Night Out

by Love Out Of Lust

Brendan and Ste, now a couple, go on a night out with their friends.

"I'm not going."

Ste sighed, propping himself up on his elbows in bed, his eyes following Brendan as he walked around the room, watching as his naked sculptured form bent over on the floor, picking up his boxers that lay there discarded. Ste smiled fondly as he remembered removing them earlier. It had been frenzied and uncontrolled before, as it always was when it came to them. But now he took time to appreciate the heap of clothes that were scattered across the carpet, like a trail leading to the bed, where they spent every night rediscovering each other. And every morning. And afternoon, if they had the time.

"Bren, we haven't had a proper night out in ages."

"Brendan looked over at him, his eyes traveling down Ste's smooth, golden form.

"I prefer our nights in."

Ste wasn't going to contradict him. He could happily spend all day locked away in this cocoon that he and Brendan had created, talking, laughing, cooking, fucking, sleeping.

But the incessant ring of Amy calling him had interrupted their time together over the past few weeks, her complaining that they never saw each other anymore. Ste reminded her that they lived together, but it fell on deaf ears.

"You're always with him now."

'Him' was one of her more affectionate nicknames for Brendan. Ste hadn't been under any illusions when he and Brendan had become a couple. He knew that Amy and Brendan would never be animatedly chatting round the dinner table, or organising babysitting nights together. Too much had happened. A simple 'hello' from Amy to his boyfriend would suffice. And she made an effort, he had to hand it to her. He'd see her straining to upturn the corners of her mouth in his presence, to hand over Lucas or Leah to Brendan for a cuddle without having to watch them like a hawk, as she had done in the beginning.

But it was still difficult, knowing that they were only speaking because of him. That he was their only connection, that without him acting as buffer, their entire relationship would fall apart.

So Ste had begun to impose certain conditions. He'd make an effort to see her more often. They couldn't avoid their different work hours, but he'd stop spending so many hours over at Brendan's flat, under his duvet.

Instead, they'd all go out together.

Amy's jaw had tightened when he had first presented her with his proposition.

"You want me to go out with him?"

"I'm not asking you to date him Amy, just to have a couple of drinks!"

Her lips had pursed.

"What are we going to talk about?"

He had to think about that one. They must have something in common. The kids came to his mind initially. But it was a sore point. Whenever Brendan and Amy got onto the subject, Brendan talking about Declan and Paddy would lead back to Ste's kids. Leah and Lucas had grown very fond of the tached man who exchanged stolen kisses with their dad when they thought no one was looking. Brendan spoiled them even more than Ste did, having both the money and the inclination. Every week he'd bring round something new for them, a toy truck for Lucas, a doll for Leah. They'd wrestle him to the floor and he'd laugh, embarrassed, and scoop them in his arms. Ste would smile, hardly believing at times that this was happening, that Brendan Brady was actually sitting in his living room, surrounded by his kids, who adored him, and who he adored right back.

Then the smile would fade on his lips as he took in Amy's expression, tense. He remembered how she had felt uncomfortable when Rae had moved in, and the kids had grown attached, asking where she was whenever she had had to work.

With Brendan he hadn't expected the same reaction from her, but he knew he had been naive in thinking that it would be different, just because the gender roles had been reversed.

Bringing up the kids between them would inevitably bring out Brendan's paternal side, and Ste didn't fancy sitting between them as Amy glared and looked at her watch throughout the evening.

"Errr...how about me?"

It was all he had come up with. He was all they really had in common.

"Listen," he said to Brendan, who was now zipping up his jeans, his chest still uncovered, revealing the tattoos and dark hair that Ste had memorized to perfection.

"We can just stay for a few hours, yeah? Have a couple of those cocktails you like, have a dance."

Brendan rolled his eyes. "I don't dance."

Ste stifled a laugh. "You do. I've seen you."

Brendan moved towards him and bent forward, whispering in his ear. "That was just for you. When we're alone."

Ste shivered all over, remembering that particular...dance.

He was half tempted to ask Brendan if he would do it for him now. That they could cancel Amy, and go back to bed. That his current attire was far too overdressed, and he could help him change that, if he wanted.

