Fullmetal Alchemist doesn't belong to me. It is Arakawa-sensei property, not mine.
Okay...I started this AU on Tumblr and I've finally decided to give it a try on FanFiction. Basically it is a Roleswap!AU, where the characters, as the name says, switch roles. In this case, Winry's the Fullmetal Alchemist, and this fic will begin when she did the Human Transmutation. The rest of the characters roles will be discovered as the fic advances. Important: this won't be an exact copy of the canon. Each character, though the roles have changed, will keep their canon personality. So this story is gonna differ from the canon in a lot of ways. This is my first FMA long-fic, so I hope I don't mess it up so much.
Another thing: English is not my mother language. So if you find some mistake, please message me, and I'll fix it when I can :)
Well, I hope you like it, and please leave a review! They're free :D
«Tears aren't the end of your sins,
you have to bear them painfully, forever.
Who are you waiting for in this maze of emotions
where you can't even see the exit?»
―Yui, Again.
5 years ago
Winry's hand trembled slightly as she pressed the tip of the nib she was using, injecting black tint onto white paper. An excited smile escaped from her lips.
"It's ready" she declared, grabbing the paper lightly, studying it with professional eyes, searching for mistakes. A presence next to her turned, curious, to examine the document she had in her hands. Happiness decorated his features, making his golden eyes, with a slight mist of green covering them, shine.
"Is it really ready?" he asked, a smile breaking in his lips. The blonde nodded, delighted, letting a chuckle bloom in her throat.
"I'll use it tonight to bring back mom and dad" she sighed, ecstatic, undecided if she should hug the piece of parchment with all her forces "And tomorrow I'll bring back Granny. We can eat of her stew tomorrow, Al!"
Al grinned, as cheerful as her, helping her to collect the books scattered on his father's old study. Winry tasted the afternoon sunlight that seeped through the windows, warming the wood floor and turning her blonde hair into gold. When they finished, with a few dust particles dancing in the air for the moved shelves, the girl smiled to him kindly.
"Tell Aunt Trisha that I'm really thankful to her for letting me stay in your house this afternoon" she mentioned to him, and Al laughed, as if he considered her thanks something unnecessary. The blonde grabbed the paper in her right hand a bit tighter, careful to not run the ink that was mildly fresh "And warn Ed that I'm gonna start at sunset, automail training or not!"
The boy bit his lower lip, a reluctance expression on his face while she reached the door's threshold of the study to go downstairs and get out of the house.
"Why can't you do it here?" he suggested, hopeful. Winry frowned, shaking her head.
"I've already explained to you, Al. I want my parents to be at their home when I bring them back, be the first thing they see…" Winry let a smile grace her lips, enjoying the warm feeling that spread through all her body at the prospect of the big yellow house full of life again "And besides, it's our secret, isn't it? It would be hard to keep it if Aunt Trisha is around here while I'm doing the transmutation, you know"
Al stayed in silence, and the blonde didn't turn to see his face. She went downstairs, jumping from step to step "And don't forget to come!"
The girl barely heard Al's muffled "I wouldn't miss it for anything!" while she ran out of the house. Resembool's cool autumn air invaded her nostrils, her boots hitting excited the stones on the road, the dry grass making tickles on the naked legs under her skirt. The afternoon's cloudless sky reflected on her eyes, now as clear as the summer's firmament. She let a laugh bloom in the air as she noticed that a yellow construction silhouetted against the horizon of one of the town's gentle and green hills. That night, there would be more than a lonely lamp on, more than a goodnight whisper, more than a body warming up the big house that would become a home again.
Winry's laughter increased when loud barks welcomed her, a silhouette tackling her to the ground, licking playfully her face. The paper flew out of her hand, landing gracefully on the earth.
"Den!" she exclaimed, trying to get up to ease her dog, that moved its tail contented. The girl widened her smile "I'm excited too, Den," she whispered, caressing it "tonight we won't be alone in the house! We'll have mom and dad back with us, what do you think? And Granny's coming tomorrow!"
The dog barked again while the young alchemist stood up, shaking her skirt to get rid of the few pieces of dry grass that had clung onto her clothes. She picked carefully the fragile piece of parchment that had drifted to the ground, unscathed of the canine's attack.
"C'mon Den" she smiled, guiding her to the yellow house. She let her gaze fall into the horizon, thinking with a warm knot in her stomach that the next time she'd get out of the house it wouldn't be alone.
