Zim Goes to Driver's ED
Author's Notes: This is a fic that anyone between the ages of fifteen and seventeen can appreciate; THE TRIALS OF DRIVER'S EDUCATION! For those of you who don't know, I am currently taking a driver's ED class, and all the stupid incidents that took place in this story are based on true events that I either witnessed or heard about. I'm just venting some of my horrific experiences.
Disclaimer: I had a dream that I owned Invader Zim… but it was just a dream.
If you don't like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk!
Chapter 1: Handouts of DOOM!
"Okay, okay, students, quiet down," Mr. Peppy, the sophomore English teacher called to the class. "I know you're all excited that today is the last day of Skool and this is your final hour before summer break and you just got done with your finals, but I want you to stop the chitchat for just a second longer."
The class temporarily ceased their mindless babbling to see what could possibly be so important to interrupt their summer planning.
Mr. Peppy warily eyed the clock as he began to pass out forms down each row of the class. "Okay, I know I've only got a few more minutes to explain, so I'll make it quick. This is your driver's ED forms."
The class gasped and whispers soon filled the room. Zim, the out of place green kid who was actually an alien Invader, whipped around nervously in his chair to find out more from his classmates on the topic of Driver's ED.
"Yes, yes," the English teacher continued. "I know you're all excited. This is a summer course, and if you're not taking summer school, then you only need to be there in the morning. Now, there will be a fee, and you can only miss so many hours before the course is not credited and you just waste your money. If you pass, however, it will help to lower your parent's insurance, and… you'll be one step closer to your driver's license."
The class hooted and hollered in their excitement.
"Okay, the information on where the courses will be held is printed on the back of the paper. Be sure to let your parents know th-"
The final bell of the school year rang, and Mr. Peppy was soon forgotten as the teens rushed out into the hallway, shouting obstinacies at the top of their lungs. Zim was one of the last few to exit the class. He examined the paper one last time before he crumpled it up into a little ball.
"I take it that means you won't be taking driver's ED?"
Zim hissed as he recognized the voice and whirled around to face his sworn enemy, Dib. "What's it to you, human?"
"Oh, I was just wondering. Ya see, driving is a human activity; you aliens wouldn't understand," Dib said smugly.
Zim turned away from the human and began to leave, only to find that he was being followed, as usual. He would have to look into human restraining orders. "I have no need for driving, Dib. It's a slow and rather useless mode of transportation. You can't even leave the planet in your little 'sars'."
"It's 'cars', and no, they're not slow. They're an advanced mode of transportation."
Zim scoffed.
Dib raised a brow. "Fine, Zim, don't take Driver's ED, but I'm warning you, it's kind of… unnatural for a teen not to want to get their license."
Zim turned to face the human, "You LIE!"
Dib dismissed the accusation and turned around. Cupping his hands around his mouth, he shouted, "HEY, EVRYONE! ZIM DOESN'T WANT HIS DRIVER'S LICENSE!"
The conversation in the halls came to a screeching halt. Zim flinched as he saw all the kids turning to face him with questioning glances or looks of sheer disgust.
"Sheesh, what a freak."
"Yeah, tell me about it."
"He really doesn't want his license?"
"I guess."
"But that's, like, inhuman."
"LIES!" Zim shouted, raising his fists to silence the crowd. "The Dib speaks lies. Of course I want my license, like any other normal Earth-larva, and I will attend this class in order to obtain such a permit."
Satisfied, the students continued on their way out of their prison and out into the humid, barren wasteland that was summer.
"Heh, see ya next Monday at Driver's ED, Zim," Dib sneered as he walked past the alien.
"Oh, I will be there, human, and Zim shall be the best driver this planet has ever witnessed!" Zim shouted to the boy's back. Dib merely waved him off. Once the human was out of sight, Zim slumped up against a locker and spared a minute to wonder what exactly he had just gotten himself into.
Author's Notes: Yup, that there the first chapter. I'll give you more, filled with all the painful wrecks of Driver's ED-good-ness. (I wonder if that's a real word) If you like it, review and tell me how I'm doin'. I'm sure you all can relate. Oh, and I don't plan on making this a romance, JSYK, but if you insist, I'll see what I can do… R&R!