Nadeshiko Flower
Comments are always welcomed at smilie_smilie@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the general Card Captor Sakura story. It's the property of Clamp. This story is written as a past time. No copyright infringement intended.
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The marshmallow white clouds lined the light blue sky as a slight breeze blew by the pink cherry blossom trees spreading their peddles in all different directions. The wind was a sign of the oncoming cold unforgiving winter but for now, the temperature was perfect and the air was crisp. This town was like any other suburban area lined with small individual houses bordered with white picket fences. Neighbours greeted each other good morning and good day as each of them headed to their individual path to work. Children crowded together and walked in pairs and trios to school. This was Tomoeda, and it was like every other town.
Then again, every town had their own unique qualities. Tomoeda was famous for the flowers they breed. Sakura trees lined the roads and Nadeshiko was the symbol of the city. There was also something else that attracted certain types of people to this city: magic. There was once cards processing strong magical powers flowing on the streets, but that had been last year and the cards were now all sealed and under control of the one capable Kinomoto Sakura. Yet, even after that, more trouble had arrived and plagued this town. One Hiragizawa Eriol had come to "assist" Sakura in refreshing the magic of these cards while creating chaos in the city.
Despite the constant trouble, Sakura had friends around her that were always dependable. Daidouji Tomoyo, for example, had been her best friend for a long while. She was the girl who enjoyed nothing more than to tape Sakura's magical adventures. There was another, though, one Li Syaoran. Li was a mysterious boy: quiet, shy, yet brave and noble. Sakura had only known Li through the capturing of the cards though; the two were first intense rivals, now they were close friends. However, Li honestly would prefer their relationship be a bit more than just friends.
Li, the cold aloof boy from Hong Kong who had always seen life as a series of steps clearly laid down by his family, had somehow found the unpredictable nature of Sakura oddly amusing. She was kind, and was full of energy, will and determination to solve problems without damaging anything. He, on the other hand, had always seen the problem with a two-dimensional view: one with only two clear options. Sakura was provocative, and he liked that.
There were many other things about the girl that fascinated him like her beauty, her sheer kindness, her innocence, and her cheerfulness. Each of these qualities made her more special: it made him love her even more. He had struggled with this feeling for quite some time now. Although Tomoyo had urged him to tell Sakura as soon as possible, he had hesitated. Partly because something always came up when he was about to open his mouth, and partly because he knew she had loved another and others loved her. Besides, he was afraid that she would never love him back.
Li casually walked through the classroom door and plopped down on his seat behind Sakura. He casually greeted her as he pulled of his hat and took out his homework. Sakura spun around and greeted him with a bright smile. Her smile made him blush; her utterly joyous personality simply radiates from her every pore. She was the embodiment of all that was beautiful in his eyes.
"Syaoran-kun! Anou ne? What were you going to tell me last night when we were at the park?" Sakura asked.
Something strange happened again last night. Sakura had sensed Clow's presence and had called him to come help her. After the whole ordeal, Li had pulled Sakura aside in an attempt to confess his feelings, but just has he opened his mouth, Yue had flew between the two dragging Sakura away to discuss the strange happenings.
Remembering all that, Li blushed heavily and shook his head. "Nothing," he muttered.
Sakura studied Li's expression for a while. "Are you sure? If you need anything—" she began.
"The teacher is here!" Yamazaki called out from the entranceway of the classroom as the students quickly stumbled back into their seats.
Terada walked in and looked around the now settled students. He opened his book and carefully took attendance before picking up a sheet of paper and read it briefly. "You know, the Arts Fair of Tomoeda elementary is next week," he began. "It will involve the whole school. The stage crew will be setting up and running the show and I believe the drama club is also performing,"
"Hai!" several of the students in class called out.
"Well, we can't do anything together as a class, but I want every one of you in this room to participate," Terada continued as his eyes surveyed the class. "After all, it's a school fair and as students, you should contribute. There are two portions to the fair: the first being the performance, and the second, an arts exhibition to show paintings and sculptures you have been working on throughout the year," Terada paused. "For the performance, you can sing, dance, do a skit, play a piece, or any other thing you want but remember, I want everyone in this room to be involved," he said firmly.
***
"Hoeeee!!! What am I going to do?!" Sakura whined as she took a seat next to Tomoyo on the field. They were all sitting in a circle: Chiharu was next to Yamazaki who was trying to tell another lie to Li. Eriol was also next to Li and he and Yamazaki were making up ridiculous stories to which Li nodded in puzzlement. Rika and Naoko giggled next to Chiharu who was completely exasperated. Tomoyo was next to Rika and Sakrua completed the circle.
"Don't worry, you'll be just fine," Chiharu reassured her friend.
"Ne? What are you doing Chiharu-chan?" Tomoyo asked.
"Yamazaki-kun and I are members of the stage crew. We will be busy that night trying to move things around and keep the performances going. I don't think I will have time to perform," Chiharu answered.
"Speaking of performances," Yamazaki began but was quickly quieted by Chiharu who stuffed a bun into his mouth.
"What are you doing, Rika-chan?" Sakura asked.
"Naoko-chan and I are playing a duet on the piano," Rika smiled. "You can join us if you like, Sakura-chan" she offered.
Sakura let out a slight embarrassing laugh. "No thanks," she replied. "I don't know how to play,"
"I'm playing a piano piece too. I'm accompanying Daidouji-san in her song," Eriol added.
"Really? Tomoyo-chan is singing another solo with the choir?" Naoko asked excitedly.
"No, I wanted to sing a solo piece this time and I asked Hiragizawa-kun to accompany me since he plays the piano very well," Tomoyo smiled.
"Eriol-kun is surely talented! He's good at school, sports, arts, and music!" Sakura chimed smiling widely.
Li shot a dirty look at Eriol who simply smiled back at him.
"What are you doing, Syaoran-kun?" Sakura asked finally.
"Programs," Li replied coldly as he stood up and stormed away bitterly.
"Wait!" Sakura called out behind him but Li had already left. Sighing disappointedly she whispered to Tomoyo "Is Syaoran-kun acting a bit weird lately?"
Tomoyo laughed. "It must be competition!"
Eriol smiled gingerly at the confused Sakura.
***
"Kero-chan, what should I do? I don't know how to participate in the arts fair at school!" Sakura whined as she threw herself onto her bed staring blankly at the ceiling.
Kero hovered over the desk and flew over to sit next to Sakura on her bed. He crossed his legs and arms and closed his eyes in deep thought. "What are the others doing?"
"Tomoyo-chan is singing. Chiharu-chan is helping out backstage with Yamazaki-kun. Naoko-chan and Rika-chan are doing a piano duet and Syaoran-kun is designing the program," Sakura muttered as she pulled her pillow from under her head and hugged it in her arms.
"Even that kid got something to do?" Kero asked rather surprised.
"I just don't—" Sakura began.
"Sakura-san, dinner's ready!" Fujitaka's voice called from downstairs and filtered into her room.
"Coming!" Sakura called back as she pulled herself off her bed and straightened her clothes. She sniffed the air and smiled. "Hmmm…smells good. I'll bring you something," she said to Kero before heading out her room and headed downstairs.