But he wanted to see Amy, and the memory of a drunken Brendan from their last night out together was still fresh in his mind. They'd fucked for hours after that, the alcohol making Brendan even more responsive than usual. Not to mention vocal.

"Two hours. Please. Then we'll come home."

The word had slipped out without Ste even realising it. Brendan looked at him in surprise for a moment, then gave a soft smile in acknowledgement. He knew that certain things were expected after a year of being together. Moving in, more commitment, whatever that meant. Brendan hadn't known whether Steven would look elsewhere if he didn't get that. He needed him to understand that it wasn't anything to do with him. They practically lived together anyway. It was just...he wasn't quite ready for that. Their own place, announcing it to everyone, people knowing their business.

But Brendan thought that maybe he shouldn't have worried. Not when Ste clearly regarded his set up as something that was just theirs, that was its own kind of home.

"Okay."

"What?"

"I'll come with you. But I'll be counting down the exact time. Not one second over. Alright?"

Ste grinned, and Brendan thought that it was a sight he'd never tire of. He thought how Steven didn't just smile with his mouth, like some people. It touched his eyes, his whole face, those around him. Brendan felt something indescribable from the knowledge that he had created that smile, when he had once caused...well, that wasn't something they talked about anymore. They'd left that behind.

"Deal. Now I just have to get something to wear."

"What's wrong with what you were wearing earlier?"

"Brendan, I was in my trackie bottoms!"

"I know." He'd rolled them up while they had been watching television, so that he could stroke the dark hair that covered Ste's legs, as they had rested on Brendan's lap.

He liked it when Ste looked like that - rough, as though he'd just woken up. As if he'd just been fucking him and was exhausted, a mess of bed hair and sweat and sleep. Which was usually the case.

"Stop being silly, you. I need to look good, don't I?"

Brendan popped a stick of gum in his mouth and chewed it loudly. He immediately regretted it, wishing that he hadn't displaced the taste of Steven. But he had to do something to keep him occupied, because he suddenly felt unshakably annoyed.

"Why? So you can impress Dodger, eh?"

Ste turned from the mirror where he was now holding up a shirt to his chest.

"Not this again. How many times? I'm not interested in Dodger."

Brendan knew the words coming out from his mouth sounded ridiculous, that Steven was going to think he was neurotic, controlling, jealous. If he didn't think that already.

The problem was, Amy and Dodger came as a package these days. Brendan hadn't thought they'd last. Mark Savage was notorious as a ladies man, flitting from woman to woman faster than he'd thought possible. But Amy had somehow been the one who had stuck, despite having two kids in tow, living in a flat with peeling walls, and having an unconventional living arrangement with her ex.

Brendan had been amused at first, not believing his luck. Amy wasn't single anymore, wasn't looking for Ste to spend every evening with her, eating chocolate and weeping over romantic comedies, or whatever it was Brendan supposed she did. He was free to be with him instead.

And then he saw Steven around Dodger.

Or more accurately, Dodger around Steven.

Dodger had soon cottoned on to the fact that Steven would feel uncomfortable with another man being in the kids lives. He had worked his full charm offensive the first day he had officially introduced himself as Amy's boyfriend. Brendan had realised that he had no qualms with flirting with another man, if need be.

First had been the present buying. Flowers, like Steven was his wife. Brendan had picked the petals off one by one, until Steven caught him at it and bated his hand away, frowning.

Then had come the touching. A light brush of Dodger's hand against Steven's arm. And then laughing at his jokes. And complimenting him on his hair, to which Brendan had placed a possessive hand over the shaven sides of Steven's head, and gently stroked. Dodger had been undeterred, and merely told Steven that he was wearing a particularly nice polo that afternoon.

By the end of the week they were the best of friends, Steven happily watching as Dodger played with the kids and making them all lunch together. Brendan thought he might throw up.

Ste had turned back towards the mirror, and was putting on a tight fitting black shirt.

"You say that now, but what about when your mutual love for fake tan becomes too much and you leave me for him?"

Ste let out one of his low laughs, the kind that sounded obscene and suggestive.

"I have been thinking about it, you know. Savage and Hay. Sounds pretty good."

"Oh for fucks sake." Brendan stalked over to Ste and anchored his face towards him with his hands, his lips crushing into his, their tongues meeting each other. Ste thought that it was everything their kisses always were. Passionate, intimate, dazzling. And over too soon.

