Hey guys, I'm having a bit of a writers block with "Beautiful Darkness" Uni work has been taking up my time but I've just finished exams, so to celebrate, I'm starting another fic. I've had it in my head for a while. What better time to put it out there ;) Hope you guys enjoy. As always, Please leave reviews, it motivates me! This is going to be a rather sad story but it will have a happy ending. Vauseman endgame ;)

Shattered

Alex Vause never had much. Her Mom was her best friend, her confidant and the only one she could turn to when things got tough. It's said that all good things must come to an end.

Winter was beginning and it was a very cold evening. Alex had just finished work and was walking home, her breath visible in the night air. She pulled out her phone. "Hey Mom, its just me, I'm walking home now, should I stop by the Thai and get us some dinner? I know, Mom, I know its dark, I'll be fine. I won't be out too long, don't worry. See you soon, love you."

Diane could never afford much when Alex was growing up. She did her best, nevertheless and Alex was always fed. She didn't ever have designer clothes or the latest toys and gadgets but she always had food. Alex had turned to books from a young age, they were a cheap way to be entertained and she loved the stories and characters they held in their pages. Alex never had many friends, she preferred the company of her mom and her books. She never felt like she could be herself around people at school and she always felt like she had to explain or justify her mom's financial situation every time someone knew where they lived.

Diane worked two jobs to make ends meet so what little time Alex got to spend with Diane, when she was younger, she cherished. As she got older she always felt the need to return the favour and protect and look after her. The summer Alex was offered the scholarship for university, Diane had been made redundant from one of her jobs and Alex was slightly relieved to be moving a few hours away to student accommodation so that her mom wouldn't have the burden of another mouth to feed. Alex was studying to become a dentist, she figured as long as people's mouths were pried open, she didn't have to engage in unnecessary conversation with them. She had always done well academically, she wanted to do well so that Diane wouldn't have to worry about money anymore. As she graduated, Diane sat in the crowd with tears streaming down her face. She had never been so proud in her life. Her Alex, a dentist.

Flash forward 3 years, Alex had worked her way up in the dentistry profession and was now in demand working in a high end dental hospital. She had bought her and Diane a house overlooking a lake and as much as Diane had protested, Alex had made her quit her jobs and refused to let her pay rent. She had told Diane it was her turn to be looked after. She could just cook and clean if it made her feel useful but she didn't have to, she could use her time as she pleased. She was just pleased that Diane was able to have enough free time to do what she wanted. Alex had never had to hide her sexuality from Diane. Diane had known that Alex wasn't interested in boys from an early age. By the time she was a teenager it had become apparent that Alex had no interest in boys. Alex was attractive. Her raven hair hung down past her shoulders, her high arch brows had girls falling for them every time they were raised and she was tall and athletically built. She'd had a steady stream of girls all through uni. She never introduced any of them to Diane, they were more like fuck buddies for her than girlfriends. She never let herself become emotionally attached. When Diane and Alex had moved into the house she made sure to never take girls back there. It was always a quicky in the bathroom of a club. Something to ease the pressure after a long day at work. Alex was content with this. She liked it being just her and her mom.

Alex got home at 8pm, Diane was sitting on the couch watching TV on the flat screen when she walked in. She turned and smiled when she saw Alex.

"Hey honey, how was your day at work?"

"Oh, you know, Ok, some kid tried to bite me but I managed to move in time… his mom wasn't impressed, she slapped his leg and made him jump and he knocked the mouthwash all over my uniform. I have smelled minty all day."

By this point Diane was doubled over laughing. Tears rolling down her face.

"Al… Oh… my… god…" she managed to get out in between bouts of hysterical laughter.

"Ok, Mom, when you have finished laughing at me, the food is out. Come eat." Alex said laughing along with her mother.

They laughed and joked until the last bite of food had gone and then Alex was spent so she said goodnight and went to take a shower.

The majority of time spent in the Vause household was just Alex making Diane laugh. It was one of her favourite pass times. Occasionally Nicky, one of Alex's oldest friends would come to stay for a few weeks. She was a crazy haired woman, also in her early 20's like Alex. They had struck up a friendship when Alex had started her first job waiting tables. They were and unlikely pair but they got along so well and fed off each other's energies. Nicky had a job selling antique furniture pieces to people with "more money than sense" according to her. She was due to visit the following week and Alex couldn't wait for the break from work. To party and live it up a little.