The Elric brothers arrived promptly at the sunset, when the sun of a deep ruby stained of vermilion the sky. When they came in, a cool air stream got in the house, alerting Winry of their arrival. She smiled to them in welcome while she carried the ingredients, in various jars and pots, to the basement, looking at her sides carefully to not lose balance.
"What do you want us to do, Winry?" asked Al kindly, offering himself to take one of the bottles where there were ingredients. The blonde shrugged, letting the younger Elric grab one of the containers she carried.
"Stay up here while I do the transmutation. When I come back, I want you to give a big warm welcome to my parents!" she ordered, and the younger Elric nodded, smiling, but before he could say something, his brother interrupted him, snorting.
"You've got to be kidding me!" he growled, his eyes, like melted gold, accusing her "This is a great step in alchemy's history. Also, I think that I must remind you that it was thanks for us that you finished the transmutation circle" the boy claimed, folding his arms. Al started to chuckle nervously. Winry raised her eyebrows while the three arrived to the basement and the girl turned on the lights.
"Oh, yeah? Well, I think that I must remind you too that it is my family and it is going to be me the one that's gonna make the transmutation" she left the ingredients on the floor "So I believe that I have the right to decide who's going to be here and who's not."
"Do you have all the ingredients Winry?" asked Al benevolently, in an attempt to stop his brother and best friend's fight. The blonde's blue eyes blinked, bewildered, before she turned to him with an excited smile dancing on her lips.
"Yes" she confirmed "70 liters of water, 40 kilograms of carbon, 8 liters of ammonia, 3 kilograms of lime, 1.6 kilograms of phosphorus, 500 grams of salt, 200 grams of niter, 160 grams of sulfur, 15 grams of fluorine, 10 grams of iron and 6 grams of silicon" the blonde recited, confirming with her eyes the presence of each ingredient she was naming "The components that conform the bodies of two average human adults. Of course, I've separated them to make the transmutations individually" she sighed, making a pause and putting her hands on her hips "Well, Ed, Al, go upstairs. I'll take care of the rest"
The older Elric opened his mouth ready to talk, but before he could argue with her, Winry laughed.
"Don't worry Ed, nothing will happen. Next time I cross past that door, it will be hand in hand with my parents" she promised, pushing both upstairs "C'mon, that the constructive formula won't be drawn by itself"
"Wish you luck, Winry!" exclaimed Al smiling, though she could see some reluctance in his eyes, as if he wasn't sure if it was safe to leave her alone in the basement. Before closing the door, the blonde could've sworn that, between Ed's grunts, she saw a bright smile. When the Elric brothers were out of her sight, separated by the barrier of wood, she locked the gate. She sighed while she took a chalk and, from the paper that she had finished in her friends' house, copied the transcribed transmutation circle. The blonde repressed a shiver at the same time that she did the shapes that conformed the diagram.
She had read about the dangers of the human transmutation, and though she was willing to take the risk to repair her broken family, she didn't want the brothers to get hurt―they were the only family she had left. She got up, observing her creation, the almost perfect strokes highlighting on the grey basement's floor.
There was no room for mistakes, anyway. The trio had taken care of that when they developed their theory of human transmutation. Everything was going to be fine.
And now, she thought while she grabbed a little knife and did a small cut on her left hand's index finger, the information about the soul.
The scarlet drop rolled through her porcelain skin until it fell in the amount of ingredients in the center of the transmutation circle. The crimson shone like a crow's wing on fresh snow.
The blonde went to the edges of the circle, kneeling on the floor. An anxious smile escaped from her lips. She thought of her mother's soft smile and the warm hugs that her father always gave to her; she even missed her grandmother's severe scolding. She took a deep breath and thought of her mother. Yes, the blonde decided, her mother first.
Putting her hands above the ground, she activated the transmutation circle.
The blueish light of the energy that produced the transmutation circle, that looked as if it was electricity, bathed the room, overshadowing the lamps' golden bright. The alchemist felt that the smile that had formed her lips was going to break her face, as wide as it was. It works! she exclaimed excited in her thoughts. Her happiness grin stopped short on her face, though. Suddenly, the blue electricity transformed into a toxic purple smoke, breaking the lamps in the ceiling. The screams got stuck in her throat as she saw that the smoke dissolved, giving way to a curve line to drew itself on the transmutation circle. Terror invaded her, making her arms and legs shake.
Something was wrong. This…this wasn't supposed to happen.
Soon, the line turned into a giant eye gazing absently to the roof.
