"I go back to December all the time…"
-Taylor Swift, 'Back to December'
Disclaimer: This is based off of The Mockingjay Lives' "Red Rose Girl." I was one of the characters used in there and this is her POV. All idea credit goes to her!
We lost the rebellion. That kept replaying in my head as our parents sadly escorted us from the tunnel that was built for us during the bombings. Minus mine, who had died. I was going to an orphanage back in my District. My hand tightly clenched Fin's, the best friend I had had for the last 5 years, since I was 8.
"Fin," I mumbled, and he nodded. "Whatever happens, whatever the Capitol does to us, I just want you to know that I'm hoping for the best." He nodded again. He was going back to his district with his father. I had a sinking feeling we would see each other again…in need of assistance. I saw the sunlight and I blinked, not having seen it for over a year. "Bye." Everyone in our group; Seilide, Fin, Kitty, Lyssan, and I, said our goodbyes. The only ones that didn't necessarily have to say goodbye were Lyssan and Seilide, who were from the same district, 3. We had heard that we would be separated unless something that the Capitol had not told the public yet would happen. I knew that it was something bad...especially for the major rebels, and we were probably the biggest rebel kids out there.
I walked alone over to the helicopter labeled '1'. I saw an overturned vehicle in the forest, rusted and destroyed. I shivered and wondered what the district looked like. Guess I have to find out, I thought, and got in. The ride took about an hour and it was boring. I sat still in my seat as the men at the front laughed and talked. They were in strange white suits with visors and boots. I hadn't seen them before. I saw a patch on one of their shoulders, and I squinted to get a good view of it. 'Peacekeeper,' it read. What the hell was a Peacekeeper? I shook my head in distaste and closed my eyes until we reached the district.
The district. Strangely, everything looked pretty much untouched from above. We landed just outside the electrified gate. I looked down at a piece of metal I was standing on, rusted, dirty, but had readable words. I hadn't personally read in a long time but I tried. After about a minute I made out 'Welcome to New Mexico.' I wondered where New Mexico was, or what was it? Well, it didn't matter anymore, it didn't exist.
As I walked into the orphanage, I looked for a face I recognized. Someone I knew. The pretty blonde girl in the corner..? No. She looked a lot like my friend Shimmer, but she had scars running through her face...Wait! She's calling my name! I walked over to her.
"Sh-Shimmer?" I stuttered.
"Silver!" She wrapped me in a hug and I felt tears come to my eyes. She must've gotten hurt in-combat. "I haven't seen you in years…"
"Yeah, well, the Dark Days can ruin a lot...Where did you go?" I sat on the floor next to her, and I realized how skinny she was. I was fortunate to have received food daily back in the Cave.
"The forests of District 12...I was there when they blew up 13. My father went missing and he hasn't been found yet, and the scars...are from when I flew back." I imagined 11-year-old Shimmer flying back, branches scratching and scarring her face. I frowned, remembering the traumatic experience for me. I was in the Cave, which was on the outskirts of district 6. The men rushing down the hallway, one quietly kneeling next to me, saying the exact words I remember to this day.
"Shimmer, I'm sorry...your parents were blow up when District 13 was bombed."
That day was the day the people of Panem came up with the name 'Dark Days.' I cried forever that night, I remember everyone trying to comfort me. Nothing helped, of course. My thoughts were interrupted by a loudspeaker going off in the middle of the District, I rushed outside next to Shimmer to hear what was going on.
"Hello District 1! There will be a required attendance of every child in the district from the ages of 12 to 18. It will be tomorrow and you must be there by 8:45 AM. You will find out more later. Good night!" It hung up. I knew that voice, it was familiar...It was something to do with the Capitol's revenge on the Districts. I squeezed Shimmer's hand. "Let's go watch some TV, that'll help."
During a reality show we were watching based on girls trying to do their makeup as quick as possible, it was interrupted with the Capitol seal. The whole girl's orphanage quieted down as everyone payed attention. A man appeared on a stage.