The table was set for four that night. Touya and Yukito were bringing out the dishes and napkins while Fujitaka was adding the last decorations to each dish.
"Just like the kaiju, eat, sleep, and stomp around all day," Touya remarked sarcastically as he brought out another dish while Sakura plopped down onto a chair.
"I'm not a kaiju!" Sakura yelled.
Yukito giggled at the brother and sister. Their argument always made him feel warm because it was an element of any close loving family.
"All right, stoop that," Fujitaka said as he brought out the last dish and placed it on the table. "Let's eat and stop arguing,"
Sakura nodded. "Itada kimasu!" She picked up her chopsticks but let out a sigh when she remembered that she still had to come up with something to do for the Arts Fair at school. That problem was simply gnawing at her consciousness.
Yukito studied Sakura curiously. "Eh? Sakura-chan, is something bothering you?"
Sakura sighed. "Well, there's the Arts Fair …" she began.
"Sou desu! I'll come this year!" Yukito smiled.
"Well…everyone in school has to participate but I don't know what to do," Sakura finished.
Yukito studied Sakura's expression for a while. "Daijoubu, Sakura-chan. There's something you could do for the fair. I'll help think," Yukito offered.
Sakura's face brightened with a wide grin. "Honto?" she asked hopefully.
"Yes. Touya would too, won't you?" Yukito smiled turning to Touya.
Touya let out a sigh as he put his chopsticks and rice bowl. He closed his eyes slightly and crossed his arms. "Five chores," he said plainly.
Sakura studied his expression sheepishly. "Five chores for you to think?"
"Five chores for me to tell you what to do for the festival," Touya replied coldly.
Sakura grumbled a bit in annoyance. "I'm desperate so tell me,"
"I'll teach you to play mother's song," Touya said simply.
Sakura's eyes widened in amazement and joy as she turned to look at Touya in the eye. "Honto?"
Touya merely nodded as he picked up his chopsticks and bowl of rice. "Of course, a kaiju like you will probably mess it up,"
"I'm not a kaiju!"
***
Sakura sat in the dressing room in a velvet navy blue dress that Tomoyo had especially made for her for this performance. Tomoyo said it was modeled after a picture she saw of Sakura's mother wearing a similar coloured dress that Tomoyo's mother had shown her. Sakura clutched onto the music score and notes Touya and Yukito had written out for her just in case the "kaiju forgets how to play" when her turn was up. Though Touya was mocking her when he had handed her the sheets, she knew that her brother was indeed kind and only wanted Sakura to feel more comfortable when she was on stage. Despite that, Sakura was still shaking in nervous anticipation. She loved her mother's song and wished she could play as prettily as her mother once did. Her brain echoed with half-remembered advice from Touya about playing the piece from the heart and leaning on the notes that she felt was most important. None of that mattered now though.
The dressing room buzzed with conversations as the stage crew desperately tried to get the equipment organized and several other musical, play, and dance ensembles were going through the last adjustments to their skits. A group of students gathered around admiring at the handy craftwork on the programs. Li had used a brush to design the program giving it a very exotic Chinese air. He had only used diluted black ink and he had drawn a bamboo staff on one side of the page while printed in neat yet elaborate kanji "Tomoeda Arts Fair" on the other. He had written in exquisite fine print each of the acts in order inside the program. The design was truly marvelous. Sakura placed her sheets on the counter under the mirror and picked up the program. She stared at it intensely finding her name on the sixth slot. She was scheduled to perform immediately after Naoko and Rika's piano duet.
"Daijoubu?" Li asked as he pulled up a chair and sat next to Sakura.
Sakura looked up and smiled at Li. "Un, it's a nice design," she said showing Li the program.
Li blushed and turned away. "Arigatou," he paused. "Are you ready?"
It was Sakura's turn to look away now. "Well…just a bit nervous," she said quietly as she put down the program and picked up her sheets staring at them blankly. "I wish I could play as well as my mother and oniichan," she said. Her hands began to shake again as her mind drifted to think about the daunting task at hand.
"I…I'll go with you," Li said simply but firmly.
Sakura looked up at Li who was blushing in a light shade of pink and had once again turned away from her. "Syaoran-kun?"
"You're playing with the sheets right? I'll go to flip the pages," Li said again.
"Arigatou," Sakura smiled.
"Kinomoto-san!" Yamazaki called from afar. "Come here for a moment, I want to know where you want the organ,"
"Hai!" Sakura called back as she stood up and smiled at Li again before heading off.
Li let out a great sigh as he watched Sakura skipped across the dressing room towards the backstage. Sakura was always able to make him do things that he usually won't.
"Li-kun is very kind," Tomoyo's voice chimed in as she walked up to stand in front of Li breaking his concentration.
"What?! I…" Li stuttered but was unable to come up with a response.
"You knew Sakura-chan didn't want to be alone on stage, so you offered to go up with her," Tomoyo analyzed with a smile.
"No…I…" Li tried again to redeem himself.
"You really love Sakura-chan a lot," Tomoyo said softly as she took the seat Sakura once occupied as she gazed into Li's intense eyes tentatively.
Li avoided her gaze and looked down at the floor. He merely nodded at Tomoyo's comment.
"Because Sakura-chan is such a kind-hearted person, she won't know you love her unless you tell her," Tomoyo said quietly so that only Li could hear her while studying Li carefully.
"I know," Li replied without looking up at Tomoyo.
"Then why don't you?" Tomoyo asked as she bent down and tried to meet Li eye to eye.
"I…" Li began but lost to words.
"Sakura-chan won't respond badly," Tomoyo assured.
"I know," Li muttered.
"5 minutes, everyone! Get ready! Daidouji, you're first!" Terada's voice called from backstage.
"Hai!" Tomoyo called back and with a wide grin at Li, swung around and headed backstage.
***
Sakura stood on the backstage and Li was next to her watching her closely. Sakura clutched onto her music sheets tightly as she heard Naoko and Rika's duet. It was coming to an end and she was getting more nervous with each note. Li placed a hand gently on her shoulder trying to calm her down but to no avail. Sakura was shaking, her hands were drenched in cold sweat, and all her muscles were tense.
"Daijoubu," Li muttered once more into her ears. "I'll help,"
As if those were the magical words Sakura has been waiting to hear, she relaxed and beamed as she turned to Li. "Arigatou,"
Naoko and Rika's duet has ended as the crowds applauded and cheered in approval. Sakura peeked from the backstage to see Rika and Naoko standing up and bowing slightly to the audience as two stage crew members walked up handing each performer a bouquet of pink and white flowers. The two girls smiled widely before turning around heading to the backstage.
"Good luck, Sakura-chan," Rika smiled as she passed by Sakura heading back to the dressing room.
"Try your best," Naoko reassured her friend before catching up with Rika.
"Next, we have Kinomoto Sakura at the organ," Terada introduced. Taking a soothing deep breath, Sakura straightened up and walked boldly onto the stage with Li trailing behind her. Yamazaki and Chiharu pushed the two pianos aside and brought out the organ from behind the curtains. Placing the sheets onto the music stand, Sakura took a seat onto the bench. Li sat silently next to her on the edge of the bench and studied her carefully. 'Daijoubu…' Sakura thought to herself.