When the eye opened, long strips, as black as the night, got out of the transmutation circle, stretching, looking as if their ends, that seemed to have little fingers on them, tried to touch vaguely the basement's ceiling, without success.
Winry's piercing scream finally found its way to the now cold air when she fell to the ground, two of her limbs snatched away from her by the dancing ebony ropes.
A white space presented before her, extending itself infinitely. She blinked, disorientated, trying to balance her sight. Reminiscences of pain resonated throughout her head, vibrating in her right arm and left leg. She surprised herself when she realized that she was standing up and not kneeling on the ground. She frowned, trying to remember what had happened and where she was now.
Could it be…a rebound? The blonde thought, looking at the palms of her hands Is this…heaven?
"Yo!" exclaimed a cheerful voice. It sounded as if it was a choral of voices talking at her at unison, but at the same time it was heard as a whole. Winry lifted her head to find an entity sat on the white floor with its legs crossed, surrounded by a strange black halo, that didn't seem ethereal nor corporeal. The words were stuck in her mouth as she tried to hold back the tears that were watering her eyes. She didn't know if they were caused by fear, shock, pain or a strange combination of the three. An unusual laugh came from the presence's neutral face, a few steps ahead of her "Hey, no crying on here!"
The blonde gulped, feeling that her cheeks were blushed by a slight pink. Between the lot of questions that made echos in her mind, one escaped from her lips before the tears that she was holding "Who are you?"
The entity raised its arms up, its smirk almost twisting in one of a happy child of her age.
"Oh my, it's very nice of you to ask! I'm an existence that you folks like to call world. Sometimes, universe. Sometimes, God. Sometimes, Truth. Sometimes, All. Sometimes, One" it answered her, its voice adopting a solemn ring as it advanced on its explanation "Finally, I am...you"
Winry had an odd feeling at the last sentence pronounced by the being while the panic in her body increased at alarming levels. She stepped back, trembling, before she noticed a great and majestic sound, almost regal, crossing the space where she was. She turned to see the last details of two giant gates opening to discover what they had inside, a portion of her brain questioning why and how she hadn't seen them before. Her breathing started to turn erratic and without control, her hands sweaty and the heart beating furiously against her chest. She suddenly had the instinct to run, run far away from the doors.
When she blinked, her muscles tensing to bolt in any moment, she was face to face with a big eye, in its iris dancing many grey concentric circumferences. Winry felt the imperious need to scream when she saw that numerous strips, similar to the ones that had been summoned from the transmutation circle, twined around her body, grabbing her, and lifting her from the ground. She started to fight against them, moving her arms and legs violently, without noticing that she had started to scream, shutting her eyes tightly. Warm tears rolled on her cheeks, product of the pain that the ropes made trying to hold her still and the pure terror that invaded her.
It took a second to Winry to know that all of her efforts were meaningless while the gates closed slowly, leaving the white and shiny room behind.
"So noisy...wasn't this what you wanted?" she heard the presence sigh above her screams. A brief pause followed its words, and, with a stern face and even a little bit resigned one, it said: "I'll show you the Truth, Ms. I'm-an-idiot-who-acts-all-high-and-mighty"
With that, the doors closed completely, locking themselves quickly with a thud. Winry felt herself fall into an abyss black and eternal, the air passing in a high speed next to her ears making a whistle. Her shrieking didn't cease, though now the drops of water coming from her eyes floated, losing themselves in the endless darkness. Suddenly, a white blaze caught her attention, obliging her to open her blue eyes. Between the adrenaline that passed through her body, her mind could recognize pictures and information in the large strips that were starting to surround her, with an ambiguous white shine, before realizing that it was being injected in her brain at high speeds.
Her howls increased as she tried to close her eyes again. She could see everything as if she had them open, though: faces of people she knew and didn't know, their features as diverse as the flowers on Resembool's meadows; places so far away from her that they could be at the other side of the world and alchemy's techniques as old as time itself; all kind of information was being thrown into her brain, that didn't have time to process it before 10 images more arrived. Her body's temperature elevated while more information was put at her will.
But Winry didn't want information. Her head hurt, as if it was going to crack open at any moment. She opened her eyes.
The only thing she had wanted was a home again.
Soon her surroundings were full of so much knowledge that they turned white, as pure as the chamber that she had been previously. The presence that had spoken to her before appeared on a little hole in her head, still virgin and unscathed from the information bomb. And the blonde knew it with a hesitant realization. This...this was the Truth.