"Hello everyone. It is I, your president, Roselia Snow. It has come to mind that the Districts have rebelled against the Capitol. We have won. It is over, and now we come to peace. In return for the District's severe actions, this is the punishment; each District will choose a boy and a girl from the ages of 12 to 18 randomly to participate in a game called the "Hunger Games." 24 children, known as tributes, will fight to the death in an arena, with one victor to overcome all. Every 25 years, there will be a 'Quarter Quell,' where the Games will be made more deadly. That is all, and good luck my new tributes."
I shook my head. I couldn't believe it. "I'm...going to sleep." Shimmer nodded as I rushed upstairs and flopped into my bed, crying painful tears. It was definite that rebel families were going to be picked...I had one of the most dangerous ones. Along with my friends. I imagined Fin, now I knew that sinking feeling. His father had killed so many Capitol guards. I cried myself to sleep until the dreaded morning of the 'Reaping'.
"Silver...Silver, wake up! It's already 8:30!" I woke up to Shimmer's face. I nodded, my eyes sore. I combed my short hair over the perimeter of my face, like usual. I splashed water in my face, put some cream on. At least this was the luxury district, I thought, feeling bad for districts like Kitty's. I put on one of my only clothing articles that actually had a nice feel to it; my mother's prom dress. I knew there weren't going to be any proms anymore, so I decided that this would be it's final prom. The reaping. It had a gorgeous silk scarf that hung loosely around my neck, and it was a sparkling white dress. I adjusted the grey scarf to match my eyes and walked out without Shimmer, who had already left. It was 8:50 and I was one of the few left. I saw one of those 'Peacekeeper' men.
"Finger," he said authoritatively. I wondered what he was going to do. He took a needle, jabbed it into my finger, then read the words on it. "Silver Grates. Carry on." He pushed my bleeding finger into a piece of paper and pushed me to a roped-off section that read '13.' I was directed into it as I saw the new mayor walk up to a podium and start speaking to crap. I looked over into the 12-year-old section, where Shimmer was. I frowned as the mayor walked away and a lady, in an explosive pink dress and cotton-candy hair, with tall heels that were glittering, walked up.
"Hello everyone! I'm Candy Gumm, and I'm District 1's escort this year! Who's excited?!" In the silence, I mimicked her horrible high-pitched voice. It hurt my ears.
"Well, I'm going to play a very special video all the way from the CAPITOL!" She made it sound like the Capitol was SO amazing. My god, I hated her.
War, terrible war. Widows, orphans, a motherless child. This was the uprising that rocked our land. Thirteen districts rebelled against the country that fed them, loved them, protected them. Brother turned on brother until nothing remained. And then came the peace, hard fought, sorely won. A people rose up from the ashes and a new era was born. But freedom has a cost. When the traitors were defeated, we swore as a nation we would never know this treason again. And so it was decreed, that each year, the various districts of Panem would offer up in tribute, one young man and woman, to fight to the death in a pageant of honor, courage and sacrifice. The lone victor, bathed in riches, would serve as a reminder of our generosity and our forgiveness. This is how we remember our past. This is how we safeguard our future.
I shivered, what a disgusting video. She said something about 'volunteers-' who the hell would volunteer to fight to the death? It sounded dumb. "Ladies first!" I crossed my fingers. I had a rebel family. It was going to be me…
"Silver Grates, the very first female tribute EVER!"
Was this some type of award? I still gasped. I didn't ACTUALLY expect to hear my name get called, out of all these kids. I slowly walked up, knowing my friends in other districts would be watching this very moment. I bared my teeth as I walked up the stage- my signature move. Facing my death. The 13 year old girl was facing her death. That was supremely unnatural.
The male was called; I recognized the boy to be an aggressive kid with a huge rebel family. They made us shake hands, he squeezed mine painfully. I frowned at him as they directed us to some 'rooms' to say goodbye. I hoped this wasn't my last goodbye.
