This is a femShep and Ashley romance fan fic. I'm starting it in Mass effect 2 at the Horizon mission and taking it to the end of mass effect 3 where there will be a different ending unless Bioware fixes the original. I've added in extra dialogue but the story will follow mass effect 2 mostly only occasionally adding in action and all of the dlc's will be included.
Please Review..Its my first story so I would like any help
I don't own anything its all biowares stuff.
"Till the End"
I am liking Cerberus right now it is oddly satisfying to squish husks; I now understand why Jack is always happy in a fight. Although in general I still despise the whole terrorist's organization even though they still brought me back to life with a couple upgrades, as in the biotic ability to slam, so I can finish the fight against the Reapers. The fight started with the Reapers working through Saren and now they are working with the Collectors that are attacking human colonies. That will not fly while I am still alive and kicking so I am here on Horizon trying to prevent the assholes from taking the humans from this colony and to find someone I have been missing since I was resurrected.
Kasumi, Garrus, and I make our way through the colony taking out Collectors along with this Reaper named Harbinger that keeps possessing the Collectors and causing way too much fucking trouble. We see the colonists in stasis as we move through the colony which only makes us push faster not that I needed anymore motivation to get to the woman I love before they take her. After awhile we run into a chicken shit named Wilson who informs us where some defence turrets are that we could use against the Collector ship. We left him in the warehouse where he then locked himself in like the pansy ass he is.
After we make it to the turret controls we link in EDI, the Normandy AI so she can calibrate the targeting system. It kindly informed us to defend the controls from the oncoming reaper waves. Garrus pulls out his sniper and finds high ground to cover Kasumi and I while Kasumi cloaks so she can flank the enemy. I get the fun part of drawing all the attention. I pull out my M-12 Locust and prep the combat drone Tali prepared for me when we were on the SR-1 and wait.
Each wave had a variation of collectors, husks and the ass Harbinger. Garrus was taking them out from a distance while Kasumi confused the hell out of them by disappearing and reappearing and I got to slam and incinerate the shit out of them. It was going well until a giant screeching scion and a shit ton of husks came out of nowhere.
"Oh fuck" is all I could say.
"I second that" comments Kasumi.
"Kasumi go after the husks use your cloaking to confuse them, Garrus use your rifle to weaken the scion while I finish it with "Big Boy"" I order with a smirk. Big Boy just so happens to be my missile launcher.
We broke up and did our jobs. I was helping Kasumi by slamming a few husks around and helping Garrus by using incinerate to burn away the scion's barriers while getting a few shots with my missile launcher. Finally, the husks were gone and we just focused on the Scion.
"Let's bring this fucker down, cover me"
I set up on some high ground and unleash hell on its ass. It explodes after I get 5 clean shots at it.
"The Collector ship is pulling out" says Garrus. We all turn and look, I know we did not save everybody but at least we saved some. I hear footsteps behind me and notice Wilson.
"You have to go get them! They have Lilith and Sten! What kind of soldier are you?"
"I'm the kind of soldier that just saved half this colony you ass"
"She's Commander Shepard, first human Spectre, Savoir of the Citadel. You are in the presence of a god Wilson. A soldier back from the dead"
That voice. I didn't even hear what Wilson or Garrus were talking about I was just focused on that voice, her voice. I turn around and there she stands just as beautiful as I remember. Ashley Williams the love of my life. She's wearing the pink armor I bought her during the mission against Saren, her brown hair is in a tight bun as usual and she is looking at me with her strikingly gorgeous brown eyes. I am speechless. She is the only lover who as ever been able to do that. Being a woman of action instead of talking I close the 3 foot gap in between us and kiss her with everything I have.
I hear Kasumi's confused comments and Garrus is chuckling in the background but all I'm focused on is the woman I love. I've missed the feel, the taste, and how perfect her lips are on mine. I have one hand on her hip and the other behind her neck trying to get as close as possible. She does the same to me by reflex and just to make sure I'm actually real and there. I lick her bottom lip seeking entrance and she allows it. It feels like it has not been two years since we kissed. We still know the others mouth, tongue, and lips like it was yesterday we last kissed not 2 years ago. It was over to fast I feel her push me back away from her.
"Ash..." I am so confused…that was the best kiss we've ever had.
"You can't just come back after 2 years and expect it all to be the same, Amy!" she is almost screaming at me.
