dreamgirl: I really have nothing to say other than this is my first X/1999 fanfiction and I tried to make this as emotional as possible. Also, if any of you haven't read up to at least volume 16 or episode 16 in the anime, than turn back now for you will regret it!!!
disclaimer: I don't own Seishiro or Subaru or X but I TOTALLY wish I did. If I did, Seishiro wouldn't have freakin' died! *pissed* And if he did, he would've at least been honest with his feelings since Tokyo Babylon but oh well, CLAMP is still awesome. "Hello" belongs to Evanescence. But I did change up the lyrics a bit sso it'd fit the boy x boy pairing. Really, just one word.
ENJOY!!!
Hello
Playground school bell rings again
Rain clouds come to play again
Has no one told he's not breathing?
Hello, I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to
Hello
All Subaru could do now was cry...and...and stay in shock. He could not believe what was happening in front of him. 'No, no, no. He's not dead. He's NOT dead!' was all he kept repeating in his head as his love died in his arms. he was too shocked to think, but all he thought about how Seishiro loved him and how Seishiro couldn't be dead. Subaru remembered the times they had back nine years ago when both were but young lads. At just sixteen years of age, Subaru was serious and naive, but came to love the twenty-five year old 'veterinarian'. He remembered every tear he shed. Every scar he made on himself. Every cut he purposely let bleed. When he wanted to feel soemthing instead of just numbness, he would sink so low as to harm his own body knowing that his love would never be returned. But kept two things he decided he'd give to his enemy: His virgin body and his broken heart.
If I smile and don't believe
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream
Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken
Hello, I'm the lie living for you so can't hide
Don't cry
Subaru hasn't accomplished anything, yet. So he could not allow himself to believe Seishiro was dead. Not yet. Seishiro was, and still is, his first and only love. But he never had the chance to say it. And now...'Damn it!' Subaru thought as the tears wouldn't stop. He held Seishiro's body closer, cradled it and kept repeating, "I love you, I love you, I love you" over and over again. His companions tried to pry him from the body before he died on the crumbling bridge but he didn't care anymore. He wasn't broken, so he couldn't be fixed. No, he was dead. Permently broken and not fixable. He was about to let himself die on the bridge, but he heard a voice, much like Seishiro's, in his head telling him to stop crying and get the hell out of there. And so, he did. He allowed himself to go to where he was staying and locked himself in his room. A repeat of what he went through when hokuto died. But worse. Yes, much, much worse.
Suddenlt I know I'm not sleeping
Hello, I'm still here
All that's left of yesterday
As he sat there, Subaru came to realize what he had left. Nothing. His only reason for living had vanished before his eyes. Yes, Seishiro was dead. He now understoof that concept. Seishiro was dead, but so was Subaru Sumeragi. He died along with his beloved. The person he was now was Subaru Sakurazuka. He was now a Sakurazukamori, and he felt it automatically made him a Sakurazuka. He left his place and began to travel to Seishiro's home. After a talk with the other Kamui (Fuuma), he accepted the fact that Seishiro wanted him to live and so that is what he must strive to do. He belongs to Seishiro and Seishiro alone, and that is how it will always be. All tat is left of Subaru's love is his eye and Suabru's life, of which he was both grateful for. His every essence was inside of Subaru now, and that was enough to last an eternity. He will forever wish for his love to come back to him or for one day, he could join his love whever he was. For now, he will just linger onto the words spoken by his love, 'You are...you are truly, a kind person...Subaru. And I...and I do...I love you'.
dreamgirl: I believe this was not one of my greatest works but it still had an impact on me. Everytime I read it over, I cried and couldn't get over the fact that what I was writing was emotional. I hate writing sad stuff, but X/1999 itself is depressing, duh! I would really appreciate it if all of you who read this could review even if you had a bit of a problem with it, I can take it. If I made any mistakes, I'm also open-minded to listening to what evryone has to say. Thank you and goodnight!!!