When they broke away, Ste panted, breathless.

"What was that for? I'm going to get serious tache rash now."

"Good. That'll remind Dodger that you're mine."

Ste knew that he was joking, that the idea of either of them cheating, of being with anyone else, was something that was impossible, laughable.

But when Brendan was like this he was still somehow...vulnerable. Exposed. Ste liked it, if he was being honest. He had hated back when Brendan had been an enigma, a mystery he had felt like he'd never solve. One of the things that he had insisted on when they had got together was that they try to be as honest as possible. Brendan had squirmed at the suggestion, the truth never exactly having come easily to him. But then he had looked at the boy who was asking him to try. Registered the blue eyes, the full lips, the open face, the complete love and trust and devotion written there. And had known that he'd never be able to refuse him anything ever again.

So these nights out together...they were difficult for him. Being in his workplace, seeing people he knew. He was pretty certain that everyone knew about him and Steven now. At least if he believed Cheryl.

"But how do they all know?"

"Come on Bren, it's obvious. You may not hold hands or kiss in public, but it's the way you are together. You move when he moves. You follow him with his eyes, as if you're protecting him from something, keeping him safe. He smiles when you say something, and blushes. He puts a hand on your thigh, and you don't remove it. You're just...close. Even if you're just standing next to each other, it's like there's no space for anyone else to get in."

He'd been paranoid after that, eyeing anyone who would approach them warily, trying to move away from Steven, to not look at him for too long. But then Steven would get that expression, the one which looked almost defeated, tired. Sad. And Brendan had thought fuck it, I'm not losing this boy because of them. The moment he'd decided it, he'd sat next to Steven on one of the sofas in Chez Chez, not an inch separating them, and had discreetly snaked his hand behind his back, lifting his t-shirt up the barest amount and playing with the soft flesh there. Steven's face had brightened like a firework, and he'd momentarily beamed at Brendan, then turned to Amy, making an effort to continue with their conversation, as if worried he'd break the spell otherwise. But the spell hadn't been broken, and it had been like this ever since. These small displays when they were outside with other people. No grand gestures or sentimental words. Just a series of moments, which were possible to miss if you weren't looking hard enough. But impossible to miss if you were Ste or Brendan.

"Right, how do I look?" Ste brushed himself down and moved closer to the lamp.

The light reflected off him wonderfully. As well as the black shirt, he was wearing Brendan's favourite jeans of his, the ones which highlighted his perfect ass, the material clinging to it desirably.

He'd put some product in his hair, and it was looking even more soft than usual, with golden strands offsetting the darker areas.

"You look good enough to eat."

"That's what you always say."

"Well, it's always true."

Ste smiled, shuffling from foot to foot. Brendan knew he still found it hard to accept compliments. But he was getting better at it, with practice. Brendan intended to tell him every day how amazing and fuckable he looked, until he'd believe him.

"What about me?" Brendan asked, pulling on a newly cleaned shirt, smoothing out the collar.

"Bren, you could wear a dustbin bag and still look amazing."

"Well, image is everything, Steven."

"Alright Gok Wan, lets go. We don't want to be late."

"Don't we?"

Ste laughed, pushing him out of the flat. They walked to the club, and Ste could feel Brendan's hesitation, the anxiety he got whenever they would go out together.

He smoothed his fingers over Brendan's hand for a few seconds, just long enough to let him know that he was there, that he was never going to go anywhere. That they'd survive this, just like they'd survived everything else. That one day, it would get easier.

Mitzeee, Cheryl and Joel were working there tonight, and they all nodded their hellos as they arrived, knowing by now that it was best not to cause a fuss, that it would only send Brendan running back to the flat to avoid the attention.

They walked over to the bar, where Joel was serving. He looked exhausted, and was mopping up spilled drinks.

"Two of your finest cocktails please, Scottish Foxy."

"Your usuals?"

Joel was already filling a glass with Brendan's favourite pink liquid and umbrella.

Ste was nodding to the music. Brendan thought fondly that he looked like an overexcited puppy when he danced. Maybe he should be embarrassed of him, but he was so joyful that he couldn't find it in himself to care.

