Written for ouat-exchange on LJ for sanalith. Based on their first prompt of "Rumbelle romance in the Dark Castle". I took the deleted scene and went from there. Unfortunately, smut didn't really fit in with the direction I took. I hope the fluff makes up for it.
Belle had long ago noticed that while the novels oversimplified the concept of love, they still bore some similarity to the real life and she hoped something similar to what she had read would eventually happen to her. A suddenness of love at first sight or the gradual building of affection born of friendship, those were the ways she had imagined her love life to take.
So it was startling to realize that her case was different. That the love had snuck up on her not on first sight and almost before the friendship even began. The sudden clarity on where her heart laid came when her immediate response to Rumplestitlskin's quiet words of "I am a difficult man to love" was a resolute denial.
"No, you're not," she said without thinking and changed everything between them. He was holding her to him, his face almost buried in her hair but after she said that he pulled away and turned her around. Belle looked at him steadily even if her heart was beating faster than ever before. He studied her face, looking for something, whether an honesty or a sign of deceit Belle didn't know. He wouldn't find deceit, though. She wasn't lying.
Rumplestiltskin raised one hand as if to touch her face but then he dropped it. He swallowed, looked to the side and then stepped away from her.
"That's kind of you to say, dearie. Few would be so nice to an old monster."
"It's not a kindness," Belle protested, frowning that he would dismiss her so. "It's the truth."
He shook his head and turned around, heading for his spinning wheel.
"Nice words are just words in the end. They don't mean anything."
"I'm not lying," Belle spoke loudly. "I don't know why you won't believe me-"
"That's enough," he interrupted her, keeping his back to her. "Whatever you think you know about me or... or feel for me is just your loneliness getting to you. Or pity. Do you pity me so much you would lie to yourself, dearie? I think not."
Belle wanted to argue. She wanted to chastise him for doubting her. She wanted to sit him down and make him listen to her until he believed every word she told him was true. But something about his slumped shoulders and defeated posture stopped her. Words were useless with him.
Words were Rumplestiltskin's tool of trade. He would use them to cajole and promise and although they were always truthful, they would also lie in the end, trapping people in bargains they would come to regret. Rumplestiltskin couldn't believe mere words because he knew better than anyone how deceitful those could be.
And so Belle quietly collected the tea service and took it to the kitchen, busying herself for the rest of the afternoon by cleaning, employing her hands while letting her mind wonder.
She knew now what she felt. It certainly wasn't pity and it wasn't brought on by loneliness, either. She loved him. She wanted to be close to him, to listen to his voice, see his face, hear his high-pitched giggle. But she also wanted to make him smile when he was sad, comfort him when he needed it, simply be there for him should he need her.
He wouldn't believe her, though, even if she told him a thousand times. He was so convinced he couldn't be loved that he wouldn't accept her words as true.
Belle, however, wasn't about to give up on him, on them, now that she knew her own heart. She wasn't sure about his feelings but his refusal seemed to be more about fear, not lack of interest. If it turned out he didn't want her and was just trying ot discourage her, well, she would deal with it. But if he did and only refused because he couldn't bring himself to trust her... She would deal with that, too.
Belle prepared and served the dinner as usual. Rumplestiltskin was avoiding her eyes, focusing on his meal instead but Belle noticed he was just pushing the food around his plate. Well, no sense in putting it off.
"I wonder," she said, laying down her cutlery, "why all of the men in my life have tried to make decisions for me."
He slowly looked up and Belle pressed on.
"I mean, my father did, Gaston did and now even you. You just decided I couldn't really love you when I am the one who should know that the best."
"Belle, I know you might think that you feel something-"
It was Belle's turn to interrupt him.
"No, Rumple. I don't think I feel something for you. I know I love you. I know it's not a pity or my loneliness making me desperate. I know my own heart. I know that I want to be here, with you. I know that if we just tried, we could be happy together. But I also know it can't happen if it's only me feeling that way."
She fell silent, giving him a chance to respond. He was staring at her as if seeing her for the first time and though she was nervous, she made herself hold his gaze, hoping that maybe her words would be enough. He looked away first.
"You deserve better than me," he muttered. "Even if you're right and not just lying to herself, I always hurt those who get close to me. That's why you can't be right."
"Shouldn't that be my decision to make?" she asked. He stood up suddenly, leaning across the table and baring his teeth at her.
"Take a good look, dearie. I am a monster. I killed, lied, cheated. There is so much darkness in me that it would destroy you easily. So do us both a favour and put the ridiculous thoughts out of your mind."
So they were back to his lack of trust in her. More than that, it was his lack of trust in himself. He truly believed he would destroy her and how could she give up on him after that?
"I think you underestimate me, Rumplestiltskin," she said and stood up. "Your way of thinking is wrong. Let me show you."
She didn't wait for his aquiescence but instead went around the room, making sure the curtains were pulled and blowing out the torches on the walls, letting the darkness spread around the room. She pulled a portable screen across the hearth, hiding its glow and at last blew out the candles on the table. The room was dark now, with only the faintest light seeping around the screen.
"It's dark," Rumplestiltskin stated when Belle kept quiet, trying to get a feel for the room.
"Yes, it is," she agreed, slowly moving towards his voice, using the table surface as a guide. When she found one of his hands by touch, she took it before he could snatch it away. "Would you light one candle again?"
"And ruin your hard work?" he quipped but obeyed. The nearest candle lit up and while their surroundings were still dim, they could at least see each other. "What, exactly, was your point?"
Belle smiled, reaching for his other hand and pulling him out of his chair.
"One little light and the darkness recedes. Didn't you hear that it's better to light a candle than curse the darkness?" she asked, stepping even closer to him. "I know there's something dark inside you, Rumple. I also believe there is good in you but you think the darkness is stronger, don't you? However, any darkness can be dispersed by a light. And isn't love the brightest light of all?"
He let go of one of her hands, cradling her face as he looked into her eyes.
"You would become my light?" he asked and it was the hope in his voice that moved Belle to be brave one more time as she closed her eyes and kissed him, telling him yes without words.
No light could be brighter than the one in her eyes when she opened them and saw him smiling.