Dark Souls: The Unexpected Hero

by Cid Rod

What better way to do a little humor-filled, but nonetheless serious Dark Souls fic, than to force myself into the shoes of the Chosen Undead. I am going to throw in some characters as I go, of my own creation. And head's up, I've never finished DS1/DS2, but I'll still finish this at some point. xD.

1. Chapter 1

Dark Souls: The Unexpected Hero (Self-Insert)

Rated M: For potential sex-scenes, light graphical violence, death, language, alcoholic references, and myself well, being myself.

A/N: So…since this summer I've bought Dark Souls 1 & 2, for Xbox…and honestly I love the actual fuck out of it. And currently while re-reading a Dark Souls fic, I decided its high-time I forced myself into the shoes of the Chosen Undead, even though I need a co-op buddy for DS2, PM me if you're interested. No DLC's sadly, and now without any further ado…Oh and what better way to see my reaction, than using some of my characters? Luke, my cute Neko girl, my Kitsune, a few others will be present, some not for some time.

Chapter One: Regrets, Love, and Death Awaits You!

In the Age of Ancients the world was unformed, shrouded by fog. A land of gray crags, Archtrees and Everlasting Dragons. But then there was Fire and with fire came disparity. Heat and cold, life and death, and of course light and dark. Then from the dark, they came, and found the Souls of Lords with in the flame. Nito, First of the Dead, The Witch of Izalith and her Daughters of Chaos, Gwyn, Lord of Sunlight, and his faithful knights. And the Furtive Pygmy, so easily forgotten.

With the strength of Lords, they challenged the Dragons. Gwyn's might bolts peeled apart their stone scales. The itches weaved great firestorms. Nito unleashed a miasma of death and disease. And Seath the Scaleless betrayed his own, and then the Dragons were no more.

Thus began the Age of Fire. But soon the flames will fade and only Dark will remain. Even now there are only embers, and man seeks not light, but only endless nights. And amongst the living are seen, carriers of the accursed Darksign.

Yes, indeed. The Darksign brands the Undead. And in this land, the undead are corralled and led to the north, where they are locked away, to await the end of the world… This is your fate.

Only, in the ancient legends is it state, that one day an undead shall be chosen to leave the Undead Asylum, in pilgrimage, to the land of ancient lords, Lordran.

Undead Asylum

A young adult awoke in a familiar cell, with a groan. He held his head, and lazily looked away, thinking he was dreaming of Dark Souls. It wasn't until some poor dead sod was dropped into the cell, from above that he mostly bolted awake. "Holy shit!" he muttered, and looked up, gaping. 'No! No! No! Not this…why?!'

He'd look down, and blinked, noticing one thing different than any time he played the game. And that was the fact a cute white-haired girl, with cute fluffy cat ears wearing a full on red robe laid asleep on his lap. 'Wait…she's…no way!' he thought.

"Lyna, that you girl?" he asked the sleeping Neko, who ignored him in her sleep. He'd sigh, and gently petted the sleeping cat-girl. She purred in her sleep, and slowly began to wake up.

"You…are…familiar." The cat-girl said, looking up at her creator, in thought.

"Lyna Lyn Creighton. It's me, your creator." He said, plainly, and smiled, lifting her into his arms, as if she weighed nothing. She purred, and snuggled into him, lovingly.

"But how…you've crossed the Uncrossable barrier?" she asked. "Between your realm and my own?"

"Somehow, yeah." He said, and planted a loving kiss on her forehead. "You'll always be my favorite creation too."

She beamed with pride, and her cheeks flushed, as she did a small happy dance in his arms. "I'm happy to be your favorite."

"So am I, Lyna…now, we've got ourselves into quite a situation."

"What do you…" she looked around, and her ears drooped. "Oh Creator…this is bad."

"Yes, and we're going to do this. Together my sweet girl." He said, and got up, setting her onto her own feet, and he checked his inventory. "Rock on! I knew whatever cruel god that did this to me, would let me have the Master Key." He said, and jumped into the air, raising his left-hand in the air…only to smash it into the cell's ceiling. "Shit! That hurt…"

"Don't hurt yourself too much." Lyna said, giggling. The poor man's suffering faded, as he smiled upon hearing her giggle.

"Let's go." He said, taking the key from the corpse, and unlocked the door, before looking himself over. "Okay. Hunter." He said, "I got…a broken sword hilt, a bow, and…Lyna." He said, smiling.

"If you're a Hunter, what am I?" the girl asked, curiously.

He looked her over, with a smile. "Well, I think you, cutie. Got to be special." He said, gently kissing her nose.

"You know how weird you are?" she asked, with a blush and a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah. I am weird." He said, nodding. "But we can be weird together." He said, "In all seriousness, considering you're in your usual attire…you're likely a hybrid of a Cleric and a Sorcerer…or maybe the two and a Pyromancer."

