Title: His Aching Heart
Summary: Nico felt as if he was re-enacting the tale of Icarus; unaware as Will plummeted towards the sea.
Rating: T
Warning: Angst, implied sexual intercourse, light course language, etc.
Word count:
Disclaimer: I don't own The Heroes of Olympus or any associated characters, they belong to Rick Riordan. This is a pure work of fiction I thought of whilst sick one day.
Oh! And Alex belongs to TailsDoll13, who is writing an amazing fic called 'How Not to Get Your OTP Together' which is awesome and ya'll should check it out! (Hope this is okay, Taylor, you did say I could use your OCS?)
Nico hadn't known. If he had, he would have stopped the events of that night from happening. But as it was, he had been in the Underworld at the request of his father, and he hadn't known.
He couldn't even blame others for not telling him- warning him. After all, he had Shadow-travelled straight into his cabin, where he knew Will would be waiting, where Will always waited for Nico to return back to camp. And Will had smiled at him, a sunny smile with warm, gentle eyes that held nothing but adoration as he casually tossed his mp3 player with his most recent audiobook playing to the side.
He hadn't known. Nico hadn't known. There was nothing in Will's body language that suggested anything was wrong as Nico embraced him. There was nothing in his eyes as they fluttered closed that said he was hurting. Nico hadn't known, even when their lips met with slow reverence and Will's stomach quivered beneath Nico's fingertips, even when Will pressed a kiss to the hollow of Nico's sweat dampened skin and murmured his love, even when his hands twisted and his fingers tangled in Nico's hair while Nico told him without words how much he missed him- he hadn't known.
How he wished he had known.
No one in camp had spoken about it the day Nico announced his return, but Nico could feel the heavy tension in the air. He wondered what had happened, what he didn't know, all day he wondered. Will wasn't with him- he had smiled lightly and said he was helping the Demeter cabin with the strawberry fields ("With the bad weather we're having, they need me to bend some light onto the plants for a few hours") and Nico simply hadn't a clue what was happening.
That was, until the evening. He recognised what the solemn faces meant as they were led to the amphitheatre, the stiffness in everyone's movements- his stomach lurched at the tear-stricken children of Apollo and what it meant, what he knew it had to mean. And how was Will able to hide it?
Nico stood grimly and watched as the small, pale gold burial shroud lit up furious amber, his eyes flickering along the children of Apollo and not seeing the face he was searching for.
"Where's Will?" He asked Alex, a child of Apollo who was currently not crying, but looking like zhe had been. Zhe shook zher head, shoulders shaking slightly and Nico took that to mean she didn't know, but also didn't want to talk and risk crying again.
"Nico?" A shaky voice said from behind him. He turned and saw the familiar face of Lou Ellen, daughter of Hecate, whose face was uncommonly pale and blotchy from her own tears. Beside her stood Miranda Gardiner, daughter of Demeter, who was holding her hand tightly and slowly rubbing her thumb over Lou's knuckles. "Will's in the strawberry fields still."
Nico must have had a strange look on his face, because Miranda began speaking shyly. "He wouldn't respond when anyone tried to get him to move, not even when the sun went down and he wouldn't be able to help anymore. He's just sitting out there."
Nico gave them both grateful looks, wordlessly thanking them before blending into the shadows and travelling towards the fields. When there, it wasn't hard to find Will- he had a tiny ball of sunshine trembling in his hands, desperately trying to remain in the world despite its main source having escaped the sky for now.
Nico knelt down next to Will, watching as his boyfriend kept his eyes determinedly on the light and not even glancing in Nico's direction, despite obviously having sensed him, judging from the tension in his shoulders and neck.
"Will…" And Nico found he didn't know what to say, despite having gone through the same thing.
Will's hands clenched and unclenched and he looked up at Nico and smiled, his gentle, sweet smile that usually made Nico happy but now terrified him slightly because, was Will really happy when he smiled like this, or was he always covering up the pain?
"I'm okay," He said. Nico felt his expression fall and he shook his head. Will's smile faltered and his eyes darkened. "Nico…"
Nico reached out and pulled Will towards him for a hug, wishing the words he was thinking would come out his mouth.
I know what you're going through and I'm so sorry, because it's difficult and I know you think you have to be strong, but you don't because you can't be strong all the time. Losing a sibling… is the worst feeling in the world. I'm sorry, Will. I'm sorry.
"… He was the third brother I couldn't save," Will said, and there was no warmth in his voice, just a hollowness that was achingly familiar and made Nico remember days spent in a metaphorical and literal maze, wishing just to have been able to save that person you love.
"I lost…" Will shuddered, his body raking and his breath ghosting over Nico's neck. "I lost Lee, and I lost Michael, and now I've lost…" He buried his face in Nico's shoulder and shuddered again, and held Nico tightly. "I was meant to save him, but I couldn't, a-and now… now I don't know what to do…!"
So they sat in the strawberry fields, the faint smell of smoke tinging the air and the tears of mourning campers splattering the earth as they grieved for the loss of the Apollo cabin. And in the morning, the sun wouldn't rise until hours after it is supposed to, and the camp would be silent, and Will would smile again as if nothing was wrong, and Nico will pretend that he hadn't seen this weak version of Will that couldn't save his brother, because that is what Will would want him to do, and Nico would do anything for Will. But the next time something happened, Nico would be ready for Will's warm smile that concealed his aching heart.
For some reason in that moment, Will reminded Nico of Icarus, the man who flew too close to the sun and plummeted towards the sea. Will tried his hardest to save all his patients, and when he couldn't, he fell, agonisingly slow. And Nico felt like Daedalus, unaware until too late that his loved one had fallen.
