It had been a very long time since Ivan had somebody living with him. Ivan once had so many people stay in his house with him. He had himself and his two sisters and three servants, and Gilbert, and a few others. Everything was happy when they were all home together. The world was colorful and the air felt warm. Now, everything looked gray to Ivan, and the winter air felt sharp and cold. It was very lonely. Granted, Natalia still came to visit sometimes and while Ivan enjoyed seeing somebody come visit him, he did not enjoy her attitude and the way she still desperately wanted him to marry her.

Ivan missed all the excitement and chattering that went on in his house when everyone was here. He missed coming home to smiling faces and the scent of dinner. He missed drinking with Gilbert. He missed gazing at Gilbert. He missed Gilbert's laugh. He missed…. He missed Gilbert.

Gilbert was one of the very last to leave Ivan. Ivan had "forced" Gilbert to live with him because Ivan had won him in a fight with Gilbert's brother, Ludwig. Ludwig protested Ivan taking his brother, but Gilbert took it like a man. He did not protest to Ivan dragging him to his house and threatening him and even hurting him.

The German shouldn't have betted his brother if he wanted to keep him so much. Ivan doubted Ludwig wanted Gilbert back after Gilbert had been in his house for a few weeks. Ludwig had that crazy pasta loving boy, he didn't need Gilbert. Gilbert wouldn't fit in in Ludwig's house anymore. He belonged in Ivan's house.

Ivan believed he would be able to keep Gilbert forever, until one day….

:o:

I woke up in my bed while the sun was just peeking through the window across the room. My bed was huge, bigger than myself and could easily fit three people in it comfortably. I slowly got out of bed and went to the dresser to get some clothes for the day. I had had a bad dream. I dreamt that there would be nobody in my house except me. I have been having this dream a lot lately. "Only me and Gilbert are left," I said to myself as I put my clothes on. I finished getting dressed in a somber mood.

I quietly walked down the hallway to check on Gilbert in his room. I opened the door as quietly as I could and found him snoring lightly as he continued sleeping. He always slept in a mess: body parts all over, sheets and blankets tangled up. I wondered how it could be comfortable.

I quietly closed the door and decided to make some breakfast for the two of us. Maybe Gilbert could eat it in bed. The thought of Gilbert groggily eating waffles made me smile a bit as I walked down the stairs to the kitchen.

As breakfast cooked, I checked on the mail. There was the usual advertisements, a few bills, and a letter addressed to me from Germany. I wondered who I knew in Germany. I opened the letter curiously as I walked back to the breakfast I was making.

The letter was from Ludwig in Germany. It said:

Dear Ivan,

Thank you for taking care of my brother for these years. However, it would please me if you return him to my care now. He has been away from Germany for a very long time and I fear he misses it. Feliciano and I have set aside a room for him in our house.

Those of us here feel you have hoarded Gilbert and have not let him be free to make his own decisions.

You may talk to him about his returning home. I have included one plane ticket for his return. The plane leaves from Moscow tomorrow. I, myself will meet him at the airport.

If you choose to ignore this letter, I will personally come to your house to reclaim my brother.

Thank you again,

Ludwig Beilschmidt

There was in fact a one-way plane ticket to Berlin from Moscow in the envelope. I stood shock still for a few minutes, long enough that the waffles started burning. I threw the letter and ticket on the counter as I quickly remedied the waffles. I asked myself if I had hoarded Gilbert too much. I have let him make decisions! I let him choose what he room he wanted, a prison cell or the one adjacent to mine. He has been free to wander around my property, just not too far away from the house. I don't understand! Why would Ludwig want Gilbert back now of all times! Why when I am about to be completely alone? "I won't let you have him," I ground out as I put all the food on the serving tray so I could transport it up to Gilbert's room.

"But," I thought, "What if Gilbert really wants to return home to Germany? Have I really been keeping him here too long?" I looked at the letter again. And picked it up to thrust it in my pocket, taking care of the plane ticket inside it. "There's no harm in asking," I thought as I carefully carried the tray up the stairs to Gilbert's room.

As I approached his room, I could not hear the sound of his snoring anymore. I made to knock on the door but realized I could not do so with the tray in my hands. So instead I made a kind of coughing sound with my throat to let Gilbert know I was here.

The door took a few seconds to open, but when it did I was greeted by the beautiful sight of Gilbert wearing only pants and still looking a bit tired.

"Oh hey Ivan." He blinked at me tiredly. "It's like still morning, can you come bother me later? I wanna sleep more."

I looked at him. "It is almost 9 in the morning, Gilbert. I made you breakfast."

He looked at the tray I was carrying as if he just realized that it was there. "You did, awesome. Um," He scratched his head as I awkwardly stood outside the door. "You can come in I guess." He backed up to let me in.