"Promise me you won't cry
This is our last goodbye…"
-Ke$ha, 'Last Goodbye'
I wanted to go back to December so badly. So I could be hugging all my friends, not in a friendly way, but for warmth. I remember how I was between Kitty and Lyssan, Kitty especially was really warm. Probably because she had a fuzzy leather coat and we didn't, but who knows? This was my recap of life while I walked into the 'room.'
As soon as I sat down Shimmer rushed in. "SILVER! I-I...Just win, I wanna see you again, okay..?" I nodded.
"I'll miss you when I'm gone…"
"Silver?"
"Yes?"
"Can you do that song for me...just in case...this is the last time?" I nodded and started.
"I've got my ticket for the long way 'round
Two bottle whiskey for the way
And I sure would like some sweet company
Oh, I'm leaving tomorrow. What do you say?
When I'm gone (when I'm gone)
When I'm gone (when I'm gone)
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
You're gonna miss me by my hair
You're gonna miss me everywhere,
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
I've got my ticket for the long way 'round
The one with the prettiest view
It's got mountains, it's got rivers
It's got woods that give you shivers
But it sure would be prettier with you
When I'm gone (when I'm gone)
When I'm gone (when I'm gone)
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
You're gonna miss me by my walk
You'll miss me by my talk
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
I've got my ticket for the long way 'round
These feet weren't built to stay too long
And I'll go there on my own
But you'll miss me when you're home
It's for you, dear, that I sing this song
When I'm gone (when I'm gone)
When I'm gone (when I'm gone)
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
You're gonna miss me by my hair
You're gonna miss me everywhere
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
When I'm gone
When I'm gone
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
You're gonna miss me by my walk
You'll miss me by my talk
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone"
A man came in to take her away. "Bye, Shimmer," I said sadly, waving my final wave. And then I was rushed to a car.
"What is this?!" I mumbled to myself as we rode along, looking at the innocent ones on the side of the road. The ones who were still alive, not dead inside. I sighed.
We came to a train, and our escort explained how it would be a two day trip to the Capitol and all these "great" things about the train. I just got on and went to my room. I think the other boy went to eat. Anyway, by the time I woke up, it was around 2:00 AM. I turned on the television next to the bed and watched other reapings. Two vicious kids from District 2, I could've guessed. Seilide and Lyssan...I wanted to cry. Why us? Why? Because our parents were major rebels, and we took after them, we get punished? I kept watching as Lyssan held Seilide's hand. I remembered something from the first day we met…
"Lyssan and Seilide, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"
The good old days were over, though. That was something temporary. Now was now. I hoped the district 4 boy wouldn't be…
"Fin Call!"
It was. I felt tears come to my eyes; I didn't know why. Maybe it was the horror. In district 5 two muscular 18-year-olds were picked. In six were some small, weak twins. Seven had a dangerous looking boy and a scared girl. Eight had a red-head and a boy who volunteered, hugging her when he reached the stage. Nine had some regular kids...I shivered at ten. "Please don't be Kitty," I thought. I jinxed it, because when the girl's name was called, it was Kitty. I shut it off after that, I didn't want to watch kids go to waste. Like us. The kids like us.
"Sweetie, we're almost here...We should have some breakfast, hmm?" The daft escort, Candy, shook me and I woke up angrily. I was probably one of the youngest kids in the Games right now. Huge disadvantage. I was thinking all strategy, go time. I sat and eat a rather delicious cinnamon bun, even though I refused to admit it. I looked into the distance, through the window, and saw the Capitol. I had been there only 3 years before, hiding with my parents in some random girl's house. We kept her hostage and made sure she wouldn't talk. I remember telling her 'sorry' as we left. I felt bad. We went through a tunnel, and then we were there, in front of cheering Capitol citizens.
