order, inwardly hissing at how cold his coffee has gone, and finally sees the same copper haired barista coming towards him with his bag in hand. He places his empty cup on the counter, says his thanks and hurries outside.
He does not even bother to hear her reply when he's out the door and rushing through the streets. He's so damn late but he does not regret ever seeing that cute girl. Levi wonders if she's seeing someone because if not, then he sees his chances of living appearing better.
That is until he registers the sounds of screeching tires and the feeling of his entire body burning, and his world blackens.
"Yoo-hoo!" the shrill and obnoxious voice wakes him up and Levi finds himself staring at two brown and crazy eyes boring holes at him, and he backs away quickly.
"What the fuck?" he half-shouts and half-gasps because his whole freaking body is burning with blistering pain and he has to hold himself everywhere, crouching on the ground trying to keep the pain to a minimum.
"Oooh" the figure coos at him but he hasn't looked at them to fully take their presence in account, "A feisty one, I see."
They laugh at him, obviously amused at his reaction upon his awakening. Levi does not appreciate at the least and tries to stand up but his heavy weight brings him down. They continue laughing at him and he catches the figure wearing glasses with their hair tied up and – are they wearing a lab coat?
Geez, he has caught some kind of weirdo to take care of him after the accident.
The accident.
His eyes widen at the realization and whips around his surroundings but paled. He sees himself on the ground, bloodied and damaged with strangers surrounding him, an attempt to save his dying self. The car that hit him is nowhere to be seen and he scowls at the thought of the idiot running away from their mistake. He stares at his body, being carried away by the paramedics to be brought to a nearby hospital and he stands up to walk towards them to only phase through about anything in particular.
Fuck.
This is all just a dream, right? This has got to be a dream, he tells himself. This is all a dream and when he closes his eyes to open them afterwards, everything will be alright. Levi closes his eyes and opens them to find the same scenario happening around him.
You got to be fucking kidding me.
Levi turns to the creep who is looking at him with an amused smile. "What?" he scowls at them.
The crazy creep holds up their hands up at him, as if to fan out his anger. "Calm down now, Levi Ackerman."
"How the hell should I calm down when I'm dead?!" He glares at them, "And how do you know my name?!"
The creep only chuckles at him and slowly walks towards him. They bring a hand towards him. "The name's Hanji."
The short man looks at their stretched out hand suspiciously but takes it nonetheless. Surprisingly, his hand does not phase through theirs and they shook each other's hand before pulling back. Levi watches Hanji place her hands inside the pockets of her coat and nods at him.
"How do you know my name?" he repeats his question, not comfortable not knowing how and why they're the only one who can hear and see him as opposed to the many people who pass by him, some occasionally passing through him casually taking him by surprise. Damn, he needs to get used to this.
"Escort's privilege" is all Hanji says.
"Escort?" he raises a brow at them.
"Yes. In a way that mortals can easily understand. I am your escort" Hanji explains, smirking at him and he does not find it comfortable.
"Escort? You mean to whether I end up in heaven or hell?" he asks because he seriously does not get anything related to religion. Though he has his own beliefs that death would be devoid of anything lively but this does not exactly meet his expectations.
Hanji only chuckles at him, yet again, and he is certainly finding it more annoying by the minute.
"No, silly human." They wave their hand at him, in amusement.
"Escort to your new body, of course!"