Sakura placed her hand gently on the keyboard as she began to play. Li followed the notes on the sheets preparing to flip the page when Sakura was done. Then suddenly, a shadowy figure faded into view, it was Nadeshiko. She took a seat next to Sakura and placed her hands gently onto her daughter's following her as she played the song. 'It feels like Okaasan," Sakura thought to herself but she didn't dare to look. She didn't want to distract herself form the piece.
Soon, the last note was played and Sakura found herself on stage with a standing ovation beneath her. She stood up and bowed looking at the crowd with a smile. She could see her father wiping his eyes with a white handkerchief, Touya was smiling slightly and clapping with approval while Yukito was cheerful as ever. Nakuru, however, wasn't clapping. Instead, she clung onto Touya who occasionally eyed her annoyingly. Eriol clapped loudly from the front row with a wide grin as usual. She spotted Tomoyo on the aisle behind a camera giving her the ok sign and a huge smile. Tomoyo's mother was there too and she was in tears. Her bodyguards surrounded her handing her boxes of tissues. Sakura smiled and bowed as a stage crewmember handed her a bouquet. She bowed and again before heading back.
***
Sakura stood with her friends in the gymnasium reception area casually chatting about the performance. Her friends and classmates congratulated her on the wonderful performance while Tomoyo glowed with excitement as she told everyone how she managed to catch the entire performance on tape. Touya, unfortunately, left immediately after her performance saying that he had another part-time job. Yukito had followed him. Fujitaka stood next to Sakura with a hand on her shoulder.
"Was it good?" Sakura asked turning to her father.
"Yes, that's how Nadeshiko-san used to play. It was beautiful. It reminded me of her," he replied.
"Sakura-chan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sanomi called from afar as she ran past the gymnasium and threw herself at the girl giving her a tight hug. Sakura looked at her confused while Tomoyo merely smiled and whipped out her camera to film yet another Sakura moment.
"That piece! That piece was beautiful! You play just like your mother," Sonomi cried. She had broken into tears again and the bodyguards surrounded her with boxes of tissue yet again.
"Daijoubu desu ka?" Fujitaka asked somewhat surprised by Sonomi's emotional state.
Sonomi merely ignored the question. "Were you nervous to play in front of all these people?" she asked Sakura gazing at her eyes intently.
"Un but I had help. Syaoran-kun was there and…wait! Syaoran-kun!" Sakura called out suddenly realizing that Li hadn't returned to the dressing room with her and that she still hadn't thanked him for helping her at the performance. Pulling away from Tomoyo's mother, Sakura looked desperately around the gym for Li but he was nowhere to be seen. "He didn't leave yet, did he?"
"I saw Li-kun walking outside just a while back. Maybe you can catch him," Tomoyo said from behind the camera.
Sakura merely nodded as she pushed herself away form the crowd dashing outside.
"Syaoran-kun?" Sonomi asked dazed.
***
The entire performing arts show had ended and now all the visitors and performers were in the gymnasium admiring some paintings and sculptures while enjoying a light snack of fruit juice, cookies and cakes. Li watched through the window from outside the school where he sat cross-legged on a thick tree branch. He wasn't particularly keen on social gatherings and parties. He much preferred the peace and quiet where he could concentrate on his thoughts. The crowd reminded him too much of his home in Hong Kong, whether it be the streets or at home where he lived with his four rather energetic sisters and a strict mother.
"There is a full moon today. It must be lucky," Eriol said as he poked his head to face Li from an adjacent branch and smiled "for you," he added almost as an after thought.
Li ignored Eriol's comment completely. In fact, he didn't even acknowledge Eriol's presence. He wasn't too fond of the boy despite Eriol was always kind and polite. Eriol had an effect on Sakura, and he was jealous because of it. His legs dangled off the tree branch and his eyes continued fixed on peering through the window at the brown-haired, green-eyed girl inside the lighted room in the school. She was talking to another adult but had suddenly swung around frantically as if she had lost something and was desperately looking for it.
Eriol sat down on the adjacent branch. Li would never respond to him and he was well aware of that. But if Li knew who he really was…well…that would be an entirely different matter. Without trying to push a response out from the Chinese boy, he smiled and gazed at the direction Li was fixed at and continued "If there are things that you want to do but you haven't been able to do them before, you should do them tonight because the there's a full moon,"
Li had enough of Eriol already. Always with the cryptic messages and strange hints. Li was entirely disconcerted with Eriol's every word and even his mere presence. Eriol had an effect over him too: it made him edgy, angry and suspicious. Letting out an annoyed sigh, Li swung his legs off the branch and jumped onto the ground. Without looking back at Eriol or even bidding him good night, he began to walk towards the school gates.
"There are many things you still need to learn. Not just about astronomy," Eriol said seeing Li move towards the gates. He needed to say that; he wanted to give him advice. After all, that was what elders do for the young.
Hearing the phrase, Li halted. He stood there simply pondering at Eriol's last words. He turned his head slightly to see Eriol still up on the tree looking intensely at him. Li looked back at him curiously as his eyes narrowed. "You always say that! What's that supposed to mean?"
Eriol's eyes narrowed too looking at Li slyly. "You'll know," he muttered quietly to himself as he melted back into the shadows out of sight in the tree.
Li glared at the spot where Eriol was angrily. There was definitely something strange and awfully suspicious about the boy. He began to concentrate on all the phrases and warnings Eriol had given him in the past but his train of thoughts was suddenly interrupted.
"Syaoran-kun!!!!" Sakura called out as she dashed out the doors running up next to him. She studied Li's serious expression for a moment and looked at the direction where his eyes were fixed on. "Hoe?" she asked completely perplexed.
"Nothing," Li muttered as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket and stared out past the gates onto the streets. "What?"
"Are you going somewhere, Syaoran-kun?" Sakura asked.
"I'm going home," Li replied without turning to Sakura. His mind was still preoccupied with what Eriol had last said.
"Already?" Sakura asked. "But there are lots of other things to see! Tomoyo-chan has a lot of photographs that are in the art exhibit. Aren't you going to see them?"
Li sighed. Eriol's influence on him always made him feel uneasy. Sakura, on the other hand, also had a power over him: somehow, he could never turn down any request from that girl. "I'll stay," he muttered in a defeated tone.
"Honto?" Sakura smile widened. "Let's go!" she cheered as she grabbed Li's wrist and began dragging him back into the school.
***
Ruby Moon sat next to Eriol on the tree as she watched Sakura pull Li back into the school. Her purplish-pink hair flowed down her back and past her slender waist then finally curving on her thighs. Her translucent butterfly wings spanned across their entire length. "Mou, Eriol, aren't we going to play tonight?" she whined.
"Didn't you have enough fun, Ruby Moon?" Eriol asked without turning to face her.
"Sitting next to Touya-kun was absolutely fun! But why aren't we playing with that cute little Card Mistress and her friends?" Ruby Moon moaned.
"No, the full moon tonight is with my dear little relative. I'll let him be for tonight," Eriol said simply.
"Just tonight?" Ruby moon asked hopefully.
