Chapter I: Pressure

We grew up together, this girl and I; she shares a similar life with Rukia. Or at least that is what she tells me about herself.

Rukia graduated from the academy and was assigned to the 13th division early on because of her new family status as a Kuchiki. I was alone in the academy, not that I cared too much. But it was such an odd feeling, going from being with someone on a daily basis; to suddenly being on your own. Rukia and I were great friends, ever since we were children; we had a strong bond that I thought would not change, but it did for a while.

I still remember the very first day I was on my own, I was walking through the halls and I heard a female yelling and deep voices coming from down the hall. I was curious and couldn't help myself, I could have chosen to ignore it, but I'm glad I didn't. Turning the corner of a hallway I found a first-year girl trapped in the corner by a group of upperclassmen. Pulling at her uniform, hair, and teasing her. We made eye contact and I could see fear in her eyes, she had put up a fight, she had blood coming out of her mouth and her hands balled up into a fist.

That day reminded me a lot of when I first met Rukia; she had given food to a kid that could not fend for himself. She taught me a lesson that day, it's not just about me but the others around me.

I started hanging out with her, she was the influence I needed in my life since Rukia left, someone who saw life in a different way from myself. Someone who could see the good in people despite their actions.

Katsumi, was a great student, someone who asked questions and most importantly excelled in Kido, a study I lacked in. She was recognized by our teachers because she had a resolved that grew as she got stronger; something that should always happen as a student.

For a while, we were close, just like how Rukia and I were; until Katsumi was moved to the 8th Division.

•••

"Captain?" I said as I knocked on Captain's door lightly.

"Yes, yes, come in my sweet Katsumi." I heard Captain Kyoraku call in a warm and welcoming voice. It took me months to get used to his warm way of addressing his members, he always teases his female Vice Captain, Ise. She hated it most of the time, and also scolded him.

I opened the door to his office, my stomach churning when I made eye contact with my Captain who sat at his wooden desk with a cup of Sake in his right hand and a warm smile painted on his face. No matter the situation Captain always had a smile on his face and of course chasing after Ise; despite being told many times that she was not interested he continued to chase after her, I guess the challenge was something he loved.

"Katsumi, how are you doing tonight? Would you like some Sake?" he held up a bottle that sat by the half full cup on his desk. His office was filled with books, and of course paperwork. Unlike the other captain's offices he worked by a soft light and not the harsh lighting that an overhead light would provide.

I shook my head; turning down his offer. "I'm fine, thank you. I am here because Tomoya said you wanted to talk with me. It seemed rather urgent, so…here I am." I shrugged.

A chuckle escaped his lips. "Ease up Katsumi, this is more of a check-in versus an urgent meeting, or however Tomoya phrased it."

I was still uncomfortable about having one on ones, they were usually done once a month, or in Captain's case done whenever he wanted or when he had the chance. It allowed him to see how his members were doing; it allowed him to see if he could improve. Many of us members, took it as a way for him to get to know us. The older members would just come into his office if they needed to chat, us newer members, on the other hand, were tracked down at least once a month. I let a heavy sigh out and kept my posture straight, I was tilted my head to the right and remembered that I had my check in just last week. He visited me while I was on rounds and we chatted for what seemed like an hour.

I let a heavy sigh out and kept my posture straight, I tilted my head to the right and remembered that I had my check in just last week. He visited me while I was on rounds and we chatted for what seemed like an hour.

Everything is fine, why do this?

"Wait, we did our check in just last week. Why am I here?"

It's around 9pm, I am not on duty today.

Reasons kept adding up in my head and it didn't make me feel any better about this impromptu meeting.

"Okay, think of this as a chat. You can leave if you want to, I am not going to force you to stay if you do not want to." He took a sip from his cup, he looked at me as I shifted my weight to my right side.

"Alright, what's up?" I nodded.

"How have you been doing? How is the division treating you?"

"Good, I like it here. It is pretty chill, unlike when I was under Captain Kuchiki. Don't get me wrong he is a great guy…just a little strict."

"I understand that; glad you like it here." He took another sip. "So how are you adjusting? Sleeping?"

His voice went from teasing and playful to serious. I shook my head and let a smile curl onto my lips.

I knew it, check in my ass. I know what you are getting at Captain. But I can't just be rude.

"Fine." I shrugged. "Is this why I am here? To have you check in on my sleeping habits?"

"Well…" He trailed off. "No, Tomoya came to me after you guys were on duty and told me you were a little off. As if something was bothering you, he assumed it was the lack of sleep, or at least that what he told me you told him at some point."

Lovely; Tomoya you 3rd seat prick. He is a great guy, guess he's just worried.

Tomoya was a senior member of the division, he's been in the Division for about 7 years. He had the option of moving to another division or even being promoted but he liked serving under Captain Kyoraku and Vice-Captain Ise. Tomoya was the one who was assigned to shadow me while I was on guard duty.