"I've got a day off tomorrow. Thought you and me could go to the SU, play some pool."

Ste stopped moving and turned at Joel's words.

It was that time of the day again, Brendan thought. It was already bad enough at breakfast, when Joel and Ste would argue over who had used the last of the cereal, and would wrestle over the milk. Joel loved to make some sly dig about how could they please try to keep it down at night, he was trying to sleep. Then Ste would hit back at him, asking him all mock concernedly whether Theresa wasn't giving him enough attention. Brendan would put the eye mask that rested on his head back over his eyes, and lean back in his chair, listening fondly as his boy and Foxy argued over him, loving what he knew to be Steven's possessiveness over him.

"Brendan's got a day off too tomorrow."

"I know," Joel grunted, loudly banging ice cubes in the glass. "That's why I'm asking."

"Then you'll know that we're planning on spending it together."

Brendan smirked. Their little disagreements exasperated him and delighted him in equal measure.

"You just spent all of today with him!"

"So? Ain't you got something to do, Joel? Like wash your hair or buy a new leather jacket?"

Joel turned from Brendan to Ste in anger, as if willing Brendan to take his side.

"Got my cocktail ready yet?"

Joel slammed it down on the table, and Brendan sucked on the straw, offering it to Ste, who drank from it while waiting for his own.

"So are you going to come out with me tomorrow or what, Brendan?"

Brendan sighed. He knew Joel looked up to him, that despite being nineteen, he was still just an impressionable kid, really. He didn't want to cause a fight between them, not when Joel was weeks away from moving out to get his own place with Theresa. He wanted them to part on good terms.

But the boy beside him was an ever present person in his life, and his warmth and proximity was something which he couldn't forget about. Nor did he want to. Especially when Steven leaned in to whisper in his ear.

"I'll make it worth your while."

He moved away again, and licked the alcohol which he'd just drunk off his lips, his tongue darting out, pink, intoxicating.

Steven's attempts at seduction were anything but subtle, but for Brendan, they were also entirely effective. He had already decided to spend his free day tomorrow in his presence. There was no where else he'd rather be. But now he found it to be a necessity, something which he'd do anything for.

"Sorry Foxy."

Joel's shoulders slumped.

"Boyfriend and all that, you understand."

Ste beamed, the word sounding wonderful to his ears. It was rare that Brendan would refer to him like that, whether in private or in public. Ste thought that he didn't view them as a couple, or partners, or other halves, or in any terms similar to those. Least of all boyfriends.

But now he thought that maybe he'd been wrong.

Ste stuck out his tongue at Joel, unable to resist. He knew it was childish, but he suddenly felt completely free. The merest word or touch from Brendan could do that to him. Release him from himself somehow, make him less afraid.

"Your friends have arrived," Joel said, the words distinctly sounding like "Piss off" to Ste.

Amy and Dodger had dressed for the occasion, Dodger in a low necked t-shirt which drew plenty of admiring glances from a gaggle of girls, Amy wearing a dress which complimented her milky white complexion. With them was Dennis, wearing a new pair of snazzy glasses, Ste noted with amusement, and looking like he would burst with excitement. He got like this whenever he went on a night out with them, studying Brendan like he was some rare form of species that he had to memorise in order to pass a test.

Brendan groaned when he saw him.

"Remind me why I'm here?"

"Because I'll make it up to you later, remember?"

"Mmmm." Brendan pasted on a smile when Amy approached him.

"Hello, Amy."

"Brendan." She reached out and held Dodger's hand, and Ste thought that maybe she drew strength from him the same way Brendan did from Ste, allowing her the confidence to do this.

"Alright, Ste?" Dodger asked, grinning, and Brendan shot him daggers, which were ignored entirely.

"Come on gang, lets party!" Dennis said, doing some of his trademark moves to the music.

"Oh God," Brendan muttered under his breath.

"Shall I get the drinks in?" Dodger asked, motioning to Joel.

"Wait a minute, we've still got one more person to come."

"Who?" Brendan asked frowning, looking at Ste.

"Well, we're having some of my friends, so I couldn't not invite one of yours, could I?"

Amy mumbled something which Ste could have sworn was "Brendan has friends?"

Before Ste could elbow her in the ribs, he saw that the last person had arrived.

"Darren! Over here."

