What do androids breathe?

-/\-

To say that Kisaragi Shintaro is a geek would be an understatement. He is a dweeb. A closet dweller. A young man whose nerd cave is his entire world. A neet in the purest sense of the word, because he is most definitely Not in Education, Employment, or Training, and has absolutely no interest in entering any of them.

Shintaro understands people, but computers for him are a much more comfortable realm. Computers don't judge, label, or specify unless you tell them to. They make sense. That's why Ene is such a bother and such an anomaly. She's a computer program, but Shintaro has certainly never asked her to do any of the things she has done. If she were a normal program his life would be much, much easier.

Computers don't like. They don't prefer. They don't want. They don't care, they don't feel, they don't just are, and the way they are always makes sense, even if it isn't always clear immediately. That's why Ene can't truly be a part of a computer, not completely. She makes no sense, and she most definitely feels.

Computers don't breathe, either, which brings him to his current dilemma. Well, not truly a dilemma, because he already knows the answer, just answered it for himself a moment ago, but Shintaro's brain refuses to let it go. Computers don't breathe. Robots are forms of computers.

And yet Konoha is breathing.

Konoha is like Ene. He feels. He knows emotions, even if they aren't always expressed. He can care, feel, love. If he couldn't then Shintaro wouldn't be considering this right now, because he wouldn't be snuggled up against Konoha's chest feeling it rise and fall. Actually, he would probably be holed up in his room trying to ignore the rest of the Mekakushi Dan as they ransacked the house again at Momo's invitation.

(He'll take this option, thanks.)

Konoha is human enough, but he's android too, and the line sometimes confuses even Shintaro. His oblivious demeanor, the way he is sometimes so entirely clueless that it drives even Seto a little bit crazy, (Not that Seto isn't always crazy, but Konoha occasionally manages to invoke in him a different, more frightening brand of insanity) and his habit of focusing on one thing and only that one thing until he reaches the desired outcome (Usually the one thing is food, but Shintaro can work too) all add up to a rather robotic air. (Even if in reality computers know everything and can multitask better than any human, now is not time for technicalities.)

And those headphones! They make sense on Ene, because she's inside the computer and could probably put together an image of pulling her own head off with relative ease, but on Konoha it's sometimes a mystery how he can hear through a thick layer of soundproofing and plastic. It's even harder to believe when he manages to pick up the sound of a whisper from across the room and actually know what has been said. Shintaro plays with the idea that the headphones are actually mutated ears or something, but decides that it's a matter for another day, maybe when he already has a headache and intensifying it won't make much of a difference.

He's probably overthinking this. He does that a lot. He seeks a meaning behind stupid daily gestures that don't amount to anything and only succeeds in giving himself a new migraine just after the last one has vanished.

The best things don't need to be thought about, anyway. Like Konoha. Except now that stupid issue about the breathing still won't leave Shintaro alone, and he finds himself listening carefully and trying to make out the sound of a heart.

"Shin? You alright?"

Shnozzz… Of course Konoha would notice. For all his human aspects he's still part machine, and to machines details are a specialty. To him, a slight shift of position that would seem to anyone else to be insignificant must speak volumes.

Pulling away now would also speak volumes, and probably, what with Konoha's simplistic worldview, the wrong kind, so as much as he wants to move and hide his burning face Shintaro stays where he is.

"Yeah. Just thinking."

"Hm."

Shintaro strains his ears again, but he's still not in the right spot. They're lounged across the couch in one of the rooms further back in the house, away from the general clamor that rings steadily from the front living area, Shintaro sprawled on top of Konoha and both of them comfortable enough to snooze. Shintaro's ear is pressed just beneath Konoha's collarbone, too high up to hear a heart.

Ah, what the hell. Konoha has already felt him move and known it was more than an adjustment, and it's already been determined that he's as oblivious as anything, so why not. Shintaro wriggles a bit, trying futilely not to jab an elbow into Konoha's ribs, and eventually manages to move over the left side of his chest and press an ear to the white fabric of his shirt, all the while struggling to ignore the questioning gaze being thrown his way.

Konoha's chest rises and falls like before, a little bit faster, but Shintaro pretends that he doesn't notice. He closes his eyes, blocks out the noise drifting back from the rest of the Mekakushi Dan, and listens.