"Just tonight,"
***
Sakura had dragged Li all around the gymnasium looking at the different paintings. They finally reached the corner of the gym in the opposite end from where they have started. Tomoyo was standing with her mother who was still arguing over minor details with Sakura's father. Sakura was glad she had this time alone because she wanted to thank Li for offering to help her tonight. Somehow, she didn't feel like doing it in front of many other people. Besides, she thought perhaps if she was alone again with Li, maybe he would tell her what he had intended to last week. Sakura pulled Li off to one corner and looked down at the ground with a small smile.
"Anou ne?" Sakura began. "Thank you for today,"
Li stared back at Sakura lost. "Hmmm?"
"Thank you for staying by my side in the performance. Without you, I don't think I could have played at all," Sakura said. "I was too nervous to concentrate but you always help me out,"
"I did nothing," Li insisted turning away form Sakura.
"You always say that but it isn't true. You are a very kind person, Syaoran-kun and you never hesitate to help me," Sakura smiled.
Li's face was glowing red now. Perhaps he could keep himself from falling apart completely if he simply didn't look at her. "I…" he began but Tomoyo's advice echoed in his head urging him to finally expressed his feelings.
Sakura looked at Li tenderly. "What is it?"
"Nothing," he muttered out. Somehow he couldn't bring himself to say those words.
Sakura looked somewhat disappointed. Li was about to tell her something but he once again didn't. She was curious about what he had to say but didn't dare to inquire further. She sighed as she pushed the emergency fire exit of the gym open and stepped out to the open. Somehow the fact Li wasn't telling her something bothered her. It was strange.
Li seeing the disappointment in her eyes, sadly followed Sakura. The gym door closed gently behind the two as they stood next to each other admiring the stars and the bright full moon. 'Full moon…' Li thought. Eriol had told him that he should be lucky today.
"It's a beautiful moon," Sakura said looking up at the sky. Li merely nodded in compliance. "Last time I saw such a moon was at the judgment," Sakura recalled. "Everyone forgot the person they loved most. It was lonely,"
"You beat Yue despite of that," Li reminded her.
"Yes, but it was still a lonely world. I saw what the world was like and I didn't want that to happen," Sakura replied.
"It didn't happen," Li reassured her.
"In the dream, Tomoyo ignored me, Otousan didn't have Okaasan's picture, Oniichan went to school alone, Terada-sensei wasn't our teacher and Yamazaki-kun and Chiharu-chan weren't friends," Sakura began, "You seemed different too, you didn't seem to care,"
"Huh?" Li asked puzzled.
"You didn't seem to care about anything," Sakura answered. "You must love everything a lot because after you lose that feeling, you didn't seem to care about anything,"
"Well…I…" Li began to stutter. "It's not that,"
"Then what is it?" Sakura asked tenderly as she turned to face Li in the eye not letting his intense gaze shift away.
"I probably forgot my cherished feeling which is tied to everything else I normally do," Li concluded. "I…" he began "I…" Now was the best time to confess. At least when he did it, it would somehow integrate into their conversation so it won't be as awkward. Li was thankful for that. He took a deep breath as he tried to calm himself. He tried gazing into those sparkling green eyes at first, but it simply made his face glow with intense red and his throat choke. Li couldn't look Sakura directly in the eye and confess. It would break him. He turned down and stared at his feet as his face began to feel warmer again. "I care about you the most, Sakura"
He had finally said it. With a deep breath, he calmed himself and looked up again to see Sakura's reaction but she was no longer gazing at him. Instead, she had turned away blushing in a brilliant shade of red. Her eyes began to water with tears and she was once again shaking.
"I'm sorry," Li immediately apologized already regretting his confession.
Sakura stood there for a moment still shivering but with great determination, she shook her head. Tears dripped from her eyes, down her cheek and finally onto the floor. Li stumbled back a bit uncertain as to what to do.
"I should go," Li muttered quietly. "I'm sorry," he apologized again as he turned to leave. Just as he had begun to walk away, Sakura reached out to pull him back. He turned around puzzled at her sudden action. He studied Sakura carefully. She still faced the ground unwilling to meet his gaze. Tears were pouring down her eyes and her face was becoming more puffy. Her one shaking hand held tightly onto Li's wrist while the other clenched in a nervous sweating fist. Li took a step closer to her and placed his comforting hands on her shoulder. "I shouldn't have…"
Sakura moved a step closer to Li resting her head on his strong shoulder. She tucked her arms around her heart to stop it from beating so fast but to no avail. Her mind was filled with emotions and images. There was Yukito, the first one she'd ever loved. She had long since realized that she loved Yukito as she loved her father but she still couldn't help but to feel wonderful around him. Then there was Li. She had always thought of him as a friend and nothing more but now he had confessed his feelings, she wasn't sure if she felt them too.
Li was about to turn away and leave her alone to sort things out but a part of her didn't want him to leave for fear that when he comes back again, he would have taken her crying as a rejection and would consequently shy away from her unconditionally. She knew she definitely didn't want that to happen. Images of Li flashed in her head from the moment they have first met competing for the Clow Cards to the times when he endlessly help her out in the conversion of the cards. Beyond that, he was helping her with other problems and providing her with the type of friendship she had always yearned for. She felt safe, comforted and secure around him, a feeling that she had so rarely found even with her family. Surely, her family loved her and she felt comfortable around them, but Li made her feel something else, he made her feel at peace like nothing in the world will ever terribly go wrong and even if something happened, somehow, someway, the two of them would be able to pull through. Over the years, she had grown to be dependent on him and she feared being alone when facing any obstacle. Just like the concert, without Li, she would have chocked on stage.
Sakura knew she loved Li but she wasn't sure if it was the same love he experienced for her. She just wasn't sure yet. It was different form the way she was attracted to Yukito. 'Different' she thought. She loved Yukito like she loved her father so if her feelings for Li was different, she must love Li not only for his friendship, and companionship like her family and her other friends including Tomoyo, Chiharu, Rika, and Naoko. Placing her hands onto Li's arms and gripping them tightly, Sakura pulled herself up and gazed into his eyes with determination.
"I…" Li began again "I am really…"
Sakura shook her head "Don't apologize," she began. Her voice was hoarse and small. She didn't quite trust using it to the full extent. "Please don't apologize,"
Li fell silent. His arms still locked on Sakura's shoulders.
"Syaoran-kun…I…I think I also…" Sakura began as she gazed into his eyes. "No, I know you are the most important person in my life," Sakura finished hoping desperately that Li could hear her despite the softness of her voice.
They were silent for a moment as Sakura's eyes began to water again. 'Please be able to hear me' she prayed 'I don't think I can say it again without falling apart,'
Then Li's lips curved into a smile. "Yokatta," he whispered. "I didn't think you would,"
Sakura sighed in relief as she sided her arms around his neck and tucked into his chest for a warm embrace.
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Owari!
Comments are welcomed at smile_smilie@hotmail.com
For those who don't know:
Anou ne – you know
Kaiju – monster (what Touya likes to call Sakura)
Itada kimasu – let's eat (say that before every meal)
Sou desu – is that so
Un – yes (very casual)
Daijoubu – it's ok
Honto – really
Arigatou – thank you
Yokatta – thank goodness
Comments are always welcomed at smilie_smilie@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the general Card Captor Sakura story. It's the property of Clamp. This story is written as a past time. No copyright infringement intended.