The whistle heightened in her ears when besides the head her whole body started to hurt with a power that she had never felt before; the girl wasn't even sure that it was pain. It had spread from her left foot, rising through her leg with agonizing parsimony. Winry dared to look down with certain difficulty before she encountered with a white empty space and traces of skin extinguishing themselves in infinity.
"No!" she said between her shouts, surprised to find her throat sore "Stop it! Please! Stop!"
Even when a silhouette started to form on the horizon the blonde didn't stop to beg for her body to stop being disassembled to end with the pain, if it could be called like that. It was when she felt warm, the smell of grass and forgotten kisses on the forehead, that she noticed the figure that remarked itself against the immaculate tunnel's end. With the forces that were left on her she extended her arm, the tears filling her blue eyes again. She knew she'd help her. If only she could reach her...
"M...mom..." the young alchemist whined, feeling that in any moment she'd graze warm fingers made by the same porcelain as hers. The pain had taken all over her body, and it was just a matter of time for her to lose conscience, to lose herself between all those faces that conformed the long, long line that was time and space. But the palm of the woman's hand was so close to hers...Winry could almost see a pair of eyes, as blue as two forget-me-nots, so identical to hers...a breeze that she didn't feel waved her mother's blonde, curly hair...she even could see a soft smile decorate her delicate features...but the young alchemist couldn't stop crying, because the pain was overwhelming...
Suddenly, she found herself being supported by both of her legs, with the arm outstretched on the empty air. Winry faltered, her knees giving in the shock and the pain. The girl pulled her forehead close to her knees shrinking herself onto the floor. Slowly, the palms of her hands approached her face hidden in the shadows.
She had been so close. But at the same time she hadn't: she hadn't even barely touched the woman's fingers. Her theory of the human transmutation, along with Ed and Al's knowledge, had been correct. Something was missing, though...
"How was it?" asked curiously the voice that received her previously. The blonde got up violently, tears running through her cheeks again: she wouldn't be surprised if she looked to a mirror and saw herself with her face and eyes red. The deity, as the person inside the gates, had none expression on its face. The words, obstructed on her throat, couldn't be expelled of her mouth while she sobbed, an occasional howl escaping from her "I suppose it was worth the toll you paid for"
"Toll...?" she inquired with a husky voice, forcing herself to hold her cries. Winry almost had the impression that Truth was smiling wickedly behind his mask of white and black.
"Equivalent exchange, isn't it? Two limbs for each person that you had the intention of bringing back tonight" it mentioned "Al-che-mist" it emphasized, bringing out each syllable. A mild ache bubbled in her left leg and right arm, making hard to Winry the task of focusing on what Truth was saying. When he ended, with a blast of agony, the blonde realized that she was looking only at her left palm, and she was stumbling, lacking the balance that both of her legs gave her...
Blinking in the gloom, she found herself lying on the ground, unable to get up. Pain traveled through every fiber of her body, making even her breathing a tortuous task. Above the high whistle on her ears and the general bewilderment, she could hear muffled hits and shouts. She felt vaguely the fragrance of blood and the smell of something mildly rotten. Her mind was clouded, incapable to process all the damage done to her mutilated body. Her eyes, empty and unfocused, moved around the room where she was, recognizing it as the basement. A shadow remarked itself against the darkness, moving awkwardly, outstretching an arm to her.
"H...help..." Winry begged with a broken voice and the throat stiff. A portion of her brain was surprised to realize that her cheeks were dry and her voice didn't sound stuffy. A cloud of smoke drifted lazily in the cold air from the body that moved without any control, hidden in the shadows. When her vision cleared enough to detail the silhouette mildly, her eyes widened, swimming in pure horror. She started to hyperventilate. "Some...one...please..." she moaned "this...this wasn't...what I wanted...please..."
As if somebody was listening to her pleadings, the muffled screams and hits increased, being heard each time clearer. It even seemed that, in the bunch of words that the mouths away from her were throwing brutally into the air, there was her name. Her head hurt, her whole body vibrated with pain, and the creature on the corner of the room slipped pathetically over the floor, leaving a trace of blood behind. Suddenly, an explosion boomed in the basement, the door that connected with the rest of the house out of its hinges. Numerous and hurried steps resounded, entering into the room, bringing a river of light with them.
Winry let herself fall into the seas of unconsciousness while the Elric brothers screamed her name, their boots becoming dirty with her blood.