"I am adjusting quite fine. Just having some issues of my own. Nothing I cannot handle." I switched my weight to my left side.

"I know, but that was 3 months ago, I figured you would be adjusted by now." He got up from his desk and stretched his legs.

"I am."

"So what is the issue that is making it hard for you to sleep?"

Nightmares, anxiety, depression, you know the usual. Wow, that sounds dark.

"Like I said, just having some trouble of my own." I scratched the back of my neck.

A heavy sigh escaped his lips, he was giving up. "Alright, I can see I'm not going to get anything out of you. Which is fine; but I want you to keep yourself healthy; not just physically but mentally. The last thing I want is to see my little Kat in the infirmary again." He teased.

"Won't happen again. Night Captain." I turned and left his office without another word.

The warm air caressed my face and I welcomed the breath of fresh air that wasn't the Captain's office. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and relaxed my body.

"Just tired?" I heard a deep voice say. I let out the deep breath in the form of a heavy sigh and opened my eyes to see Renji leaning against the wooden balcony outside of my Captain's Office.

"Hi, Renji. Listening in on a private conversation, nosy."

Renji laughed. "No, just curious as to where you ran off to since we were supposed to go out tonight."

Right, I was invited out by Rangiku to go out for drinks tonight; while I am not a friend of hers, she invited me out to get to know me better. She was close friends with Renji, so she heard a lot about me from him.

"Whoops. My Captain wanted to have a chat with me."

"It's fine. I spoke with her while I was at the bar with her. She was sad that you couldn't make it, but she figured you had something that called you away. But she really wants you to take a break at some point and hang out with her. Hell, maybe even join the Shinigami Women's Association. What did Kyoraku want to chat about?"

I stretched and started to walk to my room, trying to get away from my Captain's office. Renji followed by my side reminding me of when we first met in the academy.

"He was just wondering about me adjusting to the Division." I shrugged it off.

He sighed. "By adjusting, you mean how are you sleeping?"

"Yeah. It's just annoying. I can function on a few hours of sleep." I waved off the question.

"He's not annoying, he's concerned Kat. Ever since that day when Captain Unohana had you sent to the infirmary because you collapsed." He put his left hand on my shoulder; which brought me to a solid stop in my tracks. "I think you need to understand that he doesn't know a single thing about you aside from what is written in your file. You need to realize that while it seems annoying to you, he just wants to understand what is going on in your head that is keeping you in a state of displeasure. Just like how you jokingly tell me about how Nanao is a challenge for him; you are quite the same. You push him aside and dodge his questions which allows him to continue to push you."

I rolled my eyes and nodded. Thing is, no one knew about my past, not even Renji. We made a promise, we would not force the other to talk about their past until they were ready. It was easy to see that it bothered us were hard headed, easy to anger, and most of all closed off.

"I know." I left it at that and we continued to walk toward my room in silence.

•••

Outside of her room we stopped, she turned to me and I could see she had something to say. Biting the inside of her cheek and playing with her jet black shoulder length hair.

"You know, I still think about that day."

I knew exactly what she was talking about, the day she was cornered, the day these guys tried to…hurt her…rape her…damn, I don't want to think about what could've happened. I charged into them and beat them down with my bare hands, my blood boiling. Those who hurt a woman do not deserve to breathe. I pushed the guys aside and grabbed the one who was pulling at her uniform and punched him in the face; I hit him so hard he hit the floor. I remember that I was pulled off of him by our teachers because I just kept hitting him. His words mumbled because of the blood in his mouth and the tears in his eyes 'sorry', 'stop', 'please', nothing mattered, I just wanted everyone to see him as an example.

"Is that what is bothering you?" I asked seeing the hurt in her eyes, her body language was closed off. She swayed side to side, bringing her hand up to her hair and swirling a black strand around her pointer finger. She couldn't even keep eye contact with me, she took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"Renji!" A male voice yelled my name.

Fuck, I was so close.

Shuuhei showed up and draped his arm around my shoulder. "Yo, you ditched us at the party. What's up?" I could smell the alcohol on his breath, he had enough to drink, more than normal. "Hey, Kat!"

Kat…she hated that nickname. But she allowed me to use it, it was my way of getting back at her when she called me pineapple head.

"Vice Captain Hisagi." Her tone cold, distant, she was not happy with him.

He laughed, his face just a bit red. "Come on Kat, we've been friends long enough. No need for the formalities. Come to the party guys."

"I'm good. Night." She opened her door and closed it. Click.

Locked.

I grabbed Shuuhei's arm and flash stepped to the entrance of the 8th division area. "How drunk could you possibly be? We were talking!" I snapped.

"You could've done that at the party! Maybe she would have loosened up more and you could've made your move!"

"I'm done with this," I growled as I took my leave.

I was close to seeing what the problem was, so close and he just shows up.