Note: I don't own WWE, or anything about it. The only thing I own in this
story is Jessi, and the story is told in her POV. Also later in the story a
guy named BB shows up, I don't own him either credit goes to my friend
Kathey. Thanks for letting me use him.
Fear Life, Live for Death
What's it like?
What do you think of when you hear WWE Diva? I can probably name ten thousand different things you might say. Sure some of those things might be the entire truth, but I bet the majority of it is nothing but a big fantasy dream you think the WWE is. My life is anything but perfect, it hasn't been perfect for close to ten years. I got by, hating my parents for a good part of those ten years. Than it happened, my whole life changed from nothing, to something. I got the contract, the contract most people only dream about. Why did they give it to me? Why did they let me sign my name on that line..it changed my entire life, for the better and for the worse. The last few weeks of my life have been the worst, I think, my relationship is breaking down. Tearing into little pieces, I can't help but wonder when the time is going to come, when Matt tells me it's through. I know one of these days it's coming, but I just wish I knew when. I can feel life slipping away, it's falling through my fingers just like it did before. I tried to push those feelings away, the same ones that almost ended my life.
I try to smile when Matt walks up to me. I had a tag match with him tonight, so I figured thats all he wanted to talk about. "Hey Matt." I try to sound as cheery as I can. "Uh Hey Jess..Can we talk?" these words coming from him cut through me. The tone in his voice made my heart drop. "Sure." I nod, trying to still hope for the best, trying to convince myself that he's not going to dump me, and that he's not going to just kick me off to the side like he had done with Lita. He leads me into a locker room, and I sit slowly on a chair across from the chair that he was sitting in. "So whats up? Nothing to important I hope.." I say, before closing my eyes for a moment.
I feel a headache coming on, but thats the farthest thing from my mind. I open them quickly when Matt starts to talk again, "Actually it is, Jessi I have something to tell you." I look into his eyes, the same eyes that stared coldly down at me when he beat me. Told me I was his, and no one else's. Thankfully he had finally stopped, he had finally stopped telling me he owned me and he had finally stopped beating me. I almost knew why he had, but again I pushed those thoughts out of my mind. "Yea Matt?..What is it?" I can see him take a deep breath, I know whats coming before he even speaks, "Jessi, I've been seeing someone for a couple of months."
I close my eyes again, I knew thats why he had stopped, stopped beating me. A couple of months? Thats when he had stopped beating me, stopped telling me those awful things. I put my head in my hands trying to think of something, anything that would make the situation better. I couldn't though, I just stared at the floor through my hands. "The match is still on though, if thats whats troubling you." I wanted to scream after he said that. He just broke my heart, and he asks me if I'm worried about the stupid match? Fuck the match, it's the farthest thing from my mind right now. He was my last thread to reality, the last real piece of my life, and he just severed the bond. What was I going to do? Was my life really that great to begin with? I think back in a few seconds to the time when I was truly happy, not with Matt but with my real friends. Is life worth living for?..when you don't have anything?
Fear Life, Live for Death
What's it like?
What do you think of when you hear WWE Diva? I can probably name ten thousand different things you might say. Sure some of those things might be the entire truth, but I bet the majority of it is nothing but a big fantasy dream you think the WWE is. My life is anything but perfect, it hasn't been perfect for close to ten years. I got by, hating my parents for a good part of those ten years. Than it happened, my whole life changed from nothing, to something. I got the contract, the contract most people only dream about. Why did they give it to me? Why did they let me sign my name on that line..it changed my entire life, for the better and for the worse. The last few weeks of my life have been the worst, I think, my relationship is breaking down. Tearing into little pieces, I can't help but wonder when the time is going to come, when Matt tells me it's through. I know one of these days it's coming, but I just wish I knew when. I can feel life slipping away, it's falling through my fingers just like it did before. I tried to push those feelings away, the same ones that almost ended my life.
I try to smile when Matt walks up to me. I had a tag match with him tonight, so I figured thats all he wanted to talk about. "Hey Matt." I try to sound as cheery as I can. "Uh Hey Jess..Can we talk?" these words coming from him cut through me. The tone in his voice made my heart drop. "Sure." I nod, trying to still hope for the best, trying to convince myself that he's not going to dump me, and that he's not going to just kick me off to the side like he had done with Lita. He leads me into a locker room, and I sit slowly on a chair across from the chair that he was sitting in. "So whats up? Nothing to important I hope.." I say, before closing my eyes for a moment.
I feel a headache coming on, but thats the farthest thing from my mind. I open them quickly when Matt starts to talk again, "Actually it is, Jessi I have something to tell you." I look into his eyes, the same eyes that stared coldly down at me when he beat me. Told me I was his, and no one else's. Thankfully he had finally stopped, he had finally stopped telling me he owned me and he had finally stopped beating me. I almost knew why he had, but again I pushed those thoughts out of my mind. "Yea Matt?..What is it?" I can see him take a deep breath, I know whats coming before he even speaks, "Jessi, I've been seeing someone for a couple of months."
I close my eyes again, I knew thats why he had stopped, stopped beating me. A couple of months? Thats when he had stopped beating me, stopped telling me those awful things. I put my head in my hands trying to think of something, anything that would make the situation better. I couldn't though, I just stared at the floor through my hands. "The match is still on though, if thats whats troubling you." I wanted to scream after he said that. He just broke my heart, and he asks me if I'm worried about the stupid match? Fuck the match, it's the farthest thing from my mind right now. He was my last thread to reality, the last real piece of my life, and he just severed the bond. What was I going to do? Was my life really that great to begin with? I think back in a few seconds to the time when I was truly happy, not with Matt but with my real friends. Is life worth living for?..when you don't have anything?