Tobari-chan: Woot. My first ficcie that isn't a crossover. I'm doing this fic all alone. My Manda-chan has gone to Austrailia and left me stranded in the airport. Sad. Any whoo... There is a time I wish that someone would come up to me from behind and say, "Aren't you that person that created Inuyasha?" And I would turn around, bitch slap them, and say, "Do I look old and Japanese! Hell no." And then Manda-chan would laugh her ass off. Haha. My point is... I don't own Inuyasha or any of the characters in it. I'm not Rumiko Takahashi. Also... I don't own the song "Tourniquet" by my idol, Amy Lee and her band called Evanescence. I Luff You Amy Lee!
I tried to kill the pain.
Kagome looked at the small daggar held in her hand, then at the stream of blood slowly seeping out of her wrist. After months, no, years, of trying to get her love, Inuyasha, to fall in love with her and look away from the dead priestess Kikyou, she had given up. She had given up on every thing, even life. The Shikon no Tama was completed, and back inside her body. Sango and Miroku had gotten married, Shippou had grown into a teen and was already considering courting Souten, the little demon who had captured him for revenge such a long time ago. Kagome was left alone. Again.
But only brought more, so much more.
After a while of wandering the lands of Japan, she had settled down in a part of the Western Lands in a humble village. It wasn't until then that she had taken up the hobby of cutting herself to feel better. Her first family left her in a car crash, and now her second family had abondoned her, albiet unintentionally, but they had still left her. It was then that Kagome realized that the red stream of blood had started gushing out. "Am I going to die?" She whispered to herself. Unknowingly to Kagome, a white haired person and his friends had heard her.
I lay dying.
And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal.
Flashes of her life came rushing to her mind as she lie down on her futon, suddenly tired. Flashes of her first climbing through the well, meeting Inuyasha, Shippou, then Miroku and Sango and Kirara. 'Inuyasha..' Her mind muttered. Another flashback, this time of her lost love kissing a dark haired, dead priestess. Kagome screamed as the pain of losing him finally caught up to her. She missed him, but she couldn't bare to see him after he betrayed her like that. Her screams became louder as pain shot up her bleeding arm.
I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming.
Am I too lost, to be saved,
Am I too lost?
Out side of the bamboo door, were her friends that had 'abondoned' her. They had decided to surprise her with a party, all of them bringing her gifts and prepared to shower her with love. But when they heard her scream, all of them rushed into the hut, dropping their presents for Kagome. None of them were prepared for what they saw on the hut. Kagome, their loved one, was screaming in a pool of her own blood, staring at the ceiling with hatred.
My God, my tourniquet,
Return to me salvation,
My God, my tourniquet,
Return to me salvation.
Kagome turned her glare onto the people who walked into her hut, a slight gasp came from her mouth, but her cold face stayed in place. They gathered around her death bed, everyone with tears in their eyes. Sango tried to apply pressure to the self inflicted wound, but nothing would stop it from gushing blood. The demon exterminator sobbed, and lay her head down next to her sister's head, with tears flowing out of her eyes. "Why, Kagome! Why do you have to die!" Kagome looked sadly at her, and then at everyone else until another sharp sting ran up her arm, causing her to scream again.
"Kagome," the quiet voice of Inuyasha said after she quieted down a bit. Everyone looked at him. "Why did you kill yourself? You had no reason to!" Kagome smiled bitterly. With a small bit of force, she began to tell them why. "I loved you for so long... ever since I climbed out of the well for the first time and freed you from the god tree."
Do you remember me?
Lost for so long.
"I knew you would never return my feelings when Kikyou came back to life, but still I felt for you." A coughing fit seized her, and blood spewed from her mouth. "When I came upon you and Kikyou making love in the clearing we met... I was heartbroken. I went back to my time, only to find out that my family had died in a horrible crash." She could feel pity coming from everyone's aura's. She growled, pathetically, and ended up in another coughing fit. "When I came back, everyone was gone. Sango and Miroku were in the demon exterminator village, Shippou was in the mountains, and you were with Kikyou, ogling her for all you were worth." The pity was gone. Now, embarrassment and sadness was in its place. "Will... Will any of you be with me one day? Or will you leave me again?" Kagome knew it was a stupid question. But still, she was curious to whether they hated her or not.
Will you be on the other side,
Will you forget me?
"Of course we'll be with you!" Shippou cried as he clung to his momma's arm. "We would never leave you alone! I'm sorry, Momma, please forgive me!" The child-like squeak had returned to his voice as he sniffled and cried on her. She smiled slightly, and a bit of regret squeezed its way into her mind. Kagome immediately pushed it back, knowing it was too late to turn back now.
I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming.
Am I too lost to be saved,
Am I too lost?
"I never meant to hurt you, Kagome." Inuyasha whispered, and layed his head down over her heart, listening as it slowed down. Finally, he let it all go. Inuyasha, the great hanyou, who had defeated Naraku, and managed to weild the tetsusaiga, cried. He didn't want Kagome to leave him. She was the only one, the only one, who truly understood him. Kagome winced slightly at the contact, but she couldn't refuse him once she felt the wetness of his tears seep through her clothing.
My God, my tourniquet,
Return to me salvation,
My God, my tourniquet,
Return to me salvation.
Kagome noticed that Miroku had not said any thing, and was grateful. She didn't want to feel or see the sadness radiating off of another loved one. Shippou's, Sango's, and Inuyasha's sobs were enough. "Miroku..." She felt everyone's eyes upon her, "Say a prayer. So maybe... Kami will forgive me." His voice sounded a bit watery as he managed an 'okay' and set to the task of saying a short prayer for his sister, Kagome.
My wounds cry for the grave,
My soul cries for deliverance.
After the prayer, Kagome smiled. "Thank you." She felt a slight tugging deep in her soul. No, Kagome did not regret dying, but she felt sorry for the ones she left behind, even though they had abandoned her, sort of.
Will I be denied?
Christ! Tourniquet!
A last "I love you guys." was managed before her heart stopped beating, and Kagome died with a smile on her kind face.
My suicide.
Tobari-chan: Wow... Was that depressing or what? Maybe not as sad as I wished it was... but I think it turned out alright. Review! Please please please, I love reviews and they'll... help send Kagome to heaven instead of hell for committing suicide? Eh heh...