Title: Please Don't Go
Author: Syntyche
Rating: PGish for mild violence
Legal shtuff: Despite my best efforts, Obi-Wan belongs (sniff) to George Lucas. Qui-Gon also belongs to George Lucas (sniff). He can have Darth Maul and Anakin without any complaint from me.
Archive: JAFD, Club Obi. I'm not sure of any others, so anyone else, please ask. :-)
Summary: A slightly altered version of the duel of the fates.
Feedback will be cherished and adored for this maiden effort into the realm of Phantom Menace fanfiction: thanks to the listers of the betasanonymous YahooGroup, and most especially Peta, Xehra, and Jane Jinn, without whom this story would have languished on a disk forever because "I had a bad feeling" about it.
// Speaking through the Master/Padawan bond; Force visions
Does that cover everything:-)
Please Don't Go
By: Syntyche
Outside the red shield walls that had trapped both Master and Apprentice the black-clad Sith was waiting for them, stalking back and forth in his impatience to continue the battle. Once, he tested the forcefield closest to him – the one separating him from Obi-Wan – by striking it quickly with a blade of his double-bladed lightsaber. The saber's touch hissed against the humming wall, sending pulses of energy skittering across its surface, but the forcefield remained standing. Obi-Wan watched the dark warrior calmly, but didn't move from the meditative posture he had adopted when the forcefield had closed him in.
Qui-Gon could just see the bowed head of his Padawan at the end of the long hallway of laser walls that separated them. The young man was carefully trying to center himself before they were forced to continue the fight. Qui-Gon was surprised and pleased Obi-Wan was actually attempting meditation at this point; while a capable apprentice, Obi-Wan found the Living Force somewhat elusive and that left him lacking in the area of meditation. Qui-Gon would have thought it more likely his headstrong Padawan would be bouncing on the balls of his feet or at least fidgeting impatiently as he waited for the shields to drop and the battle to resume.
However, Qui-Gon admitted he felt like doing a little fidgeting himself. He had been Force-pushed by the Sith and fallen several stories to a lower platform. By the time the Jedi Master had pulled himself up and managed the jump to the catwalk above, Obi-Wan was already at the far end, dueling swiftly toward the energy walls leading toward the generator room. Qui-Gon had quickly followed, but the lasers had snapped into place as he'd run toward them, locking him outside the first wall and sealing Obi-Wan at the end of the long hallway. Just beyond Obi-Wan, the Sith prowled the generator room impatiently.
Qui-Gon attempted to focus on his own meditation, preparing himself. He knew that with a Force-assisted run, he could reach his Padawan before the walls closed again. Obi-Wan would know that, too, and Qui-Gon hoped it would bolster his confidence that his Master would soon rejoin the fight. He could tell Obi-Wan's adrenaline was still running high, and his Padawan's strength and determination would keep him successfully battling the Sith alone until Qui-Gon could reach his side.
Qui-Gon tried unsuccessfully to touch Obi-Wan's mind. The Jedi Master could see the tension radiating off his apprentice as he struggled with his meditation, but when Qui-Gon attempted to calm his Padawan through their bond, Obi-Wan closed him off abruptly. Qui-Gon's forehead creased in worry. He and his Padawan should be completely open to each other during this battle. What was Obi-Wan thinking??
Obi-Wan had been trying to meditate, to focus on the Living Force and center his racing mind, but the instant he had dropped into a meditative state, the vague, hazy vision had come.
//The elongated silver handle of the double-bladed lightsaber struck Qui-Gon on the chin, hard, snapping his head back. Before Qui-Gon could recover, the lightsaber had plunged through his torso.
"Nooooo!!" Obi-Wan's mind screamed. That couldn't happen!//
The scene changed and Obi-Wan was cradling Qui-Gon in his arms, watching as the life drained away from the only father he had ever known.
//"Train him," Qui-Gon rasped softly, securing a desperate promise from the despairing young man he was about to leave an orphan. "Train the boy."//
Obi-Wan blinked as the vision cleared. It had taken a matter of seconds to play out, but Obi-Wan had the instinctive feeling that it was more than a possible future that had flashed before his eyes – it was the future as things stood now.
His Master was calling him through their bond, but Obi-Wan shut him out, his mind racing over what he had just seen.