"Cпасибо, Gilbert," I said as I entered. I looked around his room a bit more than I did when I looked in it earlier this morning. The bed was a mess in the middle of the room. He had clothes strewn around the floor and over a chair in the corner. Some of the dresser drawers where partially open. The nightstand had pop cans on it and other junk. There was a bench at the foot of the bed with clothes all over it too. I placed the tray carefully down on the bench.

"Yeah, whatever," he replied as he closed the door behind me. Gilbert saw where I placed the tray and jumped back on the bed, then moved to the foot of it to be closer to the food. "Wow, you made waffles for me! Awesome." He picked up a fork and started digging into the waffles with vigor.

I watched him eat for an amount of time. I didn't feel like eating anymore after having received the letter from Ludwig.

After eating three waffles, a piece of toast, 4 sausages, and consuming 2 glasses of orange juice, Gilbert looked up at me. "Are you not eating? There's a plate and fork for you too, you know. I even saved some sausage for you."

"I don't feel like eating right now."

Gilbert made a sound with the back of his throat. He swallowed the last bit of his fourth waffle then said, "That doesn't sound like you, Ivan. What's up?" He stared back at me and didn't look like he would eat anymore until he got a serious answer.

I sighed. "Do you… want to leave me too, Gilbert?" I knew my eyes must have looked really sad when I said that so I looked away from him as I finished asking the question.

"Huh? Leave you? What are you talking about?"

"Your bother says you should go home…" I could feel his eyes on me, trying to get me to look at him.

"Go home…," he echoed, "Like, back to Germany?"

I nodded. "I have a plane ticket for a one-way trip to Berlin that leaves tomorrow morning." I dig it out of my pocket to show it to him.

Gilbert remained silent for a while. He didn't move to take the ticket, nor to continue eating breakfast. He just looked at me, and finally, I looked at him too. I looked deep into those red albino eyes of his and tried to convey my feelings to him.

I lowered my hand with the ticket in it back onto my lap. My head lowered with it.

"I guess.…" Gilbert's voice quietly broke the silence. "It wouldn't hurt to visit my brother again…."

I didn't say or do anything. My heart felt like it would break apart.

"Can I… did he… send you a letter or something, Ivan?"

My body jumped a little when he said my name. I nodded remorsefully and handed him the letter I received just today from Ludwig. I kept my gaze from his.

Gilbert took the letter from my hand and carefully unfolded it to read it. I waited in anguish as he read the letter from his brother. Finally, he spoke, "I… can go home…. I can go home after all these years here in this winter wasteland. I can finally go home and see mein Bruder! And Feliciano, and Francis and Antonio, and everyone else back home! I can see everyone again!" He was so happy he had tears coming to his eyes.

"But not me," I said. I could hear the sorrow in my voice. He stopped.

"I-Ivan…"

"No, it is okay. You go home, Gilbert. Leave me alone to myself." I threw the ticket in his direction. It fluttered harmlessly onto the tray of forgotten food. "Πрошу прощения, извините."

I ran from the room with tears in my eyes. Gilbert wants to leave me. He wants to return home and leave me all alone. He doesn't care about me. A voice in my head said, "Why should he care? You did not treat him the best you could. You treated him close to a prisoner. He had no reason to get close to you. No reason to want to stay with you, you brought this on yourself."

:o:

I had ran out the back door of my now empty house and into the snow, not caring about a coat or if I would freeze. The chilly wind hit me full on and I shivered. The tears had started flowing as I had ran from Gilbert's room, the room I had given him, and were all the way down my face now. I feared they would freeze there so I quickly brushed them away. But the more I brushed, the more there seemed to be. My tears just kept coming and coming. I sat down on a snow covered chair thinking about what I had done to deserve this kind of treatment.

As I thought, I heard the sound of crunching snow coming towards me. At first I thought it would be Kayusha come to comfort me. But then reality hit me again and I knew it could only be Gilbert.

My tears had stopped coming a few minutes ago, but this new thought that my older sister would never come visit me made them prickle at the corner of my eyes again.

The crunching snow sounds stopped in front of me and I could now see Gilbert's feet and lower legs as he stood in front of me. He had changed pants and put on his boots before he came out here. Which made me think that I only had my socks on right now.

"Hey," Gilbert said in his rough voice. I didn't look up. He thrust my coat in front of my face. "You forgot your coat. In fact you forgot your everything. You're an idiot." He threw my coat at me. I looked up at him. He didn't appear to be angry, rather, he looked sad, like he was feeling sorry for me.

I didn't say anything, and just held the coat. Me feet were starting to feel really cold.

Gilbert made an annoyed sound. "Hey, Dummkopf, get your ass off that frozen chair and get inside. You're going to freeze out here." He pulled me from the seat and dragged me back inside the house. Gilbert closed the back door loudly after we both had gone through it. I just stood there.

He spun back around, took one look at me still standing like an idiot holding a coat, and left for the kitchen. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to follow him but did he want me to follow him? Should I follow him? Should I stay here? If I stay here will he come back? Has he left me forever while I'm almost frozen?