"Ash I was dead. Cerberus rebuilt me for 2 yrs and brought me back to life to stop the Repears and save our colonists," I say in a pleading voice I want to go to her again but her body is telling me I'll get punched in the face if I do.
"So it's true? You're with Cerberus even after what we saw them do and they killed General Kahoku? You to Garrus?"
"Ash the Reapers are using the Collectors to go after humans. They are the enemy not Cerberus. Plus I'm not with Cerberus I'm with Shepard." Replies Garrus. While I'm still standing still like a damn punching bag shocked she thinks I'd join Cerberus, but I understand her feelings at the same time.
"I expected better for both of you" Ash says angrily she then turns to me "I expected better from the woman I loved"
That knocked me on my ass. She said loved instead of love.
"Kasumi, Garrus head back to the shuttle. I need to talk to Ashley alone"
"Shep…you sure?" Kasumi asks as she puts a hand on my shoulder.
I turn to her giving her a reassuring smile "Yes I'm sure and please don't spy on us. I will explain everything when I get back. Garrus make sure she's on that shuttle carry her if you have too"
He nods and laughs while Kasumi glares at me. Giving myself a second to compose myself before I turn to convince the love of my life that I am still me and that I am hers.
When I turn around I'm not the badass N7 marine, the savior of the Citadel or the Butcher of Torfan. I'm Amy Shepard the 5'8 blonde haired, blue eyed woman that no one has ever seen since Mindor except for Ashley Williams. I can tell she sees the change her face softens but she's still pissed and confused. I walk towards her and take her hands in mine grateful she doesn't pull away so I can try to explain everything to her.
"Yes, Cerberus brought me back to life. Yes, Cerberus gave me a new Normandy. Yes, they are giving me a shit ton of resources and intel. However, No I'm not with them. I'm not off killing aliens because they don't like humans or protecting facilities they use for their crazy ass experiments. I'm using them to save our colonies and stop the Reapers. Once I've beaten the Collectors I'm finding the Illusive Man and killing him myself"
The whole time I'm staring directly in her eye's but I can tell she still doesn't believe me.
"What if they did something to your brain, Skipper," she asks.
"You think someone with a Cerberus controlled brain would be able to kiss you like I just did" I reply with my smile meant only for her.
She looks down and I could tell she's blushing and smiling but when she looks up I can tell looking into her eyes she's not only angry and confused but also hurt.
"Why didn't you try to contact me? Instead I'm hearing it from everyone else and everyone is saying you're with Cerberus which is still what it looks like." She asks in barely I whisper.
"I tried to find you Ash" I lift her chin so I can look her in the eye "I asked Anderson and all he said was it was Top Secret he couldn't tell me. I even asked Kasumi to try to find you and she couldn't and that's what she does. It was killing me not being able to find you Ash" I look directly into her eyes and I hope she sees that I am being sincere, but if she doesn't after that I have one more card to play to prove to her how I feel and that I'm me.
"Ash I need to tell you something I was going to tell you the day I…" I could not bring myself to say "died" so I didn't. "Neither of us is good with words so we use other people's to help us out
Till the seas turn to tears of sorrow,
Till the moon wearies of its daily voyage,
Till the last star abandons a forlorn sky,
Till then shall I love thee,
Till then shall I live in joy.
I love you Ashley and always will. Please come with me I need you by my side"
Well there it was my heart and soul laid before her hoping she would do the same with me but the fact she pulled away from me and the look in her eye told me a different story.
"Amy I can't it's been 2 years Alliance is in my blood I can't work for your terrorist organization...I've moved on" The last part she whispered I could barely hear it. I feel like I've been hit by a goddamn truck. "My terrorist organization" she doesn't believe me and doesn't love me anymore. I'm not angry with her I kind of expected this but it doesn't change the fact that I still hurt and that I still love her.
I am a woman of action so I put a hand behind her head and give her a tender kiss on her forehead and say, "Okay, I understand but I need you to know Ash I will always love you"
As I turn and walk away I'm sure I can hear her crying and that tears me up inside.
Normandy SR-2
Dumbass fucking Illusive man always wanting to talk. That's the first thing I hear when I get back onboard from EDI that just tops my already fabulous day. EDI is our resident AI. I was a little worried before because of my history with the Geth but it seems to be fine and it annoys Joker enough so I don't have to anymore. Joker is the best pilot I have ever worked with (I won't ever tell him that though) but he is also the biggest smartass of all time.
He turns in his chair to make a comment but he knows my "don't fucking bother me look" and shuts his mouth.