"Er….in English?"

"You're a jack-of-all-trades magic user." He said, smiling.

"Oh…cool." She said, flicked her wrist, a fireball shooting out, and the man dived out of the way. She smirked lightly, and proceeded to test out the rest of her spells, Soul Arrow, Heal, Heavenly Thunder, and a new spell her creator had only heard of; due to the fact he used it with another character once…and created it

"Dear God girl. You just wasted one of each of your repertoire of spells." He said.

"What was the last one?" she asked.

"Lightning Dagger. It's like Lightning Spear, but more of just used to Agro enemies, it sucks in damage." He said.

"Er…Agro?" she asked.

He sighed. "Y'know, this is going to suck to explain all this to you…Agro is when you force an enemy to go into fuck-it-I'm-chasing-you mode." He said, and Lyna nodded understanding. "Now. Can we get going? I don't think we should be wasting time."

Lyna nodded, and got herself ready. Her Creator, gripped the practically-a-knife, and then flipped it, so its blade faced away from him, much like a Ninja held their Kunai.

He'd smile, and looked at his main-hand, which was his left, and proceeded to backstab one of the Hollows who was oblivious to him, and banging on the wall. He'd then turn, and threw it, into the other, with a chuckle. "That was awesome!" he said, feeling the souls absorb into him, and noticed the same with Lyna.

"Sweet! We share the loot." He said, and went taking his knife back. "Thank god this isn't Dead Island…" he muttered.

Lyna knew actually nothing of what the hell her creator was saying; she wasn't one of the gamers, which is she was more of one of the Role-play/writing characters for a fantasy world. She did know enough of Dark Souls however to know it was hard. Easily one of the hardest modern games he played in his life.

Lyna followed him, as he joyously charged about, until they reached one of the flooded areas, and she jumped onto him, digging her claws into him, and he growled. "Damnable me, for making you a stereotypical cat, hates water…" he muttered, and would make his way towards the ladder, sighing.

The man muttered, and sighed in relief as she finally got off of him, once they reached land, and he headed towards the first Bonfire of the game. "Bonfire-ellujah! Bonfire-ellujah!" he chanted, with a sing-song voice. He'd stick his hand towards the bonfire, and waited, embers came to life. "Fuck yeah!" he cheered.

"You are insane, Creator." She said, giggling.

"I know. And you know you love it." He said, teasingly.

"Whatever." She said, smiling.

He'd sit down at the Bonfire, closing his eyes, and only opened them when he felt a sudden weight on his lap. Lyna was sitting there, and pressed into him, napping cutely.

"Such a beautiful thing. Shame you're not a real girl." He sighed, and would lie back, wrapping his arms around her slender waist. He yawned, and closed his eyes, drifting to sleep.

(A/N: So…yeah, this isn't the end, just a note. Ik it's a bit BS but Lightning Dagger isn't supposed to be anything other than a simple Agro-maker, like archery. And Lyna probably seems OP, which is all fair. Hell I'd have an NG+ follower if I could.)

Cid's eyes drifted awake, Lyna still napped peacefully in his arms, if not perhaps a bit closer than when he fell asleep, and he gently cupped her cheek, and kissed her forehead. He'd sigh, and would begin shaking her awake. "Lyna darling, we've a world to save." He said.

Lyna instead hissed at him, and nipped his nose, going back to sleep. Cid sighed. "Lyna get up, or the next time I use you once I'm free, will be to toss your sorry ass into a river, with dogs chasing you."

He smirked, as that did the trick, she bolted up. She had a quiet whine, when he got up, and rubbed into him affectionately. "It's alright, I won't be that rude to you, my sweet, adorable Kitten." He said, she purred, and relaxed quietly.

After a few minutes he'd kiss her forehead. "Let's go, and stay very close, okay?"

"Yes sir." She said, lovingly.

He'd smile, and took in a heavy breath, pushing open the large Iron doors with ease. "Run like hell to that doorway!" he said, and ran, Lyna kept pace with him, and both slid right through the gate just in-time as the grate slammed down, and just narrowly missed impaling Lyna's cute cat-tail.

"Ha-ha! Fuck you Asylum Demon!" he said, and helped Lyna up, gently stroking her tail, to calm her down. "We'll see you in hell, aka…later!" he said, to the growling demon.

He'd sigh, and continued on. "Another pool, up you go girl-" he said, cut off, as Lyna pounced on his back, he shook his head, chuckling, and continued on, lighting the bonfire resting –careful not to let his beloved Neko touch water- and then continued on, finding a room with an archer down a long hallway. "Well…shit."

"I could take him with my spells." She offered.

"Don't worry, I got it." He said, and moved forward, looting a simple shield from the corpse, he equipped it. And then he charged the archer, who fled. Cid charged with a battle-cry. "Death before dishonor!"