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The marshmallow white clouds lined the light blue sky as a slight breeze blew by the pink cherry blossom trees spreading their peddles in all different directions. The wind was a sign of the oncoming cold unforgiving winter but for now, the temperature was perfect and the air was crisp. This town was like any other suburban area lined with small individual houses bordered with white picket fences. Neighbours greeted each other good morning and good day as each of them headed to their individual path to work. Children crowded together and walked in pairs and trios to school. This was Tomoeda, and it was like every other town.
Then again, every town had their own unique qualities. Tomoeda was famous for the flowers they breed. Sakura trees lined the roads and Nadeshiko was the symbol of the city. There was also something else that attracted certain types of people to this city: magic. There was once cards processing strong magical powers flowing on the streets, but that had been last year and the cards were now all sealed and under control of the one capable Kinomoto Sakura. Yet, even after that, more trouble had arrived and plagued this town. One Hiragizawa Eriol had come to "assist" Sakura in refreshing the magic of these cards while creating chaos in the city.
Despite the constant trouble, Sakura had friends around her that were always dependable. Daidouji Tomoyo, for example, had been her best friend for a long while. She was the girl who enjoyed nothing more than to tape Sakura's magical adventures. There was another, though, one Li Syaoran. Li was a mysterious boy: quiet, shy, yet brave and noble. Sakura had only known Li through the capturing of the cards though; the two were first intense rivals, now they were close friends. However, Li honestly would prefer their relationship be a bit more than just friends.
Li, the cold aloof boy from Hong Kong who had always seen life as a series of steps clearly laid down by his family, had somehow found the unpredictable nature of Sakura oddly amusing. She was kind, and was full of energy, will and determination to solve problems without damaging anything. He, on the other hand, had always seen the problem with a two-dimensional view: one with only two clear options. Sakura was provocative, and he liked that.
There were many other things about the girl that fascinated him like her beauty, her sheer kindness, her innocence, and her cheerfulness. Each of these qualities made her more special: it made him love her even more. He had struggled with this feeling for quite some time now. Although Tomoyo had urged him to tell Sakura as soon as possible, he had hesitated. Partly because something always came up when he was about to open his mouth, and partly because he knew she had loved another and others loved her. Besides, he was afraid that she would never love him back.
Li casually walked through the classroom door and plopped down on his seat behind Sakura. He casually greeted her as he pulled of his hat and took out his homework. Sakura spun around and greeted him with a bright smile. Her smile made him blush; her utterly joyous personality simply radiates from her every pore. She was the embodiment of all that was beautiful in his eyes.
"Syaoran-kun! Anou ne? What were you going to tell me last night when we were at the park?" Sakura asked.
Something strange happened again last night. Sakura had sensed Clow's presence and had called him to come help her. After the whole ordeal, Li had pulled Sakura aside in an attempt to confess his feelings, but just has he opened his mouth, Yue had flew between the two dragging Sakura away to discuss the strange happenings.
Remembering all that, Li blushed heavily and shook his head. "Nothing," he muttered.
Sakura studied Li's expression for a while. "Are you sure? If you need anything—" she began.
"The teacher is here!" Yamazaki called out from the entranceway of the classroom as the students quickly stumbled back into their seats.
Terada walked in and looked around the now settled students. He opened his book and carefully took attendance before picking up a sheet of paper and read it briefly. "You know, the Arts Fair of Tomoeda elementary is next week," he began. "It will involve the whole school. The stage crew will be setting up and running the show and I believe the drama club is also performing,"
"Hai!" several of the students in class called out.
"Well, we can't do anything together as a class, but I want every one of you in this room to participate," Terada continued as his eyes surveyed the class. "After all, it's a school fair and as students, you should contribute. There are two portions to the fair: the first being the performance, and the second, an arts exhibition to show paintings and sculptures you have been working on throughout the year," Terada paused. "For the performance, you can sing, dance, do a skit, play a piece, or any other thing you want but remember, I want everyone in this room to be involved," he said firmly.
***
"Hoeeee!!! What am I going to do?!" Sakura whined as she took a seat next to Tomoyo on the field. They were all sitting in a circle: Chiharu was next to Yamazaki who was trying to tell another lie to Li. Eriol was also next to Li and he and Yamazaki were making up ridiculous stories to which Li nodded in puzzlement. Rika and Naoko giggled next to Chiharu who was completely exasperated. Tomoyo was next to Rika and Sakrua completed the circle.
"Don't worry, you'll be just fine," Chiharu reassured her friend.
"Ne? What are you doing Chiharu-chan?" Tomoyo asked.
"Yamazaki-kun and I are members of the stage crew. We will be busy that night trying to move things around and keep the performances going. I don't think I will have time to perform," Chiharu answered.
"Speaking of performances," Yamazaki began but was quickly quieted by Chiharu who stuffed a bun into his mouth.
"What are you doing, Rika-chan?" Sakura asked.
"Naoko-chan and I are playing a duet on the piano," Rika smiled. "You can join us if you like, Sakura-chan" she offered.
Sakura let out a slight embarrassing laugh. "No thanks," she replied. "I don't know how to play,"
"I'm playing a piano piece too. I'm accompanying Daidouji-san in her song," Eriol added.
"Really? Tomoyo-chan is singing another solo with the choir?" Naoko asked excitedly.
"No, I wanted to sing a solo piece this time and I asked Hiragizawa-kun to accompany me since he plays the piano very well," Tomoyo smiled.
"Eriol-kun is surely talented! He's good at school, sports, arts, and music!" Sakura chimed smiling widely.
Li shot a dirty look at Eriol who simply smiled back at him.
"What are you doing, Syaoran-kun?" Sakura asked finally.
"Programs," Li replied coldly as he stood up and stormed away bitterly.
"Wait!" Sakura called out behind him but Li had already left. Sighing disappointedly she whispered to Tomoyo "Is Syaoran-kun acting a bit weird lately?"
Tomoyo laughed. "It must be competition!"
Eriol smiled gingerly at the confused Sakura.
***
"Kero-chan, what should I do? I don't know how to participate in the arts fair at school!" Sakura whined as she threw herself onto her bed staring blankly at the ceiling.
Kero hovered over the desk and flew over to sit next to Sakura on her bed. He crossed his legs and arms and closed his eyes in deep thought. "What are the others doing?"
"Tomoyo-chan is singing. Chiharu-chan is helping out backstage with Yamazaki-kun. Naoko-chan and Rika-chan are doing a piano duet and Syaoran-kun is designing the program," Sakura muttered as she pulled her pillow from under her head and hugged it in her arms.
"Even that kid got something to do?" Kero asked rather surprised.
"I just don't—" Sakura began.
"Sakura-san, dinner's ready!" Fujitaka's voice called from downstairs and filtered into her room.
"Coming!" Sakura called back as she pulled herself off her bed and straightened her clothes. She sniffed the air and smiled. "Hmmm…smells good. I'll bring you something," she said to Kero before heading out her room and headed downstairs.
