Author's Note: Please pardon the abruptness and semi-pointlessness of this story. It exists largely as a prequel of sorts in order to set the post-series universe that I want to play in for my upcoming stories. I didn't want to have to give a lengthy, tactless spiel at the beginning of each story, so it seemed like better form to just write a story establishing that universe for my subsequent writing. Consider this a pre-req for any later AF fics I write (a considerably longer story is coming very soon). Thanks for reading!
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Holly didn't need to recount overly much of Artemis's life before all his memories came rushing back. From that point to the moment they arrived at the manor the stories continued, but as more of a shared reminiscence than a recitation. As they came up on the Fowl Manor, Holly prepared to shield, while Butler began helping Artemis off of Foaly's back. Suddenly, a disbelieving shriek tore through the morning air.
"Arty! Arty oh God, you're alive!" Angeline Fowl looked like she might collapse and, after Butler finished placing Artemis on the ground to lean heavily on Foaly, he hurried over to support her.
"Breathe, Mrs. Fowl. It's really him."
"Juliet!" Angeline called, "Go get Mr. Fowl and the boys!" Juliet was standing, rooted to the spot, in the doorway, staring at Artemis in disbelief. "Go on!" Angeline laughed, and Juliet broke out of her trance to dash upstairs calling for the rest of the family. Angeline regained her strength and flung herself at her son, embracing him and all but knocking him over.
"Arty, you clever boy," she murmured into his hair, "how did you do it?"
Artemis smiled indulgently "That's a long story mother. I hope you don't mind if I wait to tell it to everyone at once?" At this point, Artemis Senior, the twins, and Juliet came running out of the house, and Artemis heard twin gasps from his father and Myles. Beckett was less impressed.
"Hi Artemis" he said, then immediately ran to stare at Foaly "Are you a horse?"
"Haha, no little guy" Foaly laughed nervously, "I'm a centaur and-"
"Centaurs aren't real."
"Well, given that I'm standing here, I'd say we are." Foaly shot back. This argument was cut short as Artemis Senior began ushering everyone inside so that they could talk.
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"-And so Foaly figured it out, grew a clone of me, and brought it to where I died so that my residual energy could inhabit it."
"So you're a ghost?" Beckett asked, with a hint of trepidation.
"Not anymore Beckett. But I suppose you could say I've been a ghost for the past few months."
Angeline turned to Foaly and asked "So, he's alright? There shouldn't be any complications?"
"Well Mrs. Fowl, I'm not a medical professional. To figure out how he is, he should probably come down to Haven and be checked out by a medical warlock, or maybe we can just have N°1 look him over. The trouble is going to be breaking this news to the Council. None of this is actually all that legal-" At this point Foaly's phone rang. "Sorry" He said, and answered it. "What is it Trubs?"
"Don't call me Trubs Foaly. Where are you?"
"Ah- What do you mean? I'm at Mulch's ceremony of course."
"Of course, that's why there's video of you boarding a shuttle bound for Tara with Captain Short." Foaly looked caught and unsure what to say. Artemis got a devious glint in his eye and held out his hand for the phone. Foaly looked at him suspiciously, but Artemis just wiggled his fingers expectantly. Foaly handed it over.
"Hello Commander Kelp, I think I can answer your questions about Foaly's whereabouts. He's at my house."
There was a short beat of stunned silence on the other end before Trouble Kelp exploded. Artemis could practically see his face turning red, then purple. "Fowl?! How? You're supposed to be dead! What did you do?"
"I'm hurt, Commander. I've been dead for the past six months. I clearly didn't do anything."
"Fine. Fine." Commander Kelp was breathing heavily and deliberately, obviously trying to calm himself down. "What did Foaly and Short do?"
"Foaly was kind enough to clone me, and then it was a simple matter for my spirit to inhabit the empty vessel."
"Simple matter he says. Simple matter? The Council is going to be furious. All of you know that cloning is illegal!" Artemis sighed, and did his best to commiserate with the long-suffering police commander.
"I'm sure this is terribly stressful for you Commander Kelp, but I simply prefer to stay alive." Hmm, he'd have to work on commiseration, it came out far to close to sarcasm. "You really don't need to tell the Council."