"Joker set a course for Illium and don't say a word"
"Aye Aye, ma'am"
Making my way to the communications room, I don't talk to anyone and everyone can tell to not talk to me unless they want to get hit in the face. I have to walk through the tech lab to get to the comm. room and that's where my favourite salarian Mordin has taken up residence. He and I spent a whole week competing to see who could disable the most Cerberus cameras and listen devises. He won by a land slide and every since then I always stop by and we talk over tech and engineering stuff. It's refreshing to talk to someone who likes and know stuff like that as much as I do. Today though is not the day for our usual routine.
"Ahh Shepard, what would you like to discuss today?Shield mods? Omnitool upgrades?" he asks. It took me days to follow how fast he talks. He's like a hamster on coffee fast.
"Nothing today, my friend. I have to talk to the Illusive Man then I am retiring to my cabin. It has been a trying day."
"Okay, I'll be here if you need me."
After I enter the comm. room the image of the Illusive Man comes up. He reminds me of a CEO of a company because of his attitude and outfit. He smokes all the time I wonder how many packs he smokes a day.
"Shepard, you did well on Horizon"
"Not well enough they still got half the colony"
"It's better than what anyone else has done so it was a success. I see in the report from Miranda that Ashley Williams was there. I hope you have you past figured out and it won't affect the mission?"
"That is not your fucking concern" I reply. I'm going to need to have a discussion with Miranda about what she puts in her reports.
"It is if it affects the mission but a trust you can figure it out. You need to recruit more team members. I've sent you more dossiers to look over. Make sure the rest of your team is motivated to go through the relay"
"I'll do whatever it takes to be ready to take down the collectors and bringing everyone back. I don't need orders for you, asshole. Joker end this call"
Now I am super pissed off because the ass gave me orders and I'm in no mood to talk to anyone at all. I need to be alone with my bottle of vodka and deal with the fact the woman I love does not love me anymore and how I will never love anyone again. No one could compare to Ashley Williams. Unfortunately, my wallowing will have to wait because waiting for me outside the comm. room is a worried looking Jacob. Jacob is a Cerberus operative but doesn't like Cerberus nearly as much as Miranda does. He's also ex-Alliance and has an obsession with guns like I do, so we get along well enough.
"Shepard, after seeing what happened on Horizon the crew is starting to realize how this might really be a suicide mission"
"We will make it back through the relay Jacob. We all will" I tell him to not only to reassure him but also myself.
"I know you will try to make that happen but its got people thinking. Some of the crew want to finish any unfinished business they have"
"I understand Jacob. I'm going to address the crew in a couple minutes and I will bring that up. Thank you for telling me. I want everyone as ready as possible to go through that relay"
"Thank you, Shepard" he says as he salutes and returns to the armoury.
I make my way back to the CIC to address the crew. Although I'm hurt and angry and just want to break down I never let my crew see it. I need to be strong, their leader, and leaders don't let personal feeling get in the way of duty. I slipped into that mode talking to Jacob and now I have to keep the facade to address the crew because its my duty. Sometimes I hate duty and this is one of those times but I have to do it.
My yeoman Kelly Chambers is an interesting character. She's like my secretary and she also is the ship counsellor. She also loves to flirt with me all the damn time. I can't tell her anything about Ashley because I don't trust her and if the Alliance found out we were in a relationship then Ashley's military career would be over. The only people that know about the relationship is Tali, Wrex, Garrus, Liara, Chakwas, and Joker all members of the SR-1 crew who I trust with my life. As for as anyone one else they just thought we were just best friends. She can't seem to grasp the fact that I'm not interested, at all some counsellor she is. I am not in the mood for that bullshit right now so I give her a look that says "don't talk to me" as I walk past her to the galaxy map.
"EDI give me ship wide communication please."
"Comm's open Shepard."
"Thank you EDI. Good work with the mission on Horizon. We couldn't save all of the colonists but we saved most of them. I know seeing what happened really hits home as to how crucial this mission is and it makes you think what is important to you. If anyone needs to do something or see anyone to put their minds at ease send me a message and I will try my damndest to get it done. We are heading towards Illium now we will be there in a couple hours. Once we arrive everyone has shore leave for a day when we arrive. Ground team make sure you have your comms and weapons on shore leave. If anyone gives you shit tell em badass Spectre Shepard gave you permission wonder around packing." I can hear the crew around me chuckle, which was the point. "We will be resupplying, picking up more crew members, and doing whatever else we can on Illium. Shepard out"
"Shepard, Miranda would like to see her in her office" EDI informs me.