Darren emerged from the crowd, giving them a wave.

"Glad you could make it. Nancy okay with you coming in the end?"

"Yeah, she had a bit of a go at me at first. Pregnant hormonal outburst, I call it. But I think she was quite glad to get rid of me, really."

Ste smiled around at the group, feeling immediately better having someone there who was on Brendan's side, who wasn't afraid of him or held any grudges from the past.

He wanted to tell Amy that Brendan wasn't the only one who didn't really have friends. Yes, he had her, and now Dodger and Dennis. But he had spent most of his life feeling like he was on the edge of something, looking in. Everything was too complicated with Justin and Callum. Justin had his own issues to deal with. Becca, Jake, Nancy. And Ste hadn't known whether Callum was a friend or something more. He had never known what it was like to have a friend who you could turn to, who would make things seem better without all the baggage that went with it.

Now he felt like he didn't have to worry about that anymore.

Brendan ordered a round of drinks for everyone, chatting to Darren at the bar. He would never say anything, but Ste knew that he liked Darren. They're not too different really, Ste thought. They both screwed up, both hurt people they loved in some form or another. But they kept trying. There's something to be valued in that.

Ste used to be curious about what they talked about. One day when they were having a quiet drink together in College Coffee, Ste had sat at the counter, watching as Amy worked. He'd pretended to be reading a magazine, but had instead listened. They had discussed their kids. Football. Brendan was useless at it, but he liked to watch the matches from time to time. Ste even heard them mention their respective others once.

"Nancy keeps on asking me to get some time off work. Take her on holiday. You and Ste going anywhere this summer?"

Ste had felt his breath catch in his throat, scared of what would follow, if Brendan would be insulted by the question, if he'd ask Darren why he would ever even think that he and Ste would go anywhere together, alone.

Instead, after a pause, Brendan had looked down at his coffee cup. "Yeah, we're...we're thinking of going to America."

"America, really?" Darren's voice was animated, alive. Giving Brendan the encouragement he needed without even realising it. "Brilliant. I lived over there for a few years when I was younger. I still miss it sometimes."

Ste had watched Brendan's hands relax around the cup.

"Where are you and Ste going?"

"Disneyland. We're taking the kids - mine and his."

"Family holiday, yeah?"

Ste had thought that was pushing it. It was the kind of thing Brendan would hate. He knew they weren't a conventional family in his eyes. His marriage to Eileen may have been a sham, but it was something which had appeared normal to him. The right thing to do.

"Yeah."

Ste's lips had parted slightly in shock. He had wondered if he had misheard, but he didn't think he could have.

Yeah.

As Brendan and Darren handed the drinks to everyone, Ste laughed as Dennis enthusiastically clinked his glass against Brendan's, spilling both of their drinks in the process.

"Oops, sorry mate!"

Dennis had taken to calling Brendan 'mate' in every sentence, as if willing to make it true.

"Right, who's up for a dance?" Ste asked, hopefully looking over at Brendan, who suddenly seemed to be incapable of looking at him in the eye.

"Brendan's good at dancing," Darren said, grinning, until Brendan silenced him with one glance.

"Ames?" Ste asked, and she nodded at him, pulling Dodger towards the dance floor.

Brendan watched as Ste shook his hips and jumped up and down, uncoordinated and floppy and shameless and beautiful. Amy laughed and was twirled around by Dodger, and Brendan noted that once or twice, she would look over in his direction and smile ever so slightly. Brendan knew that he couldn't erase their past. He couldn't take back his threats to her, the times he'd broken into her flat. He would never be able to make her forget that he had beat up Ste, that she had had to witness the bruises and cracked ribs. He admired her for it really. Staying loyal to Ste, wanting to protect him, wanting the best for him. Ste was right, all they really had in common was him. Their love for him. She was happy because he was happy. Perhaps that was enough to last a lifetime.

"Brendan?"

He reluctantly broke away from watching Ste.

"What, Dennis?"

"I was saying, do you need a new phone, mate?"

Brendan felt the strong desire to grab his new glasses off his face and fling them into the nearest toilet.

Dennis had worked in a phone shop, and he was constantly telling Brendan that he had 'inside connections' that could secure him a better deal.