I got out, and bodyguards pushed through the crowd, reporters trying to talk to me, people asking for my autograph. So this is what fame looks like, I thought to myself, as I approached the huge hotel. We were the final district to arrive, it seemed. That meant I could see my friends! It was horrible, I knew, but I didn't think it would be within the next week. I approached all of the taller kids who were talking. "Guys?"
They faced me and smiled. It was a slightly happy, slightly oh-well-here's-one-of-the-dead-kids. Appreciate me while I lasted, at least. I didn't like the sound of that. As soon as we pulled away and I opened my mouth to speak, I was dragged away by some crazy-looking Capitol people. "We're your stylists!" A girl with golden tattoos all over her body smiled at me. A man with diamond-studded eyebrows shook my hand, and an older woman dressed up like a cat hugged me. "Just follow us; tonight's a big night!" You could say that again. Except, next time, I'm punching you.
They laid me down and started arguing as soon as they saw my right eyebrow. "No, no, no, that just won't do!" The man examined it closely. It had a scar running through it from a Capitol soldier who attacked me with a knife once. My mother shot him right as he would've killed me. It was my battle scar, it wasn't going away.
"It stays." I said promptly, and they looked at each other.
"But-" I shook my head. Repeating myself. They sighed reluctantly and started putting makeup on me, waxing my body, whitening my teeth. I already had lengthy eyelashes and they seemed to like that, at least. One of my only non-flaws. They had me put on some sort of wedding gown to "Represent your district, darling!" It was encrusted with opals and they gave me some earrings to put through my lip. That's right, I pierced my lip when I was 12. Personally. I put them in and put a ribbon in my hair, as they said. "Who's looking gor-GEOUS?!" They laughed and showed me a mirror. I looked really good. Not extremely, not kinda. Really. That's my word for it and that's how it's going to stay. They led me out to some sort of chariot, where I saw my district partner dressed in a similar tux, embedded with diamonds. I frowned at him and got in as instructed.
"Now get an impression! You want people to sponsor you in the Games!" I shook my head, confused, and we started going, led by beautiful white and silver horses. I looked at the crowd curiously and the screams hit me. I clenched my teeth and tried ignoring it, but then they FREAKING THREW ROSES AT US! I got one caught in my hair. It didn't have any thorns, thank god. I put it behind my ear, and the crowd went freaking wild. My district partner stomped on my foot and I grimaced, ignoring the pain. I heard a voice speaking about how the district 12 pair had just come out and we stopped. The Panem Anthem played, and we got out, speaking to each other.
"We gotta team up," I told my group as we got together. They nodded.
"But...if it comes down to two of us, who'll die?" Seilide frowned. I shrugged.
"Whatever happens, happens." Little did I know that later on, Kitty would be committing suicide for Lyssan. Little did I know…
Training, week two. It had been a full week since I had gotten reaped, my life ruined. I wouldn't let these games change me. I was gonna win. Apparently tonight, we got scored on our training. I didn't care and decided to skip training altogether today, to show the Capitol that it wasn't worth it. Candy kept trying to persuade me but I kept a straight face and consistently said "No."
4:00, my turn. I was the first kid to go in for training scores. District One sucked. What was my advantage weapon..? I gave them a good show, throwing knives and killing dummies with sheer force. By the time I was done, the 'Gamemakers' clapped and I walked out. I felt good about myself and I tugged at the strings on the hoodie they supplied us. That night, from a 1-12 scale, they gave me a 10. I wasn't the best, a district 2 kid got a 12, but other than that, I was pretty good. Now, tomorrow we had a show, and then, the Games.
Showtime.
I came on stage in a simple, short, skin-tied, silver dress. My name really got that silver stuff going. I was unhappy again. I realized the Games were changing me, and I didn't like it. But I had to act mature on stage "for the sponsors, hun!" I saw a man, sitting on a white couch. I sat in the one across from him and he announced to the audience, "For the Hunger Games first premiere, The Sparke Showww!" I blinked and he smiled his magnificent smile at me.