"First of all, that's reprehensible and could lose me my job, and secondly, it's too late. I was already with most of the Council when you surprised me like that – Mulch's ceremony and all. They heard everything." Artemis sighed and massaged the bridge of his nose. He wasn't even wearing proper clothes yet.
"What's their reaction?" he asked.
"They're surprisingly alright with it." Commander Kelp replied "I think they expected something like this from you. They want you to come down and let N°1 make sure there aren't any complications."
"Gladly, Butler and I can be down this afternoon."
"Alright, sounds good, and Artemis?"
"Yes Commander?"
"We're glad you're back." Artemis just smiled and ended the call.
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One of the many nice things about having N°1 as a friend was not having to go to the hospital. The little warlock met Artemis and Butler at Police Plaza while Holly and Foaly returned to work. He looked Artemis over, and probed him with his magic.
"Interesting" he said, while peering at Artemis's head, "it looks like whatever Foaly used to clone you was made to clone fairies."
"That's right," Artemis replied, leaning back slightly to reclaim some personal space "it's the very same one Opal Koboi used to clone herself. What does it matter?"
"Well it looks like you should be able to hold magic. Complete the ritual, fill up, use it, rinse and repeat. Let's check." N°1's runes glowed red, and suddenly Artemis was filled with the familiar feeling of magic. The Council page who was accompanying N°1 gasped and started furiously scribbling notes on her pad.
"This is incredible" Artemis grinned, playing a few sparks across his fingers, "Thank you N°1."
"You should have a comparable lifespan to a fairy now Artemis, so don't be alarmed when you stop growing and aging."
Butler, still hunching somewhat, looked stressed and exhausted. "Is it alright if we go now?" He asked "I'd like to be able to stand up straight again."
At this point, the Council page broke in to say "Just a moment, I need to relay this new information to the Council and see if they have any further instructions." While she pulled out her phone and started making calls, N°1 turned to Butler.
"How are you feeling Butler? You look tired."
"All these magical healings have taken their toll little man, I'm just starting to run down."
N°1 smile a little bit, "I can help if you like. I did the same thing for Captain Short, it's just like a reboot for your system."
"Can you get rid of the Kevlar in my chest? It'd be nice to be able to breath again."
"Oh, I can do so much more than that! Just give me your hands." As Butler and N°1 joined hands Holly tried to intervene.
"Hold on N°1! Don't you think you should warn him about how much it'll h-" Butler groaned, and his face took on a strained expression for five seconds or so. Then he relaxed.
"Holly's right, some warning would have been nice, but I do feel great. Thanks little guy."
N°1 beamed, "You're welcome! I'm glad to help!"
At this point the page paused her phone call and turned to Artemis "The Council would like to confirm that you do indeed already own a copy of The Book."
"I do." Artemis replied, and the page relayed this over the phone.
"They wish to make it clear that, even though you are allowed to live on the surface, you are expected to follow the laws of the People and to come live in Haven once your extended lifespan begins to become noticeable to humans." Artemis nodded, and the page told the Council of his agreement. "Alright, that's all the Council needed from you Mr. Fowl. You and your friend are free to return to the surface."
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Holly volunteered to pilot them to the surface, if only to avoid being yelled at for her involvement in the whole affair a little longer, and the trio soon found themselves in the Cupid, which Butler was infinitely grateful had been kept, even in the wake of Artemis's death.
Holly was speaking to Artemis. "So, I guess we haven't seen the last of each other yet, huh?"
"No, I suppose not." Artemis replied with a smile "I imagine we have plenty more adventures left for us."
"Let's keep the dying to a minimum in the future though, eh Mud Boy?"
"Can you even call me that anymore? I've got magic now, legitimately obtained magic."
"I'll call you what I want, Arty." She punched him in she shoulder. "I'm glad you made it back alright." Perhaps it was because everyone who knew Artemis knew what sorts of things he was capable of, or perhaps it was because of all the close calls in the past, but everything seemed to be settling comfortably back into normal parameters for life around Artemis Fowl. Butler allowed himself a small smile. Those parameters might not be normal for anyone else's life, but they suited him just fine.