The day finally came for Nicky to arrive and Alex waited patiently, checking the clock every few hours.

"HEYYY STRETCH, GET OUT HERE AND GIVE YOUR SECOND FAVOURITE FEMALE A WELCOMING."

She heard Nicky before she saw her. The car appeared with Nicky leaning half out the window, shouting as it pulled up the driveway. Alex ran out the front door and pulled her into a huge hug.

"Nicholls, man, I've missed you."

"Sure ya did, I'm very missable."

As she said so, a young woman appeared from the passenger seat. She had pale skin, brown hair and bright red lipstick on.

"Hey, I hope you don't mind but I brought someone to meet you and Momma Vause. They say there's a first time for everything. Well, this is Lorna. My girlfriend."

Alex's eyes widened but she tried not to show her shock for respect out of the other girl. Nicky didn't do "girlfriends" she said she didn't know the rules and was never any good at it.

"It's very nice to meet you, Lorna. Come on in, I'll show you where the spare room is, you can set yours and Nicky's stuff down and make yourself at home."

"Oh, thanks Alex, it's nice to meet you too. My brother, Christopher would be very taken with you."

Alex let out a loud laugh at the same time Nicky almost choked. "I forgot to tell you, Alex is of our nature, Lorna." Nicky said, still chuckling.

Lorna just smiled and walked into the house with her bags.

"Jesus, Nicky. You could have pre warned me, I think the shock on my face was pretty evident that you hadn't. You with a girlfriend? Where's Nicky? What have you done with her?" Alex laughed.

"I don't know, Vause, she's different y'know. I can actually see a future with her. I think I've finally found someone I can tolerate for more than a few days."

"Well, I'm happy for you. Let's go see my mom before she kicks our asses."

Just as Alex said that Diane had come bustling out the door.

"NICKY! MY SWEET GIRL, I'VE MISSED YOU, HONEY. COME GIVE MOMMA A HUG." She said pulling Nicky into a tight hug. Nicky gave Alex the thumbs up behind Diane's back.

"We are hitting up that club in town tonight, Stretch, you in?" Nicky questioned Alex.

"Yep, got the week off just to get wasted."

"And here's me thinking you took time off to spend the week with me.." Nicky joked.

"Yeah, the week, wasted, with you."

The girls emerged from their rooms at 7pm like a bunch of teenagers. Diane had just sat down to her dinner. The girls had refused to have any, the excitement of their imminent night out too much for them.

For the first time what felt like ages, Alex felt good about her appearance. She was out of her work uniform (which was a miracle, since she practically lived in it these days)

"Mom, We won't be back too late, but don't wait up!" Alex smirked at Diane.

Diane let out a hearty chuckle. "Have a good night girls, don't do anything I wouldn't!"

Nicky and Lorna clamoured into the waiting cab but Diane pulled Alex aside.

"Babe, you look gorgeous. I'm so proud of you, Alex. Wherever life takes you I just want you to be happy and I guess I want a grandchild or two so I think its about time you got out there and found the girl you are meant to be with, honey." Diane giggled at Alex who, of course knew her mother's humour by now. She laughed back at Diane.

"Mom, I think you need a bath or something because you need to relax."

"You know I'm only joking with you, honey. You go and have a good time. I meant what I said about being proud of you. I'm proud of the amazing woman you have grown into and the life you have given us. I love you Allie. Go and have a good night, I will leave you some dinner in the fridge."

Alex kissed Diane and gave her a tight hug before smiling and climbing into the cab with her friends.

"Bye Mom, I love you too."

The club was jumping with people. The strobe lights made everything seem like it was in slow motion and the girls didn't hesitate to get the drinks flowing.

Alex figured she had worked so hard for so long that she deserved to kick back and let go, just for one night.

Nicky, Lorna and Alex were all dancing to the music, hair flying everywhere. Everyone was packed onto the dancefloor and it didn't take long before Alex got too hot and decided to order a drink at the bar to catch some breath. She ordered a rum and coke and then pulled out her phone. She had two missed calls from Diane and immediately called back. There was no answer, so in full on panic mode, Alex began to search out Nicky and Lorna. She spotted them in the middle of the dancefloor, grinding up against each other.

