Hi!
I thought about doing this because I haven't seen it done before :)
First fic so be nice please!!! R&R :p
When you are brought up to have no heart and observe everything from the sidelines, its difficult to cope with when you find yourself falling for your best friend, especially when said friend is a guy. However long it may take to overcome, it is possible so long as you're not stupid and confess to your feminine-yet-very-homophobic friend who, consequently, will shoot you down. However, your non existent heart will bear it as you are still able to observe your love from the position of "annoying loud-mouth bunny" friend. You will not be noticed, however hard you try, as anything but this as your being kept at a distance in case you get the urge to "gay it up" when he's not looking. But its okay, nothing a tough cookie like you cannot put up with.
And that's how you will live your life unless you can get over him. Its nothing that can't be handled, much as it may hurt, so you carry on, him being cold and always very aware that you're there, you putting on the happy-go-lucky front, him "che"ing at everything and you pouncing on him screaming "Yuu-chan" because you know it annoys him. That is fine. That can be with held. Right up to the day you start to notice him act a little strangely in front of the newbie and always trying to avoid your conversation starters about the bean sprout. Right up to the day that you decide knocking isn't needed so burst straight into his room even though he told you that he was tired and needed to sleep. Right up to the very damn second when you see the only person who has ever received emotion like this from your non existent heart making out with your friend who he apparently "hates".
Hence why Lavi ran.
He ran down the hallway to the comfort and solitude of his room, ignoring the tears now streaming down his face. He crashed into his room, slamming his door closed and leaning back on it, panting heavily. The tears were getting in the way so he angrily scraped his arm across his eyes so as to remove them. He'd never felt more stupid in his life, having chased the guy around in hope of something for 2 years and then walked in, mouth flapping like a fish, to a scene that try as he might he just couldn't shake.
Now that he thought about it, Lavi felt really bad for Allen. Poor kid had gone so red he almost matched Lavi's hair, and Lavi was pretty sure he'd said something about marriage or children..... maybe even both. He felt, for lack of a better word, like a complete and utter tit.
What have I done?
He moved from his post on the door to his bathroom, flinging the door open carelessly as those haunting and devastating words he'd heard somewhere came flooding into his brain.
What have I done?
Pulling the pull string of the light switch he turned his attention to the mirror, and at the tear stained face that looked back.
How could I have been so blind..?
He ran some water into the sink. Not really sure what he was doing or why he was doing it. His gaze returned to the mirror. He looked tired.
All is lost.... where was I?
His fingers lazily made their way up to his eyepatch, moving slowly around the small bump of his eye. It took a lot of effort not to ram his finger deep into it. Not like anyone would be able to tell the difference save him.
Spoiled all....
"This is your fault" he whispered at his covered eye. He lowered his hand before pointing lazily at the mirror. "Actually sonny, its yours".
Spoiled all......
Letting his hand drop down he heard if not felt the crash of water where it hit the sink and its slowly filling inside.
"Oh" he said, looking at his hand and turning the tap off with his other. It wasn't bleeding, though some sadistic part of him wished it would.
Everythings, gone all wrong....
He started, looking properly at his hand "woah..." his mind said to him "Christ alive you just wanted your hand to bleed. Okay, CALM!! you've lost Yuu-chan for good now but that's no reason to emo out...." he looked back at his reflection, hoping his mind could offer him a reply. However, he didn't like the one he got....
yes it does.
"well, you can shut up then brain...."
what have I done?
But you know full well that its true, what other reason do you have now you've lost all that was important to you??
He looked at his hand again. "wow, I get nasty when I'm sad...."
what have I done?
But he knew all that he was thinking was true. He slid down the small amount of wall offered under the sink until he was sat on his knees, trying desperately to think of something that wouldn't either have him curled up crying his heart out or ready to go and pull Kanda or Allen's insides out.
Find a deep cave to hide in.....
Giving up, he put his head on his arms and just let the tears fall. Closing his eyes, he could still see memories of that day....
"you know you're an idiot, right??"
"well, thanks for helping me out. Really appreciate it" he sniffed, wiping his eyes on his sleeve.
Kanda sighed. "I just meant, you always assume you're alone. I do exist you know...."
"I never denied that you do."
"Che. Never mind then."
"Alright, sorry. I'm listening now."
Kanda looked at him in an almost sad way, whispering something in Japanese Lavi didn't understand. "Kimi wa hitori ja nai..... hontou ni"
"Wha??"
"Che, like I said, you're an idiot"
Lavi snapped his eyes open. He didn't want to remember that, not now. It only reminded him of exactly what he'd lost.
In a million years they'll find me....
He mentally shook himself, loosing the image partially before closing his eyes again. Except now the image in his head was of his one and only with his tongue down that sinfully cute Allen Walker's throat.
Only dust..... and a plaque....
The tears kept on coming as he hit his head against the cabinet trying so hard to shake that image, one that he was positive would kill him.
That read here lies poor old--
"Lavi??"
There was knocking at his door which he would much rather have ignored. However, Allen continued his knocking.
"please Lavi, open up..... I'm sorry, please don't hate m- um, us"
so theres an us now?!?!? jeez they don't hang around do they.....
"sorry Allen, no can do I'm busy painting my toenails right now" he called out in an over cheery voice. Allen noticed.
"Lavi please, let me explain...."
"damn you're talented, you can talk AND stick you're tongue down peoples throats!! clap clap, have a GCSE 1...."
"Don't be like that..."
"Like what??"
"Like a fucking childish twat." aaw yay, Kanda was joining in. "now open this god damn door before I kick it in!!"
"Go ahead, gives me a good excuse to have a new door...." he'd meant to whisper it, but evidently Kanda had super-sonic hearing. So he commenced with kicking the damn thing in.
"Jesus woah calm down Yuu-chan--"
"call me that again and you'll get your head through the door"
"But--"
"and don't bother trying to say anything clever either, baka usagi. O-pen-it-NOW!!!" each word was punctuated by a kick to Lavi's poor door. So, with a quick motion to get rid of his lingering tears, Lavi stood up and wrenched the door open.
"Can I help you ladies with something??"
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1 the grade system used for people aged 14-16 in English high schools :0 over the years they have gotten considerably easier, so the joke is that you can get one for doing practically nothing xD (but it's REALLY not that easy, trust me :O)
Openings suck -.-
Sorry if it seemed a little songfic-ish (I got told it was by YOU HIKARI-TAN!!!!!! T3T)
Thank-you for reading!! ^^
Owari.