Train the boy. Anakin. He couldn't train Anakin. He was no more than a Padawan-learner himself! How could Qui-Gon ask such a thing of him? And so soon after he had informed the Council that Obi-Wan still had much to learn – especially if the boy was the chosen one?
Obi-Wan had no doubt he was incapable of training the boy.
But Qui-Gon believed in Anakin.
Believed in him enough to risk everything on the boy winning that ridiculous podrace. Believed in him enough to bring him from Tatooine and before the Council.
Believed in him enough to publicly disown the apprentice who had stood by his side for more than twelve years, not because he truly believed Obi-Wan was ready for his Trials, but because it was the only way he could see to make room for training the boy.
The only way.
Only, it didn't have to be.
Obi-Wan lifted his head. He could feel Qui-Gon on the edge of their bond, telling him to be cautious and sending him reassurances that he would rejoin the fight that would result in his death.
No, Master, you will not.
Obi-Wan firmly reestablished his mental shields and focused all his energy instead on the area where his strength lay, the Unifying Force. He lifted a hand to the wall, receiving a sharp jolt from the energy field. Pain lanced through the burnt skin, but Obi-Wan refused to give up. He blanketed himself in the Unifying Force, drew a deep breath, and stepped through the wall.
Qui-Gon saw Obi-Wan rise from his kneeling. A new rigidity marked the set of his shoulders and Qui-Gon wondered if his meditation had been successful. I'm coming, Obi-Wan, he thought, frustrated at not being able to feel what his apprentice was thinking. Wait for me.
Qui-Gon watched in confusion as Obi-Wan put a hand on the pulsing energy wall, and sheer horror washed over his puzzlement as Obi-Wan, without even looking back, proceeded to step forward, and go through the wall.
The fight between his apprentice and the Sith had resumed, Obi-Wan's lightsaber up and at the ready as he emerged from the energy shield. Qui-Gon could see that Obi-Wan's strikes were weaker now, his defensive parries much slower than before – much too slow. The effort of going through the wall had drained his Padawan badly.
//Why, Obi-Wan?// Qui-Gon demanded in confused agony. //Why? I'm coming … why couldn't you wait?//
The forcefields hummed and turned, leaving the long hallway open. Qui-Gon poured all his strength into speed, and raced toward his apprentice. Now the walls were humming again, ready to spring back into life, but Qui-Gon made it through, lightsaber twirling as he prepared to rejoin the fight. The Sith had his back to him, fighting an obviously tired Obi-Wan, but the apprentice hung on determinedly … until he met his Master's eyes. Qui-Gon saw the clear blue-grey eyes settle on him for a brief second, and a hint of an accepting smile twisted Obi-Wan's lips. Obi-Wan brought his lightsaber up into a position of total surrender.
The Sith cut him down.
"Obi-Wan!! NO!!!!!" Qui-Gon screamed as the red blade swung around and burned through his apprentice's vulnerable belly, sliding out through his back. Obi-Wan gasped slightly, his resigned smile twisting into a grimace. His sharp eyes unfocussed as the Sith pulled the blade out and he collapsed, slumping forward over his knees, the horrible, horrible, already cauterized wound visible only as a black scorch mark on his white tunics.
Qui-Gon was certain his heart had been ripped into shreds, but he would not let his Padawan's sacrifice be in vain. Tearing his eyes from his fallen apprentice, he forced his turbulent emotions aside and rounded upon the Sith. Before the dark warrior could turn from his grisly work, the Jedi Master had sliced him in half from behind. The Sith tumbled to the floor, but Qui-Gon took no pleasure in striking him down; he saw nothing but his fallen Padawan.
//Obi-Wan.//
Stumbling around the black-clad corpse in his way, Qui-Gon moved to where his apprentice lay folded into himself, arms clasped loosely around his wounded middle. Gently he guided the small, trembling shoulders back into his strong arms, one hand coming up to brush against the smooth cheek of the young man he loved as a son. Obi-Wan's face was a contorted mask of pain, and Qui-Gon could see clearly now that his push through the energy wall had cost him: angry crimson burns marred his face and his hands, and the smell of burnt hair and clothing mingled with the stench of blood and blackened flesh.