The table was set for four that night. Touya and Yukito were bringing out the dishes and napkins while Fujitaka was adding the last decorations to each dish.
"Just like the kaiju, eat, sleep, and stomp around all day," Touya remarked sarcastically as he brought out another dish while Sakura plopped down onto a chair.
"I'm not a kaiju!" Sakura yelled.
Yukito giggled at the brother and sister. Their argument always made him feel warm because it was an element of any close loving family.
"All right, stoop that," Fujitaka said as he brought out the last dish and placed it on the table. "Let's eat and stop arguing,"
Sakura nodded. "Itada kimasu!" She picked up her chopsticks but let out a sigh when she remembered that she still had to come up with something to do for the Arts Fair at school. That problem was simply gnawing at her consciousness.
Yukito studied Sakura curiously. "Eh? Sakura-chan, is something bothering you?"
Sakura sighed. "Well, there's the Arts Fair …" she began.
"Sou desu! I'll come this year!" Yukito smiled.
"Well…everyone in school has to participate but I don't know what to do," Sakura finished.
Yukito studied Sakura's expression for a while. "Daijoubu, Sakura-chan. There's something you could do for the fair. I'll help think," Yukito offered.
Sakura's face brightened with a wide grin. "Honto?" she asked hopefully.
"Yes. Touya would too, won't you?" Yukito smiled turning to Touya.
Touya let out a sigh as he put his chopsticks and rice bowl. He closed his eyes slightly and crossed his arms. "Five chores," he said plainly.
Sakura studied his expression sheepishly. "Five chores for you to think?"
"Five chores for me to tell you what to do for the festival," Touya replied coldly.
Sakura grumbled a bit in annoyance. "I'm desperate so tell me,"
"I'll teach you to play mother's song," Touya said simply.
Sakura's eyes widened in amazement and joy as she turned to look at Touya in the eye. "Honto?"
Touya merely nodded as he picked up his chopsticks and bowl of rice. "Of course, a kaiju like you will probably mess it up,"
"I'm not a kaiju!"
***
Sakura sat in the dressing room in a velvet navy blue dress that Tomoyo had especially made for her for this performance. Tomoyo said it was modeled after a picture she saw of Sakura's mother wearing a similar coloured dress that Tomoyo's mother had shown her. Sakura clutched onto the music score and notes Touya and Yukito had written out for her just in case the "kaiju forgets how to play" when her turn was up. Though Touya was mocking her when he had handed her the sheets, she knew that her brother was indeed kind and only wanted Sakura to feel more comfortable when she was on stage. Despite that, Sakura was still shaking in nervous anticipation. She loved her mother's song and wished she could play as prettily as her mother once did. Her brain echoed with half-remembered advice from Touya about playing the piece from the heart and leaning on the notes that she felt was most important. None of that mattered now though.
The dressing room buzzed with conversations as the stage crew desperately tried to get the equipment organized and several other musical, play, and dance ensembles were going through the last adjustments to their skits. A group of students gathered around admiring at the handy craftwork on the programs. Li had used a brush to design the program giving it a very exotic Chinese air. He had only used diluted black ink and he had drawn a bamboo staff on one side of the page while printed in neat yet elaborate kanji "Tomoeda Arts Fair" on the other. He had written in exquisite fine print each of the acts in order inside the program. The design was truly marvelous. Sakura placed her sheets on the counter under the mirror and picked up the program. She stared at it intensely finding her name on the sixth slot. She was scheduled to perform immediately after Naoko and Rika's piano duet.
"Daijoubu?" Li asked as he pulled up a chair and sat next to Sakura.
Sakura looked up and smiled at Li. "Un, it's a nice design," she said showing Li the program.
Li blushed and turned away. "Arigatou," he paused. "Are you ready?"
It was Sakura's turn to look away now. "Well…just a bit nervous," she said quietly as she put down the program and picked up her sheets staring at them blankly. "I wish I could play as well as my mother and oniichan," she said. Her hands began to shake again as her mind drifted to think about the daunting task at hand.
"I…I'll go with you," Li said simply but firmly.
Sakura looked up at Li who was blushing in a light shade of pink and had once again turned away from her. "Syaoran-kun?"
"You're playing with the sheets right? I'll go to flip the pages," Li said again.
"Arigatou," Sakura smiled.
"Kinomoto-san!" Yamazaki called from afar. "Come here for a moment, I want to know where you want the organ,"
"Hai!" Sakura called back as she stood up and smiled at Li again before heading off.
Li let out a great sigh as he watched Sakura skipped across the dressing room towards the backstage. Sakura was always able to make him do things that he usually won't.
"Li-kun is very kind," Tomoyo's voice chimed in as she walked up to stand in front of Li breaking his concentration.
"What?! I…" Li stuttered but was unable to come up with a response.
"You knew Sakura-chan didn't want to be alone on stage, so you offered to go up with her," Tomoyo analyzed with a smile.
"No…I…" Li tried again to redeem himself.
"You really love Sakura-chan a lot," Tomoyo said softly as she took the seat Sakura once occupied as she gazed into Li's intense eyes tentatively.
Li avoided her gaze and looked down at the floor. He merely nodded at Tomoyo's comment.
"Because Sakura-chan is such a kind-hearted person, she won't know you love her unless you tell her," Tomoyo said quietly so that only Li could hear her while studying Li carefully.
"I know," Li replied without looking up at Tomoyo.
"Then why don't you?" Tomoyo asked as she bent down and tried to meet Li eye to eye.
"I…" Li began but lost to words.
"Sakura-chan won't respond badly," Tomoyo assured.
"I know," Li muttered.
"5 minutes, everyone! Get ready! Daidouji, you're first!" Terada's voice called from backstage.
"Hai!" Tomoyo called back and with a wide grin at Li, swung around and headed backstage.
***
Sakura stood on the backstage and Li was next to her watching her closely. Sakura clutched onto her music sheets tightly as she heard Naoko and Rika's duet. It was coming to an end and she was getting more nervous with each note. Li placed a hand gently on her shoulder trying to calm her down but to no avail. Sakura was shaking, her hands were drenched in cold sweat, and all her muscles were tense.
"Daijoubu," Li muttered once more into her ears. "I'll help,"
As if those were the magical words Sakura has been waiting to hear, she relaxed and beamed as she turned to Li. "Arigatou,"
Naoko and Rika's duet has ended as the crowds applauded and cheered in approval. Sakura peeked from the backstage to see Rika and Naoko standing up and bowing slightly to the audience as two stage crew members walked up handing each performer a bouquet of pink and white flowers. The two girls smiled widely before turning around heading to the backstage.
"Good luck, Sakura-chan," Rika smiled as she passed by Sakura heading back to the dressing room.
"Try your best," Naoko reassured her friend before catching up with Rika.
"Next, we have Kinomoto Sakura at the organ," Terada introduced. Taking a soothing deep breath, Sakura straightened up and walked boldly onto the stage with Li trailing behind her. Yamazaki and Chiharu pushed the two pianos aside and brought out the organ from behind the curtains. Placing the sheets onto the music stand, Sakura took a seat onto the bench. Li sat silently next to her on the edge of the bench and studied her carefully. 'Daijoubu…' Sakura thought to herself.