"Hello, and you are..?"
"Silver Grates."
"My, my! You are mag-nificenttt! So, as our first guest, what are your feelings for the Games?"
"Well, I'm scared. Part of me wants to run from it all, go back home, but the other half says, 'Fight!' I'm really confused. I think I just wanna stick with my friends…"
We talked for about 5 minutes and a buzzer rang. The audience screamed and a girl tried climbing on stage for my autograph, but there was an invisible force around us. I smiled and walked off, and as soon as I got out of view, I frowned and put my head down, walking past the others in line. "Good luck," I mumbled, going to my room to sleep. My final resting before the Games, and hopefully not my final rest, period.
I walked downstairs to where everyone was leaving, but my district partner and I seemed like the only ones who weren't excited. Candy almost screamed with delight. I remember glaring her and saying, "Goodbye, freak." We were taken to a hovercraft-type thing where all the tributes gathered. I sat in the chair that said SILVER - 1 on it. A woman in a bleached white outfit came around with some needle insertion device. As she approached me, I shrunk back, but she grabbed my arm and it numbed as soon as it poked me. A jolt of pain still went up my arm as she clicked a button that inserted this glowing thing. I watched it as it went into my veins and turned off. She walked away and I stuck out my tongue, that was gross. Everyone seemed pretty surprised as she inserted it, and right after she finished, the hovercraft came to a stop.
I looked at my friends as each of us were unloaded and brought to a small room with a tube in it and a chair. The stylist with golden tattoos walked in with some clothes. "Hey, hun, let's get ready!" She smiled and gave me the clothes, which I put on. It was a hoodie with a '1' on the back and some soft denim pants, along with some soft boots. She offered me a glass of water that I only took a sip from, then a light flashed on above the tube. I pushed my hair out of my eyes and the tube opened up, and a black circle lifted up. "Okay, so, stand on that, and the Games will begin!" She giggled and I took slow steps to the circle. As soon as both my feet were on the tube closed around me and I couldn't hear from outside. I shook in fear, and I heard a voice, and the circle began lifting.
It lifted into a foggy place with a marsh. I saw my friends lifting up on identical circles. A voice echoed around the arena. "Don't step off the pedestals before the gong, or you will be blown to bits."
As soon as my eyes surveyed the place, I noticed in the middle was a golden horn filled with bags, food, and weapons. I made eye contact with Kitty, who was next to me. It said, "Let's go for the stuff!" She shook her head violently, but I nodded in Fin's direction. He grinned. I looked at the timer on the horn. 3. 2. 1…
GONG!
I raced for the items in the middle, full speed. I wanted something good. I could hear Kitty screaming, "STAY BACK! STOP! GUYS!" I saw Fin grabbing a bag near the 'pedestals,' and I headed straight for the center. I grabbed A bag, which I slung over my shoulder, a metal staff, and a curved sword. As I reached for a belt with knives for the others, I was pushed down. I spun around to look into the eyes of the District 2 boy.
"Die!" He brought a sword down to my chest, which I quickly blocked with the staff. I rolled sideways as he tried crushing my skull, the jumped up, whacking his temple. He stumbled and I kicked him in the gut, grabbing the knives and racing to my friends. I tossed the knives to Lyssan and rushed into the brush, next to Fin.
"Damn! The kids from 2...geez…" Fin groaned, showing a scar on his leg from the District 2 girl.
"They're teaming." My eyes met with his and we looked around as the others stumbled through.
"Silver...I was so scared…" Seilide bit her lip and Lyssan started handing out the knives I gave him.
"What do we call them? The two kids?" Lyssan looked around.
"The Careers?" Fin looked down at his knife, spinning it around. I nodded and everyone else did, too. I heard something moving.
"Let's skedaddle." We ran towards a swamp, where we filled some bottles Fin and I found in our bags. We were only one short.