"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon breathed. The shattered remains of his heart clenched as he pulled the dying young man close to his chest. "Why didn't you wait for me?"
Obi-Wan's blue-grey eyes blinked weakly as he struggled to focus on his Master. "Couldn't … train … Anakin," he labored to explain, his breath coming in short, harsh gasps.
Qui-Gon shook his head in confusion. "What?"
Obi-Wan knew he didn't have the time or strength to elucidate upon what he had seen, so, making a supreme effort to concentrate, he sent Qui-Gon a brief flash of the vision he had seen. "Couldn't train Anakin," he repeated softly, after Qui-Gon drew back in horrified understanding from the pictures Obi-Wan had splashed across his mind. Obi-Wan slumped further in Qui-Gon's arms, exhausted from his effort.
Qui-Gon's eyes were damp. "But why, Obi-Wan? Why?" Yoda always said the future was in motion … surely this could have happened differently?
Obi-Wan's slender fingers came up to curl weakly around the callused thumb that was gently wiping the tears from his cheeks. He was ashamed for being weak, even now, he had always been weak. He could see the pain in Qui-Gon's eyes and hated the fact that he was causing it. He tried, with his failing strength, to set his Master's mind at ease.
"Knew … " he breathed, dulcet tones fading as he failed to keep the darkness at bay, "… boy was important. Would have failed his training." Obi-Wan's eyes were closing. He coughed, gasped, and struggled to speak again. "Wasn't ready … to l-leave you. Only way … "
Qui-Gon tightened his grip on his Padawan, trying to be gentle but holding him as if he could keep Obi-Wan alive by willing it to be so. "Obi-Wan … "
Qui-Gon broke down, sobbing and pouring strength into the young man who didn't deserve this fate. He should have realized the situation with Anakin would have re-ignited Obi-Wan's feelings of unworthiness; Obi-Wan had surmised in his calm way that the Council would not deny a grieving Qui-Gon the boy to train, and paid the price of his life willingly. "Please don't go," the Master begged softly.
Obi-Wan's blue-grey eyes flicked open once more as Qui-Gon's strength blanketed his failing body. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "Didn't want to leave you." A ghost of a sorrowful smile touched his pained face. "No choice."
"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said desperately, knowing his Padawan was dying and he was powerless to help him, but trying to ease the doubts Obi-Wan carried. "Listen to me, Obi-Wan. I've known you were ready for your Trials for a long time; but I – I," Qui-Gon's strong voice stumbled. He drew a deep breath. "I didn't want you to go, my Ben, my son." Qui-Gon's broad shoulders hunched as his tears overwhelmed him. "I don't want you to go now. Please, Obi-Wan, please don't go … "
"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan murmured automatically, and Qui-Gon could see that Obi-Wan's strength, one of his greatest assets, had reached its end. The young Padawan summoned up a tired, reassuring smile for his Master, and Qui-Gon thought his heart had shattered anew as he saw the bright, relentless boy who had changed Qui-Gon's life through his tenacity, who had doggedly refused to give up when Qui-Gon rejected him time and again, instead barreling his way into the stubborn Master's life with a presence that simply refused to be ignored.
And the poised and determined young man the boy had become. Headstrong, but capable – more than capable – kind and gentle, but with a dry wit Qui-Gon didn't always understand.
They were both there in the smile of an apprentice who had sacrificed his life for his Master simply because he loved him.
It was too much to bear. Obi-Wan hadn't believed in the boy. There was no reason for him to die for a cause that was his Master's alone.
But he would.
And now he was leaving. Qui-Gon knew he couldn't keep him here, but Force, how he tried.
Qui-Gon's forehead came down to rest on Obi-Wan's. His Padawan's eyes had closed for the last time, but his labored breathing continued and his body was tense and trembling in Qui-Gon's arms. Obi-Wan's mental shields were unraveling rapidly, and his agony slammed into Qui-Gon like a physical wall. Rivers of salty water were flowing down Qui-Gon's face, and carefully he gathered the Force around him, crooning softly to his ailing apprentice. "Rest now, my Obi-Wan," he whispered, sending waves of calm through their fading bond.
Soothing Obi-Wan's pain, Qui-Gon gently guided him into a sleep that would keep the pain away until his body failed and his heartbeat ceased.
"Sleep, my son."
Finis