When Winry woke up and saw a white and immaculate ceiling, she thought she was in front of the Gate of Truth again.
She got up abruptly, breathing laboriously. Ropes restrained her, and Winry had the disastrous impression that they were the same black strips that had obliged her to see the terrible Truth. A scream started to form in her throat while she tried to fight against the chains that tied her, disoriented and dizzy, when a sharp pain passed through her body like a bolt, making her stop short.
She forced herself to calm down and hold steady while her blurry sight cleared, getting used to her surroundings and the amount of light. The blonde breathed deeply, feeling a vague distress on the ribs. She analyzed the room where she was quickly, forbidding herself to lose control, when the young alchemist noticed that she wasn't in front of the Gate of Truth. Her body relaxed, relieved.
She was laying on a comfortable bed that was ambiguously familiar, and the ropes that restrained her were no more than gently bandages and IV cables, the last ones preventing her from leaving the bed. She half-leaned back onto her pillow, half-rested against the wall of the room.
Winry breathed deeply again, blinking diverse times to drive off the dizziness that plagued her. She frowned while she recovered a bit of balance past some minutes.
Something was wrong. Her scowl deepened.
Slowly, like the water flowing lazily in the river on summer, the memories of last night came back to her mind. The transmutation circle, the vague fragrance of blood and putrefaction, Ed and Al's screams...
The pain...the equivalent exchange...
Fearful, she lowered her gaze to her legs, covered by a thick blanket that didn't allow her to see the outlines of her legs. With her arm, she made a gesture to remove the layer.
The blanket didn't move and her right arm didn't appear into view. Did she have it sedated? Perhaps that was the reason why she didn't feel it. Biting her lower lip to focus better, she lifted her arm to remove the carpet. Nothing happened, though.
It was then when she felt the ghostly pain, the cruel tickles that emanated from the empty space that followed her shoulder.
The image of a figure in the gloom, silhouetting against the dark and moving awkwardly through the shadows showed in front of her eyes. Winry gasped, widening her eyes in desperation, uncovering immediately her legs with the left arm, her body complaining with a wave of pain. Only her right limb welcomed her, a big, unfilled space next to it. The young alchemist turned to her right shoulder, that followed into emptiness.
No...
She'd done it. She'd done the Human Transmutation...just to fail miserably and create something that wasn't even human, that slipped between pools of blood stupidly and was unsuccessful even at breathing.
«Two limbs for each person you had the intention of bringing back tonight, alchemist»
Pure dread washed her while she thought of the silhouette that she'd seen before inside the Gates, the one that almost scratched her fingers. The one that, with an emotionless face, in her imagination had gifted her a gentle smile. It could be possible that...that was...her mother's soul?
And she...she had transformed her into that...
«This wasn't what I wanted»
She started to cry, the warm and salted tears rolling through her round and childish cheeks, her left hand grasping the bandages that wrapped what was left of her leg. The girl lowered her face, letting her bangs caress her eyelids in comfort, and the blonde hair that fell freely across her back stuck more to her thin and little figure. The image of the thing that she had created formed again in her eyeballs, making her to shut her eyes tightly, to escape of the accusing and miserable gaze of the being that had dragged itself over her basement's floor.
A loud sound startled her, interrupting her cries. It took her a moment to recognize that it was the sound of a door opening. She opened her eyes with fear, meeting with Trisha Elric's kind figure, her generally perfect auburn hair disheveled and tied on a messy bun. A smile formed on her graceful lips, reaching her benevolent green eyes, clouded with astonishment when she entered to the room.
"Winry...you're awake..." she sighed with what seemed relief in her voice. The woman approached carefully, and the young blonde could saw a glimpse of what seemed to be golden eyes before the door closed completely. Trisha's features saddened when she noticed that the blanket that covered her legs was hanging forgotten next to her. "Winry..."
"I'm sorry" the alchemist interrupted her weakly, lowering her gaze, clenching the only fist that she'd left while she felt that the tears populated again her eyes, falling like crystalline streams through her cheeks. Her voice was husky and stuffy, making a hard task to make out what she was saying "I'm so sorry" she sobbed, the force of her weeps shaking her whole body, producing pain. Winry didn't know if she was apologizing to Trisha, to the Elric brothers, to the creature that she had created, to her parents or to herself.
Edward had always said that she was a crybaby. Perhaps he had been right all the time, because in the course of two days, Winry'd cried more than she could imagine.
But she was really sorry.