He paused only long enough to pick up a weapon from a fallen Hollow, a longsword. "Not my usual…but it'll do." He muttered.

Lyna found herself a small axe, which she took into her hands, and two-handed. "I think this was…OP as you called it?" she asked, although she pronounced it as like how Options starts.

"Oh-P." He corrected. "And for a one-handed weapon it was, thing is devastating if it connects with flesh, quick to swing, and then enchant it with a Smith later it'll be really OP." he said, smiling.

"Er…?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Over-powered. Sorry girl." He said, and then moved on towards the old trap. "Wait here." He said, going up a few steps.

And promptly rolled to the right, as the boulder rolled down, and crashed into a wall, opening it up. Cid nodded, and gestured Lyna to follow, which she did. He'd pull her into him, lovingly, and kissed her forehead.

Cid entered the now enterable room, and looked over the Knight, shaking his head. He'd always wanted to save the poor Undead. But he also wanted that Dragon Crest shield later on.

Cid approached, and looked at the Knight. "…Oh, you…You're no hollow, eh? Thank goodness…I'm done for, I'm afraid…I'll die soon, then lose my sanity…I wish to ask something of you…You and I, we're both Undead…Hear me out, will you?" Spoke the knight.

"Of course." Lyna said, and Cid nodded.

"Regrettably, I have failed in my mission…But perhaps you can keep the torch lit…There is an old saying in my family…Thou who art Undead, art chosen…In thine exodus from the Undead Asylum, maketh pilgrimage to the land of Ancient Lords…When thou ringeth the Bell of Awakening, the fate of the Undead you shall know. Well, now you know…And I can die with hope in my heart…Oh, one more thing…Here, take this. An Estus Flask, an undead favorite. Now I bid thee farewell…I would hate to harm you after death…So, go now…And thank you…"

"Oscar of Astora." Cid said, clearing his throat. "The gods have given me a mission." He knelt before the knight. "And they wisheth for you to join me. I can save your life, in return I only ask you aid me in escaping." He said.

"That the gods sent me a Prophet…a savior in my darkest hour…I will…if the Gods shall-" he said, interrupted as Cid forced him to drink from the Flask.

"You are spared this day, Oscar. So that you may aid in the quest of the Chosen Undead." Cid said, and got up.

"Just who…are you?" Oscar asked, rising from what was to be his resting place until the eventual return to the Asylum.

"I am Cidarian of…" he paused, thinking of where he should claim to be from, before smiling. "Drangleic."

"Drangleic? I have never heard of this place." Oscar said, warily.

"Because I am not only a Prophet…but, a servant of, Gwyn who has come from the future." He said, smiling weakly.

"…I see. And in that, you have come seeking followers, to aid in the Quest."

"Exactly. Now let's go get out of the Asylum!" Cid said, and charged towards the staircase.

"…He is an odd one, isn't he?" Oscar asked the strange girl

"That he is…that he is. But the Gods have deemed him to be as such." Lyna said, and hurried after Cid, Oscar following.

Cid moved, letting Oscar open the gate. "Around the corner there are three hollows. One with a bow the others with broken swords."

"Let us defeat them with our swords, and keep our shields raised." Oscar said.

"Or…Lyna, agro them." Cid said.

"Agro?" the Knight asked, as Lyna sent two Lightning-Daggers, and the two Hollow soldiers charged, Cid smiled, and toyed with one, Oscar understood the term then, and slew the other.

Cid finished his hollow off with a bit of finesse like he saw in Dragon Age: Origins, only to make it…less cool. "Ah well, it still looked awesome." He said, with a sigh, Lyna sent a Soul Arrow, and a Lightning-Dagger, both hit at the same time, and the Hollow fell dead. "Sweet! Good job girl!"

"So how did you both meet?" Oscar asked.

"Well…I..." Cid scratched the back of his neck, thinking of a lie.

"The Gods created me, with his help in effort to help him in this great adventure."

"Yeah." Cid said, quickly.

"I see." Oscar said, believing the lie.

Cid approached the Fog door. "You both ready? We have to fight the Asylum Demon to get out." He said, and saw Oscar tense slightly, Lyna readied her axe. "All three of us should jump down on its head, and stab it." He said, and both nodded. Cid then opened the gate, and smiled.

"I'll see you in hell Demon!" he said, and dropped onto it, stabbing it in its head, Lyna and Oscar both jumped as his hit connected, the Demon yelled in pain, and threw all three off of itself.

"Lyna nail it!" he said, Lyna sent a quick barrage of Soul Arrows, and Lightning-Daggers, Oscar kept the creature after himself, and Cid charged, jamming his blade into its ugly back.

With a loud scream the beast fell, and erupted into souls. With a clang the key the Demon had hit the ground. "Where did it…?"

"Let's not think about that, Oscar." Cid said, with a small smile.