"EDI, tell her I'll meet with her when shore leave is over."
"Will do, Shepard"
"Also make sure no one disturbs me in my cabin until shore leave is over. No one EDI or I will reprogram your ass."
"Understood"
I enter the elevator and wonder what the hell is so important Miranda needs to see me right now. It was probably because she doesn't think shore leave is necessary, spoilsport.
Captain's Cabin
I love fish. I've sat and just watched the fish swim around in the tank for hours envying how they don't have to worry about shit.
"That must be nice" I say out loud to no one except for maybe my space hamster, Bolt.
I strip out of my armour so I can take a shower in my private bathroom. One more reason to like Cerberus. I'm hoping the hot water would ease my pain physically and emotionally but I was wrong. Damn it.
I change into workout shorts, sports bra, and tank top and head to find my bottle of vodka in the fridge. This was part of my nightly routine. Since I've been rebuilt I won't sleep if I don't take something or drink. It's the damn Prothean beacons visions and my past always keeps me awake at night. I relive all the visions from the beacons, my friends and family being killed by batarians, me killing defenceless batarians out of revenge on Torfan, and Ashley hurt or dying. When Ashley and I were together, she was my personal dream catcher. When we slept together, I felt safe, loved and protected. I only had a couple nightmares when she was with me and even if I did she always calmed me down and I would always fall back asleep with her holding me. She's the only one that has ever held me. In all my relationships I'm always the strong one but she made me feel safe enough to be weak.
The other part of my nightly routine involves my voice journal. On the first Normandy when Ash moved into my cabin we would always talk about the missions and other things. So, ever since I was rebuilt and no one would tell me where in the hell Ashley was I decided to record my journal like I was talking to her just like we used to.
After I grab a glass from the lounge area of my cabin I go up the stairs to the office part of my cabin where my model ships are on display and my terminal is set up. There is also a picture of Ash on my desk. After I found Garrus on Omega he gave it to me as a gift for saving his ass from all those merc groups trying to kill him. He's like my turian big brother just like Wrex is my krogan big brother. I pour myself a shot, start the recording and look at the picture so it's like I'm talking to her.
"Well today didn't go exactly as I suspected, Ash. The fight through collectors and husk was expected but the reunion with you, not so much. Another unexpected thing was a Reaper named Harbinger kept possessing some of the Collectors. That was fucked up, I can't explain that one to you but Mordin is looking into it. When I was told you were on Horizon all I thought about was I need to get to you faster not to save you because we both know you can handle yourself just fine but I needed to see you again. I've fucking missed you. I can't sleep without you I have all these damn nightmares or I have dreams about you dying or being hurt because I'm not there to watch your back. I was hoping you would come with me but at the same time I knew you wouldn't. You're an Alliance marine it's in your blood like you have told me multiple times and even being aligned with Cerberus is treason in your eyes. I'm not with Cerberus. I'm using Cerberus I'm blowing them all to hell when I'm done with Collectors and I want you with me when I take down Cerberus. I wish you were here I don't trust anyone from Cerberus expect for Jacob. I trust Garrus because he's like the big brother I never had. I trust Jack because she hates Cerberus as much as we do and she's badass. I trust Zaeed because he's getting paid and mercs always follow the money. I trust Mordin because with his tech skills he could destroy this ship and he hasn't yet (lol). I trust Kasumi because she reminds me of my little sister from Mindor and shes saved my ass multiple times. I trust Grunt because I'm his battlemaster and I know from Wrex what that means. I need you Ashley. There's no Shepard without her Williams. We're going to Illium tomorrow to pick up a justicar and an assassin to join up so that should be fun. I'll also get to see Liara. I'll talk to you tomorrow I love you Ash.
Till the seas turn to tears of sorrow,
Till the moon wearies of its daily voyage,
Till the last star abandons a forlorn sky,
Till then shall I love thee,
Till then shall I live in joy."
I always finish each entry with that poem. Ash loves poetry and when I read it, I felt like it described how I feel about her perfectly. Who would've thought that the badass Commander Shepard could turn sentimental.
I didn't realize how much vodka I drank until I looked at the bottle after I put Ashley's picture down. Half of it is gone so I should be sleeping awesomely tonight. I turn off my terminal, put the vodka in the fridge then go to bed. I close my eyes hoping I have good dreams of Ashley.