Sakura placed her hand gently on the keyboard as she began to play. Li followed the notes on the sheets preparing to flip the page when Sakura was done. Then suddenly, a shadowy figure faded into view, it was Nadeshiko. She took a seat next to Sakura and placed her hands gently onto her daughter's following her as she played the song. 'It feels like Okaasan," Sakura thought to herself but she didn't dare to look. She didn't want to distract herself form the piece.
Soon, the last note was played and Sakura found herself on stage with a standing ovation beneath her. She stood up and bowed looking at the crowd with a smile. She could see her father wiping his eyes with a white handkerchief, Touya was smiling slightly and clapping with approval while Yukito was cheerful as ever. Nakuru, however, wasn't clapping. Instead, she clung onto Touya who occasionally eyed her annoyingly. Eriol clapped loudly from the front row with a wide grin as usual. She spotted Tomoyo on the aisle behind a camera giving her the ok sign and a huge smile. Tomoyo's mother was there too and she was in tears. Her bodyguards surrounded her handing her boxes of tissues. Sakura smiled and bowed as a stage crewmember handed her a bouquet. She bowed and again before heading back.
***
Sakura stood with her friends in the gymnasium reception area casually chatting about the performance. Her friends and classmates congratulated her on the wonderful performance while Tomoyo glowed with excitement as she told everyone how she managed to catch the entire performance on tape. Touya, unfortunately, left immediately after her performance saying that he had another part-time job. Yukito had followed him. Fujitaka stood next to Sakura with a hand on her shoulder.
"Was it good?" Sakura asked turning to her father.
"Yes, that's how Nadeshiko-san used to play. It was beautiful. It reminded me of her," he replied.
"Sakura-chan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sanomi called from afar as she ran past the gymnasium and threw herself at the girl giving her a tight hug. Sakura looked at her confused while Tomoyo merely smiled and whipped out her camera to film yet another Sakura moment.
"That piece! That piece was beautiful! You play just like your mother," Sonomi cried. She had broken into tears again and the bodyguards surrounded her with boxes of tissue yet again.
"Daijoubu desu ka?" Fujitaka asked somewhat surprised by Sonomi's emotional state.
Sonomi merely ignored the question. "Were you nervous to play in front of all these people?" she asked Sakura gazing at her eyes intently.
"Un but I had help. Syaoran-kun was there and…wait! Syaoran-kun!" Sakura called out suddenly realizing that Li hadn't returned to the dressing room with her and that she still hadn't thanked him for helping her at the performance. Pulling away from Tomoyo's mother, Sakura looked desperately around the gym for Li but he was nowhere to be seen. "He didn't leave yet, did he?"
"I saw Li-kun walking outside just a while back. Maybe you can catch him," Tomoyo said from behind the camera.
Sakura merely nodded as she pushed herself away form the crowd dashing outside.
"Syaoran-kun?" Sonomi asked dazed.
***
The entire performing arts show had ended and now all the visitors and performers were in the gymnasium admiring some paintings and sculptures while enjoying a light snack of fruit juice, cookies and cakes. Li watched through the window from outside the school where he sat cross-legged on a thick tree branch. He wasn't particularly keen on social gatherings and parties. He much preferred the peace and quiet where he could concentrate on his thoughts. The crowd reminded him too much of his home in Hong Kong, whether it be the streets or at home where he lived with his four rather energetic sisters and a strict mother.
"There is a full moon today. It must be lucky," Eriol said as he poked his head to face Li from an adjacent branch and smiled "for you," he added almost as an after thought.
Li ignored Eriol's comment completely. In fact, he didn't even acknowledge Eriol's presence. He wasn't too fond of the boy despite Eriol was always kind and polite. Eriol had an effect on Sakura, and he was jealous because of it. His legs dangled off the tree branch and his eyes continued fixed on peering through the window at the brown-haired, green-eyed girl inside the lighted room in the school. She was talking to another adult but had suddenly swung around frantically as if she had lost something and was desperately looking for it.
Eriol sat down on the adjacent branch. Li would never respond to him and he was well aware of that. But if Li knew who he really was…well…that would be an entirely different matter. Without trying to push a response out from the Chinese boy, he smiled and gazed at the direction Li was fixed at and continued "If there are things that you want to do but you haven't been able to do them before, you should do them tonight because the there's a full moon,"
Li had enough of Eriol already. Always with the cryptic messages and strange hints. Li was entirely disconcerted with Eriol's every word and even his mere presence. Eriol had an effect over him too: it made him edgy, angry and suspicious. Letting out an annoyed sigh, Li swung his legs off the branch and jumped onto the ground. Without looking back at Eriol or even bidding him good night, he began to walk towards the school gates.
"There are many things you still need to learn. Not just about astronomy," Eriol said seeing Li move towards the gates. He needed to say that; he wanted to give him advice. After all, that was what elders do for the young.
Hearing the phrase, Li halted. He stood there simply pondering at Eriol's last words. He turned his head slightly to see Eriol still up on the tree looking intensely at him. Li looked back at him curiously as his eyes narrowed. "You always say that! What's that supposed to mean?"
Eriol's eyes narrowed too looking at Li slyly. "You'll know," he muttered quietly to himself as he melted back into the shadows out of sight in the tree.
Li glared at the spot where Eriol was angrily. There was definitely something strange and awfully suspicious about the boy. He began to concentrate on all the phrases and warnings Eriol had given him in the past but his train of thoughts was suddenly interrupted.
"Syaoran-kun!!!!" Sakura called out as she dashed out the doors running up next to him. She studied Li's serious expression for a moment and looked at the direction where his eyes were fixed on. "Hoe?" she asked completely perplexed.
"Nothing," Li muttered as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket and stared out past the gates onto the streets. "What?"
"Are you going somewhere, Syaoran-kun?" Sakura asked.
"I'm going home," Li replied without turning to Sakura. His mind was still preoccupied with what Eriol had last said.
"Already?" Sakura asked. "But there are lots of other things to see! Tomoyo-chan has a lot of photographs that are in the art exhibit. Aren't you going to see them?"
Li sighed. Eriol's influence on him always made him feel uneasy. Sakura, on the other hand, also had a power over him: somehow, he could never turn down any request from that girl. "I'll stay," he muttered in a defeated tone.
"Honto?" Sakura smile widened. "Let's go!" she cheered as she grabbed Li's wrist and began dragging him back into the school.
***
Ruby Moon sat next to Eriol on the tree as she watched Sakura pull Li back into the school. Her purplish-pink hair flowed down her back and past her slender waist then finally curving on her thighs. Her translucent butterfly wings spanned across their entire length. "Mou, Eriol, aren't we going to play tonight?" she whined.
"Didn't you have enough fun, Ruby Moon?" Eriol asked without turning to face her.
"Sitting next to Touya-kun was absolutely fun! But why aren't we playing with that cute little Card Mistress and her friends?" Ruby Moon moaned.
"No, the full moon tonight is with my dear little relative. I'll let him be for tonight," Eriol said simply.
"Just tonight?" Ruby moon asked hopefully.
