Sometimes she'd imagine herself flying. Or at least it felt like that.
Closing her eyes, Chihiro's mind would take off to the most extraordinary places. Places she didn't even knew existed. Just like that time in the spirit world. She'd meet so many people in such short amounts of time. And no matter how long after she saw them again, she would always remember them. Always.
Sometimes it felt like she was underwater.
Chihiro's vision clouded along with all of her other senses. But she never had to breathe. She didn't have to. The tide would take her far away from her troubles and home to places unknown, down into the depths of the deepest and unexplored trenches. She never had any fear, though. When even the slightest sense of danger dangled, it, or she, would be far from it in a heart beat. She never had to worry.
Sometimes it felt like she were falling.
This was the most terrifying thing for Chihiro. It wasn't a huge deal, but there she would be, falling. Falling endlessly, plummeting not to the ground but into the sky itself. Far from civilization till everything was just a small speck in green and blue. And when she began to slow down was when she felt safe again and new in a matter of moments she would be back home, feet planted safely on the ground again.
Sometimes it felt as though the world was black.
Chihiro pondered those moments when she fell asleep and found herself in the dark, wandering with only a lamp to guide her. She never find the way out. Then again, she never did. But being isolated in such a dark place didn't unnerve her. It was as though she retreated into the depths of her mind when she wasn't flying or underwater. Chihiro would always wander when she was anywhere but. It confused her though as to why she always felt as though she had been waiting for someone. Who? She had no clue. But it was those times she took the time to reflect on all the moments she thought she was alone when really, maybe she wasn't?
Sometimes she napped on the beach of an isolated island.
With the sun on her skin and the water kissing her feet, there was no where else she wanted to be. This was probably Chihiro's favorite dream because it felt more real than all the others. The sand cradled her like a baby and the water felt like a mother's touch, stroking her infant in only a way a mother could. It was bliss.
And sometimes if she listened closely, she could hear humming.
Chihiro could hear it the loudest when she was on the beach. She never heard it when she was in the dark, but she could hear it all the other times, faintly when she was falling, though.
Sometimes if she listened closely, it was the song her mother had sung to her.
She'd never forget the lullaby her mother had sung to her so many times when she was a baby. She could never figure out who it was that was humming, because whenever she looked, the humming never got louder or quieter.
It was always there. Just like when she is flying, she'd always be holding on to something, not just her flying solo. And when she was underwater, it wasn't a tide that allowed her to travel but a long white line that was smooth to touch.
And when she were falling, she never had to worry because someone was always there to catch her and place her where she belongs. When it was black, she knew she was, then, utterly alone.
But she never felt afraid, she realized, because it wouldn't take too long before she was accompanied once more. And the beach...the beach...Chihiro realized then that the humming never ceased because the voice was always behind her the whole time.
She recalled the fabric tickling her skin that wasn't her. The soft touch of guiding hands leading her through the island, water, and air. The chuckle she'd hear when she had done something amusing or childish. Something so typical of her.
It was then that she realized she never really was alone. Because if she ever needed someone to cling to and to take her away from her pain and troubles, he was always there for her. Maybe not in person, but he always was. He'd take her away to distract her from the hurt she went through. He took her away to all those magnificent places that she never knew existed and meet so many new people that she'd learn to call "friends." He was never too far from her, and when he was, he'd always be back. Always.
Chihiro awoke from her dream at the beach, feeling the tingle from the heat of the sun still on her skin and the itchiness from the sunburn she was sure she had. She slipped out of bed and walked to her window and opened it. There was no breeze present, but it was okay. The sun was shining and she smiled that she finally figured it out. After all these years. A breeze stroked her cheek lovingly and brushed her hair back from her sleep face as Chihiro closed her eyes, her smile melting into her face permanently as words sighed off her lips and dropped off her tongue with ease:
"Haku."