Cid took the key and opened the door. "Isn't there a big…?" Lyna asked.

"Yep. You don't fear heights do you, Oscar?" he asked, approaching the cliff.

"Yes…why?" he asked.

Thus came three giant ravens, and in seconds all three were held by the arms in the talons. Lyna watched, hungrily, Oscar screamed, and Cid chuckled. As they were brought to Lordran.

Firelink Shrine

"So…only way to travel right?" Cid asked.

"Yes." Lyna said, Oscar muttered some curse, shaking his head.

"Man was not meant to fly."

Cid shrugged his comment off, and lit the bonfire. "Well, what do we have here? You must be new arrivals. Let me guess. Fate of the Undead, right? Well, you're not the first. But there's no salvation here. You'd have done better to rot in the Undead Asylum…But too late now, Heh, heh, heh. Since you're here…Let me help you out.

There are two Bells of Awakening. One's up above, in the Undead Church, The other is far, far below, in the ruins at the base of Blighttown. Ring them both, and something happens…Brilliant right? Not much to go on, but I have a feeling that won't stop you."

"Thank you, Crestfallen Warrior." Cid said, bowing quietly. "I will put this knowledge to work." Cid turned to walk off.

"Strange one." The warrior said. Cid stopped.

"Yes?"

"I wish you luck on your journey."

"Thank you, Crestfallen. Have you happen to see any other new arrivals lately, a strange one with pointed ears perhaps? Or anyone similar to my dear friend here?" Cid asked.

"There was one fellow, called himself Luke Mahiertiel or something."

"Mahariel." Cid corrected, Crestfallen nodded. "Did he go up or below?" he asked.

"He did both, he died once going up, and went below." Crestfallen replied.

"Can you advise him when he returns to wait here, and guard the Firekeeper?"

"I will." Crestfallen said. "How do you know him?"

"Just tell him the God-of-gods man who he owes his life to, is making an order." Cid said, and headed up, towards the Church.

"There's a Keeper here?" Oscar asked.

"Yes, but she cannot speak any more. Her tongue was removed." He said sadly.

"Horrible…" Lyna said, quietly.

"Now, Oscar can you deal with those Hollows? I've got to grab things from the Graveyard."

"Hardly seems fair." Oscar mentioned.

"Mhm. I get to dodge the unkillable skeletons some as tall as the two of us in height, while you fight five mindless idiots. You get the brunt of it." Cid said, with a smile.

"Well when you put it that way, Prophet…I cannot say no." he said, and charged the Hollows, Cid went to do the painful job of dropping down a fall, survived due to using his sword to slow his fall, Lyna pounced onto him, caused him to fall a bit and took some damage. He lived, got up, opened a few chests, and gave the magical gear to Lyna for later.

He'd then dash away from the skeletons, muttering "Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! I don't want to die from a skeleton!" he yelled, and grabbed the items, running as fast as he could, Lyna following. Cid slid to the Bonfire, and sighed. "OH crap! Oscar's got a renewed attack on him!" he said, got up, and ran to go help Oscar.

"What did you do?" he asked, warily.

"I rested at a Bonfire which respawned all the Hollows…"

"Are you insane? I could've been killed!" Oscar growled.

"Y'know while being chased by an army of skeletons, I thought you would be better off than I would if I did rest or hadn't and been chased by the skeleton army."

"Well...I suppose that's fair."

Cid nodded, and headed on, holding his blade in one hand, and his shoddy shield in the other, marching along…and proceeded to slip off the slip. "Shiiiiiit!"

"Cid!" Lyna screamed.

"Prophet!" Oscar yelled.

Cid awoke at the bonfire shivering faintly, and used one of the humanities he had, offering it into the Bonfire. "That sucked…"

"Well, well. What have I here? A lost fool?" a familiar voice said, and Cid looked.

"Luke!" He cried, with a smile. "Damn it I didn't expect you so soon."

"I didn't get very far up or down, and the warrior here told me I was to stay, because of someone I knew too well."

"Yeah, and go guard that Firekeeper, the woman who can't speak."

"Why?" he asked.

"She's keeping the fire lit. And someone will try to assassinate her." He said, plainly.

Cid got up, and then ran to the cliff, where Lyna and Oscar fought back to back against the Hollows. Cid smiled, and slashed at one. "I'm back."

"How?" Lyna asked confused.

"You truly are Undead!" Oscar cheered.

"I guess so, yeah."

"Wait…you didn't know?" Oscar asked.

"Pretty much I did not." Cid recovered his souls and humanities, and walked up the staircase towards the Undead Burg.

End of Chapter 1

(A/N: So… how about it guys? 3,480 some words. That's a helluva start. So I'm going to keep going in writing, if there's multi-chapters posted, we got the first like three or so done. I like to have one chapter on standby.)