Matt, a death note fanfic

A/N: Yo peeps, got some more shit for you to read.

Title: Matt

Summary: 'When you close your eyes, when you hold me, when you kiss me… is it him you are thinking about?'

Pairings: Um, I don't know. Mentions of MelloxNear, but more of a one-sided MelloxMatt.

Rating: meh.

Spoilers: I'm hungry.

Warnings: nuthin'. 'cept death and all.

Please don't read if you don't know what actually happens to Matt and Mello.

…

Matt never liked Mello.

It was true.

He never liked Mello's hair or eyes or knowledge or strength or emotion. He didn't like how Mello always took command and never listened to him. He didn't like how Mello was so inconsiderate of others. He didn't like how Mello over-ruled every suggestion that came from Matt's mouth. He didn't like how Mello was always so rough.

There were a lot of things Matt didn't like about Mello, but when it came to hate, there were so many more things.

Like how Mello stare of into the distance with a dreamy look in his green-blue eyes. He hated how Mello's soft blond hair moved with every motion, or how his fringe would fall into his eyes and he would flick his head a little to move it. He hated how the snapping noise of Mello's chocolate always seemed to reverberate of the walls of his head, or how Mello's tongue would occasionally darted out and lap at it. He hated how Mello always smiled at him whenever he got over excited over one of his video games. He hated how Mello looked so peaceful when he was asleep. Yeah, sure, there were so many things that Matt hated about Mello. But one thing that really got him angry at the blond was the fact that he was undoubtedly in love with him.

Matt hated that the most.

He hated loving him. He hated caring for him. He hated the fact that his breath would always hitch whenever their bare skin would slide against each other gently. Matt hated it all.

When he was nine, he was told that sometimes boys would only pick on girls and tease them because they liked them.

Mello never liked to tease any of the girls. He never really liked being around them.

That made Matt happy. Being around the blond at that time and knowing that they were friends and that he had Mello all to himself, made Matt ecstatic. He didn't think that there friendship would change.

But at some point, and maybe it took Matt a little too long to realize, that had changed entirely.

It didn't start the very day Near had arrived. Actually, it didn't even start the first year that Near had spent at Wammy's. It was only a couple of months after Near had surpassed Mello that the teasing really starting. And that was when Matt realized.

Matt didn't really believe he was jealous. The fact that Mello took every second out of his time to tease and torment Near was just because the blond was angry that his place at top had been taken away from him. That was what Matt told himself. There was no need to be jealous, right?

But Matt didn't believe that either, even to this day.

He refuse to think that Mello really actually liked Near. Liked Near more than he liked Matt. Liked Near more than he liked anything.

Wasn't it just logic? You wouldn't kill the team of the person you liked when you were trying to capture a serial killer, right? You just wouldn't. Even as predictable as Mello was.

But Matt wasn't so sure.

Mello was Mello, after all.

The blond had always acted so different around Near that it made Matt wanted to scream out in anger.

'Is that it, huh? Is that all I get after everything I've done for you?'

Matt wasn't sure what to do with himself. Ok, so, sure, he was the one by Mello's side, not Near, and he was the one that could actually have a conversation with Mello, not Near, and he was the one that got to cling to Mello nearly every single night, crying out his name in pleasure, not Near. But why was it, that every time he had the chance to experience those things, especially when they were together like that, that it just felt so wrong to Matt.

'When you close your eyes, when you hold me, when you kiss me… is it him you are thinking about?'

Am I nothing to you?

Do you not care?

Is that why your face was so impassive when you told me that we might not make it out alive on our next task. Is that why?

Because you see him, and not me? Because you love him, and not me?

It wasn't like Mello didn't know. The second that Matt stepped into the garage and opened the door of his red Chevrolet Chevelle, he turned, kissed the blond full on the mouth and uttered the words he was sure he would never say.

"Do you love him?"

Matt could only laugh dryly at the surprised look on the blonds face.

"You do, don't you? That's why you act like you hate him so much."

Mello didn't answer, but Matt just smiled and got in the car. And he did everything. Every little thing that Mello had told him to do.

The blond had every chance to stop him before they left.

And when Matt was dying; lying there, bleeding out on the pavement, bullet wounds littering his chest, his last thoughts were on Mello. Of his touch. Of how he would never feel it again.

And he never knew. Perhaps Mello wouldn't make it out alive either.

But he had some victory, because Matt was so sure, that if that was the case, Mello's last, dying thoughts when he was possibly bleeding out on the road somewhere miles from Matt as well, would be of his beautiful redhead…

Matt.

End note: I'm still so fucking hungry!

I don't know where this shit came from. That isn't even how Mello dies. Stupid fucking Takada. You whore…

Review, ya know. I actually get some sleep when you do.