As I pondered what to do, Gilbert popped back around the corner he had just left and called to me, "Ivan! Get your butt over here!" I slowly walked over to him.

I arrived in the kitchen and Gilbert said, "Good, now sit down on that chair." He pointed to a chair at the table. I mutely did as I was told. I sensed that Gilbert found it both entertaining that I was doing what he told me to do, and annoying that I couldn't do it myself.

He heated up some water in a large pot until it was almost boiling then brought it over to me. He placed it on the ground in front of my feet and looked up at me. I mindlessly stared back at him. He sighed, annoyed and took my socks off my feet and carefully placed each foot in the hot water. The water felt really good on my feet, but I liked Gilbert's hands on me better.

I slowly warmed up under Gilbert's care. He called me "Dummkopf" as few more times and made comments about how stupid I was. I didn't really care. If I was so mean and horrible to him during his stay at my house, then why did he help me just now? Did Gilbert care about me too?

After I finished warming up, Gilbert and I watched some TV and drank alcohol together. I had had to go buy him some German beer the first week he was here, since he said he doesn't care for vodka. We enjoyed each other's company for the day and then it was night.

When we were both extremely tired from playing card games, I finally remembered the letter.

"Gilbert," I began hesitantly.

"Huh," he moaned out from his lounging on the couch. He opened one eye from his cat nap to look at me.

"What are you going to do?"

Gilbert sat up straight and leaned forward. "What am I going to do? Play a flush of diamonds! That's what I'm going to do!" He laid out his cards, then leaned back, laughing.

I simply laid my straight flush down across from his cards. "I meant, about Ludwig's letter."

He looked at my hand, "No way! You beat me again!? Not awesome! I'm losing my touch!"

"Gilbert," I said calmly, belying my true feelings.

He calmed down. "I guess, I will go back to Germany." My heart shattered. "But Ivan-"

"No buts," I spoke roughly as I stood up and put away the cards quickly. "You have to get up early to get to the airport on time. You should go to sleep now. I will drive you there in the morning." I kept my focus on the cards and not what I was talking about.

Gilbert didn't move. I felt like he should say something. Anything.

He stood up after a bit of silence and walked to his room without saying a word. The slam of his door against the wood was loud enough to shake the windows.

I finished cleaning up then went to my room. I got ready to sleep, but never was able to do so. I kept thinking about Gilbert and how I would be alone when he leaves.

:o:

I woke up to my alarm clock going off. Apparently I had slept a little the night before. Also apparently, I had cried myself to sleep.

I got dressed quickly and skipped checking on Gilbert. I hurried to the kitchen and reheated some leftovers from yesterday to eat for breakfast. As I was doing that, Gilbert came downstairs rubbing his eyes. He was fully dressed and had all of his things packed in the little suitcase he had brought with him when he had first come here. He let the suitcase thud down each stair.

Gilbert entered the kitchen and sat down at his spot at the table. I served him some leftover sausage and he stared at them for a second then said, "I wish they were German sausages.…"

I didn't eat any breakfast again today. Even Gilbert ate less than usual.

Finally, it was time for us to leave for the airport. The ride there was quiet. Neither of us said a word. Time passed, we arrived at the airport. We waited, Gilbert's flight arrived.

As he boarded the plane, I felt the need to express my feelings for him, but I didn't know how. I grabbed his hand as he turned to get on the plane.

"Gi-Gilbert…." He turned to look at me. There was some feeling in his eye I didn't know. I had never seen that emotion before. His eyes were narrow, not in anger, more like in sorrow. But there was another emotion in those brilliant red eyes of his. I thought that I had seen something similar in my sisters' eyes at times. I stuttered to a stop.

Gilbert spoke, "Take care of yourself, Dummkopf. Πрощание, Ivan."

I was too surprised to say or do anything in response. Gilbert took his hand back and boarded the plane, never looking back at me.

:o:

Translation Notes:

Cпасибо = Thank You (Russian)

mein Bruder = my Brother (German)

Πрошу прощения, извините = something like "I apologize, I'm sorry" (Russian)

Dummkopf = Stupid (German)

Πрощание = Good bye (Russian)

(I hope these are at least close to right!)

Author's Note:

Yay! I published a story after forever! I did this whole story in 5 hours over the span of two days, so if it's not good... *cries*. Anyway! Get your tears ready! It's (hopefully) sure to make you cry~! Don't ask where I got the plot, I have no idea. There dream I had about RusPrus the other night didn't have anything like this in it... or did it?

I wrote Chapter 1 while I was hungry if you couldn't tell (I still haven't gotten any waffles...)

This chapter is roughly based off of "Unwarrented Punishment" by Tetsuhiro Morinaga (you can find the story in my favorite ^-^) but be warned, it's ratted hardcore M. Just sayin.

Hope you enjoyed the first chapter! Thank for reading~ Enjoy the next chapter too please~

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