"Just tonight,"
***
Sakura had dragged Li all around the gymnasium looking at the different paintings. They finally reached the corner of the gym in the opposite end from where they have started. Tomoyo was standing with her mother who was still arguing over minor details with Sakura's father. Sakura was glad she had this time alone because she wanted to thank Li for offering to help her tonight. Somehow, she didn't feel like doing it in front of many other people. Besides, she thought perhaps if she was alone again with Li, maybe he would tell her what he had intended to last week. Sakura pulled Li off to one corner and looked down at the ground with a small smile.
"Anou ne?" Sakura began. "Thank you for today,"
Li stared back at Sakura lost. "Hmmm?"
"Thank you for staying by my side in the performance. Without you, I don't think I could have played at all," Sakura said. "I was too nervous to concentrate but you always help me out,"
"I did nothing," Li insisted turning away form Sakura.
"You always say that but it isn't true. You are a very kind person, Syaoran-kun and you never hesitate to help me," Sakura smiled.
Li's face was glowing red now. Perhaps he could keep himself from falling apart completely if he simply didn't look at her. "I…" he began but Tomoyo's advice echoed in his head urging him to finally expressed his feelings.
Sakura looked at Li tenderly. "What is it?"
"Nothing," he muttered out. Somehow he couldn't bring himself to say those words.
Sakura looked somewhat disappointed. Li was about to tell her something but he once again didn't. She was curious about what he had to say but didn't dare to inquire further. She sighed as she pushed the emergency fire exit of the gym open and stepped out to the open. Somehow the fact Li wasn't telling her something bothered her. It was strange.
Li seeing the disappointment in her eyes, sadly followed Sakura. The gym door closed gently behind the two as they stood next to each other admiring the stars and the bright full moon. 'Full moon…' Li thought. Eriol had told him that he should be lucky today.
"It's a beautiful moon," Sakura said looking up at the sky. Li merely nodded in compliance. "Last time I saw such a moon was at the judgment," Sakura recalled. "Everyone forgot the person they loved most. It was lonely,"
"You beat Yue despite of that," Li reminded her.
"Yes, but it was still a lonely world. I saw what the world was like and I didn't want that to happen," Sakura replied.
"It didn't happen," Li reassured her.
"In the dream, Tomoyo ignored me, Otousan didn't have Okaasan's picture, Oniichan went to school alone, Terada-sensei wasn't our teacher and Yamazaki-kun and Chiharu-chan weren't friends," Sakura began, "You seemed different too, you didn't seem to care,"
"Huh?" Li asked puzzled.
"You didn't seem to care about anything," Sakura answered. "You must love everything a lot because after you lose that feeling, you didn't seem to care about anything,"
"Well…I…" Li began to stutter. "It's not that,"
"Then what is it?" Sakura asked tenderly as she turned to face Li in the eye not letting his intense gaze shift away.
"I probably forgot my cherished feeling which is tied to everything else I normally do," Li concluded. "I…" he began "I…" Now was the best time to confess. At least when he did it, it would somehow integrate into their conversation so it won't be as awkward. Li was thankful for that. He took a deep breath as he tried to calm himself. He tried gazing into those sparkling green eyes at first, but it simply made his face glow with intense red and his throat choke. Li couldn't look Sakura directly in the eye and confess. It would break him. He turned down and stared at his feet as his face began to feel warmer again. "I care about you the most, Sakura"
He had finally said it. With a deep breath, he calmed himself and looked up again to see Sakura's reaction but she was no longer gazing at him. Instead, she had turned away blushing in a brilliant shade of red. Her eyes began to water with tears and she was once again shaking.
"I'm sorry," Li immediately apologized already regretting his confession.
Sakura stood there for a moment still shivering but with great determination, she shook her head. Tears dripped from her eyes, down her cheek and finally onto the floor. Li stumbled back a bit uncertain as to what to do.
"I should go," Li muttered quietly. "I'm sorry," he apologized again as he turned to leave. Just as he had begun to walk away, Sakura reached out to pull him back. He turned around puzzled at her sudden action. He studied Sakura carefully. She still faced the ground unwilling to meet his gaze. Tears were pouring down her eyes and her face was becoming more puffy. Her one shaking hand held tightly onto Li's wrist while the other clenched in a nervous sweating fist. Li took a step closer to her and placed his comforting hands on her shoulder. "I shouldn't have…"
Sakura moved a step closer to Li resting her head on his strong shoulder. She tucked her arms around her heart to stop it from beating so fast but to no avail. Her mind was filled with emotions and images. There was Yukito, the first one she'd ever loved. She had long since realized that she loved Yukito as she loved her father but she still couldn't help but to feel wonderful around him. Then there was Li. She had always thought of him as a friend and nothing more but now he had confessed his feelings, she wasn't sure if she felt them too.
Li was about to turn away and leave her alone to sort things out but a part of her didn't want him to leave for fear that when he comes back again, he would have taken her crying as a rejection and would consequently shy away from her unconditionally. She knew she definitely didn't want that to happen. Images of Li flashed in her head from the moment they have first met competing for the Clow Cards to the times when he endlessly help her out in the conversion of the cards. Beyond that, he was helping her with other problems and providing her with the type of friendship she had always yearned for. She felt safe, comforted and secure around him, a feeling that she had so rarely found even with her family. Surely, her family loved her and she felt comfortable around them, but Li made her feel something else, he made her feel at peace like nothing in the world will ever terribly go wrong and even if something happened, somehow, someway, the two of them would be able to pull through. Over the years, she had grown to be dependent on him and she feared being alone when facing any obstacle. Just like the concert, without Li, she would have chocked on stage.
Sakura knew she loved Li but she wasn't sure if it was the same love he experienced for her. She just wasn't sure yet. It was different form the way she was attracted to Yukito. 'Different' she thought. She loved Yukito like she loved her father so if her feelings for Li was different, she must love Li not only for his friendship, and companionship like her family and her other friends including Tomoyo, Chiharu, Rika, and Naoko. Placing her hands onto Li's arms and gripping them tightly, Sakura pulled herself up and gazed into his eyes with determination.
"I…" Li began again "I am really…"
Sakura shook her head "Don't apologize," she began. Her voice was hoarse and small. She didn't quite trust using it to the full extent. "Please don't apologize,"
Li fell silent. His arms still locked on Sakura's shoulders.
"Syaoran-kun…I…I think I also…" Sakura began as she gazed into his eyes. "No, I know you are the most important person in my life," Sakura finished hoping desperately that Li could hear her despite the softness of her voice.
They were silent for a moment as Sakura's eyes began to water again. 'Please be able to hear me' she prayed 'I don't think I can say it again without falling apart,'
Then Li's lips curved into a smile. "Yokatta," he whispered. "I didn't think you would,"
Sakura sighed in relief as she sided her arms around his neck and tucked into his chest for a warm embrace.
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Owari!
Comments are welcomed at smile_smilie@hotmail.com
For those who don't know:
Anou ne – you know
Kaiju – monster (what Touya likes to call Sakura)
Itada kimasu – let's eat (say that before every meal)
Sou desu – is that so
Un – yes (very casual)
Daijoubu – it's ok
Honto – really
Arigatou – thank you
Yokatta – thank goodness