'First, you think the worst is a broken heart..'
Your throat burns as you pour another half glass of liquid down your throat, unknowingly mimicking her actions as she does the same behind the barrier of your bedroom door. You swig it back in one and carefully try to place the almost empty tumbler down but it slips from your fingers and crashes to the table, shattering into tiny pieces, some falling to the floor by your feet. You don't realise because you cannot see and even if you could you'd be too drunk too notice but the loud crash causes her to flinch from across the flat and an involuntary shiver takes over her body. She isn't scared of you but she can't deny she's scared of you when you shout, of when you're close to her face and she can almost taste alcohol in the back of her throat despite not having swallowed a drop herself. When you shout at her like that she has to admit it terrifies her and the anger on your face takes her right back to being trapped again.
You don't notice that though, because you stopped paying attention long ago. You stopped noticing the way the look in her eyes you once fell in love with has been fading slowly and this time it isn't because she is longing for you, craving you. It's because she has you and you are everything she thought you wouldn't be. You caught her, made her love you and pulled her in at her lowest point, making her depend on you and only you. And then you stopped being that person, that rock. Your eyes started wandering, back to old times, old faces, old people. And every time she catches you glancing at forgotten loves it tears her a part a little bit more, it untangles another of the thin threads that hold her together.
You can hear the words you called her ringing in your ears and it brings a feeling of sickness from the bottom of your stomach right to the back of your throat. You squeeze your eyes shut to try and drown the sound of but it won't leave you. It's not the words of the insults she hurled back at you that haunt you, simply because she had none to say. It's her broken silence that fills you with a guilt so deep.
You're worried in a way you haven't been before because you're wondering if the damage you have caused this time is as irreparable as it seems.