For a moment he doesn't hear anything, and he experiences a hopeless moment in which he thinks, I'm dating a robot. Not only am I gay, but my boyfriend is a cyborg with amnesia and a food obsession, and somehow I don't feel inclined to change anything. F-M-L. Momo will never let me hear the end of it.

Then he hears it. It's soft, faint, but it's there, a gentle, beating throb that signifies life.

Ba-dump. Ba-dump.

A small, happy laugh escapes him, and he fists the fabric of Konoha's shirt with the hand he isn't laying on top of. He opens his eyes and looks up with a small smile. Konoha blinks back at him before offering a happy, if slightly confused, smile of his own, and Shintaro finds himself laughing again.

"Shin?"

"Yeah, Ko?"

Konoha blinks again, with good reason. Shintaro has never shortened his name before. Shintaro can see words churning behind those red eyes, question marks pinging up before being put down again. Konoha isn't sure what to say.

"... Love ya, Shin."

You know, Shintaro hasn't laughed this much in years. It's a strange feeling, the urge to laugh, but when the bubbling chuckle escapes it is incredibly satisfying.

Oh, Konoha. What you do to me.

"The feeling's mutual."

It's impossible to say who starts it, but soon they're kissing, soft, sweet, and long. They stay like that for a good long while, no fire behind their actions, just a gentle warmth and a heartbeat that rings in Shintaro's ears long after he can no longer hear it.

He doesn't notice when the noise from the rest of the gang dies down, or the faint footsteps down the hall, or the whispers that are much closer than the front room. He doesn't notice the set of peeping eyes at the doorway that turns from one pair to two, then four, (if you count seeing through a camera as a pair of eyes) then six. He does, however, notice when the seventh and final observer arrives and comments.

"Oh, god. Mary, what did you haul us down here for? I so did not need to see that!"

Shintaro shoots away from Konoha and falls sideways off the couch, blood rising to his face way too quickly to be possible. "M-Momo?" His eyes focus and he somehow goes from red to redder. The entirety of the Mekakushi Dan is standing in the doorway, Mary in front and staring with wide eyes, tracking back all the way to Kano and Kido, the latter of which has her hand over her boyfriend's mouth to presumably keep him from laughing. Momo seems to have pushed herself through the crowd (How in the hell had they stayed so quiet?) to be just behind Mary and Hibiya and is looking with horror written all over her features.

"Onii-chan, you idiot! Get a room if you're going to be macking on your boyfriend, would you? Spare us, please!" She turns away, turns up her nose, snaps her head to somehow make her hair swish in a way that effectively shows her frustration, (Girls and hair- you'd think it's got muscles all its own.) and starts down the hall, lowering her voice a bit but purposefully leaving it just loud enough for him to hear. "Damn, and I thought the UST with Ayano was bad. Now I don't even know who the guy is."

Shintaro chokes as she tosses back a smirk before sauntering away, and Kano manages to work himself free from Kido's grip. He quickly utilizes this freedom in the best way he knows how- laughing so hard he tears up. He laughs and laughs and just keeps on going, to the point where Shintaro wonder's how he isn't yet dead of oxygen deprivation.

"Hello, everybody," Konoha says, finally speaking. He has rolled onto his stomach, resting his chin on his hands and his hands on the arm of the couch. His shirt rides up a bit and Shintaro stares determinedly at the ceiling. "What's so funny, Kano?" Kano doubles over in response, and Shintaro would give anything to be able to make like Kido and disappear. Or maybe die. Are there any scissors nearby?

...That was so not funny.

Kido decides that she has had enough, apparently, and drags Kano by the arm away from the scene. Seto follows them, flashing a peace sign on his way. Hibiya holds up Ene so that she can say goodbye and give a parting jab at Shintaro's 'skills' (he'd rather not go over the specifics of what she said, because it would likely disrupt the T rating on the story) then runs off to find Momo. Only Mary is left in the doorway, and she parts with a giggle and a wink that sends a shiver down Shintaro's spine.

(He doesn't see the camera she has tucked into the folds of her dress, or the pictures stored on it. Perhaps he is better off not knowing.)

Shintaro releases his breath and sprawls backward on the floor. He closes his eyes. There is a disturbance in the air as Konoha slides from the couch and joins him on the carpet, and they sit there until Konoha gets bored with that position. Then he lays down too and snuggles up against Shintaro's side, and before Shintaro gets up the nerve to say anything there are soft snores drifting to his ears.

Definitely more human than not.