"I'll survive." Fin gave Kitty the last one, then stood up. "We need more food. Only a few crackers and an apple is NOT enough." Lyssan pointed to a bush near a few trees.
"There's some berries in that bush that could hold us off." Suddenly, cannons started firing. I took cover under a bush. Lyssan counted to three. "Three dead." I made a face at him. "Didn't you listen? Each cannon represents a death." My eyes widened, and so did everyone else. Seilide sighed and walked over to the bushes, picking the berries and putting them in a small bag that the apple was in.
Everyone kept doing that until nighttime hit. The humidity changed to freezing cold, and I heard the Anthem playing. I saw a light in the sky and watched as faces appeared in the sky.
The district seven girl's face, and a picture of the 2 boy at the horn, smashing her face into the side and blood splattering everywhere.
The district nine boy, tripping over a root in the ground and the 12 girl grabbing his neck and strangling him to death.
The twelve girl, moments after her kill. She laughed and stared down at the body as a knife flew into her back and she toppled over the dead boy, dead.
The anthem finished and I heard everyone lying down, going to sleep. I decided to keep guard. The amount of kids seemed so small compared to the size of the arena. I lay against the tree with the berries, watching over everyone. During the rebellion we often took shifts after some sort of invasion or something.
Midnight. I was playing in the dirt with a stick when I heard a rustling. "Who's that?" I hissed, looking over.
"Just me." Fin smiled. I sighed with relief as he popped a berry in his mouth. "Mm...tastes good...kinda sweet." He made a sour face. "The aftertaste… SUCKS! Eww…" I pushed the berry I was about to eat away from me, and Fin started choking. Lyssan sat up.
"Wha- Why's Fin choking?!" I shook my head and stared as Fin coughed up the berry, along with some blood.
"Fin! FIN!" I grabbed his shoulders and shook him. "What's going on?!" He stared into my eyes blankly and licked his lips a final time. He slumped back, and I heard a cannon go off. Immediately everyone woke up, staring at me.
"What happened?!"
"Is he...dead…?"
"FIN?!"
I shook my head in disbelief as I looked into the sky, saw myself and Lyssan panicking as Fin choked to death. I grabbed the berries. "Poison…" I threw them away, happy noone else ate them...But Fin was dead. Nothing could change that. I slowly rose by hands to his face, gingerly shutting his eyes for the final time. We carried his dead body to a mossy rock in the middle of the swamp, and laid him there, as a final resting place.
I cried all night.
My only friend since the rebellion started. I remembered the 10 year old boy standing next to me, two years younger.
"Hey, I'm Fin. This is Silver, from district 1. We're coming to play with you guys."
Everything's pretty blurry for the next four days. All I remember was encountering the district 11 kids, and the boy attacking us. I remember smashing him with my staff and taking my curved blade to his neck. In a fit of anger. I remember the girl running away, only to be caught in the back of the head by Lyssan's blade. He really liked throwing knives.
Now we were standing at a rickety bridge.
"Okay, I'll go first. Then Lyssan, then Seilide, then Kitty. 'Kay?" Everyone nodded as I took a step forward onto the delicate bridge. Then another. I kept my balance. I was halfway across the ravine as I stepped on something, and I heard something shifting.
"Guys..?!"
Shining silver darts flew out everywhere and I screamed in terror. The connected with my body, into by back, my legs, my arms…
The final one collided with my heart.
I fell over, and I was dragged back into the grass before the bride. I felt a salty tear drip down my neck.
"I'm...dead…" I coughed up little blood, and I felt Kitty's sleeve wiping it away. "...No…"
I stared into Kitty's eyes, everything fading into light quickly. "W-win for me...one of you…" The last thing I heard was a cannon blaring, my face and a small video of me getting shot by darts.
The perfect way to kill a silver girl. With silver darts.
"Hey Fin. I'm here now, don't worry…"