Brendan very much wished these inside connections were something dodgy, which could preferably take Dennis somewhere far away from Hollyoaks.

"Because I can help you with that. Just need to say the word. Maybe we could chat about it over lunch some time? Get a bottle of wine, make a real event of it. What do you say?"

Brendan stared at him, noticing that Darren was laughing silently behind Dennis.

"Steven!"

Ste looked over from where he was dancing, distracted by Brendan calling him so loudly.

"What?"

"I need you."

"Huh?"

"I need to...discuss something with you."

"Can't it wait? I love this song, me."

Brendan nodded his head towards the office, and Ste untangled himself from Amy.

Brendan shut the office door behind them.

"What's wrong?"

"Two words: Dennis Savage."

Ste laughed.

"I'm glad my pain amuses you."

"Sorry. It's just...he's not that bad, Bren."

"You don't have him hovering around you like a bug. Does he have to come on these nights out?"

"He's Dodger brother."

"Does Dodger have to come?"

"He's Amy's boyfriend!"

"Does Amy have to come?"

"She's my best friend! If she doesn't come, I don't come."

"Exactly. You don't come, so I don't come, so we stay in bed. See, perfect."

Ste tutted. "You make my head hurt."

Brendan leaned back against the wall.

"I'm no good at this."

Ste raked his hand through Brendan's hair, then brought it down to rest it on his cheek.

"I think you're doing pretty well."

"I've dragged you to the office, away from your friends. Some life you have."

Ste shook his head, as if trying to discard Brendan's words.

"Are you kidding me? Brendan, I've never been happier in my life."

Brendan pushed himself off the wall, surprised by the frankness of what Ste was saying.

"I've got my kids. I've got Amy, and everyone out there." He motioned to the door. "But most of all, I've got you."

Ste wondered whether Brendan would ever realise how much that meant to him. That it meant everything.

"I couldn't...I couldn't live without you. I don't know, maybe that sounds stupid, and pathetic. But it's true." He cupped Brendan's face in his palms, laying a soft kiss on his mouth.

"You're mine," he whispered, his breath ghosting across Brendan's face.

Brendan felt his heart pound at the words. It almost hurt to hear it. Brendan hadn't realised that there could be a good kind of pain. The pain he'd inflicted on Steven, it had been the pain designed to scar, to mark, to turn love to hate.

The pain that now existed between them was the roughness of spine tingling, toe curling fucks. The pain of loving someone, which Brendan realised was one of the hardest things to do. But he fought through the barriers. Because he belonged to Steven and Steven belonged to him. It didn't need questioning.

Brendan scraped his teeth against his neck, sinking them into the soft skin that lay there.

"We should go back outside." The words sounded weak to his ears, feeble. Reluctant.

"I'd rather stay here for a minute."

Ste gave him a coy smile and started undoing his own belt, unzipping his jeans. He pulled his striped boxers down, so that they were bundled around his ankles, exposing those hairy legs of his that Brendan loved so much.

Ste brought his hand down to his groin, brushing over the dark hair that surrounded his cock. He began to stroke along the shaft, fighting against closing his eyes while doing so, making sure that he looked at Brendan instead.

Brendan switched his focus from the expression on Ste's face to the slow movements that his hand was making. He felt his own cock straining in his trousers, and wondered whether he should reach out and touch it.

Ste began to build up the pace, his eyes fluttering shut, biting his bottom lip.

Nothing got to Brendan like this. Seeing Steven twitch in pleasure, jerking himself off, knowingly provoking Brendan, getting kicks out of doing so...he wanted to carry him over to the desk and fuck him against the glass, the world outside be damned.

But watching him touch himself was something he had no intention of stopping. It made his breathing haggard and his palms sweat.

He's fucking gorgeous, and he's fucking mine. I can have him whenever I want.

Brendan moved into Steven's heat, and nibbled against his ear. "Want some help?" he asked, gruff.

Ste nodded, eyes still closed, and Brendan wrapped his larger hand on top of Ste's smaller one. The strokes became harder, and Ste leant his head against Brendan's chest so he wouldn't buck from the sensation.

"Faster."

Brendan moved their hands as quickly as he could. The feel of Steven's cock under his hand, thick and oozing, was sending him over the edge. He longed to shed his own clothes and go back to the flat, where he'd push Steven onto the bed, straddle his waist and lick down his treasure trail.

