This chapter has been written and is hopefully a little more tolerable. I've finally found some more time to return to writing, and I hope you enjoy! If anyone has any recommendations on fixing anything, I'd be overjoyed to hear it!


Captain Jack Harkness leaned on the counter-top and shot what he hoped was a seductive smile at the gorgeous being that had caught his eye. After a long week at the Hub and then being dragged off by the Doctor, he felt that he finally had a chance to relax.

"Captain Jack Harkness… And who are you?" He leaned a little closer and made a motion to sling an arm around them. The Doctor, of course, had to step in.

"Stop it... Now is seriously not the time." Jack understood that his flirting could be bit of a nuisance at times, but he felt that could have at least been given this once chance to let himself go for an evening.

"What, I'm not allowed to say hello to anyone?" He huffed. "Just give me another minute!" He tried to focus on the task at hand but found he couldn't. With the Doctor interfering, he was already treading on thin ice, and his chances of salvaging his evening were rapidly dwindling. Jack was doing his best not to get in trouble at the moment, and it was working. Sadly, they were already in the middle of a massive problem.

"YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED!" The lone Dalek focused on the duo.

"You're trying to flirt with a Dalek! What made you think that was a good idea? Why would you even say hello to a Dalek?" The Doctor ducked as a laser was fired in his direction. He smelled something burning and felt the top of his head. "No! It burnt my hair! Now that won't do!" He rubbed at his brand new bald spot. Jack grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the door.

"We can admire your new haircut later, but I really think we should be running first." They dashed down around a corner and ducked in the first room they saw. "Well, I hope you have a plan, because I don't feel like dying again."

The Doctor shook his head grimly. "I did, but I left it on the TARDIS because you decided to run off unprepared. And yes, I have it memorized, but we don't have the necessary materials."

A sly grin worked its way on to Jack's face. "Well if it's preparation you need, I'm your man!" He couldn't miss a chance to make a pass at the Doctor. The Doctor gave him an exasperated look and shook his head. Jack paused for a moment before speaking up again. "I think I have a way to get us out of here. It'll involve this tube of lipstick I have here... I'm glad it's only one Dalek because I don't think I'd be able to do this for more than one. And if this room is the type of lab I think it is, then we're good to go. Now what we're going to do is..."


The Dalek could be heard making his way towards the door. Jack was honestly grabbing at straws with his plan, but if it worked, he felt that a special plaque should be made.

"Hiding is futile and will only delay your inevitable demise. Cease your useless efforts and come out to be exterminated." The Dalek appeared in the doorway and scanned the room. Suddenly, Jack jumped out and planted a big, lipstick covered kiss on the very tip of the eye-stalk of the Dalek.

The Dalek began spinning around in panic. "I CANNOT SEE. MY VISION IS IMPAIRED. CANNOT. SEE." It started firing off laser in multiple directions, and Jack barely ducked behind a series of cabinets.

Meanwhile, the Doctor began hooking up various hoses and connecting different wires to machines and tanks. After he was done, he carefully maneuvered his way to Jack's side. "I'd ask where you got the lipstick, but it's you. Now, this lab has various tanks of liquid nitrogen distributed through out. I've reconnected everything, so if you can get the Dalek to stand in the middle of the room long enough, we can cover it enough liquid nitrogen and kill it, with no injury to ourselves. Well, myself. When you said we needed another distraction, I'm assuming you're going to stick your neck out."

Jack grinned. "Well, something like that. I get a little liberty here. Fixed point in time and everthing. Now, if you'll excuse me..." He leapt out of his hiding place and cupped his hands around his mouth. "Hey there, tin can! You look like you could use a good time!" The Dalek paused in his panic and turned to face his general direction. "Being stuck in that bonded polycarbide armor of yours must reduce the amount of action. Give me a chance, I'll make it worth your while."

The Dalek began to move towards the source of his voice. "Daleks have no use for the pitiful copulation you humans are so fond of. Your efforts to delay your demise are even more futile than your previous effort to hide from me. PREPARE TO BE EXTERMINATED!"

He grinned and struck a pose. Even if the Dalek was still blinded from the lipstick, it'd give the Doctor another interesting detail when he told the story later. "Oh babe, you can destroy me all you want later. Let me show you everything that's under this great big coat of mine." He looked over at the Doctor, who fired off a few hand gestures. Just a little more. Keep distracting it.

"Now wait just a moment, are you telling me that you're... A virgin? I swear you'll have fun, just give me some time out of your day. One hundred percent satisfaction guaranteed. Backed by happy customers all over. How 'bout it, sugar?" He wiggled his hips and looked over at the Doctor once more. Almost done.

"Fool, I have no desire for anything but your complete destruction. I shall say this for the last time!. PREPARE TO BE EXTERMINATED." Before he could fire his laser, the Doctor jumped out of his hiding spot.

"Not today, you talking trashcan! Why don't you... 'cool' down a bit?" He pulled a lever on a machine next to him, and the Dalek was frozen solid, and he wasted no time in declaring it dead.

Jack walked over and stood next to the Doctor and patted his shoulder. "There, there. Now your hair is avenged. And did you have to use that pun? I thought you were better than that."

The Doctor slapped him gently on the back of his head."Only you'd think of flirting with a Dalek. Well, next time, we're not leaving without a weapon. I don't care if it's some university's fashion show and science night. It's not any safer! Now, all that made me hungry. How about some pie? I think I'm up for some pie."

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