I don't remember ever buying any capcom characters or references, so therefore I don't own any of them. The same goes for all the celebrities and television references so please don't sue me. The second story is here hope you like it and please review.
Just watching a little T.V.
Sparda the human's great demonic savior was indeed a walking a legend. His wife Eva, whose beauty and kind heart could even sway a demon's nature. Then their were their two twin boys Vergil and Dante. Vergil who's sophisticated manner was unheard of at the age of ten. While Dante's reckless behavior meant many trips to the principal's office for the young troublemaker. Luckily this story takes place on a Saturday.
The legendary Sparda was doing what he did every Saturday watching television with his boys, while his wife slept in. Then the fight started "Switch it back to the history channel you misguided fool." To which Dante said "What do you me misguided, I'm guiding the TV. straight to pro wrestling." Sparda, who was playing referee, just thought of an idea to solve the television troubles. He smiled and looked at his boy's "I think it's time I let you guys in on a little secret." The twins turned their heads and asked simultaneously. "What is it?" "Do you remember the story of the Temen-ni-gru tower?" Dante was the first to reply "Of course Dad, it's you sent all those demons back down under crying for their mommies. Then Vergil said "It's also the story of how you fell in love with mom right?" Sparda just nodded "You're both right, but did you know a few of those lesser demons managed to possess a few poor souls before your old man could knock them out with the rest.
The twins were amazed; Vergil had to ask "What became of these demons?" Sparda just laughed and said look no further than our television. Sparda grabbed the remote and started flipping through channels until he came upon one of those demons that he knew. Dante just said "No way are you serious?" while Vergil just said "unbelievable." On the screen was a music video with the lyrics "Billie jean is not my lover; she's just someone who thinks I am the one." Sparda just looked and sighed "Did you think the skin change and nose problems were health problems, nope just over exposure to demonic possession." Dante wanted to know more about just who else was a puppet for these lesser demons. One look in Vergil's eyes showed the same desire. Then Dante got the courage to guess just who else escaped his father's judgment. "I bet the Teletubbies are demons" he said very sure of himself. Vergil's face became distorted and confused "You still watch the Teletubbies?" Dante's eyes darted back in forth "Oh course not, why would I watch that gay ass Tinky Winky and Poe always playing with his freaking truck." Vergil just smiled "Ok how would you know that's what their still doing if you don't watch it and mom said no swearing in the house, you're getting the darkroom.
Dante groaned at the thought of the darkroom, but Verg was right. His father then showed him to the darkroom and told him to stay there for 10 minutes. What might you ask is in the darkroom; well just as it says it's a small darkroom. The punishment however much more badly that a lack of sunlight, Agni and Rudra are kept in the darkroom. So for ten minutes Dante had to endure the on going conversation held by Agni and Rudra. After the ten minutes were up
Dante was shaking and whispering shut up, shut up, shut up. He was also greeted by a smirking Vergil who felt very pleased with himself. So after Dante calmed down (He never knew those two could talk about cockroaches and lint for so long.) Sparda answered the Teletubbies related question. "Oh of course in fact half of PBS is demon oriented from those weird aliens to giant birds.
The twins were shocked to here this, then they just had to know more. Sparda was happy to help with his sons and their curiosity. Vergil spoke first "Ok how about President Bush?" Dante jumped in "Yeah I mean no guy can be that messed up in the head." Sparda was ready for this one "Nope sorry it's not demonic influence he's just really stupid. Dante then said "How about those directors that made movies like I Know Who Killed Me, Cat Woman and other really bad movies?" Sparda nodded "Yep demons fault also It's demons that make all these horrible reality TV shows like My Dads Better Than Yours, American Inventor , and all those other shows that should have never existed. Vergil was next to ask his father a question. "How about talk shows and soap operas are they demon related?" Dante gave his brother a wth (what the hell) look. "You watch soap operas?" "It's only because I'm in the room when mom's watching them?" Dante smiled "Right" then coughed "Queer" under his breath. Sparda didn't mind any of this since he knew if he spoke badly of soap operas, Eva would torture him with a marathon of them. He remembered how last time he barricaded himself in the darkroom for a whole night.
Anyway back to the question Sparda thought about how he really wanted to be in bed next to Eva. Then he said "How about I just tell you each person possessed by a demon?" The twins nodded their heads in agreement. Sparda said "Ok here goes Britney Spears, Kevin Federline, Tom Cruise, Oprah (that's how she lost all the weight), Dr. Phil. Soap opera writers, Soulja Boy, Hilary Clinton, Donald Trump (wig hides the horns), Grimace from McDonalds, and Barney. With that Sparda told the boys to get ready for dinner. Vergil and Dante looked at each other in amazement. Dante quickly said "Ok I got dibs on Britney Spears." Vergil just frowned "Dante everyone has dibs on Britney Spears in more ways than one." Dante said "Ok how about Ashlee Simpson. I mean come on with a voice like that gotta be a demon." Vergil smirked and agreed and with that the Sparda boys raced each other to the bathroom to wash their hands.