Ste's free hand grasped around Brendan's shirt, his fingers digging into the material. Brendan could feel the heat from Steven's skin. He knew he was close.

With a cry, Ste came, and panted in Brendan's arms, laughing.

Brendan licked the cum off his own hand, and then got on his knees, lifting Ste's shirt up, giving him better access to his cock and legs. Brendan's tongue moved up and down his thighs, wetting the hair there and cleaning up any remaining mess. He swallowed it down.

"Mmm."

He kissed Ste's forehead, and held the boy in his arms while he recovered.

"It's nice, being back in this office." Ste said after a few minutes.

"It did all start here, after all."

"Well, technically it started in the cellar."

"We can go down there now if you want..."

"Brendan!"

"What?" Brendan gave a sheepish laugh.

"How many times have we christened this office, do you think?" Ste asked, putting his clothes back on.

"Ten, eleven? I've lost count."

They exchanged a smile.

"We should go back out. Say bye to the others."

"Bye? I thought you said two hours? We've barely even made a dent in that."

"Yeah, but," Ste backed him against the wall and cupped Brendan's erection through his pants. "Don't you want to go back to yours so I can return the favour?"

Opening the door, their hands intertwined, they gave a last squeeze before breaking away, and joining the others.

"You were gone for a while, boys," Cheryl said, having joined the group.

"We can all guess why," Mitzeee said, snorting.

"Glad you're back Brendan mate." Dennis walked over from the bar, carrying another pink cocktail. "Shall we discuss that lunch?"

"Actually Dennis," Ste cut in. "We're going now. Sorry. We're knackered and everything."

"Knackered? You're not eighty, Ste," Dodger said, shaking his body to the music.

"Well Brendan needs his beauty sleep, doesn't he?" Darren chimed in. "Needs to stay young for his toy boy."

Brendan groaned as they all laughed.

"Night, guys." He steered Ste towards the door.

Ste giggled and waved over his shoulder to his friends, throwing an arm around Brendan's waist.

They walked back to the flat in the dark, stumbling over in their haste to be alone.

Running up the stairs to the bedroom, Ste discharged his clothes along the way, so that by the time he reached the landing, he was in nothing but his black socks.

Brendan was expecting for him to ask to be fucked right there and then, so was taken aback when Steven stopped his advances.

"Thank you, Bren."

"For what?"

"For coming tonight. You didn't have to do it, but you did. Sometimes I wonder why."

"I thought that would be obvious, Steven."

Ste smiled shyly. "Maybe you could remind me?"

He's fishing, the cheeky fucker, Brendan thought. He knows exactly how I feel about him.

Brendan leaned forward and kissed the nape of his neck, inhaling the smell of him, the smell that time or distance could never erase.

"I love you."

Ste put his arms around him and pulled him closer into a hug.

"I love you too."

Brendan didn't know when those words had become like a comfort to him. Three words he looked forward to hearing.

"Which is why I want my dance."

Brendan broke away, raising his eyebrows.

"What?"

"You didn't dance with me at the club. So I want a dance now."

Brendan scoffed. "Steven, what is with your obsession with me being your own performing monkey?"

"A slow one, then."

"You don't know the meaning of the word."

Ste stuck out his lips, softened his eyes and lowered his voice.

"Please."

Dammit. He knows I can't resist anything when he does that.

"Okay, okay. But then you return the favour, yeah?"

"With pleasure." He grinned.

Brendan sighed, and marched over to his music player. He put on one of his secret collection of CDs that, due to Ste's snooping, wasn't so secret anymore. After arguing pointlessly that he was most definitely not a fan, he'd had to admit defeat, and they'd listened to the CD together ever since. One track in particular, which Ste fondly referred to as "Your song."

Pressing play, Brendan gestured with a finger for Ste to stand up from the bed and join him. Dancing with him while he was naked wasn't exactly a hardship, he had to admit.

Ste smiled as the familiar chorus kicked in.

I'm beautiful in my way

Cause God makes no mistakes

I'm on the right track,

Baby I was born this way

Don't hide yourself in regret

Just love yourself and you're set

I'm on the right track,

Baby I was born this way