God...it was so tempting.
Delicious. Steamy. Delicately soft. As soon as the bagel popped out of the toaster, the speed of Pietro about either half, Tony grabbed it and pressed both halves together. "Ow," he said, because it was clearly too hot for his bare hands. He set it down onto the plate and eyed at it slowly. Looked it up and down. Licked his lips.
He needed alone time with the beautiful bagel.
After locking himself inside of his room, Tony realized that the bagel had cooled down. He took it off of the plate, lifted it up, and asked it if it would like to kiss him (among other things that are WAY too dirty for me to type here). The bagel nodded and whispered, "Yes, Tony Stark. That's all I've ever wanted." It was then that Tony kissed its middle tenderly, caressing its curves. He loved this bagel, he loved it with his entire heart and soul, and he wanted to marry it. Maybe take it to Disney for their honeymoon, see all of the fake Avengers, all that good shit. Romance at its finest-say goodbye, 1980s!
Tony ****** the bagel down and *** the **** and ********. ******* and ******* to get *****. The bagel said, "Oh, Tony, ***** ******* ** ******." The *** was ****** **** ***. "*******************! You're the God of *******!"
Trust Fund responded, "***** *** bagel! ****."
Now, I can't tell you what happened next. It's too rated R, and if you can't tell by the starred out words I'm pushing for a solid PG-13. But what I can tell you is that Tony later caressed the bagel, whispered sweet nothings to it, and spent the next few days with it before eating it on accident. He thought it was the fresh bagel that he had made when, in fact, it was his fuck bagel.
The end. Please subscribe to my Minecraft channel.