"Nicholls, we have to go. Mom called and I can't get back in touch with her now. We have to leave."

Nicky could see the panic in Alex's eyes. She knew it was out of character for Diane to be out of contact so she immediately left the dancefloor, pulling Lorna along with her as she followed after a sweaty, half running Alex.

"Mom?" Alex called as she got to the door of the house.

Nicky stopped Alex in her tracks. "She may have just popped out, Allie. To the 24 hour mart to get some milk or something, try to calm down. I'll go and look in her room and you put the kettle on."

Nicky left a reluctant Alex and a concerned Lorna in the kitchen while she padded cautiously up the hallway to Diane's bedroom. She felt the apprehension rush through her as she approached the door. She could feel that something was wrong. She knew Diane didn't just fall off the radar.

"Diane? Mom? You in there?" She knocked softly on the door before going in and what she saw stopped her own heart momentarily.

Diane had her pyjamas on, she was laid on the bed with her phone in her hand looking like she was asleep. Nicky approached her and laid a hand on her shoulder, and gently shook her.

"Diane?" Nicky immediately checked her pulse and when there was none, ran to the ensuite to throw up. She quickly tried to compose herself but was finding it hard to keep it together. Tears had already started to stream down her face and she was starting to hyperventilate when she remembered she had left Alex and Lorna in the kitchen. She wiped her eyes and wondered what she was going to do. She knew Alex wasn't going to cope with this and didn't know how she was supposed to tell her this. She pulled out her phone and called the emergency services so at least someone was aware of what had happened and they said they were on their way out to the house. She then made her way into the kitchen, trying her best to stay calm.

Alex and Lorna both looked up from their cups of tea when she walked in and she could see from Alex's expression that she could tell something is wrong.

"Nick? Where's my Mom? Why do you look like that?"

The pure panic was evident in Alex's voice as she questioned her best friend.

"Al. Please keep calm. I don't know how to tell you this…"

Before she had finished her sentence, Alex was up off her chair and speeding towards Diane's bedroom with Nicky hot on her heels.

Nicky knew she had seen Diane before she had gotten back to the room herself, because of the blood curdling scream that echoed from the walls. She rounded the corner to see Diane cradled in Alex's arms, Alex frantically trying to wake her up. The scene was heart breaking and Nicky was close to losing it. She felt Lorna's hand on her shoulder and the sentiment kept her grounded a little more than she would have been had she been without it.

Alex was barely coherent by the time the paramedics and police arrived. Her eyes had completely glazed over and she had no reaction other than tears streaming continuously down her face. She didn't flinch or react to anything anyone was saying to her and Nicky was starting to get seriously concerned for her friend. She cautiously approached Alex and placed a hand gently over her own, which was gripping Diane's cold hand tightly.

"Al, they have to take her now, you have to let her go. Come on, we need to let them do their jobs."

Alex didn't move, only shrugged Nicky off when she gently tugged on her. The policeman was very empathetic but advised Nicky she could try and talk her around into letting Diane go for another ten minutes and then they would have to physically restrain her whilst they let the paramedics do their job.

"Al, come on, please, you have to let her go. They are going to take her to the hospital and we can go with them, but they have to move her. You have to do this Al, I'm sorry."

Alex didn't move, she just slowly shook her head, her face crumpling into a mask of grief.

The police man stepped towards her. "Miss Vause? I'm officer Bennett, my partner and I have a duty of care and we have to take your mother into the hospital now, I know you are in shock right now but we just need you to let us move her so we can get her body into the ambulance."

He gently lifted her arm and she pulled it forcefully away from her. He nodded to his co worker who stepped to help and they both put their hands on Alex.

"GET THE FUCK OFF ME. SHE BELONGS HERE! YOU AREN'T TAKING HER! I WON'T LET YOU. SHE FUCKING HATES HOSPITALS. YOU AREN'T TAKING HER!" Alex was in hysterics and Nicky had never seen her in such a state.

The two police officers restrained a screaming, sobbing Alex as the paramedics carried Diane's lifeless body out of the house and into the waiting ambulance. Nicky and Lorna were both crying at the scene unfolding before them and Nicky pulled Lorna into an embrace, hiding her face in the crook of her neck and letting herself sob for the woman who had been more of a mother to her than her own mother had been and her heartbroken friend who she knew was